A true quickie for you here: Nuala’s doing well.
Her vet appointment on April 29th wasn’t a glowing review, but everyone who’s seen Nu in the last week has commented on how much better she seems.
Her meds were adjusted, no more oral antibiotics, renewed ear washing, and we have another appointment on May 13, 2014.
Will tell you more when there’s more to tell.
See the new light in my eyes? (lasers on–full stun)
I promised a pupdate and here it is:
When we went to see the vet last week on Tuesday, it was supposed to be for an ear flush.
This did not happen.
It turns out that Nuala’s ears are too far gone. Due to her allergies, the tissue in her ear has developed inflammatory polyps. This is not restricted to the external ear tissue, but extends right down the ear canal. What’s worse, her polyps were calcifying.
As a result, the vet could not flush her ears and when we saw him in the evening, he indicated that we should stop the topical antibiotic. The ear was so closed, there was no point. None of the medication could get to the source of the infection.
Though Nuala received her annual vaccinations, there really wasn’t much they could do that day.
The blood work we’d had done from our last visit was returned and showed that Nuala’s kidney and liver enzymes were still within normal ranges. Her liver enzymes had actually improved.
The recommended treatment, as the article linked above indicates, is ablation. This is a surgical procedure in which all the polyps are resected, and, because of the number of growths in the ear canal, removal of the canal altogether.
Unfortunately, there is no one in town that does these procedures on a regular basis. Once again, we’d have to travel a minimum of four hours away to get the surgery.
As I’ve mentioned in the past, this is not an option for Phil and me. We can’t just take vacation when we want and taking unpaid leave would be a hardship. Nu does not travel well, and would have to be sedated there and back. Plus, she’s officially a senior now, and the complications of surgery are increased.
Two other options were presented, cyclosporine and prednisone. The first was shown to be effective in a very small sample of canine patients. The second is effective, but would have an effect on her liver and kidneys. It would also cause an increase in her appetite and thirst, but Phil and I figured we’d be okay with this since Nu had lost so much weight recently.
Fortunately, prednisone would likely be a short term, or at worst, periodic treatment. That’s what we opted for and went home with a new, more powerful, oral antibiotic and enough prednisone for two weeks, at which time we have another follow up booked.
Oh, the vet said on the way out, you know she’s deaf now, right?
By the time we were on the second day of treatment, we noticed a marked improvement in Nuala. She was once again, behaving like her normal, healthy self and eating again.
Even my mom noticed a night and day difference in her behaviour.
Pus started running out of her right ear again, the one that was, by far, the worst. We’re just using the EDTA ear wash to keep her ears clean. We also noticed that she was not deaf, or at least not completely.
We reported this to the vet and he is sceptical, but when a sleeping dog in another room is summoned by the sound of the opened fridge door, she can hear.
Since then, her ears have continued to improve. The pus has stopped running, but we now figure that it’s the new antibiotic that’s provided relief. She’s no longer shaking her head or losing her balance. Her ears are perky again, with only the tips of them, where her aural haematomas are, folded over and malformed.
We have hope that by the time the two-week check up is due, her situation will improve enough for a flush (if that’s still indicated).
So, we’re happy with our decision and hopeful for the future health of our furbaby.
Nuala is notoriously camera-shy. When she sees me coming with the phone or camera, she turns in the other direction, which is why I generally only get pictures of her when she’s sleeping or has her back turned. I was able to manage this picture with the help of a biscuit.
What’s that you got there, Mom?
Good biscuit! Can I have another?
It’s been a while since I’ve posted on this topic, so I think a brief revue may be in order.
This has not been a good year and a bit for my poor Nuala.
In January 2013, she ruptured an anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) and had surgery to repair it. Recovering from that, Nu got a urinary tract infection (UTI). She received antibiotics, but a follow up revealed that the problem was not limited to a UTI.
To address what now appeared to be kidney issues, we changed her food to a kidney diet, and started another medication.
She had been on a hypoallergenic diet due to food allergies. Of course, the kidney issues took precedence, but that meant an increase in overall itchiness.
She gave herself an aural haematoma.
Things seemed to get better for a while and Nu behaved as she had when she was several years younger.
Then, in the fall, she got some strange infection in her eye and nose. We went through a couple of rounds of treatment for that, and then Nu injured her other ear with another aural haematoma. Now she has cauliflower ears.
Again, after she recovered from her eye/nose infection, Nu seemed to be happy and well.
In January this year, her kidney function and enzymes were checked and it was determined that she should remain on the kidney food and medication.
I asked for some Mometamax, because I noticed her ears smelled funky. Usually, that’s the first sign of infection. Likely linked to her allergy issues, Nu has problematic ears.
I completed her course of treatment, but as soon as the drops stopped, her symptoms returned. I tried to keep up with the infection by keeping her ears cleaned.
Then came heck month (A.K.A. March), and I was away so much, I couldn’t keep up with the cleaning.
By the end of March, she was clearly in distress. She was shaking her head and her ears were swollen and they smelled purulent.
The first appointment resulted in more Mometamax and an EDTA ear wash to be administered daily.
A week passed and while pus was draining out of her ear (and apparently down her throat), she was definitely not feeling better. It looked like she’d developed pustules in her right ear. She refused some of her favourite foods (another support for the theory that the infection was draining down her throat – how could she enjoy anything when it all tasted like pus?). She was also hacking a lot in the attempt to clear her throat. She started losing her balance.
A second appointment adjusted the topical antibiotic and added an oral antibiotic as well. On the chance that the ear drum had been pierced or ruptured altogether, the Mometamax had to be discontinued.
A third appointment was scheduled and while there are days when she seems to feel better, Nu was not showing signs of marked improvement.
At the vet’s I had Phil weigh her, and Nu had lost 2 KG (approximately 4.5 pounds). We had started feeding her a full can of food (she usually only had a half-can) because that was the only food she’d eat. Her kibble was what she wasn’t eating, and she got a cup morning and evening.
We got an extension on the oral antibiotics to see us through until next Tuesday, when Nu’s been booked in for a full-day stay, light sedation, aural irrigation, her vaccinations (they’re due), and then we’ll see how she is when we pick her up. They might see if they can express and test the fluid from some of the pustules in her ear as well … ick.
Phil and I suspect the eye/nose infection in the fall, that some of the infection may have taken root in her sinuses and stayed dormant for a while. A sub clinical (no physical symptoms) thing.
Nu sleeping in my office (foot of my desk) and healing, I hope.
Since Thursday’s appointment, Nu has been sleeping most of the time. She’s still shaking her head, and now she’s also started whining a bit when she eats biscuits and other harder foods. Unfortunately these are also some of her favourites (carrots).
Phil and I are distressed to see our little dear so sick.
I’ll let you all know how she’s doing in a future post.
And other dogaliciousness 🙂
Yes, this is a pupdate.
Nuala’s doing well these days, but has persistent issues with her allergies/ears that have resulted in a second aural haematoma … in her other ear.
Let’s back-pedal to several years ago.
Nu was going bald in places. There were several hairless patches on her chest. She would also fuss incessantly with her ears and her paws. The vet diagnosed food allergies and after a summer of Phil and me making Nu’s food, we switched to Science Diet z/d, which is a hypoallergenic formula food.
The fur grew back and though not completely alleviated, Nu’s snarf sessions with her feet weren’t keeping up us at night.
When she was diagnosed with kidney issues earlier this year, we switched to k/d, the kidney formula diet. Since then, Nuala’s been scratching at her ears more and back to chewing at her feet long enough that wherever she sits or lies to perform this operation gets soaked with saliva.
I know. Ew.
Not long after the food switch, Nu gave herself the first haematoma in her right ear. That healed up after a month or so, but now her ear is twisted and bent. At the time, the vet said he couldn’t find anything wrong with her ears per se, just a persistent inflammation. So he prescribed some drops. He gave us the economy size so that if her ears flared up again, we could treat it.
Just a couple of weeks ago, Nu gave herself a second haematoma in the left ear and we were out of drops. When we went in to get her latest batch of food, we asked for some more ear drops. These were given without too much of an argument.
So now my pup will have two bent and twisted ears, akin to the condition called cauliflower ears sometimes seen in humans. It’s kind of sad because she did have lovely, perky ears (see header). I’m sure it will have some affect on her future hearing and possibly the frequency of inflammation. Dogs ears are the way they are for a reason.
Nu in profile
I wrote a poem about my snow-loving Nu and posted it to Facebook. People seemed to like it, so here it is for all of you:
A dog’s ode to winter (on the occasion of the first persistent snow of 2013)
Winter, I want to roll in you
—on my back,
paws in air,
body a-waggle—
I want to get your scent
all over me.
I want to bury my nose
in your fluffy layers,
find the dainties hidden there
—this is where the garbage goes,
racoon and raven
tear it open,
leave these treats for
meeeeeee!
I want to lay down,
fold my front legs back, and
push my head into your depths using
my back paws;
slide down a hill on my belly;
shatter thrown balls of snow;
follow the scent of mouse burrowing;
bark at the strange, frozen
tower that appears in the
front yard.
Winter, you are love to a
black dog to whom the
summer sun means suffering, but
not after a thaw.
Then, all is ice, hard, and
crystalline, packed snow into which
no nose may thrust.
Let us not think of thaws and
hardness; for now, you are soft,
white, and mine!
Floppy ears, wagging tail, the new kung fu puppy movie 🙂
Yes, my friends, Nu’s health adventures do not yet seem to be at an end.
Poor pup has now contracted some kind of infection in her eye/nose. She started sneezing a few weeks ago, and then, after a couple of days, she started shedding these honkin’ boogers from her eyes.
And yes, we figure they were, in fact, boogers because of what happened next.
In any case, we went to the vet and got some eye drops, because at this point everything seemed to be limited to her right eye.
After a couple of days of the treatment, however, I noticed that Nu’s nose was crusty (eeeewww).
A second visit resulted in antibiotics and after the full course, she’s still got a crusty nose and opti-gook. No infection, though, which I guess is the good thing.
If the inflammation/whatever-it-is didn’t clear up, the other option that was presented to us was a foreign body. In all likelihood, Nu snorted something up her nose hole and that is what has caused the sneezing, opti-gook, and crustiness.
She’s otherwise happy and healthy, and we hope to continue in that vein, but every once in a while, I have to wipe my dog’s nose.
Nuala in her hidey place
So, first things first:
Amanda is participating, with Nina Amir, in the NaNoWriMo alternative, Write Non-Fiction in November, or WNFIN 🙂
Here’s the lovely pic:
Write Non-Fiction in November
As part of the lead up and promotion, Amanda has gone plum prompt crazy! She’s even giving us prompt-interviews! I think it’s a fabulous idea (that’s why she’s the Creative Idea Gal). For those of you who may not have perused my pages, it’ll give us a chance to get better acquainted. Plus some of the answers won’t be found on my pages, so bonus info!
Here’s what Amanda posted on Wednesday.
Here are my answers 🙂
(1) Does the title of your blog, Writerly Goodness, have a special significance?
Writerly Goodness is my creative alter ego. In my day job, I work in the corporate learning and development world, which is related to, but distinct from, the creative work I do in the evenings and on weekends. I need to compartmentalize and separate my two working worlds and so, like a pseudo-super hero, I “change costumes” and transform into Writerly Goodness, which is also what I hope to produce 😉 I address this in a post: Do you dress for success?
I’m also an introvert. Big time. It’s another part of my daily transformation. I have to put on the extrovert for my work, especially when I deliver training, and just need to hole up when I get home. Fortunately, the interwebz give me the virtual distance to engage all my online friends and family without distress. I haven’t written a lot about introversion yet, but I’ve just finished Susan Cain’s Quiet, and will begin to share some of the insights I’ve gained in the reading.
I joke in my welcome message that I might have a multiple personality disorder, which is more appropriately called a dissociative identity disorder, but while that is not true, I am host to other mental illnesses, most notably depression. I actually talk about mental illness quite a bit, what experiences have contributed to my condition, how mental illness intersects with creativity, and what I’ve learned in the process of managing my depression.
Finally, Writerly Goodness has a decidedly canine aspect to her: loyal, patient, dedicated. I can tell her to “fetch, girl!” and she will inevitably return with the words I need 🙂 So maybe WG is the embodiment of my muse? Oooh! Hadn’t thought of that before. Thanks, Amanda!
(2) You write frequently about Caturday Quickies. What does that mean? What is Caturday?
Caturday emerged from a web site called I can has cheezburger? It’s one of the original sites where LOLcats can be found (cute pictures and animated gifs of cats, or kittehs, as they’re called, with humorous captions). The site’s mascot is a gorgeous Russian Blue with a hopeful look on his (or her) fuzzy face and with the caption that eventually became the name of the site.
Instead of Saturday, the day became Caturday.
I used to visit “I can has” every day for my feline fix, and eventually their sister-site, I has a hotdog (which gave rise to Sundog instead of Sunday in the same way) for my puppeh pick-me-up. Eventually, I couldn’t keep up with the number of new posts in a day and realized it was more of an addiction than an entertainment. Now, I see enough of the shared memes on social media to keep me happy.
I’m an animal lover and I used to own serve two cats. Right now, I have my dog, Nuala, but more on her in a bit.
(3) Are you inspired by your training coordinator job? Do you write about your job?
My day job intersects interestingly with my creative work. As a writer, I always think stories should educate as well as entertain, and the things that I learn as a trainer contribute to my stories.
Also, my writing translates into instructional design. I’m a fan of story-based instructional design (surprise, surprise) and I’ve been able to help write a course that won me and my team a Silver Award of Excellence in 2012.
More recently, my grammar Nazi nature has been able to come out and play as I’ve taught five sessions of Business Writing Made Easy to participants in two different business lines. The second last one was a training-for-trainers version of the course, where I was introducing colleagues to the training material so they, in turn, could deliver it to other staff members.
As a training coordinator, I’m constantly writing reports, training plans, proposals, and briefing notes. It’s completely different work than writing a story, poetry, or a novel, and my background in rhetoric (BA, Laurentian University 1995, cum laude) has come into play.
I have a category devoted to my learning and development (L&D) side: the Learning Mutt. As you’ve been so kind as to ask me about that, I’ll write to that point more directly later on.
(4) Why do you call yourself a writing geek? Why do you call yourself a keener?
I’m a writing geek for many reasons, only a few of which I’ll mention here (don’t want to bore y’all).
I love words. In my university years, I took several courses on the history of the language, old English, middle English, Shakespeare, and 18th Century literature (the days of the first dictionaries). I love etymology. I love the evolution of the language—English is such a mutt language, we’ve stolen from or been contributed to by nearly every language at one time or another.
I love the physicality of language, where the sounds are produced. It’s different for each stage/evolution of English: back in the throat, up in the nose, forward in the mouth, up front through the teeth.
I love accents and dialects. I love pidgin languages.
You can smell the smoke when I start thinking about words 🙂
I adore the writing process, mine and others. Nothing makes me more #furiouslyhappy than to read the posts of other writers who share their workspaces, work habits, revision strategies, etc. I’ve been glued to Elissa Field’s blog while she’s been writing about her revisions. Endlessly fascinating.
I also love learning about writing. I’m constantly doing it, even though I have an MA in English literature and creative writing. I read craft books (and everything else I can get my hands on—I’m a book addict) and I read like a writer, looking for clues, analyzing structure, teasing out the reasoning behind creative choices.
I’ve got a subscription to Writer’s Digest Tutorials and have recently started taking courses, from Dan Blank’s Platform Building course, to a selection of Wana International webinars.
I follow Grammar Girl.
I could go on, but I think you get the idea.
(5) How does being an experiential learner affect your writing?
This is going to be a short one: I learn by doing.
I write, therefore I am.
The only way to improve is to write, and to write every day.
(6) You mentioned that learning and writing go hand in hand. Can you describe how you tie both into one on your blog?
I think I addressed this in my answer to question 3, above, but here’s a little more about it:
When I was back in university, I was amazed at how everything I was learning, from astronomy and biology, through philosophy and psychology, to English, music, and art, intersected in bizarre and wonderful ways.
I find this to be true with my work, as well.
Besides, if I’m going to spend most of my waking hours doing something that is not writing, it better feed my muse in some way. I just stay open to the possibilities. Mental popcorn. Wheee!
(7) You list several cultural references on your blog (Ukrainian Christmas, Algonkian conference, etc.). What inspires you to write about those cultures?
I think the reference to Ukranian Christmas was probably about a friend of mine, who celebrates it, or in my discussion about how I developed my religions/spirituality for my fantasy novel.
The Algonkian Conference is actually a pitch conference that has nothing to do with the Algonquin people. Though I may have referred to the Ojibwe and Cree nations in my discussion of how I invented some of my languages for my work in progress.
In general, I’m very open to religion and spirituality. I was raised Christian (Lutheran, specifically) but now identify as agnostic with pagan leanings. I don’t blog about it too much, though, because I think that both religion and spirituality are very personal things, and while I admire the devout of faith, I don’t think that anyone has the right to tell anyone else what to believe. That is between the individual and the God of their understanding.
I think I’ll shut up now, before I offend anyone :0
(8) What is the learning mutt side of your brain? How does that impact your learning or writing?
The learning mutt is my day job personality, but it’s more than that. It’s the part of me that watches the Discovery Channel, follows Bad Astronomer Phil Plait, and was enthralled by Commander Hadfield’s social media campaign from space. It’s the part of me that reads. It’s the part of me that takes courses and webinars. It’s the part of me that wants more, more, MOAR knowledge, regardless of what it might be.
I’m a pop culture junkie, a trivia queen (maybe princess), and creative connections pop out at me from everywhere (mental popcorn mention above).
I don’t have an eidetic memory, or speed-read, or anything, but my brain just wants to fill itself with everything out there, so it is very much like a mutt: a little bit of everything goes into it.
I hope most of it stays there too, another reason I try to keep learning 😉
(9) Does your pup-child Nuala inspire your work? Have you considered writing a non-fiction book about dogs?
All of my dependant quadrupeds, feline or canine, have held special places in my heart. My husband and I are childless-by-choice, and in a way our pets fill the place of children in our lives.
I also believe that dogs, in particular, are here to teach us how to love unconditionally.
I haven’t thought about writing a non-fiction book about dogs yet. I don’t think I have enough experiences to fill up a book right now.
I do have an idea for a middle grade book that features a dog as its protagonist, though. It’s kind of like a Desmond the Dog Detective meets Watership Down, with maybe just a dash of Animal Farm.
Yup, that’s the kind of thing I think up 😛
(10) Your curriculum vitae is impressive! It is also a non-traditional addition to a blog. Has posting your c.v. helped you get noticed, get writing work, be featured on other blogs?
Thank you, but actually, it hasn’t resulted in any of that good stuff. Nobody’s even “liked” it yet.
When I started my blog, I didn’t have any books that I could promote, so I thought the CV would speak for my experience as a writer. It was key to my application for professional membership to the Canadian Authors Association. Maybe when I start querying, agents will start looking me up? One can only hope 😀
I’ve since added a page to feature the two anthologies including my poetry of which the publisher still has copies to sell, but that hasn’t really resulted in much action either. At least the publisher hasn’t let me know that he’s run out of copies, or that my page has, in any way, influenced the poetry-reading public 😉
This must be tempered with the fact that a poetry best-seller in Canada means 500 copies sold. NeoVerse accomplished that goal, if nothing else.
Thanks for giving me this opportunity, Amanda! This was fun!
What do the rest of you think? Did you enjoy finding out more about me, or did it leave you cold? Regardless, I’d love to hear from you.
And please do visit/participate in WNFIN if you are so moved. That’s Write Non-Fiction in November with Amanda Socci and Nina Amir, just in case you forgot 😉 It’s been a while (long post, whew!).
Tomorrow: Review of Dead Air, and sommat about my trip last weekend.
My last mini-pupdate was posted March 17th.
Nu lounging on the driveway–her shaved hip is growing in well 🙂
So when last I mentioned her health, Nuala had contracted a urinary tract infection (UTI). That was addressed with antibiotics, and we would have to go back in 2 weeks’ time to have her urine tested again. Also at this time, the vet wanted to take another blood sample to see how her liver was recovering after the Metacam. Her annual exam and shots would be due then as well, so we decided to make a day of it.
While the UTI had cleared up, there was still significant protein in her pee, or proteinuria. This is an indicator of kidney damage. Nu’s blood was also analyzed for kidney enzymes, and they were all in perfect balance. So on one hand, there was evidence of kidney damage, and on the other, there was none.
This shot from the back shows her injured ear. It used to be mostly upright, like the other one.
In the meantime, Nu had somehow ruptured one of the blood vessels in her right ear and had developed an aural haematoma. We had to get some drops for her ears to treat the ongoing inflammation that likely caused her to rupture the vessel with scratching in the first place, but neither draining nor surgery was recommended (too painful). Her body will take care of the situation on its own in a few weeks, though her wee ear will never be the same.
Other than having a ridiculously fat ear, she’s doing fine.
The vet wanted her in to test her blood pressure (hypertension in dogs can cause proteinuria) and take some abdominal x-rays to see if a growth of some sort, or kidney stones could be detected.
Nothing abnormal turned up on the x-rays. No stones, no growths. On her kidnies, anyway. What the x-rays did reveal was an enlarged liver and spleen (sweet Jesus).
Nu’s blood pressure was elevated and so a course of ACE inhibitors was started. She’ll likely be on those for the rest of her life, but we’re going back in a month to have everything checked again. We are also transitioning her to a new food (a specialized kidney diet) and hoping that her food allergies don’t result in the mange-like fur-loss she’s experienced in the past.
More diagnostics were recommended to establish the reason for the liver and spleen enlargement, involving a trip to Newmarket, the closest town equipped to do veterinary ultrasounds. Alternatively, our vet could perform a laparoscopic procedure and possible biopsy (if required).
Phil and I discussed it, and even though the option of sedation was offered, the travel would be more torture to Nuala than any resolution the ultrasound might reveal. She HATES the car. Even laparoscopic procedures are invasive, though minimally so. We had to decide where we would draw the line.
If there is some infection or tumour causing the enlargement of her organs, there’s little that can be done in either case. Liver and spleen are pretty important and highly vascular organs and several diseases that affect either usually result in internal bleeding, or disseminated intravascular coagulation (DIC).
We’d already gone through the heartbreak of hemangiosarcoma with our last dog, and though we authorized surgery, it did little for her other than to confirm that her condition was terminal. Ultimately internal bleeding was the cause of her demise.
Organ failure is another possibility, but there are no transplant programs for pets.
There’s also a chance that whatever condition she has that’s causing the enlargement of her liver and spleen won’t become an issue in her lifetime. She’s just passed her eighth birthday and most dogs don’t make it very far into their teens.
You might see this as naive optimism, or unnecessarily harsh, but Phil is Mr. Science and he used to work as a laboratory technician for humans. He’s well-aware of the potential issues and has shared his insights.
Nuala hoping to scam noms from Phil 🙂
Aside from which, Nu is behaving normally. Other than a little limp, exacerbated by the leg-tugging required to get a good abdominal x-ray, she’s fine. In this morning’s snow, she was doing her usual pup-angels and seal impression. She was also scavenging for dirty tissues and all manner of tasty (to her) garbage. By all accounts, she’s a happy dog.
It would be different if she was experiencing further pain, or other abnormal behaviour.
We’re going to take things a step at a time. Use the ACE inhibitors and k/d (Hill’s Kidney Diet) for the month and see if they improve her blood pressure and proteinuria.
For us, it’s a matter of quality of life for Nuala. The ACL injury we had to do something about. It caused her a great deal of pain and could have caused other injuries and difficulties in the future. When she sheared a tooth off, oral surgery was a must. When she lost patches of fur due to a food allergy, hypoallergenic food was the fix.
Now the kidney diet and ACE inhibitors are necessary. We’re just about at our limit with what we can reasonably do to ensure Nu’s continued, happy existence, though.
Will let you know how all of this pans out.
How are your animal muses doing these days? I sincerely hope all is well.
How did what was supposed to be a mere two-part guest post get to be this huge? I think it’s what project managers call “scope creep.” 🙂 Essentially, the story demanded something more, and as with many of the things I write, it told me the shape it wanted to be in.
Thanks to everyone who’s stuck with me through this very personal tale. If it touches you in any way, I encourage you to like, share, comment, or subscribe as your conscience dictates.
I’ll take the opportunity here to remind everyone that while this story is based on my life, that it is filtered through my frame, and is, no more and no less than anything else I write, a story.
Last week: I discussed some of the things that I do to keep the wolf of my depression from the door, or perhaps invite it in, let it curl up by the hearth, and make itself at home.
This week I’m going to pick up the original thread of the tale where I left it.
The years during which I was “growing up,” getting a job, and learning how to deal with my depression were largely fallow ones for me creatively. I got off to a good start in my undergrad years, both at Guelph and at Laurentian, but faltered during my struggle to achieve my master’s degree.
Though my primary poetic publications, NeoVerse and Battle Chant, emerged around the time that I finally received my graduate degree, I found it difficult to continue writing. A handful of scattered publications in poetry and a short-lived foray into publishing weren’t enough to validate my still-fragile writer’s ego.
I’ve never had a thick skin.
As I slowly worked through my issues, however, I started to realize that writing wasn’t something I did or didn’t do. It’s something I am. My inability to commit to the writing life on a regular basis made me question my calling. If I couldn’t write, how could I call myself a writer? Maybe it was time to throw in the towel and commit to a life without magic.
The sheer impossibility of that thought told me that writing was what I was meant to do. I just had to find my way to it without a map or any orienteering skill whatsoever.
Upon my triumphant return from Windsor and contract jobs interspersed with unemployment, Phil and I decided to get a puppy. We already had two cats, one a three-legged refugee from my days at the Veterinary Emergency Clinic in Mississauga, the other a sweet-natured black cat that Phil got me for my birthday one year.
Our dependent quadrupeds helped me immensely. I believe that pets have a lot to teach us about unconditional love and being good people. My pets are some of the best people I’ve known 😉
I got my full time job with my current employer. Phil and I got a house and a car. I made use of my new benefits to get some serious work done on both my body and my mind. I figured out that medication was not the way to address my feral disease.
My mother was still working, part-time at the local hospital, at home, taking care of my father, who had graduated to a disability pension and therapy, and at the seniors’ residence where my grandfather now lived.
I went out with her to see my grandfather about once a week, and helped her to transport him to his various appointments. My father began to have issues with his heart, eventually diagnosed as arrhythmia and congestive heart failure. He got a pace-maker, and a new suite of medications.
Shortly after retiring from the hospital, my mom developed diabetes. Dad started to fall. If it happened at home, either Phil or I, or both of us would have to help Mom, because Dad couldn’t get up under his own power and she couldn’t lift him. If it happened outside home, it generally involved a hospital stay. Dad was on Cumadin by this time and as a result, even the smallest injury could become serious due to the complications of the medication.
It wasn’t something sudden. Zoe developed hemangiosarcoma and though we caught it early, the vet wasn’t able to catch it all with surgery and internal lavage.
The issue with this particular type of canine cancer is that it likes vascular areas, that is, places in the body where blood vessels tend to gather, like the spleen and the liver. Once it takes hold, it disseminates quickly and almost always results in death.
The biopsy taken in the surgery came back malignant. It would only be a matter of time. As it turned out, we only bought Zoe a couple of weeks.
At first, it seemed like she was recovering. Phil and I had taken to sleeping on the futon in the living room so we could be close to her if problems arose.
The morning she woke me at 5 am looking for comfort was her last.
I won’t describe that morning other than to say that I called in sick. I was devastated. For the first time, I cried legitimately over the loss of a loved one.
My maternal grandfather was the only one of my grandparents left alive. He’d been a hard-core smoker, and alcoholic for most of his life. When my grandmother passed away, he reacted poorly and within a few months, a fall resulting from TIA, landed him in the hospital.
From there, arrangements were made to move him into a seniors’ residence and for many more years, he lived happily, adjusting to the fact that he couldn’t drive anymore, that he had to go outside the residence to smoke, and that he had to depend on my mother to ration him a few beer on special occasions.
Some irregularities regarding his heart landed him in the hospital and when I got the call at work that I should come to the hospital, I had a bad feeling. In the time it would take me to get the car, drive to the hospital, find parking, and get to his room, I could walk, so I sped along as quickly as I could, hoping that he would hold on long enough for me to get there.
Turns out he’d already passed away when I got the call.
Papa’s passing wasn’t all that traumatic for me. He’d lived 94 years despite his addictions and was, so far as I know, happy. I also felt confident that I had been there for him as much as I could.
I helped Mom settle his estate. Being able to help her out in that way made another big difference for me.
I received a small inheritance, just enough to invest in my first laptop computer. That year, I started to get back to my writing and the novel I’d conceived of all those years ago in university.
In another year, Phil and I felt that we could bear the love of another pup. That was when we got the Nuala-beast.
Though I was writing more, I wasn’t writing daily yet. It wasn’t until Nino Ricci came to town to do a workshop with the Sudbury Writers’ Guild that my head got turned around the right way on that.
It was his sharing of his own guardian tale that helped so much. Every writer has at least one, that big name, well-established Author who tells you that your work is crap.
The breakthrough was that I could choose not to let the well-meant, but unfortunate words of my guardian keep me from entering the inner sanctum and gaining my prize.
Productive or not, I’ve been writing every day since, and that, as the poet said, has made all the difference.
Our little black cat, Thufir (named after the Mentat Thufir Hawat due to his fondness for 
flashing lights) developed feline diabetes. Phil and I were surprised because he wasn’t obese or showing any of the other signs, but his blood glucose level didn’t lie.
He was on Metformin for a year and graduated to insulin after that. I became very adept at taking his blood sugar levels and injecting him daily. He came to tolerate, if not anticipate his injections, like he knew that they made him feel better.
Once again, however, it was a matter of time. Eventually, organ failure took out little guy.
I wasn’t sad this loss either. I’d been the best kitteh-mama I could have been and I knew that I’d done well by him. I’d kind of made my peace with death by this time.
I’m going to leave things here for now. The next big event for me was the death of my father, and that’s going to need a post unto itself.
After that, I’m going to delve into my insights into happiness as a result of all I’ve learned and that will be the culmination of the series.
Tomorrow I’m going to be writing the Wordsmith Studio Anniversary post 🙂 What’s that, you ask? Read and find out, my friends.
Coming soon: I have a few wonderful authors who have agreed to do interviews for little ole me. Look out in the next few weeks for six questions with fantasy author J. L. Madore, poet Barbara Morrison, and D. J. McIntosh, author of The Witch of Babylon, and the soon-to-be-released The Book of Stolen Tales.
I’m finding all sorts of writerly goodness to share 🙂
Though my mom was adopted, she was of Irish descent. It was something my grandfather liked to tease her about. So though my last name is Finnish, I claim Irish into the mix and feel very proud to do so. Besides, isn’t everyone Irish on St. Patrick’s Day?
I mentioned a few weeks ago that I was entering my “season of sorrow.” The first of the sad anniversaries passed last Thursday, March 14th with Dad’s birthday. He would have been 73 this year (I think, I’m beginning to lose track—it’s shameful).
I posted this to Facebook on the day, but I wanted to post it again, just because.
I’d hoped not to have to write any more about Nuala in the near future, but it seems she now has a urinary infection, poor dear. The snow reveals clear signs of blood in her urine 😦
We decided to take her off the Metacam last month, and the blood tests confirmed that her liver was being compromised by long-term use. She’s still been limping, but it’s different than it was before. Now we’re fairly confident that it is the arthritis in her knee that’s causing the her hobble, and we were looking to see if we could find some other treatment for her joint issues without resorting to the same kinds of medication (with the same kinds of side-effects).
So we’ll be making another appointment for Nu this week to see if we can figure out what she has. It will be interesting and possibly messy getting the urine sample from her to get a proper diagnosis.
Have you ever had to collect pee from a female dog? I have. Interesting and messy is the nice way of putting it.
This past week, I was contacted by a local writer who will be publishing her first young adult fantasy novel in May. Her cover reveal is Wednesday, so I’m going to break the “weekend only” blogging rule to publish an interview with her on Tuesday. I hope that you’ll all give a warm Writerly Goodness welcome to Hally Willmott!
A life sentence with mortal punctuation will continue next weekend as well, and I’ll keep you up to date with all things writerly as I continue on my journey toward publication.
That’s it for today. Off to Mom’s for stew. Is it Mulligan? Don’t know, but it will be tasty 🙂 Kim, need you to make me some soda bread! Or share the recipe? All out of Guinness! Oh, ‘tis a sad St. Patrick’s without Guinness!
Have a happy week, everyone!
Writerly Goodness, signing off *wags*
Since the last time I blogged about my dear Nuala, we’ve had two veterinary appointments. The first was on February 14, a month after the surgery. I ferried Nu out to the Valley for her appointment with Dr. Hoscheit.
At that time, I was informed that Nu was doing well and that I could begin to walk her again. Ten minutes, twice a day to start, graduating to twenty minutes, twice a day, then thirty, then a return to full activity.
Well, since she started having her difficulties, I’d cut Nu’s activity to a single twenty minute walk in the morning. So I figured I’d just return to that activity and that we’d gradually reintroduce her to the stairs at my mom’s place, and hopping up of the bed and couch again.
We also started adding glucosamine to her food. It’s stinky (green-lipped mussel extract) and she loves it. Isn’t it funny/sad/wonderful how our pets can disappoint us so, just by being themselves?
I’ve always thought it odd that while dogs have these amazing olfactory powers, that it makes the smelly stuff more attractive (barf, poo, dead animals, unidentifiable fungus, other disgusting stuff).
It’s a dog rule, I guess. Stinky = yum! And I love Nu, even if she occasionally has poo-mouth. I just don’t let her kiss me 😛
This past week, Phil and I took our pup to her regular vet, Dr. Wilkinson. Dr. Hoscheit retired from his practice at the end of February. We were lucky to get N
u in before he left.
So post-operative blood work was ordered, the sample taken, and we decided to take Nu off the Metacam to see how she would manage. She has a lot of arthritis in her knee. A lot. So we’re going to wait and see.
So basically, life is kind of back to normal at the Marttila-Minaker household.
We’re happy to have our girl back to her usual antics.
Always Looking Up 