The next chapter: July 2026 update

August 2, 2026 / Melanie Marttila / Leave a comment

Unwinding and leaning in

Life in general

The month began with Canada Day, and I started the day by having my first lake swim of 2026. It was lovely and refreshing (the day was already frog’s ass hot when I went). I finished the day with a twilight dog walk over the Robinson boardwalk. The fireflies were out in force as were the bullfrogs with their br-rums echoing all over the marsh around me. Bliss!

As you might infer from what I’ve written so far, we’ve been in a bit of a heat wave in northeastern Ontario. It started in the last week of June and as July began, we were consistently on the 30s Celsius with the humidity making it feel like the stifling 40s.

For context, 30 degrees Celsius is 86 Fahrenheit and 40 Celsius is 104 Fahrenheit. Nighttime temperatures rarely fell below 20/68 and even with all the windows open and all the fans on, our house was stuck at a minimum 24/75 and often reached 28/82 before the end of the day. And we have no way of tracking how the humidity influenced the temperature indoors.

Yes, we have a portable AC unit for the bedroom so we can sleep, but it labours all night just to get the temperature down to 19/66, even if we set the temperature lower, just in the one room.

From here out, I’ll just be listing temperatures in degrees Celsius.

I probably could have gone swimming in June, but I was still struggling with the workforce adjustment situation at work, my caregiving responsibilities at home, and was too dysregulated to consider further, even fun, activities.

I wanted to go swimming on Saturdays thereafter, but if I slept in too long, the small parking lot would be full, and I’d have to go home, unswum. Or if it was raining with thunderstorms, I was content not to go. I was still working and there wasn’t enough time (or spoons) in any given workday to fit in a swim, though I did get out four times over the course of the month.

At work, I plugged away at projects and my new slow and steady pace. No WFA news was apparently good news.

The weather returned to seasonal for a few days, but I noticed something weird. Inside, the temperature would creep up to 27 or 28 degrees, but I didn’t feel hot. It may have been the lack of humidity, but my feet didn’t swell, either (heat edema sux, y’all). I did have to stop wearing necklaces, though, because of heat rash.

But on the 13^th, we crept back up into the danger zone. 32, felt like 42 with the humidity. The house was sealed up tight and every fan was on, but it was still 29 inside and the nighttime temperature only dropped to 24, felt like 30. Our portable AC was our saving grace.

On the 14^th, it was 36, felt like 43, and migrating forest fire smoke turned the sky orange. The temperature didn’t drop below 30 until after midnight and I only walked Torvi until she did her business. She was panting so hard, my poor little dear (for context, she is a 70 lb dog).

Thereafter, we were back in the seasonal/reasonable zone, but it took a few days to cool everything down.

On the 16^th, I received notification that my pension package had been received, and work would begin after my departure date. I called the pension centre the next morning to confirm and asked if no one would be reviewing the contents of my package for errors or missing documents. Apparently, that’s not how they do things.

So much for being proactive.

I informed my team lead and manager that I would be taking some time off starting in August. Both left on vacation (‘tis the season!) and I reached out to our acting manager (also my previous team lead) to remind her of the upcoming leave. I updated her on my projects and she (smart cookie that she is) advised me to start onboarding other team members who can see the project through to its completion in my absence.

I have a habit of doing this, I realized, leaving just as a project is nearing its conclusion. I think it’s that I, in grand autistic fashion, give my all to the projects I work on, even if I try not to, and I exhaust myself.

Lessons for the future.

Toward the end of the month, the cicadas started to sing! I find their electric song so comforting.

Phil started harvesting radishes for salads and dug up all our potatoes. Beans and cucumbers were coming in. Everything was growing nicely in the new planter boxes.

The temperature rose again and the last days of July were two very hot and sticky days.

The month finished with a doctor’s appointment on the 29^th and a 10-week sick leave, but even then, I wasn’t able to relax immediately. I was in shock.

The month in writing

I revised and submitted a story (!), worked on and submitted a review (!), then another review, and I started reframing Reality Bomb, all slowly and gently, as I had energy and time.

My review of Jaime Forsythe’s Yield was published in periodicities: a journal of poetry and poetics on the 2^nd.

Later in the month, I wrote a poem, started another. Then I wrote two more.

I’m trying to find my way back to joy, but it’s slow in coming.

Filling the well

The new oak moon in Cancer was on the 14^th.

The full raspberry moon in Aquarius was on the 29^th.

In writerly events and courses, I signed up for Tiffany Grimes’ Revision Alchemy program as a way to kickstart what I hope to be my final (for now) revision of Reality Bomb. The course is running through to the end of September. This was a referral through GoldenMay Editorial.

I registered for “Moving Beyond Three-Act Structure” with Steven James through Jane Friedman. I enjoyed James’ last webinar so much, I hoped on board this one as soon as I remembered to (!) The webinar was on the 1^st, but I opted to watch the replay. I’m really liking his approach.

Also on the 1^st was “Folkloric Felines” presented by Sara and Brittany of the Carterhaugh School. It was a fundraiser for the vet bills for Jasper. Again, I watched the replay. All kinds of catty awesome, including Finnish cat psychopomps!

Then, I signed up for “Plan a Series to Success” with Emily & Rachel of GoldenMay on the 21^st. I still have drafts of a few series knocking around, and I learned a few strategies to tackle them in revisions.

I also signed up for another Tiffany Yates Martin webinar through Jane Friedman. “Mastering Narrative Flow” was excellent, as usual.

On the personal/self-care front, my next therapy session was on the 17^th. It was good and confirmed a few things for me.

I had a doctor’s appointment on the 29^th where I received a medical note for a 10-week sick leave. Well, the office was closed for summer vacation and I’d have to send the medical form on August 4^th, call to confirm receipt, and then go into the office in the afternoon to pay for and pick up the completed note before logging into my work computer and submitting the note to the team lead on duty.

And I took Torvi to her touch-up appointment on the 18^th. Because of the heat, she’d gotten really shaggy again. They used the hand-held blow dryer to help with the defluffening. And I grabbed a couple bags of treats and a new antler for her.

What I’m watching and reading

Before I proceed, I want to mention that I’ve abandoned House of the Dragon (HBO) after watching the first episode of the latest season. I have no interest in watching dragons killing each other or getting grievously injured anymore, nor is the flawed people behaving badly/stupidly thing enjoyable to watch.

My first watch of July was finishing the first season of Scarpetta (Prime). This series is the first successful adaptation of Patricia Cornwell’s Kay Scarpetta novels, and I say successful in the sense that it made it to the screen. The series itself is a bit of a mess with a dual timeline that was more jarring than propulsive. In the past, new chief medical examiner Kay Scarpetta is set on the trail of a serial killer. In the present, she returns to the same position and the first body that she examines bears a striking resemblance to the bodies in the case that made her career. The cases, past and present, take a back seat to Scarpetta’s complicated home life, which would be exhausting to detail here. The season ends on a weird cliffhanger in which, after fighting off the present-day serial killer, Scarpetta bashes his brains out with a baseball bat, and someone comes in the door. It was … okay?

Then, I finished watching the first season of Young Sherlock Holmes (Prime). 19-year-old Sherlock is sprung from prison (for pickpocketing) by his brother Mycroft and given the unglamorous position of scout at Oxford. He befriends student James Moriarty and impresses visiting Princess Shou’an, who subsequently insists he and James investigate the missing Sun Tzu scrolls. Though he and James find the missing scrolls and save the Oxford faculty from an explosion, Sherlock is accused of the murder of a professor. While the murder blossoms into an international espionage plot, Sherlock also struggles with family trauma: a dead sister, a mother in an asylum, and an absentee father. The two plots dovetail toward the end of the season. An entertaining prequel with lots of action (Guy Ritchie, IYKYK).

Next, I continued my movie watching with Death on the Nile (Prime). Fresh off the Orient Express, Poirot is asked to solve a case in Egypt, after which he again seeks rest. At a concert, he witnesses a romantic drama. Months later, still in Cairo, he encounters his friend Bouc and is drawn into the wedding celebrations of the couple he witnessed months before. Pursued by an ex-lover, the couple move their celebrations onto a cruise ship but by the time they reach Abu-Simbel, the ex-lover has boarded the ship. That night, the newlywed wife is murdered. This one is a sad story for Poirot. He begins to fall in love, but his own foibles lead to their estrangement. Bouc is also killed, and Poirot is deprived of a grounding influence. But the mystery is exquisite and the performances are great.

Then, I watched Avatar: Fire and Ash, when it came out on Disney +. The Sullys are still living with the Metkayina, grieving the loss of their eldest son, Neteyam, none more so than Neytiri, whose hatred of the Sky People, including Spider, consumes her. Spider, as a human, depends on a breathing mask to live in Pandora, but they’re running out of power cells and have to go back to the human scientist outpost. On the way, they are attacked by the Mangkwan, a violent Na’vi clan, and the Sullys are scattered. When Spider’s mask runs out of power, Kiri uses her unique connection with Eywa to infuse Spider with mycelia, which adapt his body to Pandora. Jake’s old antagonist Quaritch teams up with the Mangkwan and kidnaps Spider. Jake tries to rescue him but is captured. The RDA’s scientists believe they can use Spider’s new biology to adapt all humans to Pandora (doom!). Meanwhile, the RDA is mounting a huge “whaling” operation coinciding with the Tulkun calving ceremony. One of the biologists objects and helps Jake and Spider escape. The Tulkun council refuse to engage in violence, even in their own defense, until Lo’ak and the outcast Payakan bring a grievously injured Ta’nok to testify before the council about the cruelty of the Sky People, and they descend to deliberate. Jake finally reaches out to Toruk and summons all the Na’vi clans to war. There is more. So. Much. More. This movie is packed with action and personal subplots, and it really is the spectacle it’s billed as. It would have been overwhelming in the theatre, though. I watch movies in 20-to-30-minute sessions these days (thank you, streaming!). And it was still a lot. The only thing that irritated me is that Jake has the exact same arc in every movie. We need some variation here, not just escalation.

Phil and I watched season two of the live-action Avatar: The Last Airbender (Netflix), not to be confused with the movie above. We enjoyed it. It was better than the first season. But the dialogue was still lacking and, at the same time, burdened with telling us everything the showrunners decided not to show us. I know adapting to live action means that different choices must be made. Every 1-hour episode felt … smaller than the original, though. The series got where it needed to go, and I’ll watch the third season. I was just a bit disappointed.

Next, I finished watching My brother, the Minotaur (Apple TV). This delightful animated series appears to have been created by the same animators as Wolf Walkers (one of my absolute fave movies) and tells the tale of Lorcan, a minotaur boy adopted by humans living on remote Bryony Island. When Lorcan hits puberty, he begins to have dreams and visions, walks in his sleep, and has trouble controlling his temper. His human brother Charlie and their two friends Harper and Dana try to help Lorcan solve the mystery of his existence. Complicating matters are fairies, a pooka, and a wealthy human developer, Craignelder and his son Wesley Jr. Celtic and Greek myths mix and mingle. Absolutely loved!

Then, I watched Enola Holmes 3 (Netflix). Enola is about to marry Tewkesbury in Malta, but before she can get to the church … slightly late, Dr. Watson flags down her carriage and tells her that her brother Sherlock has gone missing. Then, a fire at the Tewkesbury estate covers the abduction of Lady Tewkesbury. Every suspect Enola pursues is shot, but their final words allow Enola to assemble the clues to a plot involving stolen Afgan gold and Maltese independence, and, of course, Moriarty. Mrs. Holmes (now a fugitive bomber) also arrives to support Enola in her quest. Fun and sweet!

Next, I watched Project Hail Mary (Prime). I’ve been wanting to watch this since it came out in theatres. It was so worth the wait. The movie plays out in dual timelines. In the present, Ryland Grace wakes up with no memory on the spaceship Hail Mary heading for Tau Ceti and finds the corpses of his two crewmates. He struggles to figure out why he’s there. In the past, he is a disgraced scientist now working as a middle grade schoolteacher. He is recruited by Eva Stratt to study the Petrova Line which extends from the Sun to Venus. The astrophage in the Petrova Line consume the Sun’s energy for propulsion and reproduction and will eventually cause catastrophic global cooling on Earth as the sun “dies.” Back in the present, Grace encounters an alien ship from Erid, and its sole inhabitant, a rock-like, five-legged alien Grace names Rocky. Rocky’s ship was on the same mission as the Hail Mary and his crew met the same fate as Grace’s. This is an amazing buddy dramedy as Grace and Rocky work to save their respective stars and planets and each other. LOVED!

I finished watching the first two seasons of Paradise (Disney +). When the promotion came out for the first season, it was very vague, and I was uninterested. But I heard good things about the series and decided to give it a try. Spoiler warning! Sorry, but it’s that kind of show. You can’t really explain the premise without revealing the initial twist. Xavier Collins is a member of the secret service assigned to the President of the United States but by the end of the first episode, the president is murdered, Xavier is implicated, and it’s revealed that the whole drama is taking place in an underground bunker in Colorado created to house survivors of a super volcano. Over the course of the first season, the mystery of who killed the president is solved while flashbacks reveal the reason for the bunker’s creation, and the beef Xavier had with the president. In the second season, Xavier leaves the bunker in search of his wife (the forementioned presidential beef) and finds his way back to the bunker in time for disaster to strike. I’ve been as vague as I can, but if any of that interested you, I recommend watching. It’s a bit of a mind-blower!

My next movie was The Testament of Ann Lee (Disney +). This is a bit of a weird one. A musical about the woman founder of the Shaker religion. The songs are lovely and haunting and the story is compelling. Ann Lee is born in Manchester and when she sees her parents having sex, immediately associates it with sin. Later, she joins a group of “Shaking Quakers” and finds solace in their practice of group confession of sin, shouting out to God for forgiveness, and ritual self-flagellation. They also believe that the second coming will be a woman. She marries a blacksmith and suffers his desire for BDSM and oral sex, giving birth to four children who all die. When she is imprisoned for disturbing the peace in a Shaker ceremony for 14 days, she refuses to eat or drink and has visions. Sharing these with the Shakers upon her release, they declare her Mother Ann. Beautiful, but haunting.

Then, I finished watching the first season of Stranger Things: Tales from ’85 (Netflix). This animated series is set in between seasons two and three of the original series and follows the gang as they discover even more beasties from the upside down have infiltrated Hawkins. Really like the animation style and the addition of Nikki Baxter as a new but temporary member of the gang. I also appreciated how the animated series focused on the kids. Jonathan, Nancy, and Steve were infrequent guest stars, and the adults were rarer. Well done, I think.

I also watched Doolittle (Netflix). Dr. Doolittle has withdrawn from Victorian society after his beloved wife Lily dies at sea trying to find the Eden tree. Tommy, a young animal-lover in a family of hunters tries not to shoot a duck and ends up injuring a red squirrel instead. Desperate to heal the poor creature, he’s led to Doolittle’s door by Poly the parrot, who’s hoping to draw the good doctor out of his doldrums. After performing surgery on the squirrel, Doolittle ushers Tommy out and is promptly summoned to attend upon a young Queen Victoria, who is dying of nightshade poisoning. The fruit of the Eden tree is the only cure. Leaving two of his animal companions behind to watch over the queen, Doolittle embarks on his mission to save her—and Poly ensures that Tommy is aboard the ship before it departs. Fabulous fun!

Then, I watched Oppenheimer (Netflix). The performances were amazing, but the story itself was rather depressing. Oppenheimer is shown to be obsessive in his pursuits and the people around him are often hurt by his single-minded focus. His later manipulation/persecution by Louis Stauss beats him down mercilessly. A worthwhile watch, but I think I wasn’t in the right mindset to appreciate it.

I finished watching Renegade Nell (Disney +). Highwayman Isambard Tulley robs the wealthy passengers in a carriage but Nell Jackson, returning from the war in which her husband was killed, fights Tulley and his gang off with seemingly supernatural powers. Fairy Billy Blind helps Nell when she helps others, but even he doesn’t know why. Her reunion with her family is brief, however, when the son of a local magistrate escalates from harassment to murder, Nell must gather her sisters and go on the run. Fun! I would have watched a second season if Disney hadn’t cancelled it.

Next, I watched Masters of the Universe (Prime). This one was a nostalgia watch and ridiculous fun. Prince Adam is sent to Earth by the Sorceress when Skeletor attacks Eternos, the capital city of Eternia. Adam loses hold of the Sword of Power in the transit. Years later, Adam works in Human Resources and is painfully earnest and honest about his search for the Sword of Power. The women he dates think he’s crazy. It gets him into trouble at work. His roommate pities him. An anonymous text leads Adam to recover the sword at a comic store and the moment he touches it, Skeletor sends Beastman to kill Adam and recover the sword.

Finally, I watched The Devil Wears Prada 2 (Disney +). Years after the events of the first movie, Andy is an award-winning journalist who is fired along with the rest of the staff. At loose ends, she receives an offer of employment from the owner of Runway magazine after Amanda Priestly is pilloried in the media. Another nostalgic hit. Of course Andy finds a way to succeed. Of course Amanda has a way to save the magazine. Of course Emily is still the villain. Not only a great story, but also a commentary on the ravages of AI and patriarchal capitalism.

My fist July listen was … wait for it … The Demon King by Peter V. Brett. I had to finish the trilogy, y’all! Following the events of The Hidden Queen, Olive Paper and Darin Bales find themselves in a strange land across the seas. They’re on Alagai Ka’s trail. He can’t be allowed to escape again. What they find is a lost Crasian tribe, whose Deliverer perfected subjugation wards centuries before, and where human and demon live in apparent harmony. The Council of Hive agree to help Olive and Darin find their fugitive demon, but they want to subjugate him, not kill him, despite Olive’s warnings. Darin and Olive also find unexpected community. Intersex people like Olive are more common in Hive and many are among the elite of the settlement. Darin, despised son of Eaters (those who have eaten demon flesh, anathema in Hive), finds a whole underclass of Eaters and their children, all of whom share his abilities and sensitivities. When Alagai Ka makes his move and liberates the demons of Hive, Olive and Darin must rally their new friends and mount a defense before Hive, and the rest of the world, fall to the demon hoard.

Some overall thoughts on the sequel series. It’s firmly in the YA space because of its young protagonists, but the violence is on par with the original series. Brett delved into the characteristics of Olive (intersex) and Darin (ND coded) and the challenges they face because of their differences. All of this I loved. I noticed one thing that may be catering more to a YA audience, though. Every time Darin or Olive take the stage, they clearly iterate their special abilities and weaknesses. It got to be a bit irritating after a while. I don’t remember that from the The Demon Cycle, but I haven’t revisited the books to test my memory. Overall, I enjoyed the sequel series immensely. I did queue them up one after the other.

Then, I caught up on It’s Storytime with Wil Wheaton again.

Next, I listened to A Closed and Common Orbit by Becky Chambers. At the end of the first Wayfarers novel, the ship’s AI formerly known as Lovey (Lovelace) suffered a catastrophic system failure requiring a reboot. In the process, all of Lovey’s knowledge and experience and system customizations were lost. Engineer Pepper had brought Lovey a “kit” or synthetic body, which is illegal. Lovey had intended to leave the ship and pursue a life of her own, but the rebooted Lovelace has no such desire. As the crew mourn the loss of Lovey, who was family to them, Lovelace senses that it is somehow her fault. Pepper offers Lovelace the kit, and the two depart.

This novel is the intertwined story of Lovelace and Pepper. Lovelace cannot overcome her factory settings as a ship’s AI and cannot get used to living in the kit. She can’t lie and is one innocent question away from exposure. She has no feed access and only the kit’s limited senses rather than the disseminated cameras and vox and systems access she had in the ship. She has to choose a new name and lives mostly in hiding in case a slip results in Pepper’s arrest and her destruction. Pepper has her own issues and her own secrets to keep. She once had a different name and was raised by a ship’s AI she’s desperate to find again. As Lovelace’s journey toward independence progresses, Pepper’s backstory is revealed and the two stories intersect in a daring heist-slash-rescue mission. Loved!

Then, I listened to Carl’s Doomsday Scenario by Matt Dinniman. And I really recommend listening to these audiobooks. Jeff Hayes is amazing! He does ALL the voices, men and women, even Princess Donut! This novel takes place entirely on one floor of the world dungeon Carl and Princess Donut are forced to crawl through. The Borent Corporation still has its devious machinations, but the system AI has its own ideas. This time, a circus infected and altered by a fungus is out for blood, headless prostitutes rain from the sky, and quests are a thing! Mordechai is now a succubus … and drunk most of the time. Carl and Donut get to choose their race and class! Dark and absurd and full of violence, the book and series have delivered so far.

I read—yes! read—Adelle Purdham’s I Don’t Do Disability and Other Lies I’ve Told Myself. This memoir focuses on the author’s experience becoming the mother of a child with Down Syndrome. While I couldn’t relate to her experiences as a mother, memories of spending a few weeks each of several childhood summers with my second cousin Karen-Ann surfaced. She has down syndrome and was an adult at the time I stayed with her. We got along well, perhaps because of my neurodivergence, although as I got older, we stopped relating to each other so well. But it was a gift of the book that those memories surfaced. What really hit me in Purdham’s book was her struggle to find a place in her life for all the things she loves, including her writing. “I am the one pretending like I don’t know what it is I want to do,” she repeats in one later chapter. Hit me like a sledgehammer, that.

I finished reading The Haunting of Modesto O’Brien by Britt Griffin. Modesto O’Brien has come to Cobalt in pursuit of Tommy Coffin, but what he finds when he gets to town is a silver rush in full boom, claim jumping and all. Then Lily Nial hires him to find her sister, Lucy, and it turns out that the Nial sisters are the reason Tommy Coffin is in Cobalt. The stories weave together along with the supernatural. Modesto has the sight, inherited from his mam and gran. In fact, Granny Savage is with him still and whispers wisdom to him from the betwixt and the between. And she knows Lily Nial when she walks into Modesto’s office, familiar and strange and something more. The Nial sisters are tied to Modesto in more ways than one. Fabulous!

Finally, I listened to The Last Contract of Isako by Fonda Lee. Though the story is fantastic, I want to focus on the worldbuilding, of which Lee is a master. Set on a planet that has been cut off from Earth (the Silence) and is in the midst of terraforming, Daimios have become CEOs, samurai, contractors, who are also business advisors, and Bushido is simply the Code. Because they are trying to warm the planet as part of their terraforming efforts, fossil fuel production and use are encouraged. The two political parties are the Reunionists, who want to reestablish contact with Earth, and the Terraformists, who want to establish an independent and livable world. Even names are tied to Japanese tradition, with the kith, or family name coming before the given, but Kith names are based on the geographic features, plants, and animals of Old Earth. Lee even explains the planet’s calendar, which in less artful hands would be pure infodump.

Isthmus Isako is an A-tier contractor, who’s been working for her client in an exclusive contract for 12 years. When the company loses a corporate war with a competitor, Isako must deliver the termination notices. In a world of scarce resources, these terminations are literal. Isako’s client blindsides her by walking out of the atmospheric dome with the terminated employees and dying on the still-inhospitable planet in protest. The CEO of the winning company gives Isako one last contract, to prevent another competitor CEO, Sandbar Uchi, from joining the Board. When Isako learns that her last apprentice, Uchi’s A-tier, has died, the contract becomes personal. What Isako uncovers in her investigation could change humanity’s life among the stars. Wickedly twisted.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: A month in the writerly life. https://melaniemarttila.ca

I acknowledge with respect that I am in Robinson-Huron Treaty territory, that the land from which I write is the traditional territory of the Anishinaabe and home of Atikameksheng Anishnawbek and Wahnapitae First Nation.

The next chapter: April 2026 update

May 3, 2026 / Melanie Marttila / 1 Comment

The waiting game and existing in uncertainty.

A dynamic sky that looks like the ocean.

Life in general

As April started, I was deep in the well of uncertainty. Essentially, it’s where I dwell until I get the letter indicating my departure date.

But the Artemis II mission provided welcome hope and distraction. I watched the NASA livestreams every day. Just seeing these four people, including one Canadian, one woman, and one Black man, work together and express true wonder and joy in their jobs was a balm to my worn spirit.

Then, on the 7^th, Trump’s social media posted his announcement that “a whole civilization will die tonight.” The only way he could have done that was with nuclear weapons. With Trump’s increasingly erratic behaviour, no one could say for sure what he’d do.

The next day, he postponed his Armageddon by two weeks. A ceasefire was facilitated by Pakistan. But while the lists of demands on both sides were tentatively accepted, subject to negotiation, Israel’s refusal to stop attacking Lebannon threatened to put an end to both negotiations and the ceasefire.

Under pressure, Netanyahu authorized direct talks with Lebannon to disarm Hezbollah militants but insisted there was no ceasefire. The two nations have been at war since 1948.

There was a lot of back and forth — negotiations are back on, no, they’re not, the US is blockading the Strait of Hormuz — so much so that I stopped trying to keep track.

Other things happened, and I kept up with those through Heather Cox Richardson (on YouTube), to whom I’ll refer you if you want to find out more. The ceasefire was due to end May 1^st.

At work, my team lead departed and my team was left without supervision. Not really, other team leads stepped in, but it meant that I could (and was) be assigned work from multiple people at any given time. After two days of putting out fires and diverting to “side quests,” I was extra dysregulated and in need of a break.

Then, a week full of appointments and a meeting with my director to discuss whether I wanted to abandon the voluntary departure program and opt into the newly-minted early retirement incentive had me further dysregulated. But I managed as I put my workload back in order and took my time.

In the last days of April, all fires put out and mysteries solved, I got back to what was supposed to be my “A” project and things started to settle.

The month in writing

The first decision I made was to set aside work on the two short stories that have been languishing since the beginning of the year. Both stories aren’t quite “right” yet and the solutions to their respective problems haven’t emerged. I realized that this was a form of procrastination.

So, I got back to Reality Bomb because solutions to that story’s problems have been bouncing around in my head since January. It’s time to implement them.

And I hoped to catch up on a couple of reviews that I’d been sitting with. They’re both for poetry collections and I’ve felt like a bit of a fraud in that arena. I only have the one collection out myself and both collections are deep and intricate, and I worry that I won’t do them justice. I have to set those concerns aside, as well. It’s another form of procrastination.

But then, a new publishing opportunity and deadline opened up, and had to think about which story had the potential to fit the submission guidelines.

After only a few days, I lapsed into inactivity again, though. I’m still so dysregulated … I can’t even.

On April 1^st, I was River Street Writing’s first poet in their 2026 National Poetry Month promotion.

The River Street Writing National Poetry Month promo for "time and tide."

Then, on the 3^rd, Murgatroyd Monaghan posted a promo for the Neurodiverses poetry showcase.

On the 4^th, I received a set of interview questions for the Sustainability vs. Ambition blog series Nina Munteanu is doing for Reality Skimming. I set to, despite my fraud-like feelings at the prospect.

My review of A.L. Jensen’s (AKA Liisa Kovala’s) Hygge and Homicide was published in The Seaboard Review of Books on the 6^th.

The cover of Hyyge and Homicide by A.L. Jensen.

A rejection for the flash fiction piece I submitted early last month came in on the 7^th. Though I’m disappointed, I really like the story and am already thinking about other opportunities.

My publisher, Latitude 46, promoted their poetry backlist for National Poetry Month, and The Art of Floating received its promo on the 7^th. They even tied my moon poems into the Artemis II mission! Adored!

My interview with Emily Andrews for her CKLU radio show was on the 11^th. I had a lot of fun chatting with Emily. I’m looking forward to the broadcast!

Also on the 11^th, I received notification that I had not been selected for the shortlist of the contest I submitted to last month. Again, I like the story, but it’s not my typical SFF subject matter. It’s going to be a challenge to place it elsewhere.

And I participated in Neurodiverses: A National Autism/National Poetry Month showcase on the 18^th. It was a fabulous, intimate event, and I got to read some of my more recent autism poems.

Filling the well

The full sugaring moon in Libra was on the first, also April Fool’s Day, on which I was grateful to escape the bulk of jokes and pranks.

The Easter long weekend followed, and my small family eschewed a stressful celebration this year, opting instead to celebrate my sister-in-law’s birthday (April 6^th) at our favourite restaurant.

The new alder moon in Aries was on the 17^th.

And it’s the triumphant return of MOON pictures!

In writing-related events, I signed up for K.M. Weiland’s “Ego-Driven vs. Soul-Driven Character Arcs” course on the 1^st. She’s starting a new story school and because I’ve been a newsletter subscriber, I received early notification. I love what Katie’s doing with story structure and character arcs these days.

I also signed up for her next course, “The Villain as an Aspect of the Hero’s Psyche,” on the 15^th. I had the option to watch the replay. This course played into the idea of the villain being the hero’s shadow, and delved into the negative archetypal aspects of the character archetypes.

Can-Con Virtual was on the 18^th. But because of work-related dysregulation and the Neurodiverses poetry reading, I decided to catch these on replay.

And I finished the month off with The FOLD online from April 26^th to 29^th. Again, as I was working, I chose to pace myself and watch the sessions I was interested in later.

Also on the 26^th, I signed up for “How to get out of burnout and back to creating” with Gauri Yardi. This course was a referral/recommendation from Golden May. It was an excellent session, and Gauri has a lot of experience addressing burnout.

On the 28^th, I signed up for a presentation on “The Queen of Wands: Fairy Lore in the Tarot” with Sara & Brittany of the Carterhaugh School. Being a tarot fan myself, I wanted to see what they had to say about the intersection of fairytales and tarot.

Finally, Kisten Keiffer offered a mini-course called “The 7-minute Method.” It was about challenging resistance and getting back to creating.

I’m seeing a theme with all these courses. Functional burnout for the win!

I registered for intermediate Finnish through the Sudbury Finnish School. Lessons started April 13^th and will continue for eight weeks.

Because of a conflict, I selected a different night to attend my support group this month. Good Company met on the 16th and the topic was hormonal changes and menopause. It was great!

My massage therapist was injured back in January, but she informed me late last month that she was fully recovered and taking clients again. My first scheduled massage of the year was on the 22^nd. I missed her SO much! Apparently, I’ve been carrying ALL my stress in my neck (!)

I took my mom to her doctor’s appointment on the 23^rd. I’m going to accompany her to these in the future, so I can better provide for her care.

My next therapy session was on the 24^th. I lied last month. There were still two value domains to explore and we managed them in addition to my monthly brain dump.

Torvi’s monthly touch up was on the 25^th. The groomer suggested that we try a full bath again. I don’t think she knows what she’s asking for.

Finally, on the 30^th, I made an appointment with my orthodontist to have my retainer assessed. I’ve been feeling some pressure on my teeth and was concerned that maybe I’d need to have it replaced. Not so. The retainer is fine. It just needed a little adjustment, I was out of the office in 15 minutes, and there was no charge.

And then I went out to a family birthday (2-in-1) at a local restaurant. Good evening. Tasty food. Still had to recover after. Yes, even fun stuff costs spoons.

What I’m watching and reading

The first series I finished watching in April was the second season of The Artful Dodger (Disney +). At the end of the first season, Jack was arrested just as he was about to operate on Belle’s heart (!) Fortunately, he was allowed to operate, though off-screen, as the second season picks up months later, with Belle fully recovered and Jack in prison. Fagin arranges to Jack’s conditional release and immediate embroils his former apprentice in his latest scheme. But Jack isn’t the only one drawn in. Belle’s sister Fanny turns out to be a deft hand at forgery. Medically, there is a serial killer on the loose who removes their victims’ organs (of course, Jack is under suspicion), and Jack and Belle must work first to discover the cause of an outbreak of cholera, and then to find a cure for it. Though the season ends with both medical mysteries solved and Belle and Jack firmly reunited, Fagin’s desperate play to fake his own suicide has backfired on him and he comes to in his own coffin, buried alive by his crew. I assume this means a season three is in the works, though no official announcement has been made yet.

Then, I watched Wicked for Good (Prime). I have not read MacGuire’s book, nor have I seen the musical (I know). Despite that, I enjoyed the conclusion to the tale and the ultimately hopeful ending. I know it would have meant an even longer movie, but I would have appreciated seeing more of Dorothy’s journey (most of which happened off-stage or in shadow play or only looking at her back) and a bit more about Fiyero’s transformation and role in Dorothy’s adventures.

Next, I finished watching the second season of High Potential (CTV/ABC). Morgan and Karadec solve a bunch more cases, relying on Morgan’s HP intellect, Morgan and captain Wagner get close, and the search for Morgan’s missing husband Roman takes a series of increasingly dark turns. The finale blows up several relationships and leaves one life hanging in the balance. I continue to enjoy this series.

I finished watching the second season of Cross (Prime). Alex Cross is conflicted this season as he pursues Luz, a virtuous serial killer taking down the Billionaire tech-bros whose experimental treatments killed her mother and who use children as slave labour in their labs and factories. A solid second season.

Then, I watched the second season of The Pitt (HBO Max/Crave). This series has consistently been one of the best I’ve seen in recent years. It has a truly diverse cast (looking at you, Dr. King) and every character has their own arc that weaves its way through the chaos of patients in the emergency department. This season is centred around Dr. Rabinovitch (Robbie) as he prepares to leave on a three-month sabbatical/motorcycle pilgrimage once he finishes an apocryphal Fourth of July dayshift in the ED. A systems outage and the detention of one of their own by ICE officers are just the tip of the iceberg. The season centres on mental health and asking for help and finding healthy ways to deal with the stress. Superb!

Phil and I finished watching the fourth season of Invincible (Prime). This one’s a heavy season. In the first episodes, almost every enemy from past seasons returns to challenge Mark and the other heroes. Eve gets pregnant and it wreaks havoc with her powers, but before she can tell Mark, Nolan and Allan show up and recruit Mark to help them kill the remaining Viltrumites. Of course, Oliver has to go, too. And it gets bloody. In a desperate final effort, Nolan, Mark, and Thaedus burrow through the Viltrum home world and destroy it, but there are still 37 Viltrumites left alive. Mark and Oliver and even Nolan almost die multiple times. Mark, plagued by PTSD, makes a fateful deal, and Allan, who has become the leader of the Coallition after Thaedus’ death, is asked to commit genocide. A bloody, but compelling season. Looking forward to season 5!

Next, I finished season three of Shrinking (Apple TV). Everything changes this season! Alice graduates and leaves for college! Louis moves on! Paul retires and moves away! Brian and Charlie welcome their baby! Derek has a heart attack, and he and Liz apply tough love with their son. Sean gets the job of his dreams and moves out of Jimmy’s pool house. Gaby suffers a professional and personal setback and does a reverse ninja proposal! And Jimmy? He tries dating Sofi, but everything implodes when his dad comes to visit. But Paul “Jimmy’s” Jimmy at the last minute before he leaves. How will Jimmy fare now that half his support system is gone? That’s what next season is about (I think). Excellent!

Finally, I finished watching the first, short (9 episodes, not necessarily short in terms of streaming series, but most networks are still producing between 19 and 22 a season) season of RJ Decker (ABC/CTV). RJ was a photojournalist until he beat up a kid who stole his camera. The kid’s sister testifies against him and he’s sentenced to prison. Upon his release, he starts up a PI business in south Florida with the help of his ex-wife, a journalist, her wife, a cop, a fellow ex-con and bartender, and the woman who sent him to prison. The series is based on the novel Double Whammy by Carl Hiaasen and was entertaining. ABC has not decided about renewal … yet.

My first read of April was The Book of Interruptions by Khashayar “Kess” Mohammadi. These poems meet at the intersection of war, immigration, sexuality, history, and the crossroads of Perso-Islamic and Western philosophy. Like Margo Lapierre’s Ajar, it’s taking me some time to let Khashayar’s poetry find a home in me. Heady and heavy stuff.

Then, I finished listening to Popular Tales from the Norse, translated by George Webbe Dasent. All the favourites are here and, oddly, at the end, several Anansi tales are thrown in (?) I always enjoy folktales and fairy tales, regardless.

Next, I listened to the Audible Original/Great Courses collaboration Self-Care Strategies: Nourish to Flourish by Katie McDonald. In 15 lessons covering everything from work to spirituality, McDonald provides foundational practices that go beyond getting a mani and pedi at the spa. I do most of what she suggests already, and some of what she advised reminded me of the values work I’ve been engaged in with my therapist.

Then, I finished reading Freya Marske’s A Marvellous Light. Young and cash-strapped baronet Robin Blythe feels fortunate to have been assigned to a minor government post. He soon learns that he’s been named liaison to a secret magical society he never suspected existed. Edwin Courcey walks into Robin’s office expecting to find his predecessor, Reggie, and is distressed to learn he’s missing. When Robin is cursed and begins to have visions of the future, he reluctantly turns to Edwin—the only magician he knows—in an attempt to gain relief from the wracking curse and find the artefact the mysterious people who cursed him seem to want and think is in his possession. Together, they uncover a plot that threatens every magician in the British Isles. And not unexpectedly, they also uncover romantic feelings for each other, risky in this alternate Edwardian setting. Excellent!

Next, I read One Day Everyone Will Have Always Been Against This by Omar El Akkad. It’s a devastating book that indicts the systems we live within, where liberals are more likely to be centrists, or even conservatives in disguise; where genocide is a word best not spoken; where politics trumps basic human values. Between reflections on the world and how it’s changed since October 7, 2023, El Akkad recounts his own emigration, his initial belief that the west was better than the country of his birth, his development as a journalist and author, and his disillusionment beginning with the attacks of 9/11. This book is both his Dear John and a fuck you to the west and its systems of oppression. The book’s title was taken from the author’s tweet of October 25^th, 2023: “One day, when it’s safe, when there’s no personal downside to calling a thing what it is, when it’s too late to hold anyone accountable, everyone will have always been against this.”

I listened to T. Kingfisher’s Paladin’s Strength. I’d listened to the first in the series, Paladin’s Grace, last year and adored it. Istvahn is a paladin of the dead god the Saint of Steel and a berserker without divine guidance. He’s on a mission tracking the smooth men, a supernatural threat, across the continent. On the way, he meets Sister Clara, who’s on a mission of her own — to rescue her sisters, who were abducted after their convent was burned. They team up to accomplish both their goals, but Clara has a secret she’s loathe to reveal, even to the paladin she’s falling in love with. I just love, love, love T. Kingfisher’s novels!

So, of course, I listened to Paladin’s Hope next. Galen is another of the dead Saint of Steel’s paladins, now working for the Temple of the Rat. The death of the Saint left him with PTSD and night terrors in which he relives the chaos that followed his god’s death. No one can touch him when he’s trapped in his night terrors as he is deep in the battle tide and strikes out at anyone nearby. He’s come to terms with the fact that he’ll always be alone, except for his fellow paladins, who are the only people he feels safe around. Piper is a lich-doctor (read coroner) who determines the cause of death for the Rat’s lawyers and the city guard. When gnole constable Earstripe draws Piper’s attention to the latest in a series of mangled bodies washed ashore, the investigation takes all three of them into an ancient maze of deathtraps. As they struggle to survive, secrets are revealed, including the secrets of the heart.

Next, I finished reading Yield by Jaime Forsythe. This long poem dives into the experience of postpartum depression to which one has no choice but to yield. Presented against the backdrop of the Maritime coast, the metaphors are oceanic, reaching back to the amniotic fluid in which we all first learn to swim, and forward to a time when the postpartum veil is lifted. Liminality and the juxtaposition of states play out in couplets. A gorgeous collection.

Finally, I brought myself up to date with the Saint of Steel series by listening to Paladin’s Faith by T. Kingfisher. Margeurite Florain, an operative (read spy) returns after her appearance in book one of the series as Grace’s best friend. She is currently being hunted by her former employer, the Red Sail, and comes to the Temple of the Rat for help. Bishop Beartongue provides her with two paladins, Shane and Wren, to support her mission of finding an artificer who has made a machine that will extract salt from seawater, breaking the monopoly the Red Sail has on the market.

Shane trained for years to become a paladin of the Dreaming God, but he was never chosen. When the battle tide took him, Shane became a paladin of the Saint of Steel, but when that god died (or was he murdered?) it left a hole in Shane’s soul he’s been desperately trying to fill with good deeds since. He’d willingly die to protect Margeurite. It’s what he’s for, after all. Wren is short and doesn’t look like a paladin at all. Her preferred weapon is an axe. The three of them head to the Court of Smoke and then fall prey to an odd demonic cult in their quest to find the artificer and bring her safely back to the Rat. These books are so fun to read. Just my speed, these days.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: December 2025 update and year-end review

January 4, 2026 / Melanie Marttila

Hi-ho, hi-ho …

Life in general

I returned to work on December 1^st, after a five-week leave. And discovered things were pretty much as I’d left them. Yes, the training for trainers had taken place and everyone was impressed with my reworking and additions to the Nation Learning Roadmap courses for facilitators. Yes, the pilot had taken place and was a little bit of chaos.

But now we had another slate of recommended changes to be made by the 19^th.

I got back to the grind.

Come the 19^th, there were still outstanding courses and modules left to be received from the content writers (or rewriters in this case) but I turned on my out of office notification and logged out of my work computer determined not to think about work for the next nine days.

On the 4^th, I received an email advising that I was eligible for the Early Retirement Initiative, which was part of the recently-passed budget. Immediately, I went into panic mode. WHAT DID THIS MEAN?! I called my team lead, who’d received the same email. We discussed. Then I did the smart thing and contacted my sister-in-law, who’d been looking into the situation for months.

TL;DR: Hold steady. This is just the first volley of the employer trying to get people to leave without availing themselves of the workforce adjustment provisions in our collective agreement.

I later learned that 60,000 emails had been sent in the hope of getting 40,000 employees to opt in. Another article released in Quebec, perpetuated the rumour that the return to 5 days in the office would start in 2026.

Still later, the news and the union started to report that job cuts would begin in the new year. Management indicated that they had no information to report, but they were committed to transparency.

On the 7^th, I slipped and fell while walking Torvi (a combination of unplowed sidewalk and a dancing dog) and sprained the middle finger on my right hand (fuck!). It was purple, swollen, and had limited mobility for the first few days. And boy, did I learn how much I use my right hand to grip, lift, and carry things. A friend suggested that maybe I’d broken it, but I could still move it and didn’t think so.

A picture of a sprained, or possibly broken finger.

Typing wasn’t an issue (thank goodness), but the accident really made me aware of my body, or at least my hand, in a way I hadn’t been for ages.

By the end of the first week, the bruising had worked its way through black to brown to yellow, though it was still painful and swollen. I finally checked Dr. Google, and it is possible that I’ve broken the finger. If I have, it’s a stable fracture (no deformation) and the only thing that might have been done was to splint the finger or buddy-bind it with another finger. Movement would probably still have been advised as a form of physiotherapy. I honestly didn’t think I needed to go to the clinic, though. I would have been waiting for hours in a room with a bunch of people with seasonal viruses I don’t need to catch.

I was still treating my seasonal sinus thing. Once the snow stayed, the allergic triggers shouldn’t have been an issue. At one point, I was feeling well enough to try going without the Ryaltris, but within a few hours, a headache set in, followed by chunks of bloody mucus in my blowings, so I resumed.

It soon became apparent that the bloody snot would continue, regardless. I chalked it up to the dry winter air, inside and out, and let my immune system deal with it as it would with neti-pot and supplemental (Emergen-C and Cold FX) support.

I also deduced that the continued use of the Ryaltris when I no longer needed it may have made my nasal tissues more sensitive. Whatever the cause, the bloody snots slowed down after a couple of days.

Also still dealing with the dregs of the eczema. Though it’s no longer itchy or swollen, eczema’s not really gone until the discoloured, leathery skin returns to normal.

I got the notification on the 9^th that I was not selected for the intake unit. There may be opportunities in the future, as I was advised that they may rotate people through the unit.

Which made the Power BI course I took from the 8^th to the 11^th less relevant/urgent. It’s still an asset, but I might have been able to use the 3 hours of class a day in a more productive manner. Productivity matters at work. A year and ten months until pre-retirement leave. Three years and ten months until retirement. Unless I’m surplussed, and then workforce adjustment provisions should compensate me appropriately.

Then, my team lead advised that, while we still had to fulfill our commitment to the current (albatross) project, we would be the design team attached to the intake unit and would handle any learning materials that did not already have a design team committed to the subject matter. This meant that we would be doing several different short-term projects in the new year.

I was looking forward but still dwelling in the uncertainty of potential lay offs. As a unilingual English employee within five years of retirement, I’ll probably be one of the first to go … after the term employees.

But I was grateful to have the week of Christmas off. After only 3 weeks of work, I needed another break.

The month in writing

After finishing the last cutting pass last month, I took a break from Reality Bomb and let the project simmer in the back of my mind. I’m already mulling over ideas for how to rewrite the first chapter and further tweak the draft.

In the meantime, I’ve turned my attention to working on a couple of short stories for future submissions as well as some poetry.

While I was at my latest appointment with my therapist, I articulated a decision I hadn’t even known I was contemplating. I’m going to put off the cleaning/reorganizing of my office until I have RB in the query pipeline. I’ll have the headspace/spoons to dedicate some time to it without having to worry about a creative project.

Yes, I’ll then have to get back to working on my next creative project, but I figure I can take a week or two to deal with my environment and dive back in refreshed and feeling like I’ve accomplished something. Until then, I’ll just do a few small things. There’s already more candle glass to clean up, more essential oil bottles to clean, plants to repot, a bulletin board and white board I haven’t been using to take down and store, that kind of thing.

On the 4^th, Frances Boyle’s lovely review of The Art of Floating was published in ARC Poetry Magazine online. I’m so grateful that my debut collection is still getting attention more than a year out from publication.

I took part in the open mic reading at the Latitude 46 stop in the Downtown Sudbury Art Crawl on the 6^th. Had a lovely afternoon chatting with writerly friends.

On the 12^th, the revised cover of Super Canucks was released. Apparently, there were problems with the original.

The SF Canada annual general meeting was on the 14^th. And it went swimmingly! We have a complete board, internal auditors, and a few ideas for the coming year!

The year in review

In 2024, I started out in the usual fashion, establishing which projects I would work on and word count goals to achieve, and entering everything into my Excel tracker, but something happened early in the year that made me change course. I realized that having these goals was stressing me out. Because of my uneven productivity, I wouldn’t always (or even often) meet these arbitrary goals and every time I missed one, I’d get distressed.

So, in 2025, I just put in the projects I hoped to work on, but no word count goals. Accordingly, my Excel has become a true tracker of my progress, and I can use the totals page at the end to show me what I accomplished rather than flog myself with all the goals I missed in the year.

It’s been a great boost for my mental health.

A screenshot of my writing and revision totals for 2025.

Here’s how the year broke down:

I wrote 58,075 words. 7,549 of them in creative non-fiction. Mostly these were my book reviews, but there was also a CNF flash piece that I wrote and submitted. The remaining 50,510 words were my newsletters/blog posts.

I revised -7,620 words, subtracting 7,301 words from Reality Bomb and the remaining 319 from a couple of short stories I was revising.

I reviewed my annual writing totals since I started using the tracking Excel. In general terms, from 2014 to 2020, I wrote between 150,000 and 300,000 words a year. In 2021, the year I suffered a crisis of creative confidence and obtained my autism diagnosis, my annual writing total was 68,000 words.

That was the first crack in my writerly façade, and the first year of my latest burnout. In 2022, I felt I had recovered, and my total went up to 100,000 words, but it’s clear that was unsustainable. Since then, I’ve written between 45,000 and 60,000 words a year, most of them on my blog/newsletters. But my focus has also shifted from drafting to revision, with regard to my novels and short fiction.

My word for 2026 is balance. I need to find the balance between creative production and rest and work. My autistic brain needs it.

In terms of reading (paper, e-book, and audiobook), I read 97 books this year! I’d actually set my goal low, at 60 books, raised it twice, and still read more than my goal.

A note about my reading habits. Because I work, I’ve structured my reading time around my lunch and breaks, and I usually have 6 books on the go at any given time. A paper book, a kindle e-book, a Kobo e-book, a pdf e-book (usually a review book these days), another book that could be a reread, and therefore paper, or research, and likely a library e-book loan, and an audiobook that I listen to while I walk Torvi and do random tasks.

This is why I appear to be a fast reader, but am, in fact a very slow reader. Sure, I go through audiobooks at a rapid pace, but reading a paper or e-book takes time. Sometimes a lot of time. This is low-key distressing, because in my youth, I used to read very rapidly. A book a day sometimes. I can’t do that anymore in middle age.

Also, I’ve tried to continue reading when I’m not working but find it’s difficult to fit reading in when I don’t have a designated break or lunch within which to read. I’ll have to figure out a system by the time I retire but, for now, it’s easier to read in short bursts while I’m working than when I’m off.

This year has not been a productive one. Because I’ve been struggling with burnout, I haven’t produced a lot. I only have one publication this year (aside from reviews) and that is a very short poem, “Pocket Dimension,” that was published in Polar Starlight 17 in February.

Still, I’m going to submit it for consideration for the Aurora Awards and to Year’s Best Canadian Fantasy and Science Fiction, Volume 4 for consideration. I had hoped that Super Canucks, and therefore my story “Old Crow,” would have been published in 2025, but due to various factors, it could not be added to Latitude 46’s 2025 release schedule.

With my publications over the past few years (at least one story and several poems) it’s felt weird to have a “fallow year.” But I recognize that I must be gentle with myself. If I push and try to produce while my brain is giving “hard no” vibes, it’s not going to do me or my creative work any favours.

Filling the well

The full freezing moon in Gemini was on the 4^th. Though it was a sunny day, it was dark by the time the moon rose.

A picture of the three quarter waning moon.

The new reed moon in Sagittarius was on the 19^th. It was raining and melty, which was a bit of a downer at this time of year.

And winter arrived on the 21^st with the solstice. After this, the light slowly began to return.

The final class of Unmasking through our writing with Muratroyd Monaghan was on the 4^th. It was a great course, and I would highly recommend it to any ND authors. She’ll be offering it again in 2026. Stay on the look out. The organizer is Off Topic Publishing.

I finished the Christmassing on the 11^th! I’ve been a little slower this year than in the last couple getting the tree and decorations up.

My next therapy appointment was on the 15^th. We chatted about my plans for the holidays and when I outlined my week ahead (three appointments during the week while working, hair appointment and Mom’s birthday dinner on the 20^th, and a cookie exchange on the 21^st), she asked me how I felt about that. In the moment, I’d said that I was trying to spread things out and that the appointments during the week were focused on self-care. Once my very busy week had passed, though, I realized that I hadn’t done myself any favours. I think she was trying to cue me to the fact that I was doing too much. In retrospect, I agree, but hindsight is always clearer, especially when you have trouble living in the moment.

I had another glorious massage on the 17^th.

Also on the 17^th was my support group meeting. The topic this month was family. Good preparation for the holiday season. This time around, I was the odd one out, having a small family and no real family conflicts at this time of the year.

Torvi got her regular touch-up on the 19^th.

On the 20^th, I took my mom out for a pre-holiday trim and then Phil and I took her out to her favourite restaurant to celebrate her birthday.

My sister-in-law hosted a cookie exchange on the 21^st. It started at 1 and Mom and I left at 3:30. It was a very social afternoon with mimosas to start, a buffet-style assortment of finger foods and appetizers, and, of course, cookies.

One thing I realized after the fact, as I was recovering from my “social hangover,” was that these kinds of events are not my cuppa. Too loud, too many people talking all at once. I’ll probably go again, but I may have more of a strategy around it. Prep for a few days before (and clear the decks of all other obligations, appointments, etc., if possible) and make sure I have time and space after to recover.

We celebrated Christmas on Boxing Day, to allow my sister-in-law and mom-in-law to attend their in-law celebrations on Christmas Day. It was a nice, family-focused evening, but stormy weather added to the stress of travelling (even a relatively short distance), and I found myself in recovery mode again, following.

Finally, friends from out of town visited on the 27^th. Unfortunately, because my brain was mush, I wasn’t a particularly good host, but I enjoyed the evening.

What I’m watching and reading

The first series I finished watching in December was the full run of Inu Yasha (Netflix). It’s taken years, y’all! I used to watch episodes on YTV … way back, and when I saw that the whole series was available, I started a rewatch. This is another comfort watch for me. The whole series is too involved to get into any detail. Suffice it to say that Kagome falls through the Well of Bones back in time to feudal-era Japan, where she teams up with a half-dog-demon (Inu Yasha), a fox demon pup (Shippo), a lecherous monk (Miroku), and a demon hunter (Sango) to collect the scattered shards of the Shikon jewel before the half-demon Naraku (with whom everyone has beef) can. There are lots of recurring secondary characters that are as interesting as the main cast. Very fun. All the nostalgic.

Then, I watched Wake Up, Dead Man (Netflix). Rian Johnson’s latest Benoit Blanc mystery is engaging, amusing, and all kinds of awesome. Father Jud, a former boxer from New York, is assigned to the rural parish of Our Lady of Perpetual Fortitude after he punches a deacon. Even the bishop agrees that the deacon was a jerk, but it’s probably a good idea for Jud to get out of the city for a while. Father Jud is immediately at odds with Monsignor Wicks, the parish priest who insists on the title of monsignor. Wicks has driven away almost all his parishioners with his condemning sermons. On Good Friday, Wicks retreats into a closet to “recover” from his homily, and Jud takes over the service only to hear a clatter from the closet. Opening the door, Jud finds Wicks face down and stabbed in the back. Jud is the prime suspect, for reasons (watch the movie, people!).

The ultimate locked room mystery causes the local police to call in the renowned Benoit Blanc, who is as over-the-top and overconfident as ever, to solve the murder. Great performances from a stellar cast, and a twist that will have viewers wondering whether Benoit Blanc has at last met his match. Loved!

After I finished the latest season of Only Murders in the Building last month, Disney + recommended the Only Murders in the Building Official Podcast. It was apparently intended to be viewed as the new episodes were released, but I found the behind-the scenes interviews with the cast, writers, and showrunner interesting and entertaining.

Next, I finished watching The Bad Guys series and seasonal specials (Netflix). I started with Haunted Heist, moved through the Breaking In series, and finished with A Very Bad Holiday. These are all prequels to the first movie and lead up to the Bad Guys becoming the less-Bad Guys – Lol! Mostly, the series focuses on the gang trying to make the list of the baddest of the bad. And failing. But they each have their own journeys preparing them for the first movie switch.

Then, on the recommendation of Friendly Space Ninja, I checked out Kill Boksoon (Netflix). This is a dubbed Korean movie that’s basically John Wick with a single mother as the protagonist and no dead puppies.

Gil Bok-soon is a professional assassin working for the MK company. She has this skill, much like Holmes in Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes movies, where she runs through the possible outcomes of her actions before she decides what to do. Bok-soon tries to be a good mother and protect her daughter, Jae-yeong, from the dark life she leads. She considers leaving the business, but when Jae-yeong stabs a fellow student in the neck (not fatally) and is under threat of expulsion, MK’s director convinces her to take on another contract, or show. In the middle of Bok-soon’s show, Jae-yeong calls her to confess why she stabbed her fellow student and Bok-soon decides not to complete the contract. Things devolve from there, forcing Bok-soon to kill her way free of MK’s current management. A little slower than John Wick, but the fight scenes are excellent, and the story is more compelling.

I watched the first season of The Mighty Nein (Prime). I tried to get Phil interested, but he wasn’t as keen on this Critical Role offering as he was on The Legend of Vox Machina. Most of the season was about the group coming together while the Trent Ikithon stole the Beacon from the Kryn Dynasty. The two storylines are brought together when the Gentleman hires the Mighty Nein to steal the Beacon from Trent. I enjoyed it quite a bit.

Because I’d enjoyed the first The Bad Guys movie, series, and seasonal specials, I decided to watch The Bad Guys 2 on Prime. Picking up after the events of the first movie, the Bad Guys are having a rough go trying to find work with criminal records. After serving their time, they’ve gone straight, but no one is willing to give them a chance. They try to prove themselves by bringing in the Phantom Bandit. Instead, the Phantom Bandit blackmails them into performing one last heist. She has footage that identifies Diane Foxington, now governor, as the Crimson Paw and will release it, ruining Diane’s career, unless the Bad Guys comply. All sorts of call backs and shout outs to various movies and series. It’s a lot of fun.

Then, I saw Hazbin Hotel Live on Broadway was out on Prime (!) and had to watch it. Like the OMitB podcast, it was intended to be viewed before the second season aired. Regardless, it was a beautiful fan-fest with cosplayers and musical performances of songs from the series. I may have to get the soundtrack.

I finished watching season 4 of The Witcher (Netflix). Liam Hemsworth makes a nearly seamless new Geralt (I feel I should not be surprised, but I was). Ciri has relinquished her powers and taken the name of Falka, joining The Rats, a gang of thieves. Thinking that Ciri is in Niflgard, Geralt, Jaskier, and Milva fight their way there. Yennefer gathers the remaining sorcerers and initiates in an attempt to defeat Vilgefortz. The end of the season sees Ciri in the hands of Bonhart, a witcher-killer, Geralt sworn to Queen Neve’s service, and Yennefer off to confront Vilgefortz alone.

Finally, on December 31^st, Phil and I watched the finale of Stranger Things (Netflix). The Duffer brothers managed to bring everything around to a satisfying close. Hawkins is occupied by the military and “rockin’” Robin and Steve take over the local radio station to keep the residents informed and secretly organize Hopper’s “crawls” in the upside down in search of Vecna while El trains to confront him. Then Holly Wheeler is abducted and Vecna’s plot is slowly uncovered. I won’t get into the rest of the season, because it is a worthwhile watch, if you’ve been following the series. Mind you, if you’re a fan, or just a completionist, you’ve probably already seen it.

Yes, there are a fair number of pivotal events that happen off screen. Yes, there are plot holes and unresolved plotlines. But it’s an entertaining and dynamic season of an entertaining and dynamic series with much nostalgia and 80s fan service. The ending is bittersweet, with the older gang members reminiscing and making plans to keep in touch, Hopper proposing to Joyce, and Mike’s post-D&D storytelling making hopeful, if fictional, sense of everything. It was also nice to see the next generation of gamers taking over the table.

My first listen of the month was another Great Courses/Audible original collaboration, Witchcraft in the Western Tradition by Jennifer McNabb. From the witch hunts of early 15^th century Europe through the “satanic panic” of the 80s to the current moment of neo-paganism, McNabb examines not only what happened, but the causes and the sometimes-surprising results of witch hunts through the ages.

Then, I listened to Mistletoe Murders 4 by Ken Cupris. Mild spoilers for MM3 if you haven’t listened yet. After finding the body of her former lover and fellow agent under her Christmas tree, Emily Lane is forced into hiding for 11 months with only a voicemail to Sam, the police officer she’s falling in love with. When she returns to Fletcher’s Grove, the entire town is undergoing a facelift, Sam has a new girlfriend, and Sam’s daughter Violet has left for college. Everything’s changed, except murder. This edition features three new mysteries for Emily to solve. Fun, cozy, and just the thing to put you in the mood for the holidays.

My next listen was Grimm’s Fairy Stories, translated by Margaret Hunt. These are all the traditional tales, Little Snow White, Thumbling and Tom Thumb, Brian Rose, Cinderella, Little Red Cap (with alternate ending), The Frog Prince (which is more bizarre than I remember), and more. 25 tales that will give you all the background on the Disney princesses you’ll ever want. Just kidding. A classic.

I also listened to The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett. Yes, another classic I hadn’t read! I loved this gentle fable about the power of nature to heal. When Mary is the only survivor of a cholera outbreak that sweeps her home in India, she is sent to live at her uncle’s house in Yorkshire. She arrives a thin, jaundiced girl with a sour disposition, having only ever been waited on hand and foot by Indian servants while her parents lived their lives as if she didn’t exist. Her uncle, Archibald Craven, is often away and his housekeeper meets Mary at the train. In her first days, she’s told the tragic tale of how her uncle’s wife fell out of a tree in her favourite garden and died, prompting her uncle to lock the garden and bury the key. She soon becomes obsessed with finding the secret garden. It’s absolutely lovely and I really enjoyed the authentic Yorkshire spoken by the narrator. It added so much to the tale.

Then, I read Incantations by N. (Nicole) Milanne, the first self-published book in her projected Jeannie’s Bottle series. This sweet middle-grade tale follows 12-year-old Jeannie, whose mother Clara, disappeared and is presumed dead. After her father’s dental practice fails, Jeannie, her dad, and her little brother move to Shallow Cove to live with Aunt Marid (in Islamic tradition, a marid is a demon like an ifrit), whose vegan cuisine Jeannie considers a trial. At her new school, Jeannie makes friends with UFO-obsessed Rita but is also harassed by “Glam Girl” Leah, and her English teacher, Mr. Queue, gives her the creeps. While helping at Aunt Marid’s second-hand shop, Mr. Queue shows up with a box of donations and Jeannie finds a brass bottle inside, which she promptly takes when it begins to glow.

Later, when she deciphers the inscription and recites it, Anpudru (Dru) the jinn emerges from the bottle. Bound to the bottle, Dru must obey many rules, like speaking in awkward forced rhyme. He can also grant Jeannie one wish per day. Jeannie’s first wish? That Leah can’t talk anymore. That goes about as well as you might expect. The story follows Jeannie as she learns to use her wishes more responsibly, while trying to solve the mystery of why Mr. Queue seems to have an interest in her. The crisis culminates on Halloween night under a blood moon lunar eclipse, and Jeannie learns who Mr. Queue really is.

I finally finished my reread of C.S. Lewis’ The Horse and His Boy. As lovely as I remember. One of my foundational series that got me into writing fantasy.

Next, I listened to Mur Lafferty’s Station Eternity, the first in her Midsolar Murders series. Mallory Viridian seems to attract murders wherever she goes, and she only failed to solve the first few — including the murder of her mother — because she was too young to put the pieces together. But as she grows up, her talent only seems to put her on the list of suspects, and the authorities actively block her from becoming a police officer or private detective. She can’t go to school or hold down a job because if she’s around people, they eventually get murdered. Stuck volunteering at an animal shelter and writing novels about the mysteries she solves to earn a living, Mallory eventually witnesses one murder too many and appeals to the alien-only sentient space station Eternity. If she can live someplace where there aren’t humans around, maybe she won’t be responsible for any further death. Unfortunately, Eternity subsequently accepts human tourists and before they even arrive, another murder — that of Eternity’s alien symbiont, or host — throws Eternity into chaos and threatens the life of every sentient species aboard. Can Mallory solve the murder before Eternity self-destructs? Awesome in every way. LOVED!

I loved it so much, in fact, that I immediately started in on the next audiobook in the series, Chaos Terminal. Mild spoilers for Station Eternity follow. Mrs. Brown, Eternity’s new human host, must travel to Eternity’s home world to learn how to be a proper host to a sentient space station. She takes Eternity’s daughter, the shuttle Infinity, depriving Xan, a former soldier claiming sanctuary on Eternity, of both his living quarters and his symbiotic partner. She also leaves Mallory in charge because of her symbiotic bond with the wasp-like sundry, who maintain Eternity’s systems. Eternity herself will be dormant for the duration of her host’s absence.

When another shuttle from Earth arrives with the new human ambassador, Mallory is completely blindsided to find the other passengers include the SBI agent who claimed the credit for all of Mallory’s solved murders on Earth, Mallory’s best friend from high school, now a quantum physicist, and her brother, Mallory’s high school crush — who, until the moment she saw him again, she had completely forgotten existed (!) Of course, murder follows on the heels of the shuttle’s arrival, and Mallory must try to solve the murder on a dormant station. Worse, she discovers bodies of hundreds of sundry and loses her connection to their hive mind, the very connection that allowed her to solve murders in the first place. How will she solve the murder during all this chaos? Another amazing listen.

So, of course, I headed right into book three of the Midsolar Murders, Infinite Archive. For a few months, Mallory is blissfully murder-free, but her time is taken up with raising the sentient ship Moebius and trying to reconnect with the sundry hive mind. She’s so absorbed in these tasks that she misses a visit from Queen Tina and Ferdinand, her nice (a rock-like alien species, not the adjective) friends from Bezoar … and a bunch of messages from her agent telling her that he’s coming to Eternity on a murder mystery convention on a giant, one-of-a-kind sentient ship called Metis and wants to talk about her next novel and, oh, and by the way he’s signed her up to be the keynote speaker and participate in a murder mystery LARP. By the time Xan prompts her to check her messages, Metis is already in transit. Never having delivered a keynote, Mallory panics and then enters research mode. When she meets with her agent, he wants her to write a cozy mystery instead of waiting for the next murder to happen, causing her to spin out further.

Then Tina returns with a “new friend,” an unknown alien, from Bezoar, and Moebius goes missing, and Mallory’s agent turns up dead in the ladies restroom where his newest author has also been assaulted, and Metis, who contains a copy of the entire internet in pocket dimensions, starts to malfunction, and things get more chaotic from there. An interesting commentary on the writing life, the publishing industry, and fan fiction. Wild but fun. I hope she continues the series.

I’ve listened to Mur’s podcast, I Should be Writing, for years, and she did a lot of research to learn how to write a mystery, like studying Agatha Christie’s entire oeuvre.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: November 2025 update

December 7, 2025 / Melanie Marttila

Rebooting …

Life in general

What follows may seem like a middle-aged white woman whinging about first world problems, but, you know, I’m learning to listen to my body and honour what it’s telling me. Even small disruptions can dysregulate me, and I hope that sharing my experience will help one of my neurokin validate theirs.

Life isn’t always one crisis after another, even if the world in general seems to be burning down around us.

Now that my travel and writerly events over the last couple of months were over, November started with the return to standard time, which messes me up for a couple of weeks (at least). This happens regardless of whether we “gain” or “lose” an hour.

Occasionally, some politician talks about eliminating the time change, but the various governments and powers that be can never agree on whether to stick with standard time or daylight saving time, and the agreement of one government depends upon the agreement of all the others. So, Ontario won’t repeal DST unless Quebec and the States with which it trades also agree. If one state or province refuses, the proposition is dead.

And now, with Canada’s provincial trade barriers potentially coming down, there may be more domestic players to take into consideration. Even though Saskatchewan has never been on DST. It is to sigh.

Though I’d been using a neti-pot twice a day throughout the year and started taking Ryaltris (also twice a day) since the beginning of September, it became clear in the early days of November that I would be sick for at least part of my month off. I increased the frequency of Cold FX and Emergen-C, planning for the worst but hoping for better.

On the 3^rd, I received an invitation to interview for the new Intake Team our directorate was creating on the 7^th. It was only a half hour, but I did my best, geeking out about learning and development and my passion to align with the new vision for our department. They said they wanted to make decisions fairly quickly, but as of the end of November, I still hadn’t heard.

Nor had I heard whether I would be one of the many employees to be cut, as per the recently passed budget.

Living on tenterhooks about both situations.

No sooner had I started to recover from the time change than I had my double vaccination of flu and COVID shots. Look, I don’t plan these things, and I think it would be difficult to try to predict my reaction to any given set of vaccinations. They change formulation for both every year. Vaccinations were a thing on my to-do list, and I made the earliest convenient appointment the pharmacy had. It just turned out it was on the 12^th.

Besides, other than a day or so of soreness, I’d never had a bad reaction in the past.

Folks, I’ve never had such a bad reaction. This year’s Moderna resulted in two days of Advil-surpassing pain and feeling like utter crap. And, of course, my sinuses ramped up toward infection with the tell-tale post-blow squeal, headaches, and — joy — cough.

I didn’t recover from the soreness and general feeling like crap until the following weekend, though the sinus symptoms persisted throughout the month.

For most of November, daytime temperatures were above zero degrees Celsius, so the various dustings of snow we received melted the next day or were washed away by rain. On the 29^th, however, the daytime temperature remained below zero and so the snow stayed. The dusting we received on the 29^th wasn’t impressive, but the snow that followed on the 30^th required Phil to use the snow blower. And the city ploughs emerged, though they didn’t touch the side streets.

Wonderful things: In the last days of November, I remembered my dreams for almost a week! Nothing story-generating, but weird and fun, nonetheless. And I got a non-dream, super-cool idea for The Fenwoman’s Tale that will make the story SO much better. When I get back to it.

The month in writing

The early days of November were a mess.

Even though I returned from the Writing on the Rocks retreat inspired and ready to devote some time to my writing … I didn’t … (?)

Instead, for some reason, my ND brain decided to start cleaning/reorganizing my office (!) I cleaned out all the candle glass (i.e. the containers candles come in) that had been sitting around my office for a year +, cleaned all the essential oil bottles that had been sitting around for at least as long, cleaned almost all of the glass (hurricane lamps, bowls, jars, etc.) in my office (I always find 1 or two containers I forgot afterward), and removed the prisms from their suction cups in my window and strung them up on a ribbon. I also cut back one of my 2 pothos plants because it was losing leaves at a rapid rate, a sure sign it was pot bound.

My assembly of suncatchers, crystals, and wind chimes.

And then, I realized I was prioritizing the wrong things and returned to writing tasks. This was, in part, why I was late posting about Can-Con, the retreat, and didn’t publish my last update/newsletter until mid-November.

After I took care of those writerly tasks, I finished an overdue review and got back to cutting Reality Bomb down to size.

All of this in the middle of major dysregulation due to the time change and double vaccination and sinusitis. Yay, brain!

By the 23^rd, I finished my second cutting pass. The total word counts currently stands at 115,661. I only managed to cut 2,345 words. But progress is progress.

Then, I returned my attention to my office clean up.

Which … I did not do.

My body and brain demanded REST and I had to obey. I did pull up a couple of older short stories and started to rework them. And I was mulling the next round of RB cuts, including a rewrite of the first chapter, in the back of my mind.

My review of Like Water for Weary Souls by Liisa Kovala came out in The Seaboard Review of Books on the 12^th.

The cover of Like Water for Weary Souls.

My review of Mona Awad’s We Love You, Bunny was released into the wild by The Seaboard Review of Books on the 19^th.

The final SF Canada board meeting of the year (before our AGM) was on the 24^th. We’re a friendly bunch and everything was decided fairly quickly. We’re a go for a December 14^th AGM.

Filling the well

The full freezing moon in Taurus was on the 5^th. It was a rainy day.

I think I’ve finally figured out how to take a good moon photo with my phone! At maximum zoom, this weird grid appears in the corner, and when you focus on the moon, the surrounding sky darkens. When you take the picture, the sky turns black, and the details of the moon come out. Some new feature on my phone. Yay!

After the full, the days alternated. One overcast and possibly raining, the next blue skies filled with sky floof that obscured the waning moon, wherever she was.

The new ivy moon in Scorpio was on the 20^th.

After the new, the sky was consistently cloudy. Also, we were entering the dark times, and my second dog walk of the day was inevitably after sunset.

I attended the virtual launch of The Pollination Field by Kim Fahner on the 5^th. It was a great event co-hosted by Alice Major. Great conversation, great questions, and great poetry. I’m looking forward to the in-person launch in the spring!

Unmasking through our writing with Murgatroyd Monaghan continued Thursday afternoons through November. It’s been a fabulous journey of self-discovery and affirmation. I would highly recommend it to any ND creative folk who want to create/define a process unique to them.

On the 8^th, I attended Books Today: Creativity, Monetization, and the Publishing World with Andrea J. Lee, Sam Hiyate, and Katie Curtin. Interesting, although it ended up being a sales pitch for a course they were offering.

I attended the in-person book launch of Liisa Kovala’s Like Water for Weary Souls on the 9^th. I had a little trouble getting where I needed to go because there was construction at the 2^nd Avenue entrance to Finlandia Koti, and I hadn’t been there since my great aunt was a resident … a long time ago. After being ranted at and threatened by the site foreman (I assumed) he finally told me where I needed to go, and it turns out I arrived just at the interview and reading were getting underway. I love Liisa’s book and wanted to support her. She and Emily De Angelis had a great conversation, and I got to chat with a few friends at the reception. Kahvi oli vahvaa, ja pulla oli hyvää!

The Clarion West workshop Revision: Turning Writing into Art Using Craft Analyses & the Reverse Outline with Naseem Jamnia took place on the 13^th and the 20^th. It was a great session, combining reading like an author with the reverse outline (outlining after first draft completion). Very in my wheelhouse as I tend to be a discovery writer (or pantser) no matter how I try to outline.

I enjoyed a lovely visit with friends from out of town on the 8^th. Our visits always tend to feel short, given we have so much to catch up on, but we had a great time.

I skipped my support group meeting on the 26^th to attend my mother-in-law’s birthday party at a local restaurant. Fabulous food and family festivity! Of course, I had to REST afterward.

My leave with income averaging continued through to the 28^th. I didn’t accomplish much aside from relaxing and resetting.

I had my semi-annual (soon to be tri-annual) dentist’s appointment on the 4^th. My insurance finally approved additional “units” of descaling for me after years of my dentist’s office applying for additional coverage. So now, I have a better chance of staying on top of the staining my teeth are prone to.

On the 10^th, I had my next session with my therapist. Mostly, it was decompressing about the month past, but we’re going to get back to values next time.

On the 12^th, I got my flu and COVID shots. I already told you how that went.

What I’m watching and reading

The first series I finished watching in November was a comfort rewatch of Gargoyles (Disney +). This series was a favourite, and the animation was done by Nelvana, a Canadian company. I watched the whole series when it originally aired (1994 -7). I appreciated the multiple mythologies used to develop the series, and I fell in love with Goliath (I’m definitely not ashamed to say). Keith David has the most amazing voice.

I’ll refer you to the Wikipedia entry, so you can think about whether you’d like to go down the Gargoyles rabbit hole.

I had no idea that Diane Duane and Peter Morwood were on the writing staff in season 2! Now I love the series even more.

Then, I watched the first season of Alien Earth (Disney +). Having finished another Noah Hawley series (Legion) not long ago, I was prepared for some weirdness. Overall, I enjoyed the series, but there are a lot of unanswered questions. FX hasn’t greenlit a second season yet, but Hawley has said that the series is intended to be 5 seasons. It’s supposedly the highest rated offering in the Alien franchise, so we’ll see.

Set after Alien: Romulus but before the events of the original Alien movie, Alien: Earth follows 6 terminally ill children as their consciousnesses are uploaded into synthetic bodies by Boy Kavalier, trillionaire CEO of the Prodigy Corporation. Shortly after their uploading, the “Lost Boys” as the hybrids are known, Wendy, Slightly, Curly, Smee, Nibs, and Toodles are sent to the crash site of the Maginot, a Weyland-Yutani ship. Because of their synthetic bodies, Boy figures they will not be targeted by the alien payload. While they do recover the aliens, including the title creature, Weyland-Yutani wants them back, and shenanigans ensue. As you may have surmised, Peter Pan is the framing metaphor for the series.

Next, I finished the first season of Chief of War (Apple TV +). Jason Momoa executive produced and starred in his latest passion project, relating the struggle to unify Hawai’i under Kamehameha I. Set at the end of the 18^th century when the four major kingdoms of the Hawaiian Islands were in a state of war: Hawaiʻi, Maui, Oʻahu, and Kauaʻi, the series follows Kaʻiana (Momoa), a warrior chief (aliʻi) of Kauaʻi. Picked up by a British ship when he falls off a cliff and is presumed dead, Ka’iana experiences the world outside of Hawai’i and returns with a shipload of guns. They had cultural advisors in every department to ensure authenticity and to present these historical events with as much accuracy as possible. Most of the dialogue is in Hawai’ian, so make sure you have captioning on. An amazing epic about a culture I’ve had the curious for.

Then, I watched Fantastic Four: First Steps (Disney +). I liked it. A friend had just watched it and said it felt like an incomplete story. It wasn’t an origin story (they took care of that in the opening montage), but I also felt it was merely the beginning of a bigger story, which conforms to the subtitle, first steps, and to the postscript advising that the Fantastic Four would return in Avengers: Doomsday. Add to that the post-credit scene in the Thunderbolts*, and it’s very much giving “to be continued …” vibes. For all that, I did enjoy the story and how Sue Storm and Shalla Bal end up being the best characters of the bunch. And the family dynamics were great. The F4 really demonstrate how a healthy family interacts. There are a lot of other reviews and analysis videos out there, so you can peruse those if you wish. For me, Thunderbolts* is still the standout Marvel movie of the last few years, though.

Next, I finished the second season of Hazbin Hotel (Prime). The first season culminated in the ascension of Serpentous/Sir Pentous. In this season, Charlie struggles to spread the good news that redemption is possible while Vox undermines her at every turn and foments war with heaven. Musicals aren’t my favourite, but the songs are bangers (!) And I love the animation style.

I finished watching season five of Only Murders in the Building (Disney +). Lester the doorman was found dead at the end of last season, and then Oliver gets tangled up with a second corpse in the dry cleaner’s next door. The main suspects are four of the richest people in the world, who sabotage the podcast to keep their secrets off air. And one of them buys the Arconia and kicks everyone out to build New York’s first casino (!) It felt for a moment like this would be the final season, but the gang sorted things out. Also, an old frenemy of Mabel’s shows up to complicate things, the board wants to have a robot doorman, and Charles is involved in a drug study. A slightly different tone to the season, but very fun. The murder setting up next season is killer.

Then, because Amazon snagged the rights, I watched both seasons of Helluva Boss (Prime). Blitzo (pronounced Blitz — the O is silent), an imp raised in the circus, goes independent as an adult, after having made a deal with goetia prince Stolas (to whom he was once “sold” as a playmate) to obtain a book that facilitates travel to the mortal realm in return for sexual favours. Yes, this is an adult animated series. Blitzo founds IMP (immediate murder professionals) offering his team’s services to kill mortals at the request of various of hell’s denizens. Blitzo’s team consists of Millie and Moxxie, passionate partners as well as assassins, and Loona, Blitzo’s adopted daughter and hellhound.

This is the background against which the real story — that of love between deeply damaged people — plays out. The main romance is between Blitzo and Stolas. Stolas, trapped in a loveless, arranged marriage, falls deeply for Blitzo. He loves his daughter, Octavia (Via) but, not having had loving parents himself, he cannot show Via affection in a healthy way. Blitzo loves Stolas, too, but feels unworthy of love because of his own upbringing. Other relationships — Millie and Moxxie, Ozzy and Fizzie — compare and contrast, while Blitzo’s relationship with Loona plays against Stolas’ relationship with Via. Amazingly complex for an animated series. Absolutely loved it.

My first listen of the month was Hex Around and Find Out by Molly Harper, the second in her Moonshadow Cove series. This cozy paranormal romance focuses on middle sister Coral (Cora) Seaworth. All three Seaworth sisters have lived in isolation after the deaths of their parents. They’ve had to figure everything out on their own, including that they are fae fin folk as well as witches charged with the tasks of managing the ghosts of Starfall Point and guarding the egg of a kelpie (AKA the Loch Ness Monster AKA a seahorse-dragon). Cora’s the quiet one who’d rather curl up with a book, but when she runs into charming but shiftless Igor (Iggy) Galinsky, it’s not long before irritation turns into infatuation. When Iggy is shot in the ass with a tranquilizer dart, Cora has no choice but to take him to Moonshadow Cove … and keep him there until they can be sure he’s not going to spill the magical beans. Another fun, lighthearted read.

Next, I finished reading Under the Whispering Door by TJ Klune. Wallace is a lawyer and, if we’re being honest, a jerk. When he dies of a heart attack and Mei reaps him at his funeral, he’s desperate to return to the corporate hamster wheel. He has work to do! Instead, he’s taken to the Charron’s Crossing Tea Shop, where Hugo, the owner and ferryman, promises to help him cross over. The ghosts of Nelson, Hugo’s grandfather, and Apollo, Hugo’s dog provide no end of irritation to the newly deceased Wallace. Complicating Wallace’s journey of undead self-discovery are husks (remnants of ghosts who refuse to cross over and wander the world outside the tea shop), charlatan psychics, grieving mothers, and the most terrifying being of all, The Manager. Another lovely, and loving, Klune novel.

So, of course, having read a couple of cozy (or cozy-adjacent), paranormal romances, I headed for the epic grimdark romantasy of Danielle L. Jensen’s The Tempest Blade, the sixth in the Bridge Kingdom series. It’s not out yet in print but Audible released the audiobook early.

This is the second novel of Ahnna’s story. At the end of book five, though Ahnna and James have fallen in love, Ahnna learns that James is part of a plot to claim the Bridge for Harendell, and Ahnna is framed for the brutal murder of King Edward, James’ father. She flees and he pursues her, swearing bloody vengeance. The previous couples — Lara and Aren of Ithicana, and Zarrah and Keris of Valcotta — all have POV chapters in this book. Lara and Keris’ sister Zarhina has ceded to a democracy in Meridrina, but there’s still the rulership/governance of Amarid and Cardiff to settle. Though the ending felt pretty definitive, which may indicate that this 6^th book is the last in the series, I’d think the author would want to ensure all the countries of her world are established with passionate couples that have been through literal hell for one another. Cardiff and Amarid have yet to be explored in detail, and Cardiff has an interesting, witchy culture to delve into. I guess we’ll see when the print book comes out next March.

Then I read Tobias S. Buckell’s The Executioness. Tana’s father is an Executioner, given the task of beheading those who use magic, causing the irrepressible and poisonous bramble to grow. But he’s dying when the call comes from the Jolly Mayor that his services are needed, and because her husband is useless and she needs to feed her family, Tana takes up her father’s axe, dons his hood, and goes to do his duty, in a move reminiscent of Mulan. And like Mulan, Tana is caught up in war when raiders burn her village and abduct her sons. Immediately, she sets out to rescue them. Buckell writes Tana’s grief and rage well.

Next, I finished reading The Book of Life by Deborah Harkness. When Matthew and Diana return to the present, it’s to find that Emily has been murdered. The Congregation’s been up to their old tricks and though the witch responsible is removed, the de Clairmonts still have formidable obstacles to overcome if they want their happily ever after. Like rescinding the Covenant, which prohibits “inter-species” marriage, which Diana and Matthew are in violation of. Like Benjamin, the son Matthew abandoned, who now wants to possess Diana and her children. And like finally finding the Book of Life and restoring its pages so that the riddles of blood rage and weavers can finally be solved. A satisfying conclusion to the All Souls trilogy.

Then, I listened to The Quantum Labyrinth: How Richard Feynman and John Wheeler Revolutionized Time and Reality by Paul Halpern. This fascinating biography documents the development of Feynman and Wheeler’s academic and personal relationship. Over the years, nearly every great mind in physics becomes a part of the story from Einstein and Bohr, through Oppenheimer (both men participated in The Manhattan Project), to Thorne. It’s as much history as it is biography and science book. Fascinating.

I listened to J.M. Barrie’s Peter Pan, having been prompted by Alien: Earth (see above). I hadn’t actually read it before, and it was interesting to compare the ominous narration of Boy Kavalier with the original text. Mother’s “cleaning up” their children’s minds after they’ve fallen asleep. Peter “culling” the lost boys from time to time. More interesting was the narrator’s overt critique of Mrs. Darling as a bad mother because she was kind to her children. Mr. Darling’s outright incompetence is given a pass. There’s a lot in this children’s book that bears examination.

Next, I listened to American Fairy Tales by L. Frank Baum. Originally published in syndication (much like Dickens published much of his fiction) following the publication of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, the twelve stories in this collection include knooks, ryls, and other fairies, how the king of the polar bears loses and then recovers his pelt, a beetle that grants the poor woman who saves him with a pump that produces gold, a storefront mannikin that comes to life, a young cowboy who lassoes Father Time, and other entertaining tales. Many of the stories offer somewhat clumsy morals at their conclusion, however.

Then, I listened to John Wiswell’s Someone You Can Build a Nest In. Sheshesen is a shapeshifting monster just trying to survive and avoid the human monster hunters who killed her mother. When one of those hunters, Catharsis Wolfire, disturbs her hibernation, Shesheshen has no choice but to defend herself. Though she kills Catharsis, the other two monster hunters with him escape. Again, Shesheshen must pursue them if she hopes to protect her home and privacy. They’ll come back and bring even more hunters with them. But Shesheshen is exposed during her investigation in the local town and, like many a monster before her, she is pursued by an angry mob and falls off a cliff, it is thought, to her death.

A kind woman named Homily nurses Shesheshen back to health and the two begin to bond. Distressingly, Shesheshen’s eggs have decided that Homily would make a most suitable nest and Shesheshen is conflicted. Explore the bond they share or implant her eggs and lose Homily forever? Things get even more complicated when Shesheshen learns that Homily is a Wolfire, and her family has dedicated themselves to killing the shapeshifting monster who cursed them years ago, who is apparently Shesheshen, and she has no memory of cursing anyone. A fabulous novel with a series of truly surprising twists. And Shesheshen is autistic-coded! Hear me out. I’ve often felt like and alien or, yes, a monster. I related to Shesheshen HARD.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: October 2025 update

November 12, 2025 / Melanie Marttila

My continuing adventures in caregiving. And buckle up, folks, this is an epic update (!)

Life in general

A picture of a cloudy sky above spruce trees.

It was October 2^nd, and I was cocooned (weighted blanket, weighted eye mask, ear plugs) and sleeping when my phone started ringing around 2 am. I roused and checked the number. No caller ID. From Utah? Who would be calling me from Utah? I ignored it. Then there was a second call.

Later, there were two more from a local number, again, without caller ID. Complex processor me was irritated and perplexed, but I didn’t clue in until my husband woke me up. Emergency services (ambulance and fire truck) were in the driveway (my mom lives next door to us).

The calls were from my mom’s Life Protect service.

When I got dressed and over to mom’s, she was still on the floor, having slipped trying to get out of bed for a midnight bathroom visit. Phil had let the paramedics in, and they got her up, brought her walker, got her to the bathroom and then back into bed. I stood watching and feeling intense shame for not answering my phone. The kind fireman, who probably would have had to break down my mom’s door if Phil hadn’t let them in, tried to reassure me that he would have done the same thing, but I felt judged.

Before they left, the EMTs recommended we get Mom a bed rail.

The rest of the night was sleepless.

The next day, I added both the Utah number, probably a call centre, and the local number, probably emergency services, to my contacts so I wouldn’t make the same mistake in the future. Phil called Silver Cross, who had helped Mom in the past with her walker and chair lift, about a bed rail. They’d have to call him back.

Mom was fine, though sore from her fall.

On Saturday, we had an appointment at the hairdresser, and she suggested that Mom get a keyless lock, so that, if I was away, she could give emergency services the code to get in. We discussed it over supper, and I realized that we needed to get some non-slip furniture pads for her bed feet too. She got rid of the carpet (then a tripping hazard) in her bedroom years ago and had laminate flooring installed. That meant that her bedframe could shift unexpectedly, even though we’d locked the wheels on it. It’s one thing I suspected may have contributed to the fall.

On Sunday, Phil installed the keypad lock. Monday, Silver Cross called and said they had the bed rail in stock, so he got the bed rail, and we installed it. All that was left were the non-slip furniture pads.

Phil found an old silicone cake pan and cut 4 squares. We ensured the wheels were locked and placed the silicone underneath. We both tested the bed for slippage. We thought things were good but waited on Mom’s report. It worked.

The final two weeks of October were a whirlwind.

Off to Can-Con for four days, back for three, then off again to a writing retreat, which was also the start of my LIA.

Good things, fun events, but still dysregulating because of the change to my daily rituals and habits, not sleeping in my own bed, being away from Phil and Torvi, etc.

While I was away in Ottawa, I noticed that my frenemy eczema decided to visit my left ring finger knuckle?! It inevitably pops up in weird places (e.g. my armpits … ?). FYI, it is incredibly difficult to keep the medicated cream on a knuckle.

Random awesomeness: I received a gift package from the Canadian Internet Registration Authority (CIRA). I’m a member and attended their virtual AGM (an event I may have neglected to include … I attend a lot of them!). It was a lovely gift box including:

a dark craft chocolate bar with fleur de sel from The Organic House (delish – all gone – no notes)
pasticinni cookies from Bliss Gourmet Baked Goods (sandwich cookies made with shortbread wafers, buttercream filling, and topped with dark chocolate drizzle – OMG – def all gone)
dark hot chocolate with vegan marshmallows from Peace by Chocolate (love the hot chocolate, never was fond of marshmallows in same)
three sample packs of Cafézia Coffee (light, medium, and dark roast) with cleavers, hyssop, and yerba maté, which I am really enjoying
a can of organic lemon ginger iced tea from the Genuine Tea Co., which I haven’t tried yet (but I’ll let you know when I do)
a jar of cider blueberry reduction from Lupin Pantry, which Phil says he’ll try on chicken some night, and
a package of lemon sorbet cotton candy from flufforia, which I have also not tried yet.

It was like getting an early birthday present!

The month in writing

The second cutting pass on Reality Bomb continued. I’m down to about 116,500 words from 118,000. So progress, but I may have to settle for 115,000 as a goal. Not ideal. More than most publishers and agents would tolerate, even from a science fiction novel.

My review of Kate Blair’s We Bury Nothing came out in the October 1^st edition of The Seaboard Review of Books.

The cover of Kate Blair's We Bury Nothing.

I received my Access Copyright payback payment on the 9^th! It was a pleasant surprise.

My big writerly event of the month was Can-Con in Ottawa from October 17^th to 19^th. I was on two panels, “The Art of Rest” at 8 pm on Friday, October 17, and the second, “The Taste of Sadness: Writing Emotional Dysregulation” at 2:30 pm on Sunday, October 19.

I felt Can-Con deserved its own post.

On the 9^th, there was a meeting of the Wordstock Planning Committee. Though I wouldn’t be present for the festival this year, I wanted to support it as much as possible.

And on the 27^th, there was another meeting of the SF Canada Board. We wanted to get ahead of the holidays this year and prepare for a mid-December AGM.

Filling the well

The full falling leaves super moon in Aries was on the 6^th. As seems to be the usual here in Sudbury, it started raining after noon and continued into the night.

The new vine moon in Libra was on the 21^st.

And the month ended, as it always does, with my beloved Samhain on the 31^st.

As usual, no kids came. I even left the treats out on the stairs while I was at my BD dins at my mom’s. We had souvlaki, lemon potatoes, rice, Greek salad, and pita with tzatziki, and Phil got a small, salted caramel chocolate cake for ‘zert.

On the first, I attended an Access Copyright workshop on Generative AI and Strategic Considerations for Creators and Publishers. It was informative considering the Anthropic Settlement.

I signed up for another Tiffany Yates Martin webinar through Jane Friedman on the 8^th. Mastering Voice in Fiction was, as usual, excellent. Martin does a lot of textual analysis, which helps. Also, she often brings in fun peripheral examples.

On the 15^th there was another Canadian Authors Association and SF Canada webinar presented by Susan Forest. Book Bones was excellent, incorporating multiple story structures. Forest really knows her stuff!

Hole in the Sky: a conversation between Daniel H. Wilson and Nisi Shawl was on the 16^th. A fascinating conversation.

On the 22^nd was Enshittification and the Rot Economy: a conversation between Cory Doctorow and Ed Zitron. Another amazing and topical conversation.

Writing on the Rocks, a Wild Ground Writing Retreat was on the weekend of the 24^th to 26^th. Again, I thought the event was worthy of its own post.

I signed up for another Tiffany Yates Martin webinar through Jane Friedman on the 29^th. The Final Polish was different from her usual offerings. Editing is her wheelhouse, and she provided a lot of concrete examples of how to improve our manuscripts on the line level. There was still textual analysis, but it was applied with an eye to that final polish.

Finally, a friend, Murgatroyd Monaghan, offered a 6-week course, “Unmasking Through Our Writing,” on Thursdays from October 30^th through December 4^th. Of course I signed up for it!

After a summer off family gatherings to accommodate my mom-in-law’s move into my sister-in-law’s house, we got together for Thanksgiving. It was great to see how well my mom-in-law is doing now that she’s settled in. The food was fabulous, and it was wonderful catching up with everyone. We went home with enough leftovers for another meal as well as pumpkin and cherry pies. Of course, I was grateful to have the time to recover after. Even welcome social events drain me.

My next therapy session was on the 14^th, before all my writerly events and travel. We went through various relationships (spouse, friends, colleagues, family, etc.) and chatted about boundaries and whether the relationships in question fed me, drained me, and if the latter, whether it was a required/obligatory energy suck that I’d have to be aware of/account for.

I signed up for a PFLS information session on the new Canadian disability benefit on the 21^st. I don’t qualify, but it was an interesting info session.

Also on the 21^st, I had an appointment with my RMT. As ever, the calming reset I needed.

My support group met on the 22^nd. The topic this month was resilience, which I hope I’m developing.

And on the 24^th, my self-funded leave began!

Finally, on the 30^th, I took Torvi in for her now monthly “touch up” service. Back in August, she reacted poorly to the dryer, and the groomers could therefore no longer bathe her. They converted the rest of the grooming package I had purchased into a gift card. Baths will now be our responsibility. Fortunately, Torvi doesn’t get super dirty until the spring. I’m holding off as long as I can, because I expect she will show aggression to me, as well.

My poor trauma hound.

What I’m watching and reading

Phil and I watched Marvel Zombies (Disney +). This animated series picks up from the “What if … Zombies?!” episode. Kamala Kahn, Riri Williams, and Kate Bishop team up, but are soon tragically separated. Peter Parker recounts how T’Challa defeated zombie Thanos even though he had all the infinity stones. Zemo finally becomes baron … of the Raft. And all may not be what it seems in New Asgard … very fun, but also very dark. We either need another season, or answers in one of the next live action Marvel movies (a possibility, though not confirmed) because the series ends on a crazy cliffhanger.

I finally watched both seasons of Peacemaker (HBO/Crave). I’d avoided it when it first came out, because I didn’t like the character the The Suicide Squad. But eventually, I’d heard enough good about the series that I figured I’d give it a try. I watched the first season in anticipation of the second. And it’s very much an emotional journey for Chris Smith. We get to witness his wound—being forced to fight his brother by their abusive, white supremacist father and accidentally killing him—and how that experience and the need to prove himself to his father shapes him into the man who wants to “make peace, no matter how many people he has to kill to do it.” But a guy that a bald eagle (Eagly) hugs can’t be all bad …

In the first season, Chris, fresh out of a month-long rehabilitation following his apparent death in The Suicide Squad, is recruited to another ARGUS black-ops team seeking to eliminate an alien species, “the butterflies,” who take over peoples’ bodies, killing them in the process. While they defeat the butterflies, it’s belatedly revealed that they were trying to help humanity. Amanda Waller is exposed, and the team breaks up, though they still socialize because they are the definition of a crazy found family.

In the second season, the characters try to make their ways in the world. John Economos is the only one still employed by ARGUS. Emelia Harcourt has been black-listed and resorts to nightly fist fights to feel anything. Leota Adebayo has left her wife to start her own security consulting business, but no one wants to hire her. Adrian Chase/Vigilante carries on in his violent vigilante ways, and Chris can’t find work anywhere. Rick Flagg Sr. is now in charge of ARGUS and wants revenge on Chris (for killing Rick Flagg Jr. in The Suicide Squad), and Chris is in unrequited love with Emelia. In desperation, he enters the quantum unfolding chamber and stumbles into another world where his brother and father (whom he killed in the first season) are alive and are heroes together with his alternate self. Of course, the first thing that happens is that he fights and kills himself. And Eagly gets his own subplot! Honestly, Eagly’s my favourite character. Followed closely by Leota. She’s the heart of the 11^th Street Kids.

It’s a surprisingly heartfelt, if goofy and anime-level bloody, series.

But … if this is not only the second but also the last season of Peacemaker, I confess the finale was unsatisfying. Was it that James Gunn wrote Peacemaker season 2 in the same relatively short period of time during which he was also working on Creature Commandos season 1 and Superman? Was it a matter of too many ideas and not enough figurative time to do them all justice? I personally think that with another two (or possibly more) episodes, all the disparate events (e.g. Eagly’s subplot, love it as I did, could have been eliminated and not affected the main story arc, and what was that with Rick Flagg Sr. uncharacteristically sacrificing his people to explore the worlds in the QUC while laughing it up and doing coke with Lex Luthor’s minions?) could have been better linked and probably made more sense. I also understand that the final scene was not Gunn’s idea, so if it felt weird, there was a reason for it. I won’t spoil the series further, because it is worth watching. Enjoyed immensely, despite the finale-that-didn’t-feel-like-a-finale.

Next, I watched the first season of The PITT (HBO/Crave). Basically, ER meets 24. A shift in the life of a Pittsburgh ER staff with a new class of interns. A lovely, diverse group of doctors and nurses, including at least one neurodivergent character. Everyone got their moment and there was a lot of great character development despite all the medical drama. And drama there was! A mass shooting event at a concert floods the ER with patients. And the acting was superb.

I won’t spoil it, and Tom vander Linden doesn’t either, but I like his analysis of the season:

Then, I finished watching Washington Black (Disney +). This limited series was adapted from the novel of the same name by Esi Edugyan. George Washington “Wash” Black is born to a slave on a Barbadian plantation and is taken as an assistant to the plantation owner’s brother, Christpher “Tich” Wilde. In the process of their scientific investigations, Wash runs afoul of another of Tich’s brothers, who commits suicide, attempting to frame Wash for his murder. Tich flees with Wash and the two have adventures that ultimately result in Wash living in Nova Scotia under an assumed name, because bounty hunters are still after him. A fabulous, touching series told in interwoven timelines (Wash as a child and Wash as an adult) with an amazing ending. Loved! I’ll have to move the book higher up in my TBR pile.

Next, Phil and I watched the second season of Gen V (Prime). Marie escapes Elmira, leaving the rest of the gang behind. Andre pushes his powers too far in an escape attempt and dies (to account for actor Chance Perdomo’s death in a motorcycle accident, RIP). Eventually everyone, including Marie, who is given a mission by Starlight/Annie — discover what Project Odessa is and how to stop it — returns to Godolkin, where the new dean, Cipher, puts them all through extreme training to force their powers to evolve. There are a lot of ties to The Boys, and the ending of the season promises to have the whole gang teaming up with Annie, A-Train, and the resistance for the final season of the main series. There’s a lot more. This season of Gen V was tightly plotted, and they didn’t waste a minute on irrelevant … stuff. I mean, even the guy with a pocket universe in his ass came into play in the climactic scene. Bloody but excellent!

Then, I finished watching the first season of Dept. Q (Netflix). Detective Carl Morck was involved in a shooting that left his partner paralyzed and another officer dead. Now he’s been recruited to solve cold cases, and the first one is a missing prosecutor, Merritt Lingard. It’s a complex and layered series, dealing with Morck’s relationship with his son, PTSD from the shooting, therapy (which he is resistant to) and his antisocial behaviour and anger issues. Though he’s supposed to be working alone, he recruits his partner to help him recover (though Morck realizes he can’t go it alone). He is sent an assistant, Akram Salim, a Syrian police officer who is technically supposed to be a file clerk, but Morck recognizes Salim’s skill and invites him to work the case along with him. Finally, Rose Dickson, a young constable desperate to get out from behind the desk, insinuates herself into the growing team. They mystery is also a complex one and Morck is challenged to save Merritt Lingard before her abductors kill her. Another excellent series.

My first read of October was Like Water for Weary Souls by Liisa Kovala. This historical mystery was set in Sudbury, focusing on the Finnish community in 1932 and 1933, and addressed how the Great Depression affected Sudbury and how “Karelian Fever” affected the Finnish community specifically. Kovala also delved into classism and cultural othering as well as prostitution and women’s reproductive health at the time. Her novel was inspired by real events.

Hanna Kivi and her sister Esteri (Essi) move from their family farm in Wanup into the city. Both find work as domestics but can only afford to take rooms at Rouva Russa’s boarding house in the Donovan, which is also a brothel. When Hanna’s body is found frozen in Nolin Creek, Essi immediately suspects foul play. Hanna would never risk crossing the creek, not after their sister Martta drowned years earlier, but the police want to rule it an accident. Essi’s investigation takes her deep into the city’s underbelly. Was it Pekka Peltonen, the burly drunk Hanna was seen talking to? Was it Matti Korhonen, the Karelian recruiter Hanna was secretly working for? The more Essi learns, the more she worries she didn’t know her sister at all.

Then, I finished reading We Love You, Bunny by Mona Awad. This book and its predecessor, Bunny, are considered dark academia books. I’ve been reading a lot of those, recently. R.F. Kuang’s Katabasis and Charlie Jane Anders’ Lessons in Magic and Disaster both fall into that sub-genre as well.

In Bunny, Samantha Heather Mackie enrolls in the prestigious MFA at New England’s Warren (there are two Warren colleges, one in California and the other in Tennessee, so Awad’s is fictional, and why wouldn’t it be?). She endures the mean girl bullying of the rest of her all-woman cohort until she is inexplicably invited to one of their “slut salons” during which the “Bunnies” take literary creation in a surreal direction, after which Sam goes down a hellish rabbit hole. All puns intended.

In We Love You, Bunny, which serves as both sequel and prequel, Sam has published her debut novel (which, it seems, is Bunny) and returns to Warren on her book tour. Her former cohort has returned as well and kidnaps her after her reading. They tie her up in Kyra, AKA Creepy Doll’s attic, where the aforementioned “slut salons” took place, and take turns holding the axe they used in their rituals to Sam’s neck while they recount their stories, effectively “revising” Sam’s.

Filled with unreliable narrators (really, is there any other kind?), all the snark you can stand (and then some), and even more surreal body horror than the first book, We Love You, Bunny is hilarious and horrific and eerily touching by turns. While it answers some questions raised in Bunny, is asks so many more that you’ll be asking along with several of the characters, “what is real?”

Next, I found a few more non-fiction titles that intrigued me and I listened to The Life and Works of L.M. Montgomery by Kate Scarth. This Great Courses/Audible Original collaboration walks through the life and literary influence of L.M. Montgomery in six lectures on family, place, friendship, creativity, and literature. I enjoyed it quite a bit. I have a confession: though I’ve seen the Megan Follows miniseries and Anne with an E, I’ve never read Anne of Green Gables (!)

So of course, my next read was Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Mongomery. It seems that the Megan Follows adaptation was faithful to the novel. A lovely story, with all the feels. Everyone should read it. Full stop.

Then, I listened to Written on the Dark by Guy Gavriel Kay. It is inspired by 15th century France and the Hundred Years’ War. It depicts versions of the figures Charles VI, Joan of Arc, and Henry V’s campaign in France culminating in the Battle of Agincourt, while the story focuses on the life and deeds of a tavern poet, inspired by François Villon. It is set in Ferrieres, Kay’s analogue of France.

Poet Thierry Villar is about to burgle a sanctuary to pay off a debt on a cold, winter night when the provost of Orane presses him into service as a spy to discover who killed the king’s brother, the Duke de Montereau. Villar’s investigations bring him to the attention of the king and queen of Ferrieres, poet Marina di Seressa, land him in prison, force him to exercise his atrophied skills as a lawyer, and to witness political and military machinations that change the world as he knows it. Villar serves as an everyman, swept up in grander schemes, but in the end, his words, written on the dark, fit the purposes of greater men and women. Justice is meted out, women and queer characters find their places in the world, and love is found and lost, as ever.

The epilogue ties several of the novel’s characters to events in others of his novels (A Brightness Long Ago and The Sarantine Mosaic). Excellent!

Next, I opted for another Great Courses/Audible Original selection, The Power and Persona of Catherine de’ Medici by William Landon. Catherine was seen as a political commodity for most of her childhood and several European royal families vied for her, but France won out. Stuck in a loveless, initially childless marriage, Catherine outlived her husband and all her male children. She was still the power behind the throne not only for her husband, but for the three of her sons who became king of France after him. Fascinating!

Then, I listened to The Downloaded 2: Ghosts in the Machine, by Robert J. Sawyer. The downloaded survivors of the nuclear disaster that left them stranded in The Downloaded have been working diligently to launch two new missions in light of the meteor about to strike Earth in an extinction-level event. The ex-convicts, led my Roscoe Kadoulian will be resettling on Mars, is a secondary colony on the opposite side of the planet from the main Martian colony. The astronauts, led by Captain Letitia Garvey, will upload to the quantum system again and head to Zeta Tucanae to complete their original exploratory mission. A fatal accident means that Roscoe must upload — something he’d sworn never to do again — as well. What he finds in the quantum system is both a miracle and the potential doom of every uploaded consciousness in the system. An excellent, suspenseful story.

Finally, I listened to Margaret Atwood: Modern Myth-Maker, by Jennifer Cognard-Black. In yet another Great Courses/Audible Original collaboration, Cognard-Black positions Atwood as an author who rewrites women’s myths with intention. While most of the short audiobook focuses on The Handmaid’s Tale, many of Atwood’s other works are referenced. Gave me thinky thoughts.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: September 2025 update

October 5, 2025 / Melanie Marttila

Getting back into creative life with an in-person event!

A picture of a dusk sky with dark clouds and a tree silhouetted in the lower left corner.

Life in general

I overdid it, to be honest. Though I’d known about the reading since the end of July and had all the arrangements made for over a month, though I took the two days off so I would have time to drive down and back, though I tried to conserve spoons in the days leading up to my trip to London, I was still wiped afterward. And during, to be honest.

I was frazzled about missing a turn that would have allowed me to bypass Toronto altogether (Google Maps announced that it had lost GPS after Parry Sound). I was distressed about being late for the reading. I was frustrated by the traffic on the 401 that was consistently heavy all the way to London. I was further distressed because I was stuck waiting for a train to pass through London, mere blocks from the hotel because I wanted to check in before heading to Mykonos.

But once I arrived, the Apposite Poetry Series organiser, Roméo, was wonderful and calming and had a cigarette with me before we went in (yes, I’m still smoking). The intimate group was welcoming and supportive and did much to reassure me that my being late was not the disaster I’d convinced myself it was. I listened to some fabulous poetry and fiction excerpts. I found the mic’s sweet spot and rocked my reading. I read from The Art of Floating and shared some of my autistic series. I sold two books and traded two more.

I had a nice, light supper of Greek salad and tzatziki with pita and went back to the hotel to relax. But my brain was in overdrive, and it was a long time before I could get to sleep.

Took an easy morning, had a swim and hot tub, showered, packed, and checked out early so I could meet with a friend before I was on the road again.

The journey home was uneventful, but a burrito I nabbed on the way home may have resulted in food poisoning. I was up vomiting Thursday night and took a sick day Friday.

Though I rested all weekend, I was still dysregulated come Sunday. It was a big week. I should have planned better, but I didn’t have enough leave to take more days off.

I unpacked the trip with my therapist (see below).

The following week at work was rough, complicated by a disappointing visit to the optometrist—the only way to fix the problem with my lenses was to get new ones—and someone sideswiping me and then disappearing on my way home.

Good things came out of the week too, though. I submitted my report, funding request form, and travel claim to the League of Canadian Poets and gratefully received my funding the following week. I responded to an expression of interest to join a new team. And I had an interesting discussion with my team lead about diverting to another project leading up to my next leave with income averaging.

Things were very much changing in a positive direction.

The new project was interesting, though I think that it may be more than I can do between now and the end of October. We’ll see how things play out.

Thing that made me happy: A lovely garter snake serpentined its way across my path on a dog walk. Torvi didn’t notice, which is weird. Normally she leaps after every bird, chipmunk, squirrel, rabbit … etc. she sees. Guess she (the snake) was a gift just for me.

Random thing: A pileated woodpecker crashed into my mom’s picture window while I was visiting her. He was stunned and I was concerned, even called a local wildlife rescue, but after a few minutes, he lifted his head, though he was still sprawled on the driveway. After another ten minutes, he tucked in his wings and got his feet under him. Another ten and he flew away. A good ending to what could have been a sad story.

More things that brought me joy:

The month in writing

I started my second cutting pass of Reality Bomb. Just another 8,000 words …

On the 3^rd, I was advised of the programming for this year’s Can-Con. I’ll be in two panels! The first will be “The Art of Rest” at 8 pm on Friday, October 17, and the second is “The Taste of Sadness: Writing Emotional Dysregulation” at 2:30 pm on Sunday, October 19. Whee! Much excite!

On the 8^th, my review of Thyme Travellers was published in The Seaboard Review.

The cover of Thyme Travellers, edited by Sonia Sulaiman.

My big event of the month was the Apposite Poetry Series open mic on September 10^th. I took the 10^th and 11^th off work, travelled down on the 10^th, checked into my hotel, and made my way to the venue only a little late.

Enjoyed a light supper while I listened to some lovely poems and novel excerpts. Then, I read from The Art of Floating and shared a few poems from my autistic series. After a second round of the open mic, I was happy to sell a couple and trade a couple more copies of my collection.

London has a fabulous literary community, and I was pleased to be among them!

After the reading, I returned to the hotel for a relaxing evening. In the morning, I went for a swim and met a friend for a croffle (croissant waffle with Nutella and bananas) breakfast at a lovely Filipino café called Happiness, before taking my time driving home, returning the rental car, and, again, relaxing.

I have discovered the caramel toffee cold brew with espresso foam from Tim Hortons, and my life has changed forever (!)

Last month’s bit of vague-booking can now be revealed! My poem “Vasilisa,” originally published in Polar Borealis 30, will be included in Year’s Best Canadian Fantasy and Science Fiction Volume 3! The first two volumes were Aurora Award winners, and the rest of the TOC is indeed the best of the best. So, so honoured to be in such illustrious company!

On the 22^nd, my review of Birch and Jay by Allister Thompson was published in The Seaboard Review.

The cover of Birch and Jay by Allister Thompson.

The author reached out to me on Instagram and said I really “got” what he was trying to do with the novel. It’s so gratifying to know that my review made a difference. I sincerely hope it helps bring more readers to the book.

The Wordstock AGM was on the 29^th at the Main Branch of the Greater Sudbury Public Library. The lineup was announced and I’m so sad I’ll miss it (it’s the same weekend as my writing retreat).

Also on the 29^th was our regular, quarterly board meeting for SF Canada, where we, once again, made decisions and got shit done. It was a big day for writerly business.

Filling the well

The full changing colours moon in Pisces was on the 7^th. It was also a lunar eclipse, but not visible in the Americas. Caught the Time and Date replay and did a guided breathwork plus visualization meditation.

The new hazel moon in Virgo was on the 21^st. And there was a partial solar eclipse, again not visible in North America. Time and Date to the rescue. I celebrated with a grounding guided meditation.

And fall arrived on the 22^nd. Rainy day here in Sudbury. Did the altar thing, switched over to fall scents, and brought out the fall door décor.

I’ve started signing up for some online coworking sessions through a couple of groups I’m a part of. It’s nice to have someone, or a group of someones, to body double. It’s motivating and gentle. Demand-free.

On the 9^th, I attended “The future belongs to indie authors: How to stand out in the era of AI” with Kern Carter. Though I know myself well enough that I will probably not be self-publishing anything, it was an interesting session and fed my learning mutt’s appetite.

I signed up for the “Waning Moon Writing Workshop” with Catherine LaSota on the 15^th. It was a lovely, witchy session.

The CAA and SF Canada webinar series on the 17^th was presented by Dr. Melissa Yuan-Innes. “Medical Errors 101” was wonderful! A lot of great insights from a real doctor. Verra cool.

I inadvertently double-booked the 18^th. Fortunately, the webinars followed one another. The first was “Introduction to Structural Editing” presented by Editors Canada. Molly was excellent!

The second workshop on the 18^th was the first session of “Beyond Worldbuilding” with Kate Maruyama, a 2-part Clarion West workshop. The second session was on the 25^th. Maruyama’s approach is a little different from some others I’ve encountered. Everything starts with the characters and spirals outward from there. Very good!

I had an orthotics checkup on the 2^nd. All was well, but my running shoes are starting to wear unevenly. I’ll be getting a new pair for winter and learned that I can donate my “gently used” shoes to my pedorthist to pass along to people who don’t have shoes. I was getting distressed by having to throw out my old shoes. I go through about a pair (or more) a year (!) This is a great solution.

On the 3^rd, I had a phone appointment with my doctor to get a note in support of my accommodation request to continue to work from home. And now that has been settled until the end of fiscal (Mach 31, 2026). It’s a relief.

My next therapy session was on the 15^th. I processed my crazy week, and we talked about the effective deployment of spoons.

My support group resumed after summer break on the 24^th. The topic was life transitions and major changes.

What I’m watching and reading

My first watch of the month was a movie: The Thursday Murder Club (Netflix). Great performances from a fabulous cast and a clever dual mystery. Red herrings abound, and the solve is a satisfying surprise. Very recommend (and no, that’s not a typo).

Then, Phil and I finished watching season 2 of Wednesday (Netflix). I think I liked it better than the first season. Wednesday loses her precognitive abilities and gets a new spirit guide. Aadams family secrets are revealed (and make sense of seemingly senseless events). Wednesday and Enid have friendship growing pains (mostly because Wednesday’s keeping secrets of her own) and Wednesday gets a(nother) stalker. There’s a breakout from the asylum Tyler (the hyde) is being treated. And there are more (moar!) hydes in the world. Grandmama makes a grand entrance. The new principal is evil! Wednesday almost dies twice (to her immense joy). And the new (and some returning) guest stars and cameos are, well, stellar. It was a lot of fun.

Next, I watch The Old Guard 2 (Netflix). In the first film, Andy (Andromache) lost her immortality after finding Nile, the first new immortal to be found in a long time but decided to continue her mercenary missions with the other immortals in her crew. The sequel starts with the recovery of an iron maiden from the depths of the ocean in which Quỳnh, another immortal, has been trapped for centuries. Discord, the first immortal uses Quỳnh to lure Andy, and more importantly Nile, into her clutches. Nile is the last immortal and can stop the healing abilities of other immortals if she wounds them, and Discord wants to use Nile to regain her lost immortality. The movie ends with all the immortals but Andy and Quỳnh abducted by Discord, Andy regaining her immortality and Quỳnh losing hers, and the two of them heading off to rescue the rest of the immortals from Discord. Great fight scenes. An entertaining sequel.

I finished watching the third season of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds (CTV Scifi). It was fun. The final two episodes were heart wrenching. I may have shed a tear at the finale. There was a lot of nostalgic fan service, but there was something bothering me about this third season.

Allow me to elucidate.

In the second season, Una was put on trial for being a member of a genetically engineered species and hiding it from Starfleet. It was an interesting episode that explored Starfleet’s unjust discrimination and Una’s personhood and right to remain in Starfleet. In contrast, this season engaged in a lot of biological essentialism (the idea that biology is destiny), pigeonholing the Gorn as monsters (until the penultimate episode), the Vezda as pure evil, Vulcans as purely logical and unable to lie (even though this is shown to be culturally, but not genetically, true in canon), and Battel, due to becoming a hybrid human/Gorn/Illyrian as the perfect warrior to defeat the Vezda. There is also a lot of juvenile relationship drama, all of it heteronormative. Like I said off the top, I enjoyed the season (and I’m still in love with the modulated theme—so hopeful!), but it has problems, particularly when you think of what Star Trek as a whole has represented over the years. Diversity! Acceptance! A fictional space to wrestle with current issues! Yes, ST: SNW is a prequel series, and Starfleet may not be as utopian/enlightened as it is in other, chronologically later series, but there’s room to be relevant to the times we live in. Even TOS did that.

The recent merge with Skydance may have an influence, but much of season three would have been written/shot/produced before that happened. Unless internal rumours heralded the change.

If you want to explore this topic further, I’ll direct you to Jessie Gender After Dark (she can get a bit ranty, but I agree with her desire for ST to do more/better) and Reactor’s articles on ST: SNW.

Then, I finished watching The Hardy Boys, seasons 2 and 3 (Disney +). I had watched season 1 years ago on Netflix, but then it disappeared. When it showed up on Disney +, I decided to catch up. It’s a bit wild.

In the first season, Frank and Joe are embroiled in a series of mysteries that all eventually lead back to their own family and a secret society called the Circle. They find an artefact called the Eye and the resolution to the main mystery lands their grandmother in prison.

Over the course of season two, Frank, having absorbed the power of the Eye, has a series of visions of the past and his great-grandfather, which lead him and Joe to discovering a crystal, another artefact related to the Eye. This complicates the group’s search for a missing classmate, whose recovery reveals a sinister plot called Project Midnight involving a machine that can send people’s consciousnesses into the crystal. Frank is kidnapped by Adrian Munder, who intends to rescue his brother, who is trapped in the crystal, and transfer his consciousness into Frank’s body, trapping Frank in the crystal. Though Joe and the gang rush to the rescue, they are unaware that the Hardy boys’ great-grandfather George was also trapped in the crystal and now inhabits Frank’s body.

Season three involves a hunt for yet another artefact called the Core, tied to the crystal and the Eye. Before long, Joe realizes that Frank is not himself and recruits the gang to break into Project Midnight and get Frank’s consciousness back in his body. The plot then pulls a 180, introducing a new villain with a plot to use the crystal, Eye, and the Core to plunge the world into VR, ostensibly to save it from climate change and other manmade disasters (whaa?!). Eventually, Frank and Joe share the power of the Eye with the world to stop the simulation.

Like I said, it was wild.

Phil and I watched season three of Foundation (Apple TV +), which keeps getting better and better. Gael has used cryosleep to extend her life and is hurtling toward the next crisis for the Foundation—the Mule, a powerful psychic who has the power to destroy both the Foundation and Empire. The Second Foundation is thriving, but no one outside of the community knows of its existence. The current Dusk basically destroys Empire, including Damerzel, their illicit robot, and decides to rule alone as Darkness. There’s a lot more, but this is a series that I’ll encourage you to watch. It’s fabulous!

Then, I joined a Zoom watch party for Superman (2025). The conflict between Jarhanpur and Boravia seems to be a direct commentary on various current atrocities, most notably Russia’s invasion of Ukraine and Israel’s genocide in Gaza. Krypto is an adorable doggo thug. Guy Gardner/Green Lantern is an unrepentant asshole. I wish they’d given Hawkgirl more to do. Mr. Terrific is just that. And Superman himself? Human to the core and so compassionate he tries to save everyone, even dogs and squirrels, even the kaiju Lex Luthor unleashes on Metropolis. As for Lex, he’s SO over the top. Despite the intellectual differences, he seems to be an analog for a certain despot-in-office. And the supporting cast is awesome too. Loved it!

I’ve seen a bunch of great commentary about the new Superman online, but I’ll direct you to Princess Weekes’ video on the topic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qS2k5ah8WNg It’s full of thinky thoughts.

My first listen of the month was The Wild Robot Escapes by Peter Brown. Our wild robot, Roz is refurbished and sent to work on a farm. As she is wont to do, Roz loves her human family and the dairy cows she tends, but she misses Brightbill and all her animal friends on the island. She doesn’t belong in the human world and when Brightbill and his flock of geese come to visit, the children see her talking to them. They realize all the stories Roz has been telling them are true and decide to help her escape. Another lovely, lovely book.

Then, I read Charlie Jane Anders’ Lessons in Magic and Disaster. Jamie, a trans academic and witch, is trying to finish her PhD, but her mother Serena has never recovered from the death of her partner years ago. In an attempt to bring her mother out of her depression and isolation, Jamie teaches her about magic, but Serena misuses it, to disastrous results (hence the title). It’s a story about love and redemption. Every character is complex and layered. No one is completely innocent, and no one is completely horrible, either. And the ending is equally complex. So sad and yet satisfying! I loved this book SO HARD!

Many of the 18^th Century authors Anders cites as part of Jamie’s research are, in fact, actual authors (though the book, Emily, and the annotated manuscript that becomes the key to Jamie’s dissertation are invented). She’s written about her influences for the novel on her newsletter Happy Dancing. I’ll invite you to subscribe and peruse her archives.

Next, I finally read Audrey Niffenegger’s The Time Traveler’s Wife. I’ve seen both the movie adaptation and the one season of the cancelled series. The book is so much better and so much more devastating than either. And that’s all I’ll say about this book. LOVED!

Then, I finished Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater. Grace was attacked by wolves when she was 11. Now 17, she watches the woods, not in fear, but in longing. There has always been one wolf Grace thinks of as her wolf. But when a boy from her school, Jack, disappears and is suspected to have been killed by wolves, it results in a frenzied hunt by the men of Mercy Falls. Grace’s wolf is shot and turns into a human boy in her arms. Sam is the werewolf who saved Grace when she was 11 and the two share a deep connection that defies the fear and hatred of both humans and wolves.

I finished reading R. F. Kuang’s Katabasis. In classical mythology, katabasis is a descent into the underworld, like Orpheus and Euridice, Persephone, or Dante’s Inferno. In fact, these works are references to the magickal scholars in Katabasis. Alice Law believes she made a mistake that caused the death of her doctoral advisor Jacob Grimes and decides to make the journey to hell to recover his soul for the sake of her academic career. As she is preparing, Peter Murdoch, a fellow Grimes advisee and Alice’s academic rival, discovers what she’s doing and offers to go with her. Like Inanna’s journey into the underworld, Alice and Peter slowly have everything stripped away from them as they traverse the courts of hell. When all their secrets are laid bare, Alice must come to terms with what she really came to hell to do, and whether she really wants to do it anymore. Another amazing read!

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: August 2025 update

September 7, 2025 / Melanie Marttila

If I don’t accept your “gift,” it’s yours to keep.

Life in general

I was introduced to a story about the Buddha. It goeth thusly: a man goes up to the Buddha and calls him a fraud. The Buddha says nothing. The man angrily demands to be acknowledged, to hear the Buddha’s response to his accusation. After a while, the Buddha asks the man, “Who does a gift belong to if it is refused?” “To the person who gives it,” the man replies. “I have refused your anger. You may keep it,” the Buddha says and returns to his meditation.

This story is about not taking on other people’s opinions of you, not taking on unnecessary emotional (or other) labour, and about maintaining healthy boundaries. This is my current challenge.

Things were going well, but by the middle of second week of full-time work, I could feel the tired creeping up on me again. I could feel my level of meh and frustration with the ongoing project rise. It didn’t help that the goalposts were moved again. I wondered if I’d ever get out of the seemingly endless cycle of eternally revised content.

I tried some additional accommodations in the interest of conserving spoons during day job hours to devote them to my creative work. I have a new kitchen timer, so I can put it on for 20 minutes to give myself a reminder to step away from my desk when I need to. I don’t even mind the ticking, because it keeps me from going down the hyperfocus rabbit hole.

It works well … if I remember to use it, which is the problem.

I started standing for my workday. I have an adjustable desk at home and can raise and lower it as needed. Again, it helps keep me present … but my feet, knees, and lower back don’t enjoy it.

I use the fitness ball to balance and bounce around during meetings, but there haven’t been many of those this month with summer holidays and all.

It’s a work in progress. I’ll keep trying things until I find a system/structure that works.

Another lovely bit of good news, though. I was able to apply for another self-funded leave from the last week of October to the end of November. It’ll be another stretch off for self-care and maintenance. Recovery is all, folks!

In other wellness news, I’ve been swimming once a week since July 1^st, building up my stamina and refamiliarizing myself with the strokes. It’s been lovely getting into the water again. I paused in the second last week of August when the weather went from sweltering to below seasonal. Call me a chickenshit, but I’m getting too old to swim when it’s chilly. I know that, technically, the water should feel warmer when the air is cool, but I’m considering my sensory capacity and relative comfort.

I think I’m done lake swimming for the year, though.

The month in writing

After finishing the first cutting pass of Reality Bomb, I took a break to finish up some reviews, a creative non-fiction flash piece, and some poetry (I have a looooong backlog of ideas yet to be committed to the page).

I wrote 6 poems and finished drafting my CNF flash piece.

In late July, I was presented with the possibility of a September poetry reading through the Apposite Poetry Series in London, Ontario. I didn’t announce anything at the time because the organizers were still trying to confirm another poet. They’d let me know once they heard back from the other poet.

Not wanting to miss the LCP poetry reading series funding deadline on August 1^st, I applied. I could always withdraw after if the opportunity didn’t pan out.

But on the 4^th, I received the confirmation! I would be the featured reader on September 10^th! And on the 15^th, I was advised that my reading funding had been granted! Leave from work granted. Hotel and rental car booked. I’m all set.

Apposite Poetry Reading Series open mic featuring Melanie Marttila. Wednesday, September 10th at 6:30 pm. 572 Adelaide St. N.

Also on the 10^th, this lovely review came out in On Creative Writing: Neurodivergent author Melanie Marttila on the power of reclaiming your authentic voice. It’s de-gorgeous, and I’m so happy.

On the 9^th, I received an invitation for one of my poems published in 2024 to be included in a year’s best anthology! Eeeeeee! Contract is signed, but I will have to wait on announcing anything further until the publisher begins formal promotion.

The SF Canada financial review meeting was on the 8^th. Just preparing all the financial materials for our auditors and addressing a couple of bits and bobs.

On the 30^th, I put my name in for the Wordstock festival planning committee. I don’t know how much I’ll be able to help, but I’ll do what I can.

Filling the well

August 1^st was Lughnassadh. It happened to be the last day of a break in the heat. It was a lovely first harvest and I thought about all the things I’ve done for myself, my mental health, and my creative life in the last couple of months, lit my altar, and focused on gratitude.

The full ricing moon in Aquarius was on the 9^th. Super hot. Did a guided “Lion’s Gate” meditation.

The news holly moon in Virgo was on the 23^rd. Things were cooling down. Did another guided meditation.

I registered for the League of Canadian Poets open mic night on the 6^th. It was lovely to read and to hear all the wonderful poetry on my fellow LCP members.

On the 15^th, I attended Practical Tools to Help You Write Layered Stories, Not Stereotypes with Ángela Álvarez Vélez, an Authors Publish webinar. It was an excellent presentation.

I signed up for the Worldshift Speculative Fiction Writers’ Summit from the 20^th to the 23^rd. A lot of my favourite writing craft experts were speaking, and I watched everything on replay because work.

My first in-person appointment with my new therapist was on the 7^th. Mostly, it was me, talking her ear off, but I did receive a handy guide called the ND polyvagal ladder. I’m to monitor where I am on the ladder daily as a form of mindfulness and to check in with myself so I can hopefully detect and deescalate meltdowns, shutdowns, and burnouts in the future.

I had a massage on the 13^th. Ahhhh! Rest and digest, baby! Parasympathetic nervous system win!

My last appointment with my EAP therapist was on the 20^th. It was a lovely farewell to a therapist who helped me a fair amount in a short period of time.

Then, I signed up for The Force of Choice: Mastering Your Emotional Reactors with Pat Tallman on the 30^th.

What I’m watching and reading

Phil and I watched the final season of The Sandman (Netflix).

I debated whether I’d even mention this because of the substantiated accusations of SA against the author and the possible complicity of his then partner. It is deeply disappointing to me that a person capable of writing such beautiful stories could also be capable of such abuse … and that he attempted to use his neurodivergence as an excuse for said abuse. ND people are, first and foremost, people, and everyone has the potential for evil within them. I believe the women who have come forward. Phil is still in denial. It’s a difficult circle to square. In the end, I’ve decided to try appreciating the art of this problematic man separate from him, but also to attempt to see if I can find signs of the truth in his work.

Morpheus/Dream creates both beauty (dreams) and terror (nightmares). In retaliation for his decades-long imprisonment, Dream traps his captor’s son in an eternal dream. That he later, at Death’s prompting, releases the young man several decades later, doesn’t erase the lost years of life the now-octogenarian must contend with in the time he has left. Dream creates the Corinthian, a nightmare who becomes a serial killer. That he eventually destroys his nightmare and later recreates a moral version of him to help Joanna Constantine find and protect Daniel (Dream’s successor) doesn’t erase the deaths the Corinthian caused or Dream’s responsibility for letting them happen. And having the reformed Corinthian and Joanna get together in the denouement is all kinds of ick. Dream sentences the woman he supposedly loves to hell for 10,000 years because she rejected him. That he later attempts to free her (only to discover that Lucifer has abandoned hell and by default released her before Dream got there) is a totally insufficient act that he only takes because Death (again) nudges him. He declines to help his son, Orpheus, resulting in the events of Orpheus and Euridice, and Orpheus’ living for 2,000 years as an immortal, disembodied head. That he, (again) at Death’s urging, decides to grant his son’s wish and kill him … too little, too late, really. Even though it results in his death—suicide by Fury for the crime of shedding family blood—which he first avoids, nearly resulting in the destruction of his realm and all its dreams, and then neatly sidesteps by voluntarily giving himself into his sister’s care, really falls short of true repentance or change. When the new version of Daniel/Dream attempts to recreate Fiddler’s Green as he has with several other dreams destroyed by Lyta Hall, the Furies’ catspaw, the dream declines. Dream will have to get along without Fiddler’s Green and his sage advice. There must be consequences. In all, Dream perpetrates all kinds of evil and though a Big Deal is made about how much he’s changed, he hasn’t learned a thing by the time he takes Death’s hand. His siblings and subjects tolerate his abandonment and abuse and continue to advise and love him. This is the author’s wish fulfillment coming through. Newsflash: no one gets away with abuse forever.

This is just my opinion, at first blush, within a couple of days of finishing the series.

Then, I finished watching the first season of The Librarians: The Next Chapter (CTV Sci-fi). It wasn’t bad. A new librarian displaced in time who wants nothing more than to return to his beloved Anya 200 years in the past. A new guardian-in-training, desperate to prove herself, and two new sidekicks, one of whom owns the castle the current annex is in, and a former university professor kicked out of academia because of his social media influencer/conspiracy theorist obsession with the library. Stone even returns to bookend the series. They neatly tied off the time issue and storyline at the end of the 12-episode run, which was a smart move in case they weren’t renewed, but reports are that filming of season 2 began in May. Goofy shenanigans abound. I’ll watch season 2.

Next, I watched K-Pop Demon-Hunters (Netflix). I saw an interview with the Huntr/x voice cast on New Rockstars. Arden Cho (voice of “Rumi”), May Hong (voice of “Mira”) and Ji-young Yoo (voice of “Zoey”) were absolutely lovely! Zoey is the most clearly autistic-coded. But Mira has a flat affect and shows signs of rejection-sensitive dysphoria. And Rumi’s secret, half-demon nature is something she’s had to mask her whole life. The tiger demon, Derpy, is OCD. I’m obsessed.

The story is all about overcoming shame and learning to love yourself. That’s all I’ll say. Cause this one’s a feel-good banger and so is the soundtrack.

Then, I finished watching the first season of Revival (CTV Sci-fi). It’s based on a comic I haven’t read. In the small town of Wausau, Wisconsin, recently deceased people resurrect. Police officer Dana Cypress learns that her little sister Martha (Em) is a Reviver, and they try to find out who killed Em and how Revival Day happened. There’s a lot more to the series, but it was good enough to withhold the details and invite you to watch. This is not your typical zombie story.

I finished watching the Disney + limited series Eyes of Wakanda. The animation was great, and so was the story about the War Dogs and the recovery of vibranium artefacts through the ages. And an Iron Fist! And a time travelling Black Panther queen! And a fabulous tie-in to the first Black Panther movie! They packed a lot of lore into these four half-hour episodes.

Finally, I watched Thunderbolts* (Disney +). This is the best Marvel movie I’ve seen in years. It’s the perfect exploration of what it means to be a hero. It’s not about the fight scenes, though there are those. It’s about helping each other weather turbulent times and the mental health challenges that inevitably come with them. No notes (from me … others have done their analyses—look ‘em up if you’re so inclined).

My first listen of the month was The Bridge Kingdom, the first in the Bridge Kingdom series by Danielle L. Jensen. I read the 5^th book in the series back in May and decided to catch up. In this book, Princess Lara and her 12 half-sisters have been indoctrinated into a deep hatred of Ithicana through a regimen of torture over the course of 15 years. One of them will be chosen to become the wife of the new king of Ithicana, Aren, and deliver the Bridge into their father’s hands. But when Lara overhears her “mentor” discussing how everyone but the chosen bride will be killed to prevent word of the plot from getting out of their isolated desert compound, she concocts a scheme of her own to spare her sisters’ lives and sacrifice herself to the mission.

When she arrives in Ithicana, though, Lara learns that everything she was taught about Ithicana is wrong, but not before she inadvertently sends her father the key to Ithicana’s destruction. As I observed back in May, the series is written in a series of duologies. The first book brings the protagonist and their budding romantic relationship to the breaking point before resolving it in the second book. An enjoyable, but dark series.

I decided to finish the Bridge Kingdom series (whatever was available on Audible, anyway) and continued with The Traitor Queen. Lara is the eponymous queen, living in exile after she handed her father the key to possessing the bridge. Ithicana still fights, but when Lara learns that her father has taken Aren captive, she braves the Tempest Seas to return to Ithicana. She has a plan to free Aren and defeat her father, and no expectation of redemption.

I kept rolling with Audible into book 3, The Inadequate Heir. This one dials back the timeline to the onset of Maridrina’s attack on Ithicana, which started when crown prince Keris made an agreement with King Aren to use the bridge to travel to university in Harendell. It was a ruse and Keris an unknowing dupe. His escort viciously murders their Ithicanian guards and begins the invasion, Keris bound to prevent his interference. Keris has a reputation for being bookish (the worst insult in a kingdom of warriors) and of spending his nights drinking, gambling, and womanizing. The only reason he is heir is because all his older brothers have either died in the war against Valcotta or have been killed, often by one another, in their attempts to win their father’s favour. But after this incident, Keris, never his father’s greatest supporter, decides to actively work against him.

Zarrah has been chosen by her aunt, the Empress of Valcotta to be her heir over her cousin Berman. King Silas of Maridrina murdered her mother and bound Zarrah, then a child, beneath her mother’s crucified body, her mother’s head in her lap. Now she wants to kill every Maridinian, starting with the crown prince.

Both Keris and Zarrah are inadequate heirs in this enemies-to-lovers romantasy.

Next, because I’m also reading print and e-books, just at a slower rate, I finished Birch and Jay by Allister Thompson. This post-apocalyptic novel is framed in a fictive future present in which a new group of Seekers is graduating in the community of Norbay decades after climate crisis has left the world in ruins. Jay and his partner Birch, elders of the community, tell the tale of his first mission to the graduates. Jay is sent to Queen’s University but is captured by the militia of Great Toronto—a newly-risen fascist state ruled by The Six—and tried as a spy. Birch, though not a Seeker, follows Jay and runs into troubles of her own.

The worldbuilding in this novel is great. Norbay (North Bay) was founded by women and like-minded men who wanted to learn from the mistakes of the past and rebuild human society in a sustainable way. But they need information to do that. Hence the Seekers, who go out into the ravaged world, by bicycle, and travel to former cities and universities in search of knowledge.

Though secondary characters, the elder women of the novel, Cedar, an elder of Norbay, Elm, a rogue Seeker, and Ning, a toughened lone survivor who saves Birch from a gang of young men, are the real stars of the novel. It’s their hard-won wisdom and tenacity that help Birch save Jay from Great Toronto.

Then, I finished reading Paris 1919 by Margaret MacMillan. This was part of my research for my alternate history solarpunk, which is set in 1936, in between the two world wars. I wanted to find out how the political stage was set at the end of WWI. And boy howdy was this book informative. The decisions taken in Paris in 1919 would not only set WWII in motion, but we are still dealing with the fallout of some of them, like giving Palestine to Israel. It was a difficult read, but I’m glad I persisted.

It’s time to return to Narnia, though. I need a palate-cleanser.

Next, I finished reading Zachary Ying and the Dragon Emperor by Xiran Jay Zhao. Zachary Ying is just trying to survive school and not stress out his mom too much. And play Mythrealm, an AR game. Simon Li is the new Chinese kid at school—of course, the Chinese kids would become friends, eye roll—and it’s not long before Zach learns that he’s the reincarnation of Qin Shi Huang, the first emperor of China, who really needs him to seal the portal to the Chinese underworld before all the spirits escape and wreak havoc on the world. When demons steal Zack’s mom’s soul, he has no choice but to agree because the place he has to go to get his mom’s souls back is—you guessed it—the Chinese underworld. Simon is the reincarnation of Tang Taizong and the third member of their team Melissa Wu, is the reincarnation of Wu Zetien. Together, they travel across China, heist magical artefacts, and defeat figures of myth and history to achieve their goal. A great, fun read!

Back with Danielle L. Jensen’s The Bridge Kingdom series, I finished The Endless War. When I read The Inadequate Heir, I felt Jensen took a slightly different tack with the relationship. Unlike Aren and Lara or later, Ahnna and James, Zarrah and Keris did not overtly or purposely betray one another. They didn’t even appear to betray each other. They met anonymously, though it was clear that she was Valcottan and he was Maridrinian. They bonded over their shared dream of peace between their countries, and when they’re identities were revealed, they initially presented a united front against his father, King Silas Veliant and her aunt, Empress Petra, who are the real perpetrators of the endless war.

Unfortunately, in book 4, Keris becomes king of Maridrina, and his father’s spy master sends evidence to Petra of his relationship with Zarrah, and Petra sends Zarrah to Devil’s Island, a nigh on inescapable prison where the inmates have divided into factions that are continuously fighting one another, and the desperate have resorted to cannibalism to stay alive. So, despite the passionate devotion Zarrah and Keris show one another, this, too, is a grimdark book. The climax and denouement are pretty clever, though.

Finally, I finished the month with The Wild Robot by Peter Brown. Yes, this is a MG book, but it’s so wonderful. Roz wakes up on an island, surrounded by the parts of her (Brown himself characterizes Roz as female) fellow robots. She explores the island, learns the animal speech, and fosters a gosling whose family is killed in an accident.

There are distinctions between the book and the movie (that I watched last year), but they both stand on their own. Lovely, gentle, and life-affirming.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: June 2025 update

July 6, 2025 / Melanie Marttila

My ongoing burnout journey and the desire for definitive change.

This is a loooong post (mostly because of the media I consumed). You have been warned.

Life in general

I held off writing anything in this section until mid-June because not much was happening. I was trying to regulate and improve my sleep hygiene and just feel my feelings.

I thought that my seasonal allergies had peaked on June 1^st, but after a few days of feeling okay, forest fire smoke encroached, and my sinuses started socking in. I’ve been fighting off the sinusitis again. This has meant that my sleep has suffered. So, my rest has not been restful.

My main revelation in June was that I have been experiencing my emotions, but due to various stresses, I’ve been ignoring them. Alexithymia and proprioception issues predominate when my sympathetic nervous system is engaged, and mine has been for much of the past two years.

I’ve been people pleasing too much and need to let others manage their own emotions and their own work. Moving into caregiver territory with my mom means that can be complicated, because there are some forms of emotional (and other) labour I need to take on, but I can take a step back and ask myself if a particular task is something I absolutely must do.

I got an interim medical note at the beginning of the month but, as of the end of the month approached, I was still waiting on the formal medical to be completed and returned. I called the week after my phone appointment with my doctor and was told that I would be called when the medical was ready for pick up. On the 25^th, I called again, and the receptionist advised that the form had been completed on the 5^th (!) and that I would have been called. No one called me. I checked my call log. So, I went in and picked it up and tried not to have a complete meltdown.

Something else I noticed when I logged on to submit my note to my team lead and manager was that deductions for last year’s leave with income averaging continued to be deducted from my pay. The deductions started one or two pays before I went on my leave and should have stopped. I wasn’t in any rush to fix this as I wasn’t suffering financially, and the longer I let things go, the more money I’d get back when the issue was fixed.

My work laptop was also due for replacement. That, too, I was in no rush to deal with.

With the solstice, the heat arrived. We went from relatively mild spring weather to full on heatwave. With only a portable AC unit for the bedroom, all we could do was close all the windows in the house during the day, set the furnace fan to circulate, and turn on every ceiling fan in the house. Still, it was sweat-while-you’re-sitting weather. Enter heat edema and rashes.

We got a lovely respite toward the end of the month before the heat began to ramp up again.

The month in writing

My cutting pass of Reality Bomb continued. Around mid-month, I passed -1,000 words. By month’s end, I’d managed -1,444 words. I have a feeling (a hope?) that there will be much more cutting in the second half of the novel.

I also finished reading a few review books and started on their reviews. I decided that I’d finish the reviews before getting back to RB. Of course, I wrote short reviews for my What I’m watching and reading section, but I hope to place longer reviews in journals.

I also started writing a creative non-fiction piece, wrote another poem, and made a couple of poetry submissions.

In writing business, I attended the Wordstock Special Virtual meeting on the 4^th. This was the festival in jeopardy I mentioned last month. The membership voted to save the organization and rebuild the festival, but whether a festival will happen this year is up in the air. Though a call for volunteers went out, I was not able to contribute.

The Canadian Authors Association annual general meeting (AGM) was on the 21^st. Everyone is feeling the impact of funding cuts and memberships are demanding in-person events that may be beyond their organization’s capacity.

The League of Canadian Poets AGM was on the 24^th. More of the same, but in this case, the membership voted in favour of an in-person event with hybrid options in 2027. We’ll see how things go.

And the SF Canada Board had an ad-hoc meeting on the 30^th to clear up some bits and bobs.

Filling the well

The full strawberry moon in Sagittarius was on the 11^th. I took some lovely pics leading up to the full. The forest fire smoke really made the moon look pink.

Speaking of strawberries …

Summer arrived on the 20^th. Did my altar thing, switched over my seasonal scents, and generally tried to focus on recovery.

The new hawthorn moon in Cancer was on the 25^th. Overcast skies meant pics were hard to come by, though I got a couple, later in the month.

In writing-related events, the monthly virtual TWUC Ontario Open Mic was on the 10^th. I was happy to sit in and listen to some fellow members read from their work.

On Friday the 13^th, I watched an Authors Publish webinar with Cat Rambo, “How to Write Captivating Side Characters.” Cat’s always a fun and informative presenter.

I attended the Canadian Authors Association and SF Canada webinar Playing the Short Game with Douglas Smith. I’m not a prolific short fiction writer, but the information was excellent.

There was another Authors Publish webinar on the 25^th. Erin Swann presented “How to Create and Maintain Authentic Connections with Your Readers.” It was principally about showing and telling, which is something I still struggle with.

And, on a whim, I signed up for a two-part webinar from Free Expressions. The first session of “Tricking your brain into plotting” with Janice Hardy was on the 26^th. Hardy introduced cause and effect question chains, idea baiting, conflict loops, flaw mining, and moral mirrors. In July, we’ll delve deeper into the techniques. I think I’ll like these techniques in action as a pantser/plantser.

I had a phone appointment with my doctor on the 4^th and got an interim medical note for my leave as well as a referral for therapy. I have a feeling I’ll still need support after my sessions through EAP run out.

I had an appointment with my RMT on the 11^th. Though I still reached rest and digest mode, I was in pain for weeks afterward. I’ve been holding a lot of tension in my body.

My next appointment with my EAP therapist was on the 16^th. This time, my assignment was nervous system regulation, specifically stim toys. I’m not eager to go shopping. It’s exhausting. But I have found an old necklace that works as a stim toy. I’ll see what I can figure out on my own before I spend money.

I booked Torvi for her next Furminator on the 19^th. With the hot weather, her shedding was in overdrive, and she was shaggy pants doggo.

I attended another in the PFLS sleep series webinars on the 24^th. This one was about daylight saving time, its myths and health risks. It was a good session with lots of research on the harmful effects of DST. Unfortunately, politicians do not want to stop DST because of business and shipping issues.

My support group met on the 25^th and the topic this month was work life balance, another thing I struggle with.

What I’m watching and reading

During my leave, I’ve been indulging in movies. Brace yourselves. There are a lot of them!

I watched Captain America: Brave New World (Disney +). It wasn’t a bad movie. It wasn’t even a bad Marval movie, but Harrison Ford’s President Ross/Red Hulk stole some of the attention away from Sam and Isaiah’s stories. Joaquin Torres, the new Falcon, was sidelined partway through the movie, and though there were some solid fight scenes, the climactic moment is a quiet one and therefore … anticlimactic. I was also a little put off by the decision to rewrite Sabra, who was an Israeli agent in the comics, as a former widow. There were other changes to casting and scripting that resulted in a movie that, in my opinion, felt scattered. If you try to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one.

Then, I watched Moana 2 (Disney +). The “I want” song, “To Go Beyond,” made me weepy, which made me happy, because it’s been a long time since I’ve felt that. And the story was lovely. Moana is made a tautai, or master wayfinder, and she receives a vision from her ancestor tautai Vasa that she must find the island of Motufetu and restore the ocean currents to reunite all the island peoples, because alone, Moana’s people will die. So, Moana embarks of a risky adventure. It’s all about persistence and the power of community. Enjoyed immensely.

Then, I watched Dead Like Me: Life after Death (Prime). Phil and I had watched and enjoyed the series in the way back and I knew the movie existed, but I hadn’t actually watched it until now. In the opening scene, George and the other reapers stand outside Der Waffle Haus as it burns. Soon, they are summoned by their new head reaper, Cameron, who tells them that Rube finally “got his lights.” George suspect there’s something wrong when she can’t reap her first assignment. Chaos ensues. A fun bit of nostalgia.

I watched the documentary Brats (Disney +). Andrew McCarthy, seeking some meaning or closure decades after the “Brat Pack” achieved notoriety, interviews many of the members of, and actors peripheral to, the pack. McCarthy and Emilio Estevez still share resentment about being called brats that even an interview with David Blum, the entertainment journalist who coined the term Brat Pack couldn’t dispel. Demi Moore, Ally Sheedy, and Lea Thompson are more measured in their responses, as are Timothy Hutton and Jon Cryer, all of whom have had successes beyond the Brat Pack era. It’s Rob Lowe who sheds the most light on the issue and provides a positive spin. They were the new wave of cinema and informed many of the movies in following decades. The documentary ends with McCarthy finally getting a call back from Judd Nelson, paying off the running gag throughout the film that Nelson was purposely making himself unavailable. Nelson never appears. A thought-provoking and nostalgic film.

Next, I finished watching Beef (Netflix). Two characters enter each others’ orbits through an incident of road rage. A massive number of poor decisions on both their parts ends with one of them shot and in intensive care in the hospital and the other recovering by his side. Maybe life goes on?

Then, I watched The Residence (Netflix). This little gem is Knives Out meets Scandal meets The Extraordinary Birder. The Head Usher of the White House is murdered, and Cordelia Cupp, the world’s best detective and avid birder, is brought in to find out whodunnit. In a second timeline, a future congress hearing tries to get to the root of the mystery. There are loads of red herrings, but all the clues are presented as each suspect is investigated. The final meeting in which Cupp unveils the murderer is a bit unusual in that Cupp announces that she has no idea who the culprit is, but as she works through the events of the night of the murder, she zeroes in on the guilty party. Very entertaining. I hope they continue the series.

I watched They Cloned Tyrone (Netflix). This movie is classified as an SF comedy mystery. I’d replace mystery with horror myself. Fontaine is a drug dealer and is shot by a rival while collecting payment from client, friend, and pimp, Slick. When Fontaine shows up the next day looking for his payment, Slick and one of his girls, YoYo, know something’s wrong. Together, the three uncover a secret underground compound that reminds me of the facility in Supacell (which came out a year later), where experiments are being conducted on clearly unwilling Black subjects. The reveal of the purpose of this secret project is combined with an interesting twist that speaks to internalized racism. The ending promises that the trio’s adventures will continue.

I checked out the live action remake of Snow White (Disney +). Everyone should know the story, so I’m not worrying about spoilers. There were a few new songs that I wasn’t sure were needed, though Gal Godot isn’t horrible (?) as the evil queen, and they changed up the story. Instead of a prince, we have Jonathan, a Robin Hood-esque leader of a band of freedom fighters. There is a little more attention paid to the dwarves, which I liked, and Snow has more agency. She confronts the evil queen/stepmother, who ends up being consumed by her own magic mirror. Apples are more symbolically present as well, as a symbol of the healthy, happy, communal kingdom, as well as the evil queen’s assassination method.

Then, I watched Okja (Netflix). Oh, my god, y’all. It was devastating. Yes, it’s another Bong Joon Ho jam and has his signature surreal social commentary. Tilda Swinton (in her dual role as twins) and Jake Gyllenhaal chew up every scene they’re in, but damn this one’s sad.

Lucy Mirando becomes CEO of the Mirando Corp and presents herself as an environmentalist. 26 “super pigs”—a genetically engineered species that looks like a hippo—have been placed with farmers around the world. They consume less, produce less greenhouse gas, and, as Mirando says, they taste good. At maturity, the best super pig will be selected, and then . . . the livestock will go into production.

Mija has raised Okja from a piglet in South Korea. When Dr. Johnny Wilcox declares Okja the best super pig, the Mirando team ship her to Seoul (en route to New York). A heartbroken Mija follows. As Mija finds the truck Okja is in and dangles from the back of it, a group of animal liberation front (ALF) activists free Okja. They replace the black box that has recorded Okja’s biological data with a recording device and intend to send her back to Mirando to record the atrocities committed against the super pigs after which they will break her out again. Mija wants to go back to the mountains with Okja, but the ALF translator says she agrees. A note here: the ALF members are little better than Mirando and are totally complicit in what happens to Okja and the other super pigs.

Things go horribly wrong for Okja after that and though Mija manages to save Okja in the end, hundreds of other super pigs are still sent to processing. An excellent movie but brace yourselves.

Next, I finished watching the first season of Super Team Canada (Crave). This silly and self-deprecating (i.e., thoroughly Canadian) animated series from Atomic Cartoons is … okay? I wanted to check it out because of the voice talent—Cobie Smulders, Will Arnett, and Kevin McDonald, in particular. Also, Bryan Adams wrote the theme song.

I didn’t appreciate the animation style, and the team itself caters to stereotypes. Niagara Falls (Smulders) controls water and is an environmental crusader. Breakaway (Arnett) is a hometown hockey player with explosive pucks. Chinook is an Inuit hero who generates ice. Her shamanic aunties make appearances. Poutine … blasts his namesake and is obsessed with sex/himself. Ew? RCM-PC is a robotic mailbox. Sasquatchewan is their tank. And the PM (McDonald) looks like John A. McDonald and presents as a harried white-collar worker. The stories are nonsensical (I know that’s the point).

It feels like this series was thrown together last year when it became apparent that Trump was going to win again, even though the President looks like Bush (Jr). Essentially, the team can’t work together and lucks out more often than not. A solid meh.

As a departure from the heartbreak of Okja, my next movie was Renfield (Netflix). I knew it would be total camp and that’s what I was looking for. Robert Montague Renfield is Dracula’s familiar (read bug-eater) and in the modern day, he’s still tasked with finding his master victims. In search of people no one will miss, Renfield attends a support group for people in codependent and abusive relationships and grabs horrible people for his master. One of these missions goes horribly wrong when a mob executioner comes to kill one of Renfield’s chosen victims. Renfield ends up killing the executioner and gets entangled in the ensuing police investigation. Of course, Renfield also takes the advice of his support group and tries to escape his abusive relationship while the mob boss encounters Dracula and makes a deal with the vampire. Light and fun. Totally illogical climax and denouement, but it was the palate cleanser I needed.

Then, I finished the full run of Legion (Disney +). Because David Haller (Legion) is the son of Charles Xavier and an omega-level mutant, this series constantly asks you to question reality and rationality. Is what you’re seeing in David’s head, the astral plane, or is it the real (and surreal) world? Is David a powerful mutant or is he truly mentally ill? Maybe he’s both.

David is adopted and when his powers manifest, he’s diagnosed with schizophrenia and institutionalized. Years later, he escapes with the help of another inmate (Sydney) who can switch consciousnesses with anyone she touches. David and Syd are picked up by Summerland operatives and eventually, it becomes apparent that David has a dark passenger, Amahl Farouk, the Shadow King, who has been manipulating him throughout his life. Dark and often confusing, Legion nonetheless has a compelling story. David is an (extremely) unreliable narrator and does some truly despicable things during his journey. Thought-provoking.

Next, I watched Argylle (Apple TV +). This fun but over-the-top spy comedy was directed by Matthew Vaughan of Kingsman fame. Having watched all three Kingsman movies (The Secret Service was fun, The Golden Circle too convoluted to be truly enjoyable, and the third, The King’s Man, such a departure in tone from the previous two I wasn’t sure what to make of it), I was expecting wacky. What I got was a movie that overwhelmed my ability to suspend my disbelief. I’mma just spoil it. It won’t affect your viewing if you still want to watch it.

Elly Conway is a spy thriller novelist who’s trying to finish her latest novel. After her mother offers a critique, she finds herself blocked. On the train to visit her mother, Elly is attacked and then saved by Aiden Wilde, an actual spy. Wilde tells Elly that her books reflect real events and that she must finish her novel to help Wilde and his superior, Alfie (also the name of Elly’s Scottish fold cat who experiences some serious abuse in the movie) take down the bad guys. When they reach Alfie (the spy, not the cat), he reveals that Elly is agent R. Kylle (which she transformed into Argylle) and that she is the spy she’s been writing about the whole time (the whole time!).

Things get surreal from there. Elly’s parents aren’t her parents! She remembers who she is! Elly’s one of the bad guys! But no, she’s not; she was just acting! Then she’s triggered ala Winter Soldier! It culminates in this LSD-fuelled final battle in which agents Kylle and Wilde dance/fight amid multi-coloured smoke bombs and then Elly drives knives into her boot soles, skates on spilled oil, and stabs the rest of the baddies. At the very end, as Elly is launching her final Argylle novel, the “real” Argylle identifies himself in the audience. A mid-credit scene shows a young Argylle to be one of the Kingsmen.

Wha?

I also decided to keep up with my reading while I was off and so there are a lot of books I read in June! Sorry, not sorry!

I read Swordheart by T. Kingfisher (Ursula Vernon). The more T. Kingfisher books I read, the more I want to read. Halla is a widow who’s become housekeeper for her uncle-by-marriage. When he dies and leaves everything to her, the rest of his family imprisons Halla until she agrees to marry a sweaty-palmed cousin, after which Halla is certain they will kill her to get her inheritance themselves. In desperation, Halla determines to un-alive herself so that her remaining blood relatives might benefit from the inheritance, but when she draws a sword to do the deed, Sarkis, the immortal warrior bound to the sword and whomever wields it, appears.

Halla is adorable and babbles in a very ND manner. Sarkis is largely confused but determined to do his best. As with other Kingfisher novels, they end up saving each other. LOVED!

Then, I listened to Summon the Keeper by Tanya Huff. This is the first book in the Keeper Chronicles, the third of which I read a year or so ago. Keeper Claire Hansen is summoned to the Elysian Fields Guesthouse where the owner absconds and leaves her holding the deed, and the responsibility for a portal to hell in the furnace room, a sleeping keeper-gone-evil, the ghost of a French sailor, and an elevator that takes its passengers to other worlds. Will Claire, her cat Austin, and the guesthouse’s cook Dean be able to sort it all out before Claire is permanently bound to the site? Claire’s sister and Mom make appearances as well. A lovely start to an enjoyable series.

I finished reading Beneath the Rising by Premee Mohamed. Described as Lovecraft Country meets All the Birds in the Sky, this novel combines cosmic horror with the story of two childhood friends who may (or may not) love one another as they travel the world to stop Them from breaking through. Sounds improbable you say? It does, until you realize that one of the two teen protagonists is a wunderkind who has single-handedly cured disease, helped stop plastic pollution and runaway climate change, and practically put an end to poverty. Johnny (Joanna) is all that and a bag of chips, but she’s got secrets. When her latest invention, a functioning fusion reactor that promises to provide the world’s energy needs, “calls” to Them, Johnny destroys her invention and all its blueprints, sends her friend Nick’s family into hiding, and sets off on a journey with Nick to close the gate between this world and Theirs.

As Johnny’s secrets come to light, Nick questions everything and must confront the person he thought was his best friend. Even victory is a tragedy in this one, folks.

Next, I listened to The Witches of Moonshyne Manor by Bianca Marais. Moonshyne Manor is a distillery and the hereditary home of the Sisterhood—six octogenarian witches, one of whom has been in prison for 33 years for a heist that resulted in the death of another of their number, who lingers as a ghost, communicating through her familiar, a crow named Widget. A mob of angry men want to demolish the manor and build a men’s fantasy retreat. Another man, a relative of Ivy, who inherited the manor, wants what he believes was stolen from him. Behind on their mortgage payments—the reason the mob is using to validate their destructive scheme—Queenie, has made a dire deal with Charon. The fates of the manor and the Sisterhood hang on the release of Ruby, who knows where the stolen goods are hidden, but when she returns to the manor, she is not the woman she used to be. Enter Persephone, a young feminist who wants to save the manor and the Sisterhood, if she could just understand the web of relationships and betrayals that binds the sisterhood together. Excellent!

Then, I finished reading Christy Climenhage’s The Midnight Project. Raina and Cedric are disgraced genetic engineers who run a bespoke reproduction assistance clinic in Long Harbour, Labrador, during what we might describe as the pre-apocalypse. They admit to being idealistic/naïve in failing to ensure their last contract included a clause to prevent the use of their gene editing method in ways which would result in destruction to ecosystems. Because that’s exactly what happened. The company they worked for used their gene editing technique to produce insect-resistant crops (Monsanto, anyone?). When bees and other beneficial pollinators began to die, the company blamed Raina and Cedric, fired them, and bound them with non-disclosure agreements so that they couldn’t even defend themselves.

As more and more species go extinct, climate change threatens coastal cities, and gangs of hoppers—rogue genetic modification attempts gone horribly wrong and released into an unsuspecting world—hunt humans, Raina and Cedric are barely getting by. Enter billionaire Burton Sykes, who says he wants them to create a viable—and more importantly ethical, even noble—human hybrid capable of riding out the coming global destruction in the depths of the ocean. While they are savvier in their contract negotiations this time, when they see signs that Sykes is not abiding by the terms of that contract, Raina and Cedric must take action to protect themselves and the nascent Ceph they’ve come to love. A thought-provoking and entertaining read.

Next, I finished We Bury Nothing by Kate Blair (coming Oct 2025). This engaging young adult mystery is written in dual timelines. While I think the first chapter would have worked better as a prologue, I understand that most editors and publishers aren’t fond of them. The chapter stands out because it’s not explicitly part of either timeline and is written from a point of view that doesn’t return in any other part of the novel. Prologues are okay when they serve a purpose, and chapter 1 works better as a prologue, in my opinion.

But I digress. Chapter 1 is from the point of view of George, a young guard at a German POW camp in the fictitious town of Westonville during WWII. He discovers the body of Erich Stein, one of the prisoners in the camp. There’s no indication of how he escaped, only that a wound on his head was the likely cause of his death. George knows Erich and weeps over the waste of a young life.

The first timeline tells Erich’s story, from the long train ride to Camp 43 to his untimely death.

In the present day, Keira has come to Westonville as one of several high school graduates to work at the Heritage Site that Camp 43 has become. She, Asha, Ephram, and Ruth submitted proposals for projects to work on over the summer all related to Camp 43. They’re all trying to get the Hopper Scholarship, which will pay for a full university degree. Keira’s project is to solve the mystery of Erich Stein’s death, and the scholarship is her only hope of attending university.

But when Ruth is found drowned after a local party, Keira finds herself trying to solve two mysteries and as the clues come together, she realizes the deaths—no, murders—are related. A fascinating and well-written novel. Loved!

I raced through Maggie Stiefvater’s The Listeners. This one’s a Mary Poppins read—practically perfect in every way! The Listeners is Stiefvater’s debut adult novel, and it was one of those reads that, while I almost couldn’t put it down, I was also already mourning the end of a story and world I wanted to stay in. And the characters! I subscribe to her Substack (surprise, surprise!) and in a recent post, Stiefvater said she stives to create reading experiences that invite return and study. She’s done that in spades. Adored!

June Porter Hudson is the general manager of the Avallon Hotel in West Virginia when the US enters WWII and is blindsided by the owner’s decision to offer the hotel to the government as a place to house foreign nationals (read Axis diplomats and their families) until they can safely return them to their home countries. Tucker Minnick is an FBI agent on a quest for redemption. This diplomatic mission may be his last. Complicating matters is the hotel’s sweetwater, which bubbles up in hot and cold springs and is pumped throughout the hotel. It takes on the emotions of the hotel’s patrons, which is why June strives to ensure everyone’s happiness. But with the Avallon’s current occupants, the sweetwater is taking on a lot of negativity. And when the sweetwater is unhappy, bad things happen.

June is the Avallon. Tucker is the Agency. Can they come together to save what they love?

Then, I read Tom Leduc’s Palpitations. This is Tom’s second poetry collection published by Latitude 46. The poet states that each poem in this collection represents a “spark that can burn out in the dark or set the world on fire.” Divided into five sections, Leduc recounts the palpitations that have shaped his life. He admits that some poems may be made up but cannily declines to say which ones.

The first section, Freefall, addresses the palpitations of high school, sexual awakening, fumbling first love, and the legacy of familial wounds. Opposing Influences dances between youth and age, family life and relationships never realized, spirituality and religion. These palpitations are full of reflection, realization, and regret. The Night We Burned the Dragon’s Head is about rites of passage, revisiting the past, speculating about the future, and settling into the mindful present. The fourth section, Murmuration of Covid, may be self-explanatory, but the moments of the pandemic, a Christmas without family, queuing for vaccinations, the fifty-seventh covid test, physical distancing, and Zoom meetings are all worth revisiting. We were all there. The Marble King is populated with favourite places, things, people, and body parts, moments of crisis, and moments of dissolution.

Palpitations is a worthwhile read. You will resonate with each moment.

I gave the audiobooks a break toward the end of the month and listened to Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History: The Supernova in the East parts 1 through 6. Each episode of the podcast was about 4 hours long (!) It happened to dovetail with some of the other historical reading/research I was doing.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: May 2025 update

June 1, 2025 / Melanie Marttila

My little love got sick, and I realized I’m not out of the burnout woods yet.

Life in general

Content warning for the generalized ick of pet parenthood. Much discussion of poop.

Torvi gave us a scare at the beginning of the month. On the night of the 2^nd, after some “soft serve” poops during the day, she was up all night with vomiting and diarrhea. Phil, as usual, shouldered the bulk of the work, staying up, or getting up to let Torvi out so she could relieve herself. I cleaned up the vomit in the house and took her out a couple of times. We did not feed her until supper the following day hoping her system would benefit from the “rest,” but she wasn’t interested in partaking when we put her kibbles out on Sunday. We tried to encourage her to drink so she wouldn’t get dehydrated.

If she didn’t improve by Monday, we’d call the vet. Fortunately, the continual stream of liqui-poop calmed down on Sunday and Torvi started to show interest in food again.

This was only one of several events/days that made what should have been a restorative 4-day weekend dysregulating.

I’d taken May 1^st and 2^nd off—‘cause I always take the quarter and cross-quarter observances off—and though the pressure seemed to be off on the big project at work, things still needed to get done, so I was still in a place where I had minimal/no spoons after work. I engaged in a little bedtime revenge procrastination on Wednesday night anticipating being able to sleep in the next day.

But Thursday started out with Phil’s cell phone ringing—since our mom health challenges last year, we both keep our phones on all the time, just in case. He hung up. Moments later, my phone rang. It was the furnace technician announcing his imminent arrival. I told Phil I was going back to sleep and he got up to deal with the tech. It was around 7:40 am.

Torvi set up a-barking when the tech arrived, and Phil locked her in the bedroom with me to keep her out of the tech’s way. It was a choice. She whined the whole time, and I did not get any more sleep.

The tech’s visit was blessedly short, but then Mom called wanting to go to the bank. She had to pay her taxes. Phil agreed to take her.

And that was it for me trying to sleep. I got up, already dysregulated out of the gate. So, I took my time with my morning ritual and felt a little calmer.

Returning from my walk with Torvi, I noticed a car in the driveway. I went to Mom’s, as I do every day, and when I got home, I saw that a friend was visiting, out of the blue. A pleasant surprise, but another disruption to my day’s plans. I had wanted to go shopping for another friend’s birthday present. I had my route and tasks all lined up but had to defer departure.

I’d also wanted to see if I could stop off at my publisher to pick up some books for review.

I set off on my planned shopping trip—and I should note here that I hate shopping—and got home just after 5. Unfortunately, I also forgot my Flare Calmer and was a bit buzzy. The publisher emailed that she was out of town, and I’d have to pick up the books the next week. Because I had taken off so late, I didn’t have a chance to deal with my email or read blog posts or anything. Supper arrived and then Torvi’s evening walk and by the time I finished clearing the daily slate it was after 11 pm.

I ended up revenge procrastinating until almost 3 am in a vain attempt to regulate before I got to bed. Surely, I could sleep in on Friday . . . Alas, no. I could not. The day was better, but when I went to ship my friend’s birthday package, the post office’s computer was down. So, no shipping and further disruption to my plans. That was the day Torvi started to have her difficulties. Though I got to bed at a reasonable time, there was little sleep Friday night.

Saturday, I managed to get the package shipped, but Mom was sick, Torvi was still sick, and Phil and I were heading to a family combo birthday celebration. The celebration itself was lovely, and the food was great, but I was masking my worry over both Mom and Torvi. Torvi slept through the night, and I slept through the night and Sunday seemed to be salvaged.

But Torvi’s health did not stabilize. Despite hand feeding and special dinners of rice, veggies and chicken, the diarrhea did not stop. We made an appointment with the vet.

It was likely Torvi had giardia, also called “beaver fever,” which is transmissible to humans.

I brought a ploop sample and came away with seven days worth of meds and a package of canine probiotics for her food. They couldn’t confirm giardia until the test results came back but were willing to treat the situation as if it was giardia and proceed with next steps when the results were returned.

As of the 9^th, Torvi was eating her medicated food and the diarrhea had stopped, but we were still waiting on an even half-formed stool. Which she had on the 10^th, much to our relief. She started consistently sleeping through the night, which allowed Phil and I to sleep. Things were improving.

The test results came back on the 12^th, and I received a follow up call from Torvi’s vet. No parasites were found, which surprised me. We were to finish the course of antibiotics and continue the probiotics to support Torvi’s return to “normal.”

And then came the realization, thanks to Torvi’s health issues, that I had not processed or taken care of myself through the family health trials of the past couple of years. I persisted in working throughout. Though I was getting back to my creative pursuits, I was still burned out, and it was time to do something about it.

So, I made an appointment with my doctor, reached out to EAP, and started on my road. I had my first appointment on Friday, May 16^th. She assigned me some reading/research on Internal Family Systems, I ordered some books and found some YouTube videos to watch.

At an ND coffee chat at work, someone shared this Substack: https://drdevonprice.substack.com/p/you-might-not-recover-from-burnout

Not gonna lie. It hit hard.

On May 20^th, the Tuesday following the Victoria Day long weekend, I started a sick leave that will carry me through to the end of June. Putting my own mask on first.

On the 27^th, I had my second session with EAP. Still getting stuff off my chest. My assignment before next session: get in touch with my emotions, ‘cause I’ve been repressing them too frickin’ long.

And now it’s time to move onto more pleasant topics, like the weird but ultimately lovely spring we’ve been having.

The weird part is that, despite the climate change thing, we actually had a winter this year and it held on long into spring. It’s really just been in the last couple of weeks that the plant world seems to have woken up. And now it’s playing catchup. HARD.

Usually, by the Victoria Day long weekend, the pin cherries and crab apples are in bloom, with lilacs in bud. We were about a week late this year, but in the last week of May, I gloried in the smells of the blossoms, and now that the lilacs were coming out, I celebrated by cutting a couple branches from the lilacs in my back yard and brought them in so I could revel in the smell even more.

I caught a spectacular halo around the sun while looking for the first sliver of the moon after the new.

The Canada goslings are out! I walked a stretch of Lily/Junction Creek, and the families were everywhere. Every couple of metres, there was another gaggle, and because I was with Torvi, mom and dad swiftly ushered their goslings into the creek. But I caught one proud papa posturing before mama could do her duty.

Urban wildlife makes me furiously happy.

The month in writing

I finally finished revisions on the final chapter of Reality Bomb on May 4^th (may the 4^th be with you!), but now the draft had ballooned to 123,077 words (!)

It was time to start my cutting pass.

At the end of the month, I’d gone through 12 and a half chapters and cut 692 words. At this rate, I’ll have to get more severe if I want to get even close to a 110k draft.

I wrote a poem and made a couple of poetry submissions before the end of the month. I also started work on a CNF flash piece that I hope to submit somewhere as well.

I received some disappointing news on the 21^st. My application to the Banff Science Fiction program was not successful. This is particularly sad given that I’d withdrawn or chosen not to apply for various opportunities to make financial room for this program. I do have some available spending room for other stuff, now, but I’m not jumping in immediately. I think a low-spending year might be a good change.

In writing business, the Writers’ Union of Canada’ pre-AGM meeting fell on the 22^nd and the AGM itself on the 29^th.

There was an SF Canada board meeting on the 26^th. Efficient, friendly. Stuff got done.

Also on the 26^th, I was advised of another literary festival’s impending demise. As the special virtual meeting for this won’t be held until June, I’ll wait to disclose details.

Filling the well

The month began with Beltaine (I spell it the way I spell it). I lit up my altar and thought about growing things.

The full flower moon in Scorpio was on the 12^th.

The new willow moon in Gemini was on the 26^th.

The orchid I thought would never recover bloomed!

In terms of writing-related events, I attended “Writing the World We Need” with Dani Abernathy on the 2^nd. Good affirmation of the need to embrace diversity in all its forms in our work.

On the 10^th, Vera Constantineau and I gave our Mothers Day poetry reading at the Copper Cliff branch of the Greater Sudbury Public Library. It was a lovely, intimate affair.

I signed up for a Bianca Marais webinar, “Circling the Building of Your Work” on the 13^th. An interesting approach.

The final Finnish class of the spring session was on the 5^th. Feeling accomplished and improved. I continued to practice with Duolingo, Inside Finnish Life, and a handful of YouTube channels. A classmate offered the link to an app, which I haven’t tried yet.

On the 3^rd, I attended a combined family birthday party. We hadn’t managed to get together for Easter, so it was a nice, relaxed night out at a favourite local restaurant, Ali Baba’s.

The May Good Company meeting was on the 28^th. The topic this month was about co-occurring conditions. I didn’t think I had many of these, but I have insomnia, GERD, eczema, restless legs, and I had menorrhagia and dysmenorrhea, and anemia. Just because I haven’t had EDS, MCAS, ME/CFS, IBS, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, or other significant issues doesn’t mean I’ve escaped co-occurring conditions altogether.

I had two days off work at the beginning of the month and Victoria Day long weekend, both of which were much-needed though only somewhat restorative (see above). Then, I started my sick leave after the May long weekend.

What I’m watching and reading

My first watch of May was The Book Thief (Disney +). It’s the sweet but harrowing tale of Liesel, whose Communist mother, after the death of her husband and son, gives her daughter up for adoption. Death, the narrator of the tale, takes an interest in the illiterate girl who will become the book thief.

I finished watching the first season of Daredevil: Born Again (Disney +). I like that it’s more or less a continuation of the Netflix series. The same darkness, the same Catholic self-flagellation, and the same bloody violence. I wasn’t as impressed by all the decisions made. To tell you which ones would be spoilers. All this to say that this was a solid entry in Marvel Television. They’ve finally found their footing after a couple of years of WTF series (Secret Invasion, anyone?).

Then, I finished watching the first season of Watson (CBS). A year after Holmes and Moriarty seemingly die by plunging off Reichenback Falls, Dr. John Watson returns to Philadelphia with a traumatic brain injury (TBI) that he’s still recovering from to open the Holmes Clinic. He’s a geneticist and has assembled a team of highly skilled young doctors to help him solve impossible medical mysteries using the deductive reasoning techniques he learned from Holmes. He’s also attempting to reconnect to his estranged wife Mary even as she asks for a divorce. And before the first episode ends, there’s evidence that Moriarty did not die and has nefarious plans for Watson, his team, and their clinic. The first episode was a bit of a fire hose, but the series settled into a pattern after that and resolved Watson’s relationship woes after a couple more episodes, streamlining the season’s throughline. Medical mystery of the week complicated by Moriarty’s machinations. It’s been renewed for a second season. I’ll watch it.

Next was the third season of Will Trent (ABC). Everyone’s dealing with the fall out from last season. You know, Will arresting Angie? No sooner is that sorted out, when Will is traumatized by accidentally shooting a kid, “saves” Faith’s son, Jeremy, from a drug bust by saying he’s a confidential informant, which he must then become, and Ormewood finds out he has a brain tumour. Add to that a fraudulent and murderous cult, a childhood friend of Will’s who’s now a gang leader (and technically Jeremy’s “boss”), and you have a wild and entertaining season. There’s more, but this series is one of the best to come out of network TV. You should catch it.

I also finished the latest season (six, I think?) of The Rookie (ABC). Bailey is hunted by her recently-escaped criminal ex. Nyla and James are trying to balance her police work with his community activism. Tim and Lucy are trying to figure out what they are. There are two new rookies, one of whom is a problem. The usual assortment of crises abounds, and a few old enemies show up to make things interesting. I’ll keep watching.

Then, I finished watching the latest season of Grey’s Anatomy (ABC). Yes, I’m still watching 20 seasons on. The usual soap opera, ending with a literal blast.

Next, I watched the first season of X-Men ’97 (Disney +). The animation is a significant improvement over the original series, and I liked the stories better. I won’t say more, but if you’re a fan of the original or the comics, you’ll probably love X-Men ’97.

I finished season two of The Last of Us (HBO). This one’s rough. If you’ve played the game, you know what happens, and though I haven’t played the game, I had some spoilery insight from New Rockstars. Still, episode two hit hard, and the rest of the season dealt with the emotional fallout of those events. Bella Ramsey is STELLAR. The final episode ends on a cliffhanger before restarting the Seattle timeline, this time, from Abby’s perspective.

Next up was the final season of The Handmaid’s Tale (CTV Drama). I’m just going to spoil it all. You have been warned. June and Serena have a moment on a train, which June then shoves Serena and her baby Noah off, albeit to save their lives. June and Nicole reunite with June’s mother in Alaska. Serena, after a brief respite with a commune, is taken to New Jerusalem. June leaves Nicole in Alaska and hurls herself back into the fight. Their first target, Jezebel’s – to kill the commanders and free the former handmaids – is foiled by a weak-willed Nick, admittedly in a tough spot, who gives away the plot to save his own skin, resulting in the mass murder of all the girls but Janine at Jezebel’s. Reeling from the betrayal, June despairs, then rallies, deciding to infiltrate Serena’s upcoming wedding to kill the commanders and free the handmaids there. While this plot is more successful, the high commanders survive and June and Moira are caught with their group of handmaids, including Janine. They’re about to be executed when Luke and a bunch of Mayday resistance fighters open fire and American troops arrive. Serena, captured in the chaos, reveals where the high commanders plan to meet. June convinces Lawrence to plant a bomb on the high commander’s plane, but the other commanders arrive, and he must board. At the last minute, Nick arrives and boards the plane too. June watches as the plane ascends and then explodes. The last episode is slow and reflective. Janine is reunited with her daughter, Charlotte, Serena is sent to a refugee camp, June’s mom arrives with Nicole, and June and Luke go their separate ways, each determined to destroy what remains of Gilead and find Hannah. They promise to reunite in Colorado, where Hannah lives. There’s some Aunt Lydia action, and Emily returns in the final episode, so we get an update on her, too. And . . . of course, June begins to write a book about her experiences. I would have liked to see more of Moira, but the focus of the last episode was firmly on the white women. Here endeth the spoilers.

I watched Mickey 17 (Crave) over several sittings. Loved this absurdist sci-fi and its message that kindness and love will overcome fascism and cruelty every time.

Finally, I watched the latest series of Doctor Who (Disney +). Phil started watching it with me, but lost interest. Ncuti Gatwa hasn’t captured him, I guess. I thought the season was interesting and, in Russel T. Davies fashion, many of the disparate episodal stories all came together in the finale. The only spoiler I’ll offer: the next Doctor is being played by Billie Piper?!

My first listen of the month was Japanese Fairy Tales, by Yei Theodora Ozaki. While there are some similarities to European fairy tales, most notably the tale of a princess, or hime, whose stepmother wishes to kill her (like Snow White), the tales are not often as cruel or bloody. Several of the villains renounce their evil ways. Many of the tales focus on animals as helpers, and some of the tales are bittersweet.

Then, I listened to Mary Robinette Kowal’s The Martian Contingency. I love these books so hard! The last novel in the series followed Nicole Wargin on the moon while Elma York, the Lady Astronaut, was on her way to Mars. Now, we return to Elma’s story on a second Mars mission where she and her fellow colo—sorry, inhabitants—are busy paving the way for the next wave of families from Earth. She had to stay in orbit with Stetson Parker on that first mission. This time, she gets to land and work with her husband, Nathaniel (!) Seriously, stable, loving relationships are at the heart of these books. And Kowal writes them so well! But soon, gaps in the first mission logs become apparent, and as Elma investigates, the mystery deepens until an equipment failure puts future landings in jeopardy. As the truth is unearthed, Elma learns the terrible secret of the first Mars mission and must bring her crew together as Martians to get Bradbury Base back on track before Mission Control pulls the plug on Mars altogether.

Next was Traditional Irish Fairy Tales by James Stephens. These are tales from the Fenian Cycle of Irish mythology framed by an attempt by Finnian, the Abbott of Moville, to convert Tuan mac Cairill to Christianity. Tuan recounts his origins and then launches into the tales of the Fenian Cycle. Very different from the other cultural tales I’ve read recently and very good.

Then, I finished the Tensorate Series by Neon Yang. This is a collection of Yang’s three novellas, The Black Tides of Heaven, The Red Threads of Fortune, and The Descent of Monsters, which focus on Akeha and Mokoya, the twin children of the Protector. The first novella is Akeha’s story, following them and their sibling Mokoya as they are sold to a monastery as part of a deal made before they were born, from childhood to adulthood, when Akeha makes the decision to support the Machinist rebels.

The second novella follows Mokoya, grievously injured in the climactic events of the first novella and still grieving the loss of her child. She was a prophet and lost that ability, as well. She runs from her grief by hunting naga (dragons) until she is forced to face it, and a huge naga that can tens.

The third novella is an epistolary one, told through journal entries and reports, redacted and whole. It covers an investigation into atrocities committed at a classified research facility that threaten to expose secrets the Protectorate wants to remain hidden.

While I enjoyed the first two novellas, the third was a little tedious, especially when it came to the redacted reports. I loved Yang’s worldbuilding, though. Every child gets to choose their own gender and is offered state-sponsored reassignment surgery provided by tensors. Magic is called tensing, its practitioners, tensors. And they have raptors as mounts and animal companions. Very cool.

I listened to a short audiobook, Listening to the Big Bang by Brian Greene. He covers the history of the big bang theory and all the physicists who contributed to it, opposed it, and where the theory stands today.

Next, I finished the romantasy The Twisted Throne by Danielle L. Jensen, book 5 in The Bridge Kingdom series. What is it with me and reading things out of order? Because Jensen focuses on a different character’s journey every couple books (so, it’s more like a series of interconnected duologies), I started at a good time.

Book 5 tells Ahnna’a story. She’s not only a princess of Ithacana and twin sister to it’s king, Ahren, but a soldier who put her life on the line for her people. The war left Ithacana impoverished, though, and Ahnna blames herself, so she willingly goes to Harendell when its king calls in the terms of a long-held agreement between the two kingdoms. Ahnna will be wed to King Edward’s son, William, who is an irresponsible spendthrift. Still, Ahnna needs Harendell’s wealth to feed her starving people. But the longer she stays in Harendell, the more political intrigue she uncovers, and the closer she gets to the wrong prince.

Then, I listened to Great Heroes and Heroines of Hawaiian Heritage by Leilani Basham, another Great Courses and Audible Originals collaboration. Basham covers some of the key figures, men and women, of Hawaiian history from the 19^th and 20^th centuries and how the colonization of Hawaii was and is still being resisted and shaped by its Indigenous people. This tragically familiar history hits all the marks, from cultural genocide to the recovery of the Hawaiian language and culture. Existence is resistance.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: February 2025 update

March 3, 2025 / Melanie Marttila

Tolerating ambiguity. It’s harder than it looks.

A picture of spuce against a cloudy sky.

Life in general

I’m doing what I can to manage dysregulation and my health in light of the political shenanigans taking place here in Canada as well as south of the border.

We got a reprieve on the tariff situation, then tariffs were imposed on steel and aluminum. On top of the general tariff on all Canadian imports to take effect next month. Our government continues to try to mount a defense.

From The Skimm Daily (week of Feb 17):

“Of Trump’s 75 (and counting) [executive orders], 17 overhaul foreign policy, shifting US stances on Russia, Ukraine, and Gaza. [14] target immigration, fueling his mass deportation blitz. He’s also trying to end birthright citizenship, gut federal agencies, and is going after gender-affirming care and DEI . . . All while the new DOGE office slashes budgets (saying “you’re fired” to everyone from park rangers to nuclear weapons workers). Oh, and Trump’s been actively trolling Canada . . . . The courts seem to be the only guardrail checking his power, with more than 70 lawsuits already in motion — some making their way to the Supreme Court. But the (somehow very real) question remains: Will Trump’s team simply ignore the rulings?”

The orange menace is taking all the pages from the dictator’s playbook. And doing everything he can to serve up the Ukraine to Putin while taking Gaza for his latest high-end development. It’s all kinds of batshit.

Getting back to the phrase at the top of the post. Some of you may recognize it from various job descriptions. Tolerating ambiguity is a catch-all phrase meaning you gotta shut up and put up with ALL. THE. BULLSHIT. From everyone. All the time.

So, we’re all tolerating ambiguity these days.

It’s hard to know how to fight against a madman but fight we must.

And with a record low voter turnout (about 20% in Sudbury—WTF?), Ontario handed Ford another majority. Yeah, he’s hot to fight Trump (whom he formerly adored), but he’s tanked our health care system and our education system and done a whole bunch of other despicable things. The future isn’t looking so bright.

I’m (trying) to tolerate a lot of ambiguity at work right now, too, and feeling dysregulated every other day it seems. I try to listen to my body and my brain, but I can’t take a day to regulate and level out as often as I seem to need to.

And I just read an article that says to recover an hour of sleep debt, you have to get a full night’s sleep (!). That means that I’m running on a deficit of three night’s sleep for every full work week. Gah! The weekend never feels like it’s enough time off. Now I know why!

The month in writing

I was still trying to finish Reality Bomb. So close!

Will take a break after I finish next month to write the query and synopsis and then embark on a listening pass to see how many words I can trim.

At the same time, I started research on the period between the two world wars, the temporal setting for Alice in Thunderland. Most of the books were available through either the Greater Sudbury Public Library (GSPL) or the J.N. Desmarais Library at Laurentian University. I found a couple of YouTube channels to watch/listen to as well.

I sent in the first 10 pages of RB along with a semi-query and comps to Cece Lyra for her upcoming Start It Right webinar. She may critique my pages live in her webinar. I’m sure I’ll get some solid feedback, one way or the other.

Suzy got back to me. Turns out she was just insanely busy. Our first meeting of 2025 was on the 20^th. And it was great. It’s not like there weren’t issues, but I’m improving. One more session to go!

Aaannnd . . . I may be on a certain book coach’s podcast in the future! Stay tuned 🙂

On the 22^nd, I was informed that “The Beekeeper,” my story in Through the Portal, has been nominated for ECO24: The Year’s Best Speculative Ecofiction. I already submitted to the Aurora Awards and The Year’s Best Canadian Fantasy and Science Fiction last month. We’ll see if anything comes of it.

On the 23^rd, I saw this lovely review of Through the Portal by Lorina Stephens for On Spec.

I received notification of my Public Lending Right payment. Woohoo! And not in a facetious way. People took The Art of Floating out of the library last year! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

But I also received notification that I was not awarded two of the three grants I applied for. I hope that means I’m still in the running for the third. Everything crossed! And yeah, that’s as painful as you might imagine.

Filling the well

The month started with Imbolc, and I put together a poetry reading covering the winter months for the still somewhat bleak midwinter.

I also lit my altar and did a guided meditation. I’ve discovered that I can only do a guided meditation, or something similar, in which I have something to focus on besides my thoughts. As an autistic prone to rumination, if I give my thoughts any opportunity, they take control and the meditation is over. The thoughts I tend to ruminate on are inevitably dark.

The full bear moon in Leo was on the 12^th. The night was overcast. I did another guided meditation.

Moon pictures have been disappointing lately, all smudgy and out of focus. But I did take a couple of decent pictures of the creek. The ducks were visiting in the second one.

I tried to get some decent photos, but it’s been cold out and I haven’t been able to focus my phone camera properly.

The new rowan moon in Pisces was on the 27^th. I did another guided meditation.

On the 4^th, I attended a Clarion/Grist webinar on climate fiction with Annalee Newitz and Omar El Akkad. Interesting insights into climate fiction. And I always love Annalee’s presentations.

On the 5^th, I attended a virtual talk, “We can’t teach a book with that word in it,” with Lawrence Hill and Debra Thompson. A discussion of banned books and the responsibility of teachers and professors to their students. Excellent.

And I signed up for another Tiffany Yates Martin webinar offered by Jane Friedman on January 29^th. Because spoons, I watched the replay on the 7th. Excellent webinar with great resources.

In terms of physical/mental health and self-care, I took the first week of the month off to rest and recover. And get some tasks done. Tax prep, filing, unearthing all my journals, and cleaning my office. I got everything done but the cleaning.

I had a massage appointment on the 12^th. I love my massage therapist!

My (currently) bi-annual mammogram was on the 13^th.

Also on the 13^th, I attended another RBC Patients and Family Learning Space webinar about insomnia. Interesting, but I am doing (or try to do) most of what they suggest.

And my support group meeting was on the 26^th. This month’s topic was self-advocacy and accommodation.

What I’m watching and reading

Another series dropped off my watch list. I decided to try Psych (Netflix) after watching Talis Adler’s (Talis the Introvert) impassioned video essay in which she made the case that Psych was the best Sherlock Holmes adaptation ever made. I gave it a whole season, but I never got into it. A solid meh. Sorry Talis.

The first series I finished watching in February was the second season of Shrinking (Apple TV +). Honestly, it was better than the first. I won’t say much about it because I want y’all to check it out if you can.

I was watching the rest of Outlander season 7 (Amazon/Stack TV) but Stack’s licensing for the series lapsed before I could get there. Again. Season 8 is supposed to be the last, even though they haven’t caught up with the novels yet (strictly speaking). They’re compressing events and inserting them where is makes sense, but because I rely on the books for the actual story (love you, Diana!), the series can feel both action-packed and hurtling toward its conclusion.

I loved what I saw but decided that another streaming service was not in the budget. We’ll be deactivating Stack TV soonish as they’ve raised their subscription fee. Just one more series to finish first.

Then, I finished watching the first season of High Potential (CTV). Morgan is a high potential intellectual and mother of three who works as a nighttime cleaner for the LAPD. One night, she changes a murder board, and her life, forever. When called to the carpet for her vandalism, Morgan explains her reasoning and helps detective Karadec solve the murder. Selena, head of the major crimes division, offers Morgan a job as a consultant. Morgan initially refuses but then accepts on the condition that Selena help find her first husband who disappeared 15 years ago. Think of Morgan as the Erin Brockovich of the LAPD. Fun.

Next, I watched the first season of Interview with the Vampire. CTV SciFi aired it, and I’m glad I caught it. I really enjoyed the second season, and now I have the context to appreciate it even more. A most excellent re-envisioning of the novel and previous adaptations.

I finished watching the second and last season of Arcane: League of Legends (Netflix). The animation was even more striking, the pace just a little less hectic, and the story stronger than in season 1. I think they could have done even better if they squeezed in a tenth episode, but I’m happy with what we got. Everyone’s messed up after season one. A foreign warlord (Embessa) tries to take over Piltover. Victor becomes (or at least awakens) the Arcane. Vander returns in a surprising form. I can’t say much more without spoiling everything. You’ll just have to watch it.

Then, I finished watching the whole run of The Owl House (Disney +). Luz has always been a weirdo, and she’s supposed to go to summer camp but ends up opening a door to another world, which slams shut behind her. In the Burning Lands, she meets Eda, the owl lady, and King, who looks like a puppy wearing a bone mask. She convinces Eda to teach her magic (even though she’s a human) and soon learns the reason Eda is known as the owl lady. When she discovers that there is a magic school, she makes friends of the other students and eventually convinces the principle to allow her to enroll. Ultimately, Luz wants to find a way back home, which is why she wants to learn magic.

From the first, Luz is a chaotic transformation engine. Unfailingly kind, she changes everyone she meets. Eventually she does find a way home but realizes that the Burning Lands—and the people she’s come to love there—is where she belongs. There is so much more to this series—curses, conspiracies, queer love, the collector—and the final season was squished into three 1-hour episodes, which didn’t do it any favours, but I loved it overall.

My first February listen was The Complete Guide to Tarot and Astrology by Louise Edington. An interesting book linking two of my new age-y interests. Most of the book was taken up with descriptions of the major and minor arcana and their astrological associations, but there was a good introduction about how to bring the two practices together, spreads, and application.

Then, I listened to Valor’s Trial, the fourth in Tanya Huff’s Valor’s Confederation series. Gunnery Seargeant Torin Kerr is thought to be killed in a battle against the Others, but her lover Craig refuses to believe it. Torin’s survived . . . a LOT over the past three novels. It can’t end like this. Meanwhile, Torin wakes in a subterranean POW camp where fascist elements have taken over, and everyone else seems to have lost the will to fight back, let alone escape. Loved! Torin’s as kick-ass as ever.

Next, I read I am AI by Ai Jiang. This novelette was shortlisted for the Astounding, BSFA, Hugo, and Nebula Awards. In the city of Emit, Ai is a cyborg content writer competing with actual AI content writers. She supports her community with her upgrades between shifts and barters her organic body parts for upgrades. In an effort to work harder and faster and make even more of the money she needs to keep herself and her small group of friends alive, Ai sells her heart. A fabulous cyber-fable.

I finished my reread of The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis. Amazing how this gentle fantasy story stands up. Modern children might want more action or suspense or whatever, but I still love this childhood favourite.

I’m going to give the reread a bit of a break and dive into research for Alice in Thunderland. I’ll probably alternate between reread and research, just to keep my brain from going too far down the rabbit hole.

Then, I finished reading Lev Grossman’s The Magicians. Very different from the series. And I know Quentin’s journey is all about dealing (or not) with his trauma, but I did not like him as much as a character. A good read with lots of insights about the adaptation from book to series and the possible reasons for the choices made.

Next, I listened to Blackthorn’s Botanical Magic: The Green Witch’s Guide to Essential Oils for Spellcraft, Ritual & Healing by Amy Blackthorn. Again, as per many of the paganish books I listen to (because they’re part of Audible’s free catalogue), most of the book was a listing of the essential oils and their correspondences with select recipes. I’ve recently purchased a bunch of essential and perfume oils and an eager to get at some synergy experimentation, but it will have to wait until I have the time to devote to it.

Then, I read a short story by Premee Mohamed, “At Every Door a Ghost.” In a world where a scientific AI makes a deadly mistake in the name of experimentation, and all science becomes closely monitored and restricted as a result, two scientists try to buck their new big brother and fail. Or maybe it’s a qualified success?

Next, I finished Piers Anthony’s On a Pale Horse, the first of his Incarnations of Immortality series. Yes, this is another series I’ve read out of order, but it really doesn’t matter. The books all stand alone and intertwine in different ways. The unique bit with this unabridged audiobook was the author’s afterword in which Anthony talks about the genesis for the book (and series). He bemoans being typecast in his genre and wants to write literary fiction. Unable to break the mold, he incorporates more serious topics into OaPH, namely his mother’s death and his own brush with mortality.

Zane is a hapless aura photographer, who, out of money, about to be evicted, and desperate, resorts to using the last of his money to buy a magical gem that should guarantee fortune. Unfortunately, the gem can only locate lose change and, after foiling an assault and coming into possession of a gun, he contemplates suicide. Until Death enters his room, and he instinctively shoots the incarnation, thereby becoming the new Death. The story includes some pieces of puzzles from other books in the series, like how Luna, Orb’s sister, came to be Death’s beloved. Again, I found Zane and Luna a bit on the oblivious side, and the blatant sexism (yes, Anthony was a product of his time) irked. But it was a decent book and, if nothing else, shows me what I want to avoid in my own fiction.

I read Starter Villain by John Scalzi. Charlie was a journalist until he was fired and now struggles to make ends meet by substitute teaching. His dream is to buy a local pub, but he barely makes enough to keep himself and his two cats, Hera and Persephone, fed. Add to that the fact that he’s living in the house his father left to him, which his step-siblings are continually pressuring him to move out of so they can sell it and split the proceeds, and Charlie’s pretty desperate. Then the uncle he hasn’t seen since he was a kid dies, and Charlie is propelled into a high-stakes world of secret cabals and enhanced animal operatives (Hera and Persephone are two of those), in which he is nothing more than a start villain. Super fun read.

Then, I read Cats and Dogs in Space, a speculative poetry collection by Lisa Timpf. I loved this collection, but I must confess to having a serious soft spot for furry family members. The collection is divided into four sections: From the Headlines, in which the poems explore real life examples of speculative themes; Legendary, in which the mythological dogs and cats take the stage; The Great Hereafter, a heartbreaking exploration of loss and grief; and Cats and Dogs of the Future, which chronicles the adventures of robot dogs in colonial space and more. “Musings of a Shelter Dog” brought me right back to the thoughts and feelings inspired when I read Andre Alexis’ Fifteen Dogs, and “Laika” and every poem in The Great Hereafter made me weepy, to be honest. Highly recommend to lovers of poetry, cats, dogs, space, or any combination thereof.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

Life in general

The month in writing

Filling the well

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Life in general

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Filling the well

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Life in general

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Filling the well

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Life in general

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Filling the well

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Life in general

The month in writing

Filling the well

What I’m watching and reading

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Life in general

The month in writing

Filling the well

What I’m watching and reading

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Life in general

The month in writing

Filling the well

What I’m watching and reading

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Life in general

The month in writing

Filling the well

What I’m watching and reading

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