The next chapter: July 2026 update

August 2, 2026 / Melanie Marttila / Leave a comment

Unwinding and leaning in

Life in general

The month began with Canada Day, and I started the day by having my first lake swim of 2026. It was lovely and refreshing (the day was already frog’s ass hot when I went). I finished the day with a twilight dog walk over the Robinson boardwalk. The fireflies were out in force as were the bullfrogs with their br-rums echoing all over the marsh around me. Bliss!

As you might infer from what I’ve written so far, we’ve been in a bit of a heat wave in northeastern Ontario. It started in the last week of June and as July began, we were consistently on the 30s Celsius with the humidity making it feel like the stifling 40s.

For context, 30 degrees Celsius is 86 Fahrenheit and 40 Celsius is 104 Fahrenheit. Nighttime temperatures rarely fell below 20/68 and even with all the windows open and all the fans on, our house was stuck at a minimum 24/75 and often reached 28/82 before the end of the day. And we have no way of tracking how the humidity influenced the temperature indoors.

Yes, we have a portable AC unit for the bedroom so we can sleep, but it labours all night just to get the temperature down to 19/66, even if we set the temperature lower, just in the one room.

From here out, I’ll just be listing temperatures in degrees Celsius.

I probably could have gone swimming in June, but I was still struggling with the workforce adjustment situation at work, my caregiving responsibilities at home, and was too dysregulated to consider further, even fun, activities.

I wanted to go swimming on Saturdays thereafter, but if I slept in too long, the small parking lot would be full, and I’d have to go home, unswum. Or if it was raining with thunderstorms, I was content not to go. I was still working and there wasn’t enough time (or spoons) in any given workday to fit in a swim, though I did get out four times over the course of the month.

At work, I plugged away at projects and my new slow and steady pace. No WFA news was apparently good news.

The weather returned to seasonal for a few days, but I noticed something weird. Inside, the temperature would creep up to 27 or 28 degrees, but I didn’t feel hot. It may have been the lack of humidity, but my feet didn’t swell, either (heat edema sux, y’all). I did have to stop wearing necklaces, though, because of heat rash.

But on the 13^th, we crept back up into the danger zone. 32, felt like 42 with the humidity. The house was sealed up tight and every fan was on, but it was still 29 inside and the nighttime temperature only dropped to 24, felt like 30. Our portable AC was our saving grace.

On the 14^th, it was 36, felt like 43, and migrating forest fire smoke turned the sky orange. The temperature didn’t drop below 30 until after midnight and I only walked Torvi until she did her business. She was panting so hard, my poor little dear (for context, she is a 70 lb dog).

Thereafter, we were back in the seasonal/reasonable zone, but it took a few days to cool everything down.

On the 16^th, I received notification that my pension package had been received, and work would begin after my departure date. I called the pension centre the next morning to confirm and asked if no one would be reviewing the contents of my package for errors or missing documents. Apparently, that’s not how they do things.

So much for being proactive.

I informed my team lead and manager that I would be taking some time off starting in August. Both left on vacation (‘tis the season!) and I reached out to our acting manager (also my previous team lead) to remind her of the upcoming leave. I updated her on my projects and she (smart cookie that she is) advised me to start onboarding other team members who can see the project through to its completion in my absence.

I have a habit of doing this, I realized, leaving just as a project is nearing its conclusion. I think it’s that I, in grand autistic fashion, give my all to the projects I work on, even if I try not to, and I exhaust myself.

Lessons for the future.

Toward the end of the month, the cicadas started to sing! I find their electric song so comforting.

Phil started harvesting radishes for salads and dug up all our potatoes. Beans and cucumbers were coming in. Everything was growing nicely in the new planter boxes.

The temperature rose again and the last days of July were two very hot and sticky days.

The month finished with a doctor’s appointment on the 29^th and a 10-week sick leave, but even then, I wasn’t able to relax immediately. I was in shock.

The month in writing

I revised and submitted a story (!), worked on and submitted a review (!), then another review, and I started reframing Reality Bomb, all slowly and gently, as I had energy and time.

My review of Jaime Forsythe’s Yield was published in periodicities: a journal of poetry and poetics on the 2^nd.

Later in the month, I wrote a poem, started another. Then I wrote two more.

I’m trying to find my way back to joy, but it’s slow in coming.

Filling the well

The new oak moon in Cancer was on the 14^th.

The full raspberry moon in Aquarius was on the 29^th.

In writerly events and courses, I signed up for Tiffany Grimes’ Revision Alchemy program as a way to kickstart what I hope to be my final (for now) revision of Reality Bomb. The course is running through to the end of September. This was a referral through GoldenMay Editorial.

I registered for “Moving Beyond Three-Act Structure” with Steven James through Jane Friedman. I enjoyed James’ last webinar so much, I hoped on board this one as soon as I remembered to (!) The webinar was on the 1^st, but I opted to watch the replay. I’m really liking his approach.

Also on the 1^st was “Folkloric Felines” presented by Sara and Brittany of the Carterhaugh School. It was a fundraiser for the vet bills for Jasper. Again, I watched the replay. All kinds of catty awesome, including Finnish cat psychopomps!

Then, I signed up for “Plan a Series to Success” with Emily & Rachel of GoldenMay on the 21^st. I still have drafts of a few series knocking around, and I learned a few strategies to tackle them in revisions.

I also signed up for another Tiffany Yates Martin webinar through Jane Friedman. “Mastering Narrative Flow” was excellent, as usual.

On the personal/self-care front, my next therapy session was on the 17^th. It was good and confirmed a few things for me.

I had a doctor’s appointment on the 29^th where I received a medical note for a 10-week sick leave. Well, the office was closed for summer vacation and I’d have to send the medical form on August 4^th, call to confirm receipt, and then go into the office in the afternoon to pay for and pick up the completed note before logging into my work computer and submitting the note to the team lead on duty.

And I took Torvi to her touch-up appointment on the 18^th. Because of the heat, she’d gotten really shaggy again. They used the hand-held blow dryer to help with the defluffening. And I grabbed a couple bags of treats and a new antler for her.

What I’m watching and reading

Before I proceed, I want to mention that I’ve abandoned House of the Dragon (HBO) after watching the first episode of the latest season. I have no interest in watching dragons killing each other or getting grievously injured anymore, nor is the flawed people behaving badly/stupidly thing enjoyable to watch.

My first watch of July was finishing the first season of Scarpetta (Prime). This series is the first successful adaptation of Patricia Cornwell’s Kay Scarpetta novels, and I say successful in the sense that it made it to the screen. The series itself is a bit of a mess with a dual timeline that was more jarring than propulsive. In the past, new chief medical examiner Kay Scarpetta is set on the trail of a serial killer. In the present, she returns to the same position and the first body that she examines bears a striking resemblance to the bodies in the case that made her career. The cases, past and present, take a back seat to Scarpetta’s complicated home life, which would be exhausting to detail here. The season ends on a weird cliffhanger in which, after fighting off the present-day serial killer, Scarpetta bashes his brains out with a baseball bat, and someone comes in the door. It was … okay?

Then, I finished watching the first season of Young Sherlock Holmes (Prime). 19-year-old Sherlock is sprung from prison (for pickpocketing) by his brother Mycroft and given the unglamorous position of scout at Oxford. He befriends student James Moriarty and impresses visiting Princess Shou’an, who subsequently insists he and James investigate the missing Sun Tzu scrolls. Though he and James find the missing scrolls and save the Oxford faculty from an explosion, Sherlock is accused of the murder of a professor. While the murder blossoms into an international espionage plot, Sherlock also struggles with family trauma: a dead sister, a mother in an asylum, and an absentee father. The two plots dovetail toward the end of the season. An entertaining prequel with lots of action (Guy Ritchie, IYKYK).

Next, I continued my movie watching with Death on the Nile (Prime). Fresh off the Orient Express, Poirot is asked to solve a case in Egypt, after which he again seeks rest. At a concert, he witnesses a romantic drama. Months later, still in Cairo, he encounters his friend Bouc and is drawn into the wedding celebrations of the couple he witnessed months before. Pursued by an ex-lover, the couple move their celebrations onto a cruise ship but by the time they reach Abu-Simbel, the ex-lover has boarded the ship. That night, the newlywed wife is murdered. This one is a sad story for Poirot. He begins to fall in love, but his own foibles lead to their estrangement. Bouc is also killed, and Poirot is deprived of a grounding influence. But the mystery is exquisite and the performances are great.

Then, I watched Avatar: Fire and Ash, when it came out on Disney +. The Sullys are still living with the Metkayina, grieving the loss of their eldest son, Neteyam, none more so than Neytiri, whose hatred of the Sky People, including Spider, consumes her. Spider, as a human, depends on a breathing mask to live in Pandora, but they’re running out of power cells and have to go back to the human scientist outpost. On the way, they are attacked by the Mangkwan, a violent Na’vi clan, and the Sullys are scattered. When Spider’s mask runs out of power, Kiri uses her unique connection with Eywa to infuse Spider with mycelia, which adapt his body to Pandora. Jake’s old antagonist Quaritch teams up with the Mangkwan and kidnaps Spider. Jake tries to rescue him but is captured. The RDA’s scientists believe they can use Spider’s new biology to adapt all humans to Pandora (doom!). Meanwhile, the RDA is mounting a huge “whaling” operation coinciding with the Tulkun calving ceremony. One of the biologists objects and helps Jake and Spider escape. The Tulkun council refuse to engage in violence, even in their own defense, until Lo’ak and the outcast Payakan bring a grievously injured Ta’nok to testify before the council about the cruelty of the Sky People, and they descend to deliberate. Jake finally reaches out to Toruk and summons all the Na’vi clans to war. There is more. So. Much. More. This movie is packed with action and personal subplots, and it really is the spectacle it’s billed as. It would have been overwhelming in the theatre, though. I watch movies in 20-to-30-minute sessions these days (thank you, streaming!). And it was still a lot. The only thing that irritated me is that Jake has the exact same arc in every movie. We need some variation here, not just escalation.

Phil and I watched season two of the live-action Avatar: The Last Airbender (Netflix), not to be confused with the movie above. We enjoyed it. It was better than the first season. But the dialogue was still lacking and, at the same time, burdened with telling us everything the showrunners decided not to show us. I know adapting to live action means that different choices must be made. Every 1-hour episode felt … smaller than the original, though. The series got where it needed to go, and I’ll watch the third season. I was just a bit disappointed.

Next, I finished watching My brother, the Minotaur (Apple TV). This delightful animated series appears to have been created by the same animators as Wolf Walkers (one of my absolute fave movies) and tells the tale of Lorcan, a minotaur boy adopted by humans living on remote Bryony Island. When Lorcan hits puberty, he begins to have dreams and visions, walks in his sleep, and has trouble controlling his temper. His human brother Charlie and their two friends Harper and Dana try to help Lorcan solve the mystery of his existence. Complicating matters are fairies, a pooka, and a wealthy human developer, Craignelder and his son Wesley Jr. Celtic and Greek myths mix and mingle. Absolutely loved!

Then, I watched Enola Holmes 3 (Netflix). Enola is about to marry Tewkesbury in Malta, but before she can get to the church … slightly late, Dr. Watson flags down her carriage and tells her that her brother Sherlock has gone missing. Then, a fire at the Tewkesbury estate covers the abduction of Lady Tewkesbury. Every suspect Enola pursues is shot, but their final words allow Enola to assemble the clues to a plot involving stolen Afgan gold and Maltese independence, and, of course, Moriarty. Mrs. Holmes (now a fugitive bomber) also arrives to support Enola in her quest. Fun and sweet!

Next, I watched Project Hail Mary (Prime). I’ve been wanting to watch this since it came out in theatres. It was so worth the wait. The movie plays out in dual timelines. In the present, Ryland Grace wakes up with no memory on the spaceship Hail Mary heading for Tau Ceti and finds the corpses of his two crewmates. He struggles to figure out why he’s there. In the past, he is a disgraced scientist now working as a middle grade schoolteacher. He is recruited by Eva Stratt to study the Petrova Line which extends from the Sun to Venus. The astrophage in the Petrova Line consume the Sun’s energy for propulsion and reproduction and will eventually cause catastrophic global cooling on Earth as the sun “dies.” Back in the present, Grace encounters an alien ship from Erid, and its sole inhabitant, a rock-like, five-legged alien Grace names Rocky. Rocky’s ship was on the same mission as the Hail Mary and his crew met the same fate as Grace’s. This is an amazing buddy dramedy as Grace and Rocky work to save their respective stars and planets and each other. LOVED!

I finished watching the first two seasons of Paradise (Disney +). When the promotion came out for the first season, it was very vague, and I was uninterested. But I heard good things about the series and decided to give it a try. Spoiler warning! Sorry, but it’s that kind of show. You can’t really explain the premise without revealing the initial twist. Xavier Collins is a member of the secret service assigned to the President of the United States but by the end of the first episode, the president is murdered, Xavier is implicated, and it’s revealed that the whole drama is taking place in an underground bunker in Colorado created to house survivors of a super volcano. Over the course of the first season, the mystery of who killed the president is solved while flashbacks reveal the reason for the bunker’s creation, and the beef Xavier had with the president. In the second season, Xavier leaves the bunker in search of his wife (the forementioned presidential beef) and finds his way back to the bunker in time for disaster to strike. I’ve been as vague as I can, but if any of that interested you, I recommend watching. It’s a bit of a mind-blower!

My next movie was The Testament of Ann Lee (Disney +). This is a bit of a weird one. A musical about the woman founder of the Shaker religion. The songs are lovely and haunting and the story is compelling. Ann Lee is born in Manchester and when she sees her parents having sex, immediately associates it with sin. Later, she joins a group of “Shaking Quakers” and finds solace in their practice of group confession of sin, shouting out to God for forgiveness, and ritual self-flagellation. They also believe that the second coming will be a woman. She marries a blacksmith and suffers his desire for BDSM and oral sex, giving birth to four children who all die. When she is imprisoned for disturbing the peace in a Shaker ceremony for 14 days, she refuses to eat or drink and has visions. Sharing these with the Shakers upon her release, they declare her Mother Ann. Beautiful, but haunting.

Then, I finished watching the first season of Stranger Things: Tales from ’85 (Netflix). This animated series is set in between seasons two and three of the original series and follows the gang as they discover even more beasties from the upside down have infiltrated Hawkins. Really like the animation style and the addition of Nikki Baxter as a new but temporary member of the gang. I also appreciated how the animated series focused on the kids. Jonathan, Nancy, and Steve were infrequent guest stars, and the adults were rarer. Well done, I think.

I also watched Doolittle (Netflix). Dr. Doolittle has withdrawn from Victorian society after his beloved wife Lily dies at sea trying to find the Eden tree. Tommy, a young animal-lover in a family of hunters tries not to shoot a duck and ends up injuring a red squirrel instead. Desperate to heal the poor creature, he’s led to Doolittle’s door by Poly the parrot, who’s hoping to draw the good doctor out of his doldrums. After performing surgery on the squirrel, Doolittle ushers Tommy out and is promptly summoned to attend upon a young Queen Victoria, who is dying of nightshade poisoning. The fruit of the Eden tree is the only cure. Leaving two of his animal companions behind to watch over the queen, Doolittle embarks on his mission to save her—and Poly ensures that Tommy is aboard the ship before it departs. Fabulous fun!

Then, I watched Oppenheimer (Netflix). The performances were amazing, but the story itself was rather depressing. Oppenheimer is shown to be obsessive in his pursuits and the people around him are often hurt by his single-minded focus. His later manipulation/persecution by Louis Stauss beats him down mercilessly. A worthwhile watch, but I think I wasn’t in the right mindset to appreciate it.

I finished watching Renegade Nell (Disney +). Highwayman Isambard Tulley robs the wealthy passengers in a carriage but Nell Jackson, returning from the war in which her husband was killed, fights Tulley and his gang off with seemingly supernatural powers. Fairy Billy Blind helps Nell when she helps others, but even he doesn’t know why. Her reunion with her family is brief, however, when the son of a local magistrate escalates from harassment to murder, Nell must gather her sisters and go on the run. Fun! I would have watched a second season if Disney hadn’t cancelled it.

Next, I watched Masters of the Universe (Prime). This one was a nostalgia watch and ridiculous fun. Prince Adam is sent to Earth by the Sorceress when Skeletor attacks Eternos, the capital city of Eternia. Adam loses hold of the Sword of Power in the transit. Years later, Adam works in Human Resources and is painfully earnest and honest about his search for the Sword of Power. The women he dates think he’s crazy. It gets him into trouble at work. His roommate pities him. An anonymous text leads Adam to recover the sword at a comic store and the moment he touches it, Skeletor sends Beastman to kill Adam and recover the sword.

Finally, I watched The Devil Wears Prada 2 (Disney +). Years after the events of the first movie, Andy is an award-winning journalist who is fired along with the rest of the staff. At loose ends, she receives an offer of employment from the owner of Runway magazine after Amanda Priestly is pilloried in the media. Another nostalgic hit. Of course Andy finds a way to succeed. Of course Amanda has a way to save the magazine. Of course Emily is still the villain. Not only a great story, but also a commentary on the ravages of AI and patriarchal capitalism.

My fist July listen was … wait for it … The Demon King by Peter V. Brett. I had to finish the trilogy, y’all! Following the events of The Hidden Queen, Olive Paper and Darin Bales find themselves in a strange land across the seas. They’re on Alagai Ka’s trail. He can’t be allowed to escape again. What they find is a lost Crasian tribe, whose Deliverer perfected subjugation wards centuries before, and where human and demon live in apparent harmony. The Council of Hive agree to help Olive and Darin find their fugitive demon, but they want to subjugate him, not kill him, despite Olive’s warnings. Darin and Olive also find unexpected community. Intersex people like Olive are more common in Hive and many are among the elite of the settlement. Darin, despised son of Eaters (those who have eaten demon flesh, anathema in Hive), finds a whole underclass of Eaters and their children, all of whom share his abilities and sensitivities. When Alagai Ka makes his move and liberates the demons of Hive, Olive and Darin must rally their new friends and mount a defense before Hive, and the rest of the world, fall to the demon hoard.

Some overall thoughts on the sequel series. It’s firmly in the YA space because of its young protagonists, but the violence is on par with the original series. Brett delved into the characteristics of Olive (intersex) and Darin (ND coded) and the challenges they face because of their differences. All of this I loved. I noticed one thing that may be catering more to a YA audience, though. Every time Darin or Olive take the stage, they clearly iterate their special abilities and weaknesses. It got to be a bit irritating after a while. I don’t remember that from the The Demon Cycle, but I haven’t revisited the books to test my memory. Overall, I enjoyed the sequel series immensely. I did queue them up one after the other.

Then, I caught up on It’s Storytime with Wil Wheaton again.

Next, I listened to A Closed and Common Orbit by Becky Chambers. At the end of the first Wayfarers novel, the ship’s AI formerly known as Lovey (Lovelace) suffered a catastrophic system failure requiring a reboot. In the process, all of Lovey’s knowledge and experience and system customizations were lost. Engineer Pepper had brought Lovey a “kit” or synthetic body, which is illegal. Lovey had intended to leave the ship and pursue a life of her own, but the rebooted Lovelace has no such desire. As the crew mourn the loss of Lovey, who was family to them, Lovelace senses that it is somehow her fault. Pepper offers Lovelace the kit, and the two depart.

This novel is the intertwined story of Lovelace and Pepper. Lovelace cannot overcome her factory settings as a ship’s AI and cannot get used to living in the kit. She can’t lie and is one innocent question away from exposure. She has no feed access and only the kit’s limited senses rather than the disseminated cameras and vox and systems access she had in the ship. She has to choose a new name and lives mostly in hiding in case a slip results in Pepper’s arrest and her destruction. Pepper has her own issues and her own secrets to keep. She once had a different name and was raised by a ship’s AI she’s desperate to find again. As Lovelace’s journey toward independence progresses, Pepper’s backstory is revealed and the two stories intersect in a daring heist-slash-rescue mission. Loved!

Then, I listened to Carl’s Doomsday Scenario by Matt Dinniman. And I really recommend listening to these audiobooks. Jeff Hayes is amazing! He does ALL the voices, men and women, even Princess Donut! This novel takes place entirely on one floor of the world dungeon Carl and Princess Donut are forced to crawl through. The Borent Corporation still has its devious machinations, but the system AI has its own ideas. This time, a circus infected and altered by a fungus is out for blood, headless prostitutes rain from the sky, and quests are a thing! Mordechai is now a succubus … and drunk most of the time. Carl and Donut get to choose their race and class! Dark and absurd and full of violence, the book and series have delivered so far.

I read—yes! read—Adelle Purdham’s I Don’t Do Disability and Other Lies I’ve Told Myself. This memoir focuses on the author’s experience becoming the mother of a child with Down Syndrome. While I couldn’t relate to her experiences as a mother, memories of spending a few weeks each of several childhood summers with my second cousin Karen-Ann surfaced. She has down syndrome and was an adult at the time I stayed with her. We got along well, perhaps because of my neurodivergence, although as I got older, we stopped relating to each other so well. But it was a gift of the book that those memories surfaced. What really hit me in Purdham’s book was her struggle to find a place in her life for all the things she loves, including her writing. “I am the one pretending like I don’t know what it is I want to do,” she repeats in one later chapter. Hit me like a sledgehammer, that.

I finished reading The Haunting of Modesto O’Brien by Britt Griffin. Modesto O’Brien has come to Cobalt in pursuit of Tommy Coffin, but what he finds when he gets to town is a silver rush in full boom, claim jumping and all. Then Lily Nial hires him to find her sister, Lucy, and it turns out that the Nial sisters are the reason Tommy Coffin is in Cobalt. The stories weave together along with the supernatural. Modesto has the sight, inherited from his mam and gran. In fact, Granny Savage is with him still and whispers wisdom to him from the betwixt and the between. And she knows Lily Nial when she walks into Modesto’s office, familiar and strange and something more. The Nial sisters are tied to Modesto in more ways than one. Fabulous!

Finally, I listened to The Last Contract of Isako by Fonda Lee. Though the story is fantastic, I want to focus on the worldbuilding, of which Lee is a master. Set on a planet that has been cut off from Earth (the Silence) and is in the midst of terraforming, Daimios have become CEOs, samurai, contractors, who are also business advisors, and Bushido is simply the Code. Because they are trying to warm the planet as part of their terraforming efforts, fossil fuel production and use are encouraged. The two political parties are the Reunionists, who want to reestablish contact with Earth, and the Terraformists, who want to establish an independent and livable world. Even names are tied to Japanese tradition, with the kith, or family name coming before the given, but Kith names are based on the geographic features, plants, and animals of Old Earth. Lee even explains the planet’s calendar, which in less artful hands would be pure infodump.

Isthmus Isako is an A-tier contractor, who’s been working for her client in an exclusive contract for 12 years. When the company loses a corporate war with a competitor, Isako must deliver the termination notices. In a world of scarce resources, these terminations are literal. Isako’s client blindsides her by walking out of the atmospheric dome with the terminated employees and dying on the still-inhospitable planet in protest. The CEO of the winning company gives Isako one last contract, to prevent another competitor CEO, Sandbar Uchi, from joining the Board. When Isako learns that her last apprentice, Uchi’s A-tier, has died, the contract becomes personal. What Isako uncovers in her investigation could change humanity’s life among the stars. Wickedly twisted.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: A month in the writerly life. https://melaniemarttila.ca

I acknowledge with respect that I am in Robinson-Huron Treaty territory, that the land from which I write is the traditional territory of the Anishinaabe and home of Atikameksheng Anishnawbek and Wahnapitae First Nation.

The next chapter: June 2026 update

July 5, 2026 / Melanie Marttila / 3 Comments

Getting things sorted and designing the life I want to live

The sun through clouds, producing a halo.

Life in general

In the first days of June, the air was redolent with crab apple blossoms, and the lilacs were just coming into bloom. Every dog walk, I took in lungfuls of the stuff. Glorious. And before and after it rained, there was petrichor in the air.

The mountain ash flowers were less pleasant, but they’re all a part of spring. Overall, it was bliss.

At work, I cancelled and resubmitted my departure request (I’d accidentally assigned it to the wrong person) and called the pension centre to initiate the sending of my pension package. Apparently, they don’t check their secured messaging system unless they have a lull in their work otherwise.

On Friday the 5^th, I received my pension package. 18 documents, 12 informational and 6 forms to be filled out. I spent the day reading through everything, zipped and sent the documents to my home email, read through and printed the critical informational documents, read those through a third time after supper, and started to fill out the forms. But I still had questions and points of clarification. I decided to set the task aside until Monday and enjoy my weekend. Or at least relax and recover.

I’d later learn that Phil’s sister’s mother-in-law passed away on Friday just shy of her 94^th birthday. Bless.

Phil has been dismantling our old, raised bed and is making new, waist-high planter boxes for our garden. He salvaged some of the wood to make a smaller raised bed by the house where he transplanted our surviving strawberries and raspberries beside the monster rhubarb.

He’s made a couple of planter boxes for Mom, too, because she can’t get out to the older raised beds anymore.

I did my best to rest over the weekend and on Monday, collected all my questions about the pension package, called the pension centre, got all the clarifications I needed, and then completed, printed, and signed all the forms.

My departure request was approved.

On Tuesday, I ensured that all the forms and additional documents were ordered and created a cover letter listing the contents of the package and mailed it to the pension centre.

I did my part to the best of my ability and in enough time that, if there are problems, they can be resolved.

Now, I just had to trust that everyone else would do their part.

I began to exhale.

My manager scheduled a meeting with me on the 16^th to discuss some aspects of my departure request. She has a checklist to work through. There were two issues with my departure request. The first, that the two requested documents could not be attached would affect everyone. I was thanked for flagging it. The second was that the category I selected and which I was advised was okay, was not, in fact, okay. This would have to be changed in the back end.

Both issues were out of my hands.

On the 24^th, I learned that the category would be changed by the pay centre.

I was finally able to talk to my team lead on the 25^th and explain not only what had happened with the departure request and pensions package, but also my concerns about Mom and not having the capacity to meet her needs, either now, while I was still working, or after I retired. I let her know that I had a doctor’s appointment in July and that I’d probably be taking some time off.

Every small action eased the pressure and dysregulation. I began to breathe easier.

The month in writing

I finished and submitted another review! I started working on my next review. Aaand I stalled again. But as the month wore on and my workforce adjustment situation and my domestic worries were sorted, I picked away at reviews as I could.

On the 2^nd, my review of Margo LaPierre’s Ajar was posted on periodicities.

I received this lovely review of The Art of Floating from Kris Kaila of Novelesque Life on the 5^th.

On the 15^th, Nina Munteanu posted my “Sustainability Before Ambition” interview on Lynda Williams’ Reality Skimming blog. I’m really pleased with how it turned out.

My review of Khashayar Mohammadi’s The Book of Interruptions was published in The Seaboard Review of Books on the 29^th.

The cover of Khashayar "Kess" Mohammadi's The Book of Interruptions.

In writerly business, the League of Canadian Poets (LCP) held its Town Hall on the 16^th.

I rescheduled the SF Canada Board meeting for the 20^th and actually attended this time (!) Decisions were made. Work items were issued. We’re all good.

The LCP AGM was on the 23^rd. Another smooth meeting.

And on the 27^th, the Canadian Authors Association AGM was held.

I’m all AGM’d out now.

Filling the well

The new hawthorn moon in Gemini was on the 14^th. After a couple of weeks of above seasonal temperatures requiring the use of our portable AC, the weather cooled and dropped to seasonal. It also rained a fair amount.

The summer solstice arrived on the 21^st. It was a sunny, then rainy, then thunder stormy, then sunny again kind of day. I kept looking for rainbows.

The full strawberry moon in Capricorn was on the 29^th.

I signed up for a course that Kristen Keiffer was developing over the month of June. Bridging Passion was specifically about recovering joy in your writing process through experimentation. I love Keiffer’s courses. As a neurodivergent writer and coach herself, she really gets how ND brains work.

The Web of Interconnectedness, presented by Lydia Kwa for the Saskatchewan Writers’ Guild was on the 4^th. I think I have a new-to-me author to read! Fabulous.

I signed up for another K.M. Weiland masterclass on the 24^th. Alchemizing Plot, Character, and Theme was Katie’s usual thoughtful and organic story structure material. I so enjoy her approach!

My last Finnish class of the spring session was on the 1^st. This time around, we focused more on conversation, which is what I need the most help with. I learn something every session I attend and notice the improvement.

My next therapy session was on the 15^th. Mostly it was decompression from all things WFA- and caregiver-related.

My support group met on the 18^th. June’s topic was special interests and autistic joy. This one was the last of the spring session. We’ll resume in September.

And I had another lovely massage on the 24^th. I find that, as she works on releasing the points of tension in my body, it encourages me to release the stressors causing those knots. It’s a kind of informal therapy.

I took my mom to her doctor’s appointment on the 9^th. She’s in good health for her age. She probably won’t hear from the gerontology unit for a year, as her situation isn’t critical. Her doctor recommended a hearing test, but Mom’s not keen on making one.

Then, I took her to the bank on the 11^th, after which we went shopping at the GT Boutique (Giant Tiger).

And on the 20^th, I took Mom to get our hair cut.

Torvi’s touch up service was on the 6^th. Everything went well and there was no more talk of scheduling a full bath and brushout.

What I’m watching and reading

I watched a whole whack of movies in June! You’re welcome!

My first watch of June was Quiz Lady (Disney +). Jenny and Anne Yum do not have easy lives. Their father leaves, their mother is a gambling addict, and they’ve each reacted in different ways. Anne withdraws and finds solace in the trivia game show, “Can’t Stop the Quiz.” Jenny acts out and eventually leaves home, seeking fame and fortune as an actress. Years later, Anne works a thankless job to pay the rent, her mother’s gambling debts, and Jenny’s occasional requests for money. Her only comfort is her nightly watch of “Can’t Stop the Quiz” and her chonky pug, Mr. Linguini.

When their mother escapes her nursing home (from which she’s subsequently evicted) and flees the country to avoid her latest (and huge) gambling debt, and Jenny arrives to crash at Anne’s until her fortunes turn around (she’s been living in her car), a loan shark dognaps Mr. Linguini and holds him ransom until Anne pays her mother’s $80,000.00 debt. Jenny claims to be due a large settlement from her lawsuit against chain restaurant Choochie’s, but her cheque hasn’t arrived yet. Meanwhile, Jenny sees how skilled Anne is at answering the “Can’t Stop the Quiz” questions. She secretly records Anne and releases the video on the internet. It goes viral, and the game show calls Anne with an offer to be a contestant.

It could be the answer to their financial troubles and getting Mr. Linguini back. What could go wrong? Cue Anne’s debilitating stage fright. Hilarious and heartwarming. And Mr. Linguini is everything.

Next, I watched Plan B (Disney +). When Sunny gets a 96 on a test, her mom asks what went wrong. Sunny’s under so much pressure to live up to her mom’s standards, she’s going a little crazy. But all she really wants to do is go out with Hunter, as her best friend and wild child Lupe knows. So, when Sunny’s mom goes out of town for a weekend, Lupe convinces Sunny to throw a party. Hunter’s there, but before Sunny can approach him, he leaves with Megan, one of the popular girls. Devastated, Sunny locks herself in the bathroom to cry, but Kyle, a devout but weird Christian, whom nobody likes, has found refuge there first. Sunny, drunk and sad and angry, spontaneously propositions Kyle, who agrees. The encounter is as awkward and fumbling as you might imagine, and afterward, Kyle dresses hastily and flees, ashamed of his sin. After bemoaning the disaster with Lupe the next morning, Sunny panics when she finds out the condom came off during sex … when it flops into the toilet as she’s going to the bathroom. Lupe rallies and the two set off on a quest to find the Plan B pill. The rest of the movie is a comedy of errors with the girls’ every attempt to get the pill is foiled. Hilarious, but definitely not your mom’s coming of age comedy.

Then, I watched Into the Woods (Disney +). It’s a musical mashup of several Grimm’s fairy tales, tying them all together in a convoluted storyline. A poor baker and his wife want a child, but they’ve been cursed by a witch because the baker’s father stole greens from the witch’s garden for his pregnant wife (the beginning of Rapunzel). In return, the witch demanded the unborn child. While there, the Baker’s father also stole the witch’s magic beans, which cursed the witch with age and disfigurement. To lift the curse, the witch demands four things: a cow as white as milk, a cape as red as blood, hair as yellow as corn, and a slipper of pure gold, none of which she can ever have touched. These are the ingredients for a potion that will restore her youth and beauty.

The couple enter the woods and come across Jack, who’s been sent to sell his best friend, Milky-White the cow, by his mother. The baker trades the magic beans he finds in his father’s coat for the cow … but the cow subsequently dies. Then, the baker rescues Little Red Riding Hood and her grandmother from the stomach of the wolf (playing the role of the woodsman/hunter) and the girl gives him her red cape as thanks. The baker’s wife, after sending the baker to buy a replacement white cow, has followed a prince who visits Rapunzel in her tower. She later impersonates the prince and manages to get a piece of Rapunzel’s hair. During her wanderings, the baker’s wife encounters Cinderella, fleeing the crown prince’s ball. Finally, she manages to get Cinderella’s golden slipper. An entertaining movie with an interesting take on fairy tales where happily ever after isn’t what was promised.

The Retirement Plan (Prime) caught my eye. Ashley plays getaway driver for her husband, (ironically?) a driver for a crime organization, and his friend, who have just stolen a valuable hard drive from their employers. The friend dies and Ashley’s husband gives her the hard drive and tells her to take their daughter and flee to her father in the Cayman Islands. Ashley can’t get two seats on the same flight and sends her daughter, Sarah, on the first flight, the drive hidden in her backpack, with her grandfather’s address in hand. Before she can catch her flight, Ashley’s captured by the mob. Sarah arrives at her grandfather’s shack to find that he’s a beach bum in possession of multiple identities. He settles on Matt Robbins. There ensues a series of attempts to get the hard drive back, all of which are foiled with deadly efficiency by Matt, Ashley and Sarah exchange places several times, it’s revealed that Matt was a CIA assassin, and that the whole caper surrounding the McGuffin of the hard drive is part of a convoluted plot intended to take down the entire syndicate and uncover the mob boss’s mole in the CIA. Fun, but undemanding.

My next watch was A Haunting in Venice (Prime). Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot is at a low ebb. Though technically retired, he is continually petitioned by people with mysteries for him to solve, but he is disinterested. Hoping to draw him out, author Ariadne Oliver invites him to a séance at the palazzo of Rowena Drake, whose daughter drowned. Poirot is intrigued and decides to debunk the medium, Joyce Reynolds. During the séance, there are multiple strange occurrences, only some of which Poirot is able to expose. Ghostly apparitions continue and when people begin to die, Poirot musters himself to solve all the mysteries. Very good.

I followed that up with The Life of Chuck (Prime). This movie is an adaptation of the Stephen King novella. The life of Charles “Chuck” Krantz is presented in three acts in reverse chronological order. Act 1 is told through the perspective of middle school teacher Marty Anderson as he, his friends and colleagues, and his ex-wife witness the end of the world while advertisements thank Chuck for “39 great years.” In Act 2, a drummer sets up to busk and is just warming up when Chuck (9 months before his death) walks by. She thinks he’s going to keep on going but he stops and begins to dance, drawing in a woman who has just been dumped by her boyfriend by text. The performance results in an incredible haul and the drummer splits her take three ways. Chuck has no idea why he started to dance. Act 3 takes us back to Chuck’s childhood. His parents die in a car crash, and he’s raised by his grandparents. Inspired by his grandmother, Chuck joins the Spinners and Twirlers club where he learns his love of dance. But his grandfather turns to alcohol after his wife dies and forbids Chuck from entering the cupola at the top of the house. After his grandfather’s death, Chuck finally opens the forbidden door. There’s a lot more to the movie and the performances are amazing. Tragic but hopeful. Highly recommend.

The first series I finished watching in June was season 2 of Daredevil: Born Again (Disney +). Kingpin is firmly in control of the city, but after saving Fisk’s life from an assassination attempt by Bullseye, Matt has withdrawn from public life and his law firm and is gathering his forces to resist Fisk’s corruption. The anti-vigilante task force (AVTF) is now beating, shooting, or abducting dissenting citizens. It’s a thinly-veiled metaphor of the US under Trump. But then, things start to go wrong. A ship of illegal weapons is sunk. Vanessa is collateral damage at Fisk’s prize fight gone wrong. And the people begin to fight back. Better than the first season. Not quite as good as the Netflix series, but SO satisfying to see Jessica Jones again.

And then, I watched Hoppers (Disney +). Mabel has always been an activist, repeatedly seeking to free the animals kept in various classes at her elementary school. Unable to deal with her, Mabel’s parents send her to live with her grandmother, who teaches Mabel to attain peace by watching and listening to the animals in a glade nearby her house. Years later, Mabel is on her own, in college, and so involved in her fight to save the glade from the mayor’s Beltway that she hasn’t even noticed that all the animals have already left. When she discovers the secret Hoppers project, which allows human consciousness to “hop” into a robotic animal body that one of her professors, Dr. Sam, is working on, Mabel immediately hops into a robotic beaver in an attempt to bring the animals back to the glade and thwart the mayor’s construction plans. Surprisingly touching. Not ashamed to say I wept. Very sweet.

Next, I finished watching Agatha Christie’s Seven Dials (Netflix). At a party with several members of the Foreign Service in attendance, Gerry Wade intimates he is about to propose to Lady Eileen “Bundle” Brent. But he’s found dead in the morning apparently having overdosed on sleeping medication. Bundle refuses to believe that Gerry was suicidal and recruits his colleague Ronny to investigate. She later finds Ronny shot in the roadway. Before he dies, Ronny mentions another member of the Foreign Service, Jimmy, and the Seven Dials. Intriguing mystery. Devilish plot. Genuinely surprising twist.

Then, I watched Greta Gerwig’s adaptation of Little Women (Netflix). Having finally listened to the book earlier this year, I can attest that the movie is a fairly faithful adaptation of the book, though the timeline is scrambled without any signposts. There are some confusing moments until the viewer orients and realizes there’s been a time jump, either forward or back. The movie takes what is a domestic drama and makes it more demanding and dynamic. Enjoyed quite a bit.

Phil and I finished watching the fourth season of The Legend of Vox Machina (Prime) and hoo-boy did the series take a dark turn. One year after Vox dealt with the dragons, Scanlon is running his own wandering cabaret with his daughter, Percy and Vex are together, and Vax and Keyleth are together, leaving Pike and Grog out in the cold. Pike is feeling abandoned, not only by Vox, but by Scanlon, by whom she was gently let down last season and by the Everlight, who’s stopped speaking to her (or vice versa). Vax’s blight progresses even as Keyleth becomes the Voice of the Tempest. Percy continues to experiment with the orb. When author come adventurer Taryon (who narrates his adventure to his automaton Doty) approaches Pike and Grog hoping to join Vox Machina, Pike directs him to Vex and Percy, hoping that he’ll irritate the heck out of them and possibly remind them that Pike and Grog exist. When they later meet up, Pike learns that Taryon has been accepted into the group, which makes her feel even more alone. When Keyleth’s father is attacked by the disciples of The Whispered One at her coronation, and Vax receives a terrible vision from The Matron, Vox swings into chaotic action to defeat the big bad … but Pike, after losing her father and watching Grog get torn apart by the orb, has other plans. As I said, dark turns, and just when it looks like, once again, Vox has managed to save the day, The Whispered One reveals his dark divinity. Great setup for the final season! Now we just have to wait …

Next, I watched The Sheep Detectives (Prime). This was a fun, and surprisingly touching, movie. Yes, I wept (getting in touch with my emotions again, doncha know). Lily is the smartest sheep in George Hardy’s flock. She always figures out whodunit in the mysteries George reads to his sheep every night. But when the sheep find George dead, outcast ram Sebastian forbids them from forgetting the terrible event—oh, yeah, sheep can will themselves to forget—and Lily decides to solve the murder. I loved the sheep! They all had such wonderful personalities! And the mystery was a good one!

And finally (yes, there’s more!), having enjoyed the third (so far) of Kenneth Brannagh’s Agatha Christie movies, I decided to search out the first two and watch them. Murder on the Orient Express (Disney +) was another enjoyable mystery featuring the curmudgeonly Hercule Poirot. Seeking a holiday from solving mysteries, Poirot accepts a berth on the Orient Express from the owner, a friend. When an avalanche strands the train, one of the passengers is discovered stabbed to death. Everyone seems to have the motive, means, and opportunity and Poirot despairs discovering the truth. But when he inevitably does, he questions if revealing the truth will serve justice.

My first listen of June was Generation Hex by Molly Harper, the third in her Moonshadow Cove trilogy. Pearl (Perry) Seaworth is feeling isolated. Her younger sisters Coral (Cora) and Tourmaline (Linney) have both moved into Starfall Point with their respective partners and she’s left playing nanny to newborn kelpie Shortbread (Shortie) and trying to manage a cove filled to overflowing with spellbound ghosts and a failing containment system (the locker). She’s also trailing behind in her efforts to claim her heritage as a finfolk sea witch — she can’t fully transform or enter the family’s Finfolkaheim — but she’s shouldered the full burden of being the last Seaworth in Moonshadow Cove, with all the problems and secrets that entails.

Worse, the Red Jasper Society, who police witches and their magic and can take their magic away, wants to inspect the cove and the ghosts barely contained there and Perry’s not entirely sure local agent James Huntingdon is on their side. Plus, she’s developing feelings for the man, something she doesn’t think she can entertain. Not to mention the continuing threat of the Sandshears, who would like nothing more than to take everything Perry holds dear. An entertaining cozy paranormal and fitting conclusion to the trilogy.

I took a break from audiobooks to catch up on It’s Storytime with Wil Wheaton again.

Then, I listened to Ada Hoffmann’s Ignore All Previous Instructions, a queer, neurodivergent adventure told in dual timelines. In the present, autistic AI script supervisor Kelli Reynolds edits AI-generated scripts for tech conglomerate Inspiration based on stories she used to tell her friends in childhood. Then, her ex, Rowan, arrives on Callisto with a request. He’s gotten into debt with a syndicate to obtain gender affirming surgery and needs Kelli to meet with the syndicate boss’s daughter, who’s a huge fan of her work. It’ll just be a discussion with a fan. He promises.

In the past, Em (Rowan’s past/dead self) befriends Kelli, who has been assigned a robot to help her integrate with her neurotypical classmates (a metaphor for ABA therapy). The way the robot tries to control Kelli — who is fine just as she is — irritates Em, and she becomes a prompt engineer/hacker to free Kelli from its oppression. The two bond over Kelli’s stories, and Em recruits their classmates to participate in and act out their collaborative tales. This timeline follows Em and Kelli into high school, when they start to date in secret, Em’s realization that he’s trans, and the tragedy that estranges them. Loved!

I finished reading Owl King by Bex Hogan, the second in her YA fantasy Faery Realms series. You don’t have to have read the first book, Nettle, to enjoy Owl King. While it’s set in the same world and Nettle and Ellion are secondary characters, Owl King stands on its own. Lyla is devoted to her half-faery sister Ilsette whom their mother abandoned. They live in the faery realm of Never Moon, under the pall of cruel Cato, the eponymous king.

But the king has commanded that every faery in the realm attend the Centennial Feathered Ball and neither Lyla nor Ilsette can refuse. Their intent is to remain unnoticed in the crown, but Ilsette, whose voice is the sweetest in the realm, is heard singing and the sisters are separated when the king demands a performance. Though the faeries in attendance applaud her performance, Cato sees through her disguise and ejects her from the ball because she is tainted by her human half. Ilsette evades her guards and finds her way back to Lyla, but Cato has been captured by Lyla’s beauty and announces that they will marry. Ilsette is horrified. Everyone knows what happens to the faeries Cato takes to wife …

With elements of Bluebeard and The 1,001 Arabian Nights, Owl King is a dark but touching tale about the bonds of family, born and found, tragic, but ultimately hopeful.

Next, I listened to The Desert Prince by Peter V. Brett. I’d forgotten how much I enjoyed The Demon Cycle (and how quickly I devoured the audiobooks), and when I happened upon this first book in Brett’s Nightfall Saga, I snapped it up.

Arlen Bales sacrificed himself to kill the demon queen and most of her spawn, Leesha Paper is Duchess of Hollow, and Ahmann Jardir rules Crasia from Everam’s Bounty. It’s been 15 peaceful years since the Daylight War and Leesha is raising Olive, her intersex child, as a girl and training her to become the future duchess of Hollow. Darin Bales carries darkness inside him and the burden of his father’s legacy on his shoulders. Under the waning moon, both Olive and Darin discover that demons have returned in force and they fight like they have a mind directing them. But then Olive is abducted, and Leesha disappears along with Renna Bales, leaving a field strewn with the bodies of the warded children in their wake. Jardir launches an investigation of his own but never returns. An excellent beginning to this sequel series.

So, of course I proceeded directly into The Hidden Queen. Having survived (sorry – spoilers) their encounter with Alagai Ka, the demon king, Olive Paper and Darin Bales make their way back to Hollow, by way of Everam’s Bounty. Their parents are still missing, and Olive knows Alagai Ka is planning to feed them to his new demon queen when she hatches. But Olive is coronated Duch of Hollow (as she/they are gender fluid and intersex) and must see to matters of state in Hollow before mounting a rescue mission. Worse, Inevera tells Olive to go to the Spear of Ala, not to Safehold where her parents are being held. So, Olive and Darin split up, and hope that they’re both still alive to reunite afterward.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: May 2026 update

June 7, 2026 / Melanie Marttila / Leave a comment

News! And I finally swing into action … gently.

Life in general

In May, I reduced my intake of political content for my personal wellbeing. I couldn’t do a thing about any of it, anyway. My level of dysregulation was getting worse, and my capacity decreased with each ensuing day.

At work on the 4^th, I received an enquiry from my director about how long my repayment period for my leave with income averaging would be, which to me meant that they were taking it into consideration for my departure date. I answered as best I could.

Then I was asked about what kind of recognition I wanted for the King Charles III Coronation Medal I received … in January 2025. I said I would prefer a group celebration including long service awards, etc. I don’t like being the centre of attention at the best of times. Why make a fuss more than a year after the fact?

On the 5^th, my manager indicated she was waiting for some information about the voluntary departure program (VDP) and would like to meet with me the next day. I was in a pension information session on Wednesday and let her know my availability.

My director then scheduled three meetings for May 7, May 28, and June 18. I figured the first meeting would be about the VDP analysis and results, and the onset of the selection of employees for retention or layoff (SERLO) process, the next stage in workforce adjustment (WFA). Spoiler: I was wrong.

Turns out the VDP-related news my manager wanted to talk about on the 6^th was to select my departure date. Which I did, again, to the best of my ability. And she indicated that she would now make the business case for exceptional circumstances. I thought that this would already have been done …

And the waiting resumed.

Also on the 6^th, a boil water advisory was issued for Sudbury, New Sudbury, and Falconbridge. We found out after supper … and I had been drinking water all day. The spring flooding has likely overwhelmed a couple of water treatment plants. Public Health said the boil water advisory was only a precaution and that people probably wouldn’t get sick from drinking it.

The boil water advisory continued on the 7^th and, while at work, I was asked whether I wanted to apply for the pension reduction waiver. Of course I did (!!!!!!) I wanted every financial advantage available to me.

At the all-staff meeting on the 7^th, we were advised that letters including departure dates would start going out the next week, which I thought was odd given that my manager had just started making her business case for my desired departure date the day before …

On the 8^th, after two negative tests, the boil water advisory was rescinded, and everyone was advised to run their taps for five minutes on cold and then five minutes on hot to clear any residual bacteria in the system.

Back at work, an email from senior management was issued on the 12^th. Now that the early retirement incentive (ERI) had been approved, it complicated the WFA process. ERI was open to all employees, not just those who were affected by WFA, so they may have staff reductions in positions not affected. Also, it was open through to July 24^th. There had been 600 ERI applications at the time. The second kicker was that ERI could be denied by management.

There had also been 470 employees (including me) who had opted into the voluntary departure program (VDP) on March 26^th of a total desired reduction of 961. We had no idea how many of the 600 ERI applications would be approved and whether they would have any impact on the total number of positions that needed to be reduced overall.

In that same email, we were advised that letters confirming departure dates would not be issued until the week of May 25^th. This made more sense to me but protracted my wait by two more weeks.

We had two meetings on the 13^th regarding the email. Very little confirmation or additional information was provided.

I’ll divert now to how March’s snowmageddon has delayed spring in northeastern Ontario. Normally, by Victoria Day long weekend, the leaves are out, and the pin cherry blossoms in the back yard are a riot of white. On my walks, I generally see varying shades of pink and red and white crab apple flowers. Apple trees blossom. Lilacs and honeysuckle are setting bloom, and everything smells heavenly.

By this time of spring, the windows have been open for weeks and I’ve been able to hear the frogs singing their mating songs in the nearby marsh in the evenings.

But this year, it was May 15^th, the Friday before Victoria Day long weekend, and it was the first nice day we’d had. While the grass was busy greening, there was nary a leaf to be found. No flowers except for bulbs. It hadn’t been warm enough for long enough for the frogs to wake up.

Torvi and I had been seeing rabbits over the past couple of weeks, though. At first, they were in their piebald transitional fur, but now they were fully brown. Our irrepressible rhubarb was still irrepressible.

I hoped that the world would wake up and catch up. The weather was predicted to be seasonal (finally!) in the last weeks of May. But I worried about the bears. With such an overlong wintering, they’d be ravenous.

On Saturday, though, I was pleased to see the leaves emerging, and I heard the frogs singing! The astringent scent of poplar sap filled the air. By the final weekend of May, the spring tree blossoms were at the stage they normally would have been on the Victoria Day long weekend. We were only two weeks behind and the trees promised to make up the remaining difference in short order.

Work continued, I got new, short-term assignments to fill the time while I waited for my A project to be reviewed and approved by a client. I slipped into hyperfocus mode more often than not and had few, if any spoons left over at the end of the day.

On the 24^th, I realized that I’d been doing the nervous system equivalent of holding my breath since I received the letter informing me that I was affected by WFA back in January. I’ve been waiting to exhale for four months. No wonder I was exhausted!

The 27^th came and went without sign of a letter. The next division all-staff would be the next day. Were all the letters being issued on the morning of the 28^th?

Not exactly. I logged in on the 28^th to find that the scheduled division all-staff was rescheduled to June 1^st. And I had a new meeting with my director about my VDP application.

Short version: My VDP was approved and I had my desired departure date of November 4^th. My director said the letter should be issued by email following the meeting, she hoped by noon. All the details and instructions would be in it.

I felt very little during the meeting itself. Afterward, anxiety set in, the full-body buzzing-bee kind.

Noon came and went and an administrivial emergency cropped up. This was addressed by 3 pm.

The end of the day arrived and still no letter.

My intention had been to read through the letter, begin to frame my strategy, and then take the rest of the day and Friday off to process and recover.

Now I had to log in the next day.

The letter had arrived! I read the email, reviewed the three attachments, a bunch of related links, and started to work through the checklist. I started with an enquiry to the pension unit.

Then I checked through my particulars, updated some information, and submitted my departure request. I was supposed to attach two documents, but the system would only accept one.

So, I finally put in sick leave for the remainder of the day and logged out.

There was no relief. Not yet.

The month in writing

In the early days of the month, I focused on getting caught up on my reviews.

That was until the publisher of The Seaboard Review of Books announced that the publication was going on hiatus effective the 20^th. They’d still publish the reviews they’d already received, and that were due to be received, but they were not looking for more reviewers and were suspending their new fiction edition.

But by then, my energy had petered out, and I was running on fumes. It was a good day if I managed a sentence or maybe a paragraph (and most of those were on this document, which is basic reporting). Now I was on hiatus. Functional burnout is a bitch.

My review of Joe Mahoney’s A Time and a Place was published by The Seaboard Review of Books in their Throwback Thursday feature on the 14^th.

The cover of A Time and a Place by Joe Mahoney.

On the 18^th, Mat Del Papa and I recorded an episode of Holly Gutwillinger’s podcast, Ramblings from the Little Shed. We had fun chatting about our pets and SuperCanucks. I’ll let you know when the episode comes out.

My Throwback Thursday review of Scott Overton’s Dead Air was published on the 21^st.

My review of J.A. McLachlan’s The Sorrow Stone was TSRB Throwback Thursday review on the 28^th.

The cover of The Sorrow Stone by J.A. McLachlan.

In writerly business, the TWUC Pre-AGM was on the 21^st followed a week later by the AGM. The perennial topic of older, more financially secure members uncomfortable with change wanting an in-person AGM and conference, or at least a hybrid option, raised its gory head again. The issue was resolved during the pre-AGM meeting and the motion withdrawn. The AGM went smoothly.

I had scheduled an SF Canada Board meeting for the 31^st but with the receipt of my voluntary departure approval and departure date (and the associated difficulties starting the process with pensions and pay and all that) I was so dysregulated that I forgot about the meeting altogether. Rejection sensitive dysphoria set in and I flagellated myself for the rest of the evening.

Filling the well

The full flower moon in Scorpio was on the 1^st, also Bealtaine! It was a cold, rain-snowy day, but I lit up my altar. Bonus, the last of March’s snowmageddon snow was finally melting!

The new willow moon in Taurus was on the 16^th. We were still in a spate of cloudy, cooler-than-seasonal days.

And the full blue moon in Sagittarius was on the 31^st. It was a howl-worthy moon!

In terms of writerly events, I registered for Turning Premise into Plot with Courtney Maum through Jane Friedman on the 2^nd but watched the replay. Excellent!

The Canadian Artists Network (CAN) Summit was on the 13^th and 14^th. Because of work and other obligations, I waited and watched the replays.

Also on the 13^th was an evening with Charlie Angus, a Wordstock fundraiser. It was a great night, a great talk, and I got to see a bunch of local writerly friends. I bought a copy of the book, natch, and got it signed by the author. Charlie was looking a bit tired though, so I didn’t go all fangirl on him and tell him that I subscribed to his Substack or that I was currently reading his wife’s book, The Haunting of Modesto O’Brien. Lost opportunities.

Had to recover after.

SF Book Recommendations with Elizabeth Bear was also on the 13^th, but the recording would be posted. I watched it later that night. Again, a great selection of books, old and new, some of which I’d read, and some not.

On the 14^th, the Banff Centre hosted an information session on their programming. As I’m hoping to apply for one of their programs in February 2027, I wanted to see if I could get an insider perspective. Unfortunately, it wasn’t terribly informative and didn’t include the program I wanted to apply for.

Because I had to miss the Sudbury launch of Seldom Seen Road by John Degan on the 8^th (because work), I caught him at his Indigo signing on the 16^th. I introduced myself and proceeded to talk his ear off for the next 20 minutes. He looked bemused, but the mask was off and he got full force Mellie.

Another recovery.

I signed up for “Abandon Your Outline and Elevate Your Story” presented by Steven James through Jane Friedman on the 20^th. I watched the replay. Revelations (!) I’m learning that I am a pantser, or discovery writer, first and foremost. My every attempt to outline (even retroactively) has met with failure.

When I watched Shaelin’s video on how to write book without outlining it: structure, crafting a strong draft, and mindset, it only reinforced what I’d learned in the webinar. It’s all part of my quest to design a creative process that works with my neurodivergence rather than against it.

It’s one of my missions this year.

I attended the launch of Blaine Thornton’s Here’s to Letting Go on the 22^nd. It was a fabulous evening, and Blaine teamed up with a musician and a typewriter to stage their performance.

Recovery, again.

Then, on the 25^th, I registered for an Off-Topic Publishing webinar (follow them on Eventbright and you’ll be notified when a new offering is made) on “End-stops and enjambment: playing with line breaks in poetry” with Marian Lougheed. It was short and sweet and hit the spot.

On the 27^th, I registered for a Canadian Authors Association/SF Canada webinar, “How to transition from writing to podcasting” presented by Costi Gurgu. Again, managing spoons, I wanted to watch the replay, but the replay of the last CAA/SFC webinar I’d registered for still hadn’t been posted to either the CAA site or on their Circle platform, even though there is a section devoted to video and promising to host the webinars …

Also on the 27^th, I signed up for “Showing and Telling” with Tiffany Yates Martin through Jane Friedman. I can depend on Jane to provide the replay in a timely manner. This was one of the better webinars on the topic with lots of practical examples from popular novels on how and when to show and how and when to show.

Finally, I registered for “Accommodate Yourself: How to Build a Writing Process that Works for You” presented by Weeknight Writers. It was part of a conference, but after all the events (online and in person) I’d attended this month, I had to conserve my spoons and just chose the session I was truly interested in. It was great, and my registration got me access to the whole event! I’ll be catching up on all the sessions when I have the spoons.

Finnish classes continued on Monday evenings throughout the month, though I missed the one on Victoria Day Monday because I was recording a podcast (see: The month in writing).

I took my mom for a hair appointment on the 9^th. It was her first since snowmageddon, and her hair was super long, but she managed the stairs like a champ.

Recovery.

My next therapy appointment was on the 14^th. We started framing our work together (recovering from burnout, mitigating future burnout, managing my current major transitions – workforce adjustment and caregiving – creating a life that works with my neurodivergence rather than against it).

Recovery.

On the 21^st, my support group met. This month’s topic was relationships.

And on the 23^rd, I took my mom to visit a friend of hers.

Recovery.

Friends visited from out of town on the 30^th. Great visit. Much needed.

Still had to recover.

I’m finding that in my current state, if I do anything other than work in a day, or anything other than my rituals and planned activities on a weekend, it dysregulates, and I have to take extra time to myself.

What I’m watching and reading

The first full week of May was finale week for several shows.

My first watch of May was the second (and last) season of Watson (CBS/Global). This reimagining of Sherlock Holmes features Watson as a Black geneticist and takes place after Holmes and Moriarty apparently die after they plunge over Reichenbach Falls. Watson survives his attempt to save Holmes but has suffered a traumatic brain injury (TBI). Holmes bequeaths Watson enough money to start a clinic, which he does in Pittsburgh. At the Holmes Clinic for Diagnostic Medicine, Watson and four brilliant interns solve medical mysteries, while figures from Watson’s past return to complicate matters.

In season one, Moriarty plots to undermine Watson. In season two, Holmes himself returns, but asks that Watson keep his existence a secret. When it’s revealed later in the season that Watson has a glioblastoma and is hallucinating Holmes, it brings into question Holmes survival. The remainder of the season, though packed with twisty drama, was hastily brought to a close in the final episode. Yes, the series was cancelled.

Then, I watched the season 8 finale of The Rookie (ABC/CTV). Nolan and the LAPD started the season in Prague with a joint FBI and Interpol op. Nolan and Bailey had the unenviable task of minding Monica. The President visits LA, and Tim takes over as watch commander as Grey is working with the LAPD/FBI Taskforce with Garza. Wesley decides to run for DA. Bailey takes a position in DC, and she and Nolan navigate a long-distance relationship. Lucy takes dire action while trapped with a bunch of deranged and violent people. Liam Glasser, a serial killer, plagues the LAPD throughout the season. Monica’s story comes to a tragic end. Tim proposes to Lucy and then the season-ending cliffhanger leaves them both in peril. This series continues to be entertaining, even if the events are increasingly improbable.

The next finale was season 4 of Will Trent (ABC/CTV). Serial killer James Ulster may be dead, but he still haunts Will (as an aspect of Will’s psyche). Will’s uncle Antonio is abducted and then Will shares the same fate, drawn in by Adelaide, Ulster’s daughter. As other crimes are solved, Will recovers and continues to search for Adelaide, finally finding her and rescuing Antonio, but he is unable to prevent Amanda Wagner’s death. The finale itself was devastating, though ultimately hopeful, as Will, Faith, Angie, Ormewood, and Franklin unite despite their losses and prepare to take down a human trafficking ring. Looking forward to season 5!

Then, Grey’s Anatomy (ABC/CTV) finished its 22^nd (!) season. The season began with a literal bang as an explosion rocked the hospital and injured Linc. Various couples came together and fell apart, as they always do, and the season ended with a bridge collapsing. It was the usual soap-y goodness that keeps me coming back.

I finished watching the second season of The Last Thing He Told Me (Apple TV). I haven’t read the book the series was based on and … I confess I didn’t think the show needed a second season. It did complete the story and Hannah and Bailey do get more agency. Things do sort themselves out and the family is able to reunite and live their lives in relative peace. It was okay.

Next, I watch The Punisher: One Last Kill (Disney +). I haven’t watched the series, but I know the story. In this … final … chapter, while crime still infects the city around him, including a group of young bullies who take an unhoused man’s dog and throw it in front of a truck (I already want Frank to kill these fucks), Frank is still haunted by the ghosts of his friends and family. He contemplates unaliving himself but can’t go through with it. Then, Ma Gnucci, whose entire family Frank killed, shows up and tells Frank that she’s issued a bounty for him and told all comers to head to his address. The rest of the hour is bloody chaos as Frank fights his way out of the hotel and into the street where, rather than pursuing the assassins, he moves to save the innocent bystanders. In the end, Frank dons his skull shirt and continues his quest, starting with the bullies still harassing the bereaved unhoused man.

Phil and I watched the finale of Good Omens (Prime). It was sad that the “he-who-must-not-be-named” issues caused what should have been a full third season to be squished into a movie. The acting is still brilliant, and they did a really good job for such a compressed timeframe. Our star-crossed lovers get their happy ending, though. I won’t spoil anything because I think it’s worth watching if you love Good Omens and Pratchett’s legacy.

Phil and I also watched the final season of The Boys (Prime). It was a fitting, but somewhat open-ended climax and denouement. Hughie, Mother’s Milk, and Frenchie are all in a concentration camp at the beginning of the season. Annie is on the run and working with A-Train and Marie, Jordan, and Emma (from Gen V) to undermine Vaught and Homelander with guerilla tactics. Kimiko was actually so irritating at the camp that she was sent away but she escapes to join the gang when Butcher, Annie, and A-Train stage an escape. Frenchie works with Dr. Shah to perfect a virus that will kill any supe. Meanwhile, Homelander has delusions of godhood and is determined to get his hands on the last of the V1, the version of the drug given to Soldier Boy, so he can become immortal. Things get out of hand, as they always do, main characters die, and everyone gets their just desserts in the end, but Vaught is still around and trying to put together another corporate super team … Bloody diabolical!

Then, I watched Remarkably Bright Creatures (Netflix). My heart! Haven’t read the book yet, but this movie was everything. Two people deeply wounded by loss enter each other’s orbits seemingly by chance, and a wise, old octopus holds the key to healing their hearts. You will cry. In a good way. A balm of a movie. Watch it!

Finally, I finished watching season 2 of the prequel series The Bad Guys (Netflix). They suffer a weird case of amnesia, compete over who can refrain from doing crime the longest, are taken in by a scam by Snake’s mother Sepentina, visited by Wolf’s mentor D.B. Cougar, are challenged by a copycat crew, have AI troubles, almost lose their streak when Shark goes rogue to vanquish an old nemesis, are taken into custody by Tanya Ripper, who, after catching every criminal, sets her sights on every minor misdemeanor, and finally escape and turn the tables on Ripper, freeing the city. This continues to be an entertaining series.

My first listen of May was The Salvage Crew by Yudhanjaya Wijeratne. AI overseer Amber Rose was once human, loves reciting and composing poetry in its spare time, is kind of Buddhist, and will try to use the strategy game go as a learning opportunity for its human crew. It’s been assigned a crew of three people riddled with PTSD, mental health issues, and attitude problems and sent to Urmahon Beta, a planet in the ass end of nowhere, to salvage the remains of a downed colony ship. The planet is supposed to be uninhabited, but there’s a weird city and herds of megafauna and Mercers — cyborgs — who are infected with some machine virus that transmits to Amber Rose’s human crew. And all that’s before the weird city starts to speak. Nabbed it on a recommendation. Awesome! And the fact that it’s narrated by Nathon Fillion didn’t hurt!

I paused audiobooking to catch up on It’s Storytime with Wil Wheaton.

Then, I finished reading To Leave a Warrior Behind: The Life and Stories of Charles R. Saunders, the Man Who Rewrote Fantasy by Jon Tattrie. Saunders was considered the father of the “Sword and Soul” fantasy genre, drawing on African history and legend to centre Black heroes among the stories of Conan and Tarzan. Moving to Canada to avoid being drafted, Saunders found a home and community in Nova Scotia. Though dealt blow after blow by the publishing industry, he persisted and found champions for his work, producing five Imaro novels, two Dossouye novels, Damaballa, and Abegoni, dozens of short stories and essays, four non-fiction books, and three screenplays, not to mention his years as a journalist at the Halifax Daily News, where Tattrie met him. Saunders’ was literally a storied life, but he was also a recluse and died alone during the first wave of the COVID 19 pandemic in May of 2020. Saunders deserves more praise and his work more recognition. A fantastic biography.

Next, I read Richard Harrison’s My Mother Joins the Resistance. This poetry collection is a meditation on love and life and death and grief as Harrison processes his mother’s life and the death by MAID that she chose as an alternative to terminal lung cancer in 2017. In the title poem, his mother, Doreen, waiting for the doctor who will deliver her death, declares of hurricane Cindy, “When it pours down on the White House, that’s me pissing on Trump!” What a glorious woman! The whole collection delivers surprising hope and humour out of the darkest events. Adored every page.

Then, on an increasing number of recommendations, I listened to Dungeon Crawler Carl. Carl is a coast guard mechanic currently minding his ex’s Persian show cat, Princess Donut. In his loneliness, he’s considering running away with the cat, but Donut beats him to the punch by leaping out of an open window into a nearby tree. Heedless of the temperature, Carl races out in his leather jacket, boxers, and his ex’s too-small-for-him Crocs to rescue Donut, only to watch all the nearby buildings get crushed by some unseen force. He and Donut are then transported to an alien-sponsored game, where Donut is transformed into a talking cat, and they are forced to fight for their lives. As surreal and hilarious as you might expect, replete with snarky, in-game announcements, intergalactic social media, NPCs, MOBs, and sponsors. So. Much. FUN!

Next, I listened to The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers, the first in the Wayfarers Series. Ah! Loved it! Rosemary Harper assumes a new identity to escape Mars and the family she is fundamentally at odds with. She takes a job as a file clerk on the Wayfarer, an aging amalgamation of a ship that creates stable wormholes that connect remote parts of the galaxy. Shortly after she joins the crew — humans Ashby, the captain, Kizzie and Jenks, the engineers, Corbin, the algaeist, Aandrisk pilot Sissix, Grum doctor and cook, Dr Chef, Sianat Pair navigator Ohan, and AI Lovey — Ashby receives a lucrative job offer to punch a wormhole for a potential new member race of the Galactic Commons. But to do that, the Wayfarer will have to travel the long way as there are no wormholes in that part of the galaxy.

Just as Chambers does in her Monk and Robot series, she shows us a world where the default is to be respectful and kind. That doesn’t mean that everyone gets along or that nothing happens. Chambers puts the crew through it, but they do emerge mostly unscathed in the end. I know I’m late to the party on this one, but trust me, the book is amazing.

Finally, I listened to The Eyre Affair, the first in Jasper Fforde’s Thursday Next series. I met the author in 2017 on the Writing Excuses Retreat – Baltic cruise edition and was just reminded of him and Thursday Next when the announcement came out that he would be publishing the final book in the series (!) I figured I should get on that.

Thursday Next is a Special Operations Literary tech in an alternate world England, where the Crimean war still rages and books are taken very seriously. Factions argue over who wrote the plays attributed to Shakespeare and hundreds of men take the name John Milton in homage. They even have a whole division of the secret service, SO27 dedicated to solving literary crimes. Thursday is a veteran of the unending Crimean war where her brother died. Her father is a rogue time traveller, and her uncle is a brilliant inventor who has created a way to enter books. Not that Thursday needs her uncle’s invention. She entered the pages of her beloved Jane Eyre as a child and facilitated Jane and Edward’s first meeting, though she’s always been disappointed in the ending. Jane becomes a missionary with St. John Rivers in India? Still, it’s her favourite book.

Acheron Hades, the third most wanted criminal in the world, steals the original manuscript of Martin Chuzzlewit and then kidnaps Thursday’s uncle, Mycroft, using his invention to murder a minor character, who then disappears from every edition (!) He’ll kill the protagonist next if he doesn’t get what he wants. And then, there’s the Goliath Corporation, who want Mycroft’s invention for their own purposes. Can Thursday foil both the master criminal and the corporation, rescue her uncle and save literature? And how does Jane Eyre figure into the plot? Read and find out!

Full of dry wit and endless puns, The Eyre Affair is a fun read with a fast and twisty plot you won’t anticipate.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: April 2026 update

May 3, 2026 / Melanie Marttila / 1 Comment

The waiting game and existing in uncertainty.

A dynamic sky that looks like the ocean.

Life in general

As April started, I was deep in the well of uncertainty. Essentially, it’s where I dwell until I get the letter indicating my departure date.

But the Artemis II mission provided welcome hope and distraction. I watched the NASA livestreams every day. Just seeing these four people, including one Canadian, one woman, and one Black man, work together and express true wonder and joy in their jobs was a balm to my worn spirit.

Then, on the 7^th, Trump’s social media posted his announcement that “a whole civilization will die tonight.” The only way he could have done that was with nuclear weapons. With Trump’s increasingly erratic behaviour, no one could say for sure what he’d do.

The next day, he postponed his Armageddon by two weeks. A ceasefire was facilitated by Pakistan. But while the lists of demands on both sides were tentatively accepted, subject to negotiation, Israel’s refusal to stop attacking Lebannon threatened to put an end to both negotiations and the ceasefire.

Under pressure, Netanyahu authorized direct talks with Lebannon to disarm Hezbollah militants but insisted there was no ceasefire. The two nations have been at war since 1948.

There was a lot of back and forth — negotiations are back on, no, they’re not, the US is blockading the Strait of Hormuz — so much so that I stopped trying to keep track.

Other things happened, and I kept up with those through Heather Cox Richardson (on YouTube), to whom I’ll refer you if you want to find out more. The ceasefire was due to end May 1^st.

At work, my team lead departed and my team was left without supervision. Not really, other team leads stepped in, but it meant that I could (and was) be assigned work from multiple people at any given time. After two days of putting out fires and diverting to “side quests,” I was extra dysregulated and in need of a break.

Then, a week full of appointments and a meeting with my director to discuss whether I wanted to abandon the voluntary departure program and opt into the newly-minted early retirement incentive had me further dysregulated. But I managed as I put my workload back in order and took my time.

In the last days of April, all fires put out and mysteries solved, I got back to what was supposed to be my “A” project and things started to settle.

The month in writing

The first decision I made was to set aside work on the two short stories that have been languishing since the beginning of the year. Both stories aren’t quite “right” yet and the solutions to their respective problems haven’t emerged. I realized that this was a form of procrastination.

So, I got back to Reality Bomb because solutions to that story’s problems have been bouncing around in my head since January. It’s time to implement them.

And I hoped to catch up on a couple of reviews that I’d been sitting with. They’re both for poetry collections and I’ve felt like a bit of a fraud in that arena. I only have the one collection out myself and both collections are deep and intricate, and I worry that I won’t do them justice. I have to set those concerns aside, as well. It’s another form of procrastination.

But then, a new publishing opportunity and deadline opened up, and had to think about which story had the potential to fit the submission guidelines.

After only a few days, I lapsed into inactivity again, though. I’m still so dysregulated … I can’t even.

On April 1^st, I was River Street Writing’s first poet in their 2026 National Poetry Month promotion.

The River Street Writing National Poetry Month promo for "time and tide."

Then, on the 3^rd, Murgatroyd Monaghan posted a promo for the Neurodiverses poetry showcase.

On the 4^th, I received a set of interview questions for the Sustainability vs. Ambition blog series Nina Munteanu is doing for Reality Skimming. I set to, despite my fraud-like feelings at the prospect.

My review of A.L. Jensen’s (AKA Liisa Kovala’s) Hygge and Homicide was published in The Seaboard Review of Books on the 6^th.

The cover of Hyyge and Homicide by A.L. Jensen.

A rejection for the flash fiction piece I submitted early last month came in on the 7^th. Though I’m disappointed, I really like the story and am already thinking about other opportunities.

My publisher, Latitude 46, promoted their poetry backlist for National Poetry Month, and The Art of Floating received its promo on the 7^th. They even tied my moon poems into the Artemis II mission! Adored!

My interview with Emily Andrews for her CKLU radio show was on the 11^th. I had a lot of fun chatting with Emily. I’m looking forward to the broadcast!

Also on the 11^th, I received notification that I had not been selected for the shortlist of the contest I submitted to last month. Again, I like the story, but it’s not my typical SFF subject matter. It’s going to be a challenge to place it elsewhere.

And I participated in Neurodiverses: A National Autism/National Poetry Month showcase on the 18^th. It was a fabulous, intimate event, and I got to read some of my more recent autism poems.

Filling the well

The full sugaring moon in Libra was on the first, also April Fool’s Day, on which I was grateful to escape the bulk of jokes and pranks.

The Easter long weekend followed, and my small family eschewed a stressful celebration this year, opting instead to celebrate my sister-in-law’s birthday (April 6^th) at our favourite restaurant.

The new alder moon in Aries was on the 17^th.

And it’s the triumphant return of MOON pictures!

In writing-related events, I signed up for K.M. Weiland’s “Ego-Driven vs. Soul-Driven Character Arcs” course on the 1^st. She’s starting a new story school and because I’ve been a newsletter subscriber, I received early notification. I love what Katie’s doing with story structure and character arcs these days.

I also signed up for her next course, “The Villain as an Aspect of the Hero’s Psyche,” on the 15^th. I had the option to watch the replay. This course played into the idea of the villain being the hero’s shadow, and delved into the negative archetypal aspects of the character archetypes.

Can-Con Virtual was on the 18^th. But because of work-related dysregulation and the Neurodiverses poetry reading, I decided to catch these on replay.

And I finished the month off with The FOLD online from April 26^th to 29^th. Again, as I was working, I chose to pace myself and watch the sessions I was interested in later.

Also on the 26^th, I signed up for “How to get out of burnout and back to creating” with Gauri Yardi. This course was a referral/recommendation from Golden May. It was an excellent session, and Gauri has a lot of experience addressing burnout.

On the 28^th, I signed up for a presentation on “The Queen of Wands: Fairy Lore in the Tarot” with Sara & Brittany of the Carterhaugh School. Being a tarot fan myself, I wanted to see what they had to say about the intersection of fairytales and tarot.

Finally, Kisten Keiffer offered a mini-course called “The 7-minute Method.” It was about challenging resistance and getting back to creating.

I’m seeing a theme with all these courses. Functional burnout for the win!

I registered for intermediate Finnish through the Sudbury Finnish School. Lessons started April 13^th and will continue for eight weeks.

Because of a conflict, I selected a different night to attend my support group this month. Good Company met on the 16th and the topic was hormonal changes and menopause. It was great!

My massage therapist was injured back in January, but she informed me late last month that she was fully recovered and taking clients again. My first scheduled massage of the year was on the 22^nd. I missed her SO much! Apparently, I’ve been carrying ALL my stress in my neck (!)

I took my mom to her doctor’s appointment on the 23^rd. I’m going to accompany her to these in the future, so I can better provide for her care.

My next therapy session was on the 24^th. I lied last month. There were still two value domains to explore and we managed them in addition to my monthly brain dump.

Torvi’s monthly touch up was on the 25^th. The groomer suggested that we try a full bath again. I don’t think she knows what she’s asking for.

Finally, on the 30^th, I made an appointment with my orthodontist to have my retainer assessed. I’ve been feeling some pressure on my teeth and was concerned that maybe I’d need to have it replaced. Not so. The retainer is fine. It just needed a little adjustment, I was out of the office in 15 minutes, and there was no charge.

And then I went out to a family birthday (2-in-1) at a local restaurant. Good evening. Tasty food. Still had to recover after. Yes, even fun stuff costs spoons.

What I’m watching and reading

The first series I finished watching in April was the second season of The Artful Dodger (Disney +). At the end of the first season, Jack was arrested just as he was about to operate on Belle’s heart (!) Fortunately, he was allowed to operate, though off-screen, as the second season picks up months later, with Belle fully recovered and Jack in prison. Fagin arranges to Jack’s conditional release and immediate embroils his former apprentice in his latest scheme. But Jack isn’t the only one drawn in. Belle’s sister Fanny turns out to be a deft hand at forgery. Medically, there is a serial killer on the loose who removes their victims’ organs (of course, Jack is under suspicion), and Jack and Belle must work first to discover the cause of an outbreak of cholera, and then to find a cure for it. Though the season ends with both medical mysteries solved and Belle and Jack firmly reunited, Fagin’s desperate play to fake his own suicide has backfired on him and he comes to in his own coffin, buried alive by his crew. I assume this means a season three is in the works, though no official announcement has been made yet.

Then, I watched Wicked for Good (Prime). I have not read MacGuire’s book, nor have I seen the musical (I know). Despite that, I enjoyed the conclusion to the tale and the ultimately hopeful ending. I know it would have meant an even longer movie, but I would have appreciated seeing more of Dorothy’s journey (most of which happened off-stage or in shadow play or only looking at her back) and a bit more about Fiyero’s transformation and role in Dorothy’s adventures.

Next, I finished watching the second season of High Potential (CTV/ABC). Morgan and Karadec solve a bunch more cases, relying on Morgan’s HP intellect, Morgan and captain Wagner get close, and the search for Morgan’s missing husband Roman takes a series of increasingly dark turns. The finale blows up several relationships and leaves one life hanging in the balance. I continue to enjoy this series.

I finished watching the second season of Cross (Prime). Alex Cross is conflicted this season as he pursues Luz, a virtuous serial killer taking down the Billionaire tech-bros whose experimental treatments killed her mother and who use children as slave labour in their labs and factories. A solid second season.

Then, I watched the second season of The Pitt (HBO Max/Crave). This series has consistently been one of the best I’ve seen in recent years. It has a truly diverse cast (looking at you, Dr. King) and every character has their own arc that weaves its way through the chaos of patients in the emergency department. This season is centred around Dr. Rabinovitch (Robbie) as he prepares to leave on a three-month sabbatical/motorcycle pilgrimage once he finishes an apocryphal Fourth of July dayshift in the ED. A systems outage and the detention of one of their own by ICE officers are just the tip of the iceberg. The season centres on mental health and asking for help and finding healthy ways to deal with the stress. Superb!

Phil and I finished watching the fourth season of Invincible (Prime). This one’s a heavy season. In the first episodes, almost every enemy from past seasons returns to challenge Mark and the other heroes. Eve gets pregnant and it wreaks havoc with her powers, but before she can tell Mark, Nolan and Allan show up and recruit Mark to help them kill the remaining Viltrumites. Of course, Oliver has to go, too. And it gets bloody. In a desperate final effort, Nolan, Mark, and Thaedus burrow through the Viltrum home world and destroy it, but there are still 37 Viltrumites left alive. Mark and Oliver and even Nolan almost die multiple times. Mark, plagued by PTSD, makes a fateful deal, and Allan, who has become the leader of the Coallition after Thaedus’ death, is asked to commit genocide. A bloody, but compelling season. Looking forward to season 5!

Next, I finished season three of Shrinking (Apple TV). Everything changes this season! Alice graduates and leaves for college! Louis moves on! Paul retires and moves away! Brian and Charlie welcome their baby! Derek has a heart attack, and he and Liz apply tough love with their son. Sean gets the job of his dreams and moves out of Jimmy’s pool house. Gaby suffers a professional and personal setback and does a reverse ninja proposal! And Jimmy? He tries dating Sofi, but everything implodes when his dad comes to visit. But Paul “Jimmy’s” Jimmy at the last minute before he leaves. How will Jimmy fare now that half his support system is gone? That’s what next season is about (I think). Excellent!

Finally, I finished watching the first, short (9 episodes, not necessarily short in terms of streaming series, but most networks are still producing between 19 and 22 a season) season of RJ Decker (ABC/CTV). RJ was a photojournalist until he beat up a kid who stole his camera. The kid’s sister testifies against him and he’s sentenced to prison. Upon his release, he starts up a PI business in south Florida with the help of his ex-wife, a journalist, her wife, a cop, a fellow ex-con and bartender, and the woman who sent him to prison. The series is based on the novel Double Whammy by Carl Hiaasen and was entertaining. ABC has not decided about renewal … yet.

My first read of April was The Book of Interruptions by Khashayar “Kess” Mohammadi. These poems meet at the intersection of war, immigration, sexuality, history, and the crossroads of Perso-Islamic and Western philosophy. Like Margo Lapierre’s Ajar, it’s taking me some time to let Khashayar’s poetry find a home in me. Heady and heavy stuff.

Then, I finished listening to Popular Tales from the Norse, translated by George Webbe Dasent. All the favourites are here and, oddly, at the end, several Anansi tales are thrown in (?) I always enjoy folktales and fairy tales, regardless.

Next, I listened to the Audible Original/Great Courses collaboration Self-Care Strategies: Nourish to Flourish by Katie McDonald. In 15 lessons covering everything from work to spirituality, McDonald provides foundational practices that go beyond getting a mani and pedi at the spa. I do most of what she suggests already, and some of what she advised reminded me of the values work I’ve been engaged in with my therapist.

Then, I finished reading Freya Marske’s A Marvellous Light. Young and cash-strapped baronet Robin Blythe feels fortunate to have been assigned to a minor government post. He soon learns that he’s been named liaison to a secret magical society he never suspected existed. Edwin Courcey walks into Robin’s office expecting to find his predecessor, Reggie, and is distressed to learn he’s missing. When Robin is cursed and begins to have visions of the future, he reluctantly turns to Edwin—the only magician he knows—in an attempt to gain relief from the wracking curse and find the artefact the mysterious people who cursed him seem to want and think is in his possession. Together, they uncover a plot that threatens every magician in the British Isles. And not unexpectedly, they also uncover romantic feelings for each other, risky in this alternate Edwardian setting. Excellent!

Next, I read One Day Everyone Will Have Always Been Against This by Omar El Akkad. It’s a devastating book that indicts the systems we live within, where liberals are more likely to be centrists, or even conservatives in disguise; where genocide is a word best not spoken; where politics trumps basic human values. Between reflections on the world and how it’s changed since October 7, 2023, El Akkad recounts his own emigration, his initial belief that the west was better than the country of his birth, his development as a journalist and author, and his disillusionment beginning with the attacks of 9/11. This book is both his Dear John and a fuck you to the west and its systems of oppression. The book’s title was taken from the author’s tweet of October 25^th, 2023: “One day, when it’s safe, when there’s no personal downside to calling a thing what it is, when it’s too late to hold anyone accountable, everyone will have always been against this.”

I listened to T. Kingfisher’s Paladin’s Strength. I’d listened to the first in the series, Paladin’s Grace, last year and adored it. Istvahn is a paladin of the dead god the Saint of Steel and a berserker without divine guidance. He’s on a mission tracking the smooth men, a supernatural threat, across the continent. On the way, he meets Sister Clara, who’s on a mission of her own — to rescue her sisters, who were abducted after their convent was burned. They team up to accomplish both their goals, but Clara has a secret she’s loathe to reveal, even to the paladin she’s falling in love with. I just love, love, love T. Kingfisher’s novels!

So, of course, I listened to Paladin’s Hope next. Galen is another of the dead Saint of Steel’s paladins, now working for the Temple of the Rat. The death of the Saint left him with PTSD and night terrors in which he relives the chaos that followed his god’s death. No one can touch him when he’s trapped in his night terrors as he is deep in the battle tide and strikes out at anyone nearby. He’s come to terms with the fact that he’ll always be alone, except for his fellow paladins, who are the only people he feels safe around. Piper is a lich-doctor (read coroner) who determines the cause of death for the Rat’s lawyers and the city guard. When gnole constable Earstripe draws Piper’s attention to the latest in a series of mangled bodies washed ashore, the investigation takes all three of them into an ancient maze of deathtraps. As they struggle to survive, secrets are revealed, including the secrets of the heart.

Next, I finished reading Yield by Jaime Forsythe. This long poem dives into the experience of postpartum depression to which one has no choice but to yield. Presented against the backdrop of the Maritime coast, the metaphors are oceanic, reaching back to the amniotic fluid in which we all first learn to swim, and forward to a time when the postpartum veil is lifted. Liminality and the juxtaposition of states play out in couplets. A gorgeous collection.

Finally, I brought myself up to date with the Saint of Steel series by listening to Paladin’s Faith by T. Kingfisher. Margeurite Florain, an operative (read spy) returns after her appearance in book one of the series as Grace’s best friend. She is currently being hunted by her former employer, the Red Sail, and comes to the Temple of the Rat for help. Bishop Beartongue provides her with two paladins, Shane and Wren, to support her mission of finding an artificer who has made a machine that will extract salt from seawater, breaking the monopoly the Red Sail has on the market.

Shane trained for years to become a paladin of the Dreaming God, but he was never chosen. When the battle tide took him, Shane became a paladin of the Saint of Steel, but when that god died (or was he murdered?) it left a hole in Shane’s soul he’s been desperately trying to fill with good deeds since. He’d willingly die to protect Margeurite. It’s what he’s for, after all. Wren is short and doesn’t look like a paladin at all. Her preferred weapon is an axe. The three of them head to the Court of Smoke and then fall prey to an odd demonic cult in their quest to find the artificer and bring her safely back to the Rat. These books are so fun to read. Just my speed, these days.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: March 2026 update

April 5, 2026 / Melanie Marttila

An anthology launches! A decision is made! Next up: waiting for the fallout …

Life in general

The month started out with the literal bang of the US-Israeli bombing of Iran, what is now being called the 2026 Iran War. The conflict actually brought February to a close, on the 28^th, but none of us knew about it until we woke up on March 1^st and heard the news.

One of the first group of casualties was mostly schoolgirls. And the evidence pointed to the strike being of US origin, directed by an expert system. For a more nuanced (and frightening) examination, see this article by Kevin T. Baker for The Guardian.

Critics of the operation described it as illegal under US law (only Congress is supposed to be able to declare war), an act of imperialism, and a violation of Iran’s sovereignty under international law.

The US didn’t forewarn or evacuate any of its citizens in the region and now they’re stranded and having to find their own ways out of the war zone.

Yes, Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei is dead, but Trump doesn’t seem to have had any other game plan than shock and awe. It’s all giving entä nyt (Finnish for “now what?”) energy.

For more, check out this article for The Walrus by Shannon Gormley.

It’s all a smokescreen to distract from the Epstein Files, which still haven’t been disclosed in full.

Kristi Noem was moved to the Shield of the Americas (a non-existent organization) and Pam Bondi was under fire.

And the Russia-Ukraine war continues.

And the genocide in Gaza continues.

And so many other conflicts, I can’t remember them all.

At work, things went on as they went on. Another short-term project moved into a holding pattern because of leave and other conflicts. I was invited to observe the delivery of another pilot course. This time, however, I haggled to 3 days of a 5-day course, and I thought I was doing well until DST came along and messed me up (the course started on the 9^th). Also, I had a whole week of annual leave following the last day of observation, which was the ultimate relief.

I had other work to complete on the Tuesday and Thursday, anyway.

But on the Wednesday, there was another all-staff meeting, which I anticipated would be about workforce adjustment. Training observation was pushed to before my start time, and I said I’d just show up late. Maintaining boundaries, for the win!

The meeting was not entirely about WFA, but a portion of it was. We now had firmer dates for the process, but no better idea when our potential departure might be beyond a range of dates. For anyone opting into the voluntary departure program, our departure dates will be determined by management, and we’ll find out when a letter is sent to us in late April or early May. The worst-case scenario will leave us (me and Phil) skint for at least a month and with no guarantee when my separation monies or pension might be processed and issued.

Oh, the joy of a drawn-out process with a slow trickle of information which doesn’t help at all …

Then, during my week off, SNOWMAGEDDON hit, the bulk of it on the 15^th. We had received 10 cm on Friday already, and they were calling for 50 cm on Sunday. We got that and then some. And thunder snow!

The entire city was shut down on Monday and though they were working hard, they could not guarantee when the snow would be cleared from side streets and sidewalks. Apparently, this winter has been one of the snowiest in Sudbury’s history with 5 metres’ accumulation. The last time we had this much snow was in 1959 (!) And the winter isn’t over yet. We often have snow into April or even May.

On the Monday following the storm, the temperature plunged, making efforts to clear the snow even more challenging. Much of Sudbury remained shut down on Tuesday, largely due to the inability of people to get out of their own driveways or side streets.

Then, on Tuesday night (actually Wednesday morning) Marttila Drive was plowed, and not only that, someone (I’m assuming from the city) followed up and removed the plow shit from the ends of the driveways. Phil was so impressed, he sent a note of thanks to the no doubt feeling-less-than-appreciated municipal workers.

More snow arrived on Wednesday, and on Thursday, the temperature rose above freezing.

The whole time, sidewalks remained unplowed, and I was forced to walk Torvi up and around the apartments at the end of our street. Poor girl couldn’t figure out why we weren’t going on any of our usual routes.

She wasn’t the only one confused by the snow.

On my way home from the SuperCanucks launch (see the month in writing), I hit a wicked pothole that took out our exhaust/muffler/tailpipe. There was nothing to do in the moment but turn on my hazards and crawl home, hoping not to damage anything further as it trailed behind me. Fortunately, I made it home without incident and Phil was able to kluge the muffler and tailpipe back into place with some bailing wire he had in the garage.

The week following, Phil got our poor car to the mechanic and got her repaired.

Then came March 26, the deadline for opting into the voluntary departure program. I completed my form, submitted it, discussed it with my team lead, manager, and director, and promptly took the rest of the day and the next off.

Coincidentally, March 26^th was also my official 25-year work anniversary. Bittersweet moment, weird day.

I received my gift, a travel backpack, and my framed certificate the following Tuesday.

There was no sense of relief, because the process isn’t over. There was also no “oh, my god, what have I done?!” moment, either. I’ve been sitting with this decision for long enough that I have no doubt that leaving is the right decision for me.

Now to wait for my official departure date to be determined. I should receive my official letter in early May. Only then will I be able to start contacting human resources, the pay centre, and the pension centre and start getting my arrangements made.

This is not the end of the story.

The month in writing

I started off the month by revising and submitting my flash fiction – yay, me! And then starting in on the story for the contest I registered for last month. It was longer (minimum 3,500 words) and based on a visual prompt. Of course, I took it in my own direction.

A writer friend also registered for the contest suggested we get together on the Friday before the contest deadline and workshop our pieces. Unfortunately, a snowstorm prevented us from meeting up, but we did exchange stories by email, and both submitted (excellent stories, in my opinion) to the contest on time.

Two stories out in the world! I’ll let you know how they do.

Two of my reviews were published in The Maple Tree Literary Supplement back in January. Better late than never?

On the 5^th, I received an invitation to participate in a podcast to promote SuperCanucks. The recording will be on Victoria Day Monday, and the episode will focus on superhero pets. When I have more deets, I’ll share them.

Then I was invited to join Neuroverses: An Autism Month/Poetry Month Showcase (link to the EventBright event page) on April 18^th organized by Murgatroyd Monaghan. Should be fun!

Matthew del Papa and Andy Taylor, the editors of SuperCanucks, were interviewed by Markus Schwabe on CBC’s Morning North on the 18^th.

And on the 20^th another article appeared in the Sudbury Star online.

On the 21^st, SuperCanucks launched! It was a super afternoon at the Greater Sudbury Public Library’s main branch with a gift basket raffle and swag and superhero-themed cookies from the Homemade Baking Company!

Here are some of the pictures:

I signed up for an interview for a show on the local university radio station, CKLU. Recording next month. I’ll let you know how it goes.

I also put myself forward as a panellist for Can-Con in October.

In writerly business, Wordstock held a visioning session on the 22^nd. It was mostly introductions and brainstorming. The results were collected and the board will review for suitability and viability.

The Canada Council for the Arts had their Annual Public Meeting on the 25^th.

And the SF Canada board met on the 29th. We discussed getting the organization back out in the world.

Filling the well

The full suckerfish moon and blood moon eclipse (which I did not get up early enough to see) in Virgo was on the 3^rd. I watched the eclipse afterward on the time and date YouTube channel, which had some interesting special guests, including NASA’s Noah Petro, who discussed the Artemis mission.

We lost an hour on the 8^th with the start of daylight saving time (DST). I keep hoping for a miracle. BC is going permanent DST. Saskatchewan has always been permanent standard time. I signed a parliamentary petition to stop the DST time shift in Ontario. Even the orange maniac wants to do away with the time change. When will it end?

In honour, I’ll trot out my favourite DST meme.

A Princess Bride Daylight Saving Time meme.

The new ash moon in Pisces was on the 18^th.

According to Alina Brown:

“Pisces is the sign of endings, surrender, intuition, grief, imagination, faith, and emotional processing. New Moons usually bring beginnings. But in Pisces, especially this late in the sign, the beginning often comes through closure.

So, this is less about forcing a new chapter open and more about recognizing what is naturally ending so something new can begin.”

Can I tell you how many signs and portents I been getting lately along these lines? The universe is definitely sending me a message.

And spring arrived on the 20^th. I tell you, it did not feel much like spring.

In writerly events, I signed up for Outside the Box: Choosing to Follow the Writerly Path with Kim Fahner presented by the Saskatchewan Writers’ Guild on the 5^th. It was a lovely presentation.

Also on the 5^th was the Canadian Authors Association and SF Canada webinar series Make Your Character’s Life Difficult with Gail Anderson-Dargatz. Fortunately, I had the option of watching the recording.

On the 14^th, I stopped by Perk & Pine to nab a signed copy of Liisa Kovala/A.L. Jensen’s Hygge & Homicide. I chatted with her mother who knew several members of my family. It was a lovely event at a great new-to-me café, and they have the best coffee and treats!

Torvi had her annual checkup at the Laurentian Trails Veterinary Clinic (yay!) on the 12^th. It was great to see Dr. Andrews again and the new clinic is great Torvi got a clean bill of health, her annual vaccines, flea and tic medication for the year, and some probiotic powder in case she engages in “dietary indiscretion” again. I forgot to bring her fecal sample in, so Phil delivered it the next day. When he walked in, he said, “I am here to give you shit! And here it is.” Everyone laughed. That’s my guy.

I had a lovely week off work from the 16^th to the 20^th. Snowmageddon (see Life in general) enforced slowness and containment.

On the 23^rd, I had my now tri-annual dentist appointment.

On the 28^th, I took Torvi for her next de-tufting at Petsmart. Most of her undercoat is gone, but we’re still dealing with fluff-o-rama.

My next therapy appointment was on the 30^th. I decompressed from my eventful month, and we conquered two (the last?) value domains. I’m looking forward to whatever we tackle next.

What I’m watching and reading

My first watch of March was to finish the first season of A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms (HBO). I loved this (initially) lighter take on the GoT universe. Dunk is a genuinely good man despite the mistakes he makes. He just tries so hard! And it gets him into trouble more often than not. I loved the relationship between Dunk and Egg/Aeg. And I won’t say any more about it because it is so worth watching.

Next, I watched Fullmetal Alchemist: The Final Alchemy (Netflix). Phil and I had watched the first of these live action versions of one of our favourite anime back in 2020 (Fulllmetal Alchemist, 2017) and the second in 2022 (Fullmetal Alchemist: The Revenge of Scar), when it and the third instalment both came out. Somehow, we forgot that the last one was to be released later in 2022 … until now. Phil confessed he’d “cheated” on me by watching the movie on his own, which prompted me to check it out.

These FMA movies follow the same plot (almost exactly) as the Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood anime series, which reframes the events of previous FMA series. Yes, there have been iterations. I won’t get into the plot, but I will say that the live action adaptation was well done and just as heart wrenching as the anime.

Then, I finished watching Star Trek: Starfleet Academy (CTV Scifi). I loved it! Holly Hunter is amazing! I wasn’t so sure about some of the young characters and there was a lot of young adult angst and hormones flying about, but I think they stuck the landing. One of the best ST series yet!

For more on this, see Charlie Jane Anders’ Buttondown newsletter: Why is it so hard to make Star Stek YA? (And consider subscribing while you’re there!)

Next, I wanted to watch Zootopia 2 (Disney +), but as I hadn’t watched Zootopia yet, I queued it up first.

Zootopia is adorable and surprisingly moving. In a world where anthropomorphic animals live in harmony (more or less) in climate-controlled habitats, young rabbit Judy Hopper’s sense of justice drives her ambition to be the first rabbit to become a police officer, despite her parents’ desire for her to settle into a life of carrot farming. The opening montage establishes Judy’s struggle and eventual triumph in police academy, but on her first day, Chief Bogo assigns her to parking duty. In typical fashion, Judy excels, making twice the citations Bogo assigned her before noon. She is also conned by fox Nick Wilde and foils a robbery, saving the life of a shrew woman in the process (it’s important, trust me). Once back at the station, though, Bogo refuses to recognize Judy’s excellence and, when he similarly dismisses the plea of an otter to find her missing husband, Judy impulsively offers to find the missing otter. Incensed that Judy has undermined his authority, he gives her 48 hours to solve the crime. If she fails, she’s fired. So of course she teams up with the con artist fox …

In Zootopia 2, Judy and (mild spoiler) her new partner Nick are having trouble working together. At a charity gala, which they sneak into against Chief Bogo’s orders, they attempt to stop the theft of the Lynxley family journal that documents the creation of the weather walls that regulate Zootopia’s climate zones, until the thief, Gary De’Snake protests that the journal contains evidence to prove his family’s innocence. When Milton Lynxley orders the journal burned and Gary killed, Judy refuses, and Gary escapes with the journal on a motorcycle driven by a hooded figure. In a fit of rage, Milton orders the current mayor, a former action movie star and horse named Brian Winddancer, to kill Gary, Judy, and Nick and retrieve the journal. Now fugitives, Judy and Nick must track down Gary and prove both their innocence and that of Gary and his pit viper family. They team up with conspiracy theorist and reptile expert beaver, Nibbles Maplestick. As they visit Marsh Market and follow the clues that lead them to Gary, they uncover a conspiracy—yes, there is an actual conspiracy afoot—that could change Zootopia forever. Both movies were awesome fun.

So of course, after these two lighthearted watches, I shifted to Bugonia (Prime). I had enjoyed Yorgos Lanthimos’s Frankenstein meets Pygmalion mash up Poor Things and was fascinated by the feminist exploration of the “monstrosity” of women it presented. Bugonia was nothing like that movie. Teddy Gatz is presented as a radicalized conspiracy theorist who manipulates and abuses his autistic cousin Don. Though it’s revealed that he was abused by his babysitter as a child and that his mother is now comatose after an experimental therapy provided by Auxiloth, and though he’s a caring beekeeper and coworker, any sympathy that backstory earns is completely undone when the Auxiloth CEO Michelle Fuller, who he has kidnapped and accused of being an alien, finds his “laboratory” of preserved body parts and his photo album documenting his many abducted and murdered “suspected aliens.” For her part, Michelle is as cruel and manipulative as Teddy and then some. She treats her employees as slaves and her attempted gaslighting of Don results in his suicide. She then tells the further traumatized Teddy (who apparently really cared for Don) that his mother’s cure is disguised at the antifreeze in her car. After Teddy flees the scene of his mother’s murder-by-antifreeze, Michelle then manipulates him into blowing himself up in a closet (WTF?!). It doesn’t take much. He’s clearly deranged by this time. And then she returns to the mothership where the decision is made to terminate humanity.

It’s an utterly depressing movie. I mean I get the argument that humanity doesn’t deserve the world we have, but, honestly, it’s the 1% and the big corporations and corrupt politicians with their reliance on oil and the colonialism and patriarchy and capitalism that’s messed up the world. There are billions of other humans living on this planet that are doing the best they can in the fucked-up systems we’re subjected to. Does everyone deserve to die because of that? Are we all so irrevocably corrupted that there’s no hope?

Phil and I finished watching season 2 of the live-action One Piece (Netflix), and we loved it! Luffy and the Straw Hats make it through the Red Line, which is a mountain with currents that flow up and then down, appease a whale who is self-harming because he misses his friends (I felt so sad for that poor whale) and start to navigate the Grand Line, where traditional compasses don’t work (!). The whole time they’re fighting off Baroque Works assassins and the Marines. It’s great fun and they do a great job maintaining the surreal feel of the anime.

Then, I finished watching the fourth season of Bridgerton (Netflix). This season focuses on ne’er-do-well second son Benedict, who to this point has been happily living a life of debauchery … until the night of his mother’s masquerade ball, when a mysterious young woman catches his eye. Francesca has a season of upheavals, Violet finds love and heartbreak, Eloise still wants nothing to do with the “marriage mart” and is relegated to minding Hyacinth as she goes through her etiquette lessons in preparation for her coming out, Penelope, now outed as Lady Whistledown, attempts to pursue novel writing, but Queen Charlotte won’t be deprived of her gossip, and Lady Danbury wants to retire from public life. The main story is the Bridgerton take on Cinderella, but it’s done very well. I think this has been one of the better seasons of the series.

Finally, I watched Mercy (Prime). Interesting premise, fun action, but an asshole for a protagonist who didn’t earn his happy-ish ending. I could watch Rebecca Ferguson read an old timey phone book but her performance as an AI judge was about as riveting. Chris Raven is a cop, instrumental in instituting the Mercy AI court system to prevent criminals going free due to human error. Later, he finds himself in the Mercy court, accused of his wife’s murder. In the first half of the film, he only manages to convince Mercy that he’s guilty. He’s an alcoholic who’s checked out of his marriage, his daughter is praying for divorce because even she can see that he’s a lose cannon, and he has no evidence to prove that he didn’t, in fact, kill his wife. There are several unsurprising “twists” and Mercy “glitches,” implying that it’s developing emotions. It’s a mess of a movie.

My first read of March was Liisa Kovala’s Hyyge and Homicide, the first in her self-published Hyyge House Murder series. This cozy mystery (i.e., a mystery involving a crime-solver who is not a law enforcement officer of some description) is set in the fictional town of Lakewood, intended by the author to be a stand-in for anytown, Northern Ontario. Minna Halonen has left her interior design career in Toronto and returned to her hometown. For now, she’s working in her mother Elsi’s store, Nordic Cozy and reacquainting herself with Lakewood. Almost immediately, she is beset by her best friend and event planner Christie, who suggests they buy an old mansion and set it up as a venue for events. Minna hesitantly agrees and when her daughter Sophie, unable to find work in Toronto, post-graduation, also returns home while she gets her bearings, the deal is struck. Minna, Elsi, and Sophie will move into the mansion, Minna will supervise the renovation and interior décor, Sophie will handle their social media and advertising, and Christie will organize events.

Everything seems to be going swimmingly, especially with James, the handsome contractor renovating the mansion, until the Hyyge House grand opening, when Minna finds a body in the breakfast nook. With her new business foundering before it’s gotten off the ground, and everyone involved in the grand opening suddenly a suspect, Minna decides to solve the mystery before it claims anyone or anything else she loves. Also, Hugo Dogberg is adorable. A fun start to a new series.

Then, I listened to The Savior’s Champion by Jenna Moreci. Tobias was apprenticed to one of the best artists in the land until his father was killed and his sister seriously injured in an accident. Now he works as a labourer to make ends meet, but it’s not enough to get his sister the medical treatment she needs and her pain is only getting worse. When his best friend decides to enter the Sovereign’s Tournament and compete to become the Savior’s Champion, Tobias initially scoffs. Until he learns of the money given to the families of the competitors. Though he has no interest in the Savior, he’s desperate to get his sister the treatment she needs. And so, he enters the tournament.

Next, I listened to The Space Within, season 1, an Audible Original first presented as a podcast. Trauma specialist Madelaine Wyle is asked to treat a child who disappeared and can’t remember what happened to her. As she slowly gains Sophie’s trust and begins to unblock her traumatic memories, Maddie learns that there are other people who have disappeared and returned changed. But Maddie also has problems of her own. The daughter she voluntarily surrendered to her ex when he moved to another state for a new job is acting out and wants to live with Maddie. And Maddie has a childhood experience that resonates with those of her patients. When DNA scans reveal that all her patients share the same nucleotide sequences over multiple chromosomes despite not being related, she has to consider the impossible and put her own career at risk in her search for the truth.

Then, I read Margot Lapierre’s Ajar. This poetry collection is an intimate and vulnerable poetic memoir of what it’s like to experience the haunting fracturing of self that often results from mental illness. Content warning: This collection discusses suicidal ideation and attempted suicide.

I enjoyed The Space Within, season 1 so much that I immediately queued up season 2, this time presented as an Audible Original audiobook. I can’t really tell you much about it without spoiling the whole thing, so I’ll let you listen and judge for yourself.

I will say that the ending felt rushed, like the series was cancelled while they were in the middle of recording season 2, and they had to wrap things up fast. There were a lot of unanswered questions, but they tied off as many story threads as they could.

Then, I listened to There is No Antimimetics Division by QNTM (pen name of Sam Hughes). This novel is based on the web series originally published to the SCP (Secure, Contain, Protect) Wiki. Marie Quinn is the Director of the Antimimentics Division of the Unknown Organization (UO). Antimemes, or unknowns are extradimensional entities that feed on memories, effectively making them invisible as they consume the memories of themselves. Think of that whatever-it-is you think you see out of the corner of your eye. That could be an unknown. It’s the job of Quinn’s division to protect humanity from the more damaging unknowns but to do this, they have to a) take a daily regimen of mnestics, to help them notice and retain awareness of unknowns and which cause physical and mental damage with prolonged use, and b) make themselves forget the plans to defeat the more devastating unknowns lest those memories get consumed and their plans exposed. Many of the “smaller” unknowns can be contained or even tamed. Quinn has one of these, called Sunshine, with her at all times and she scrupulously consumes a varied media diet so that Sunshine can eat those memories and leave everything else intact.

But Quinn becomes aware of a decades-long war with apex antimimetic entity U-3125, which destroys upon conception and spreads through shared knowledge. To protect those she loves, Marie erases the knowledge of her husband Adam and other personal connections from her memory (courtesy of Sunshine). She then discovers evidence of an “irreality amplifier” that UO researcher Ed Hix has been working on in secret and which could generate a countermeme capable of destroying U-3125, but when she arrives at the research facility, U-3125 already consuming her colleagues, all she finds is a “memory bomb.” I kind of had to get into this level of detail so you’d have an idea of what the novel is about, but I’ll stop there, because it’s fascinating and thought-provoking and just pain awesome. The novel is also non-linear and includes redacted text and missing letters to reflect the missing memories of the characters in the story. The unknowns are basically new eldritch terrors.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: February 2026 update

March 1, 2026 / Melanie Marttila

Thawing out and waking up

Life in general

I started February off with a week of leave, ‘cause I always take the week of Imbolc off. Winter is tough with perma-grey skies and sub-zero temperatures and I’m like that meme asking, “Why do I live in a place where the air hurts my face?” Look it up. Have a chuckle.

This week off in early February is the first of two resets to my system. In February, the light feels like it’s just starting to come back, though it’s been rebounding since the winter solstice. It’s a seasonal need to bring myself out of seasonal affective disorder (SAD) territory.

But I needed it more this year because January was hell in multiple ways and I’m trying to sit in the uncertainty of workforce adjustment (WFA) and not panic and calmly gather the information I need to make a decision. That the decision doesn’t need to be made until March 26^th doesn’t really help. It just prolongs the agony.

Part of me wants the time between now and March 26^th to collapse, so I can submit my form and find out what happens next. My efforts to get the answers I feel I need to make an informed decision have been met with a wall of “we don’t know.” The closest I’ve been able to learn about how long I will continue to work after making my decision is that management commits to working closely with human resources, the pay centre, and the pension centre to ensure that every employee has “enough” time to make all the necessary arrangements prior to departure. Whatever “enough” means …

Listing some smol victories to help me feel more person-like in this weird and dysregulating moment:

I managed to avoid a full case of sinusitis over the fall/winter of 2025!
My eczema finally responded to the ointment. Only three months before the last bits of leathery, discoloured skin came away from the knuckle.
Coming up on a year after its expiry, I finally got new passport pictures taken so I can submit my passport renewal form (!) Thanks to my friends who agreed to serve as references. Also, mailing the application (thanks to Phil for taking it to the post office for me). I have no imminent travel planned and don’t want to brave the less-than-safe downtown to submit in person.
I got a new set of Bluetooth earbuds (Flare Studio Pro), and I figured out how to unpair my old ones (which I’m keeping as a backup set) and paired the new ones. Feeling competent!
I got appointments made (see Filling the well for deets)! Appointments were met! Things got done!
I’ve been slowly walking back my bedtime to a reasonable hour!
I’ve been listening to my body/mind and adjusting accordingly!

Signs of recovery, in my humble opinion.

The hits kept coming, though. On the 10^th, a mass shooting incident second only to École Polytechnique occurred in the small community of Tumbler Ridge, BC. The news made waves across Canada and beyond.

Misinformation ran rampant in the following days, right wingnuts glomming onto the fact that the shooter was a trans woman. It was a time for community healing and support, not to spread malicious hate speech on social media.

I’ve been sticking to the coverage of The Walrus, The Tyee, and Rachel Gilmour and avoid inflammatory rhetoric online.

At work, I was assigned a new project, but a week later, the client informed us that internal reorganization meant the project would be shelved. Though I hadn’t done a lot of work, it felt like the work I’d done was wasted. Surprisingly, I was not further dysregulated by this change of priorities. I didn’t really care, which may have something to do with other things happening at work that really put the day-to-day into perspective.

Then I was assigned the task of reviewing a draft e-learning course. It took me two days to get an updated link to the course and just as I was running through the course for the first time, I was asked to observe the pilot delivery of another course in development from 10 to 2 Monday and Tuesday the following week.

So, I cleared the decks of other obligations.

But the 4-hour-a-day for 2 days course turned into 5-hours-a-day for 3 days. I hadn’t planned for that and couldn’t pivot further. I’d forgotten how demanding training was and I was already considering a day off …

When, on the 27^th, we had another meeting about the WFA process. There were now tentative timeframes, nothing confirmed, and everything subject to change. The TL;DR of it is, those opting into voluntary departure are to leave as soon as possible, and I now had an idea of the worst case scenario, which will be financially destabilizing, especially considering we’ve already been told transition payments and separation monies may not be issued in a timely manner, depending on how many people are leaving at any given time.

There is a possibility that some of us might be kept on longer, which would be better for me, but it’s dependent on business cases and the approval of our ADM, which again, we have no guarantee of.

So, more information, sure, but a lot more uncertainty, too.

I took that afternoon and the next day off to process, regulate, and try to find away forward. Phil’s still being reassuring, but I am not reassured.

The month in writing

I started the month still in the no-write zone.

But by the end of the second week, I started writing a new flash piece for an upcoming submission call. The deadlines I was working toward with the other two pieces of short fiction flew by, and so I no longer felt the urgency to revise them. I’ll get back to them, though.

I also registered for The Karen Gansel Short Fiction Contest through the Canadian Authors Association. This was a bit of a risk, as the contest involved writing to a prompt issued March 1^st and the contest deadline would be March 14^th. Check back next month to see how this experiment went.

I also got back to writing some poetry.

Baby steps.

On the 20^th, the Sudbury launch of SuperCanucks was announced. It will be on Saturday, March 21, 2026, at the main branch of the Greater Sudbury Public Library (74 Mackenzie St.) from 1 to 3 pm!

Promotional card for the SuperCanucks launch.

On the 23^rd, my review of Shani Mootoo’s Starry Starry Night was published in the Seaboard Review of Books!

The cover of Shani Mootoo's Starry Starry Night.

And the month ended back in the no-write zone, as it started, because WFA shenanigans.

Filling the well

The full bear moon in Leo was on Imbolc/February 1^st. The generally overcast sky meant no moon pics or sightings, but I lit my altar as I tried to come to terms with the changes entering my life.

The new rowan moon in Aquarius was on the 17^th. This was also the start of the Chinese New Year and year of the fire horse. As an earth rooster, I’m going to embrace the energy and change of the year of the horse to try to develop resilience and find balance.

I attended the online launch of Fairylore, by Brittany Warman and Sara Cleto (of the Carterhaugh School) on the 10^th. It was fabulous and Terri Windling, who is herself fabulous, sent a pre-recorded message of support. I wouldn’t receive the book, which I pre-ordered, until the 19^th. Grrrrr …

On the 11^th, Jessica Strawser presented “What Do Your Characters Want?” through Jane Friedman. I watched the replay, because work. Not a lot of new information here, but good reinforcement, nonetheless.

Also on the 11^th, I signed up for SFF book recommendations with Elizabth Bear and the Ashland Publish Library. Some of the books, I’ve already read, many I hadn’t, though, and now I have even more fodder for the TBR monster!

Back in October, I had signed up for the League of Canadian Poets Fall Poetry Intensive. Unfortunately, It fell on the same weekend as the Writing on the Rocks retreat and though I could have tried to attend, I decided not to. Recordings were promised. I finally received the recordings on February 17^th (!) and am slowly working my way through them.

Finally, on the 25^th, I signed up for a free workshop, “Fix Your Novel – The Top 5 Problems and How to Fix Them,” presented by Emily and Rachel of Golden May. I found this through my subscription to Kristen Keiffer’s newsletter. She’s a neurodivergent writer and book coach and it turns out that Rachel is ND too. Again, nothing revelatory, but a good webinar nonetheless.

And that’s it for writerly events.

I had my annual doctor’s checkup by phone on the 4^th. Five minutes later, I had my annual referrals for insurance and a requisition for bloodwork.

Also on the 4^th, I attended a union information session on the WFA process. No new information, really, but every iteration cements a few more things in my brain.

On the 7^th, I took my mom to the hairdresser and she managed the steps! Potential good news: our hairdresser may be moving to a more accessible house later in the year.

On the 13^th, I had bloodwork done as requested by my doctor.

The 14^th was Torvi’s slightly overdue touch up service at Petsmart. My girl was in her mid-winter coat blow, and I’d been plucking handfuls of hair off her daily for weeks, but she was still a shaggydog. Like SHAGGYDOG! The groomer took Torvi into the back room and used the handheld blow dryer to get the worst of the loose hair off and finished with a brushing on the table. I wish I’d had the foresight to take before and after pictures. The transformation was startling!

My dog Torvi, all curled up on her bed in the living room. — But here’s one of a tuft-free Torvi curled up on her bed after walkies.

On the 19^th, I had my next therapy appointment. I had considered booking an extra, emergency session when I was informed of the WFA, but I didn’t feel the legitimate need for emotional support. I got that from Phil, Mom, my coworkers, and my friends. What I needed was more information.

The appointment was incredibly affirming, though, and we even got another values domain conquered. Only two more to go.

Finally, my support group met on the 25^th to discuss burnout and energy management. Good session.

Finally, I brought wine and take out to a friend’s and kept her up way too late chatting about all the things.

What I’m watching and reading

Phil and I watched Wonder Man (Disney +). This superpowered bromance between Simon Williams and Trevor Slattery was a fun critique of Hollywood. Simon is comic-accurate in his unlikability, but the show roots that in a deep insecurity and love for the craft of acting. After being cut from American Horror Story for being too “high maintenance,” Simon meets Trevor at a movie and the two bond. Trevor casually drops that he’s auditioning for the Von Kovak remake of Wonder Man, a movie Simon loved as a child. Simon wrangles himself an audition at the last minute. This is the role he was born to play.

Secretly, Trevor has made a deal with Agent Cleary of the Department of Damage Control (DoDC) to obtain evidence of Simon’s dangerous superpowers so he can stay out of prison. The DoDC has prisons to fill and a government to appease and agents are being fired if they fail to “produce.” And Simon, who does have dangerous powers, is desperate to keep them hidden because for the “Doorman Clause,” the explanation of which only enhances the series’ charm. Of course, things do not go as planned (!) One of the best Marvel series to come out since Loki.

Then, we watched the second season of Fallout (Prime). Coop’s backstory continues to trickle through the episodes as he and Lucy make their way to Vegas. Coop just wants to find his family, while Lucy is more interested in bringing her dad, Hank, to justice. When they get there their goals clash and Coop does Lucy dirty. Max tries to reform the Brotherhood of Steel from within, but when that fails, goes on the run with his old squire Thaddeus, now a ghoul, in search of Lucy. And Lucy’s brother Norm, trapped in Vault 31, revives the cryogenically frozen Vault-Tec executives and pretends to be their manager. Tensions between Vaults 32 and 33 rise over a water shortage. Next season promises a battle royale as the Brotherhood, the New California Republic Army, and the Legion converge on Vegas. Stephanie (Hank’s secret wife?!) launches Phase 2, whatever that is. Hank erases his memory, Lucy and Max reunite, and Coop is on his way to Colorado. A wild ride in a fun universe.

Next, I watched The Muppet Show (ABC). This 50^th anniversary special is the latest revival of the original sketch comedy and appears to be a one-off, or maybe a proof-of-concept for a true return of the show. Regardless, this was a true return to form and the show was fabulous. I hope they do bring it back. Everyone needs more Muppets in their lives (from a diehard Muppet maniac)!

Interestingly, Wil Wheaton said pretty much the same thing (about needing more Muppets in our lives) on Threads! I’m in amazing company, there!

Then, I watched Predator: Badlands (Disney +). Back in the wayback, I’d watched the first couple of Predator movies but became disenchanted when the Predator vs. Alien movies started. I’d wanted to check this out after hearing good things about it from various people I follow online. They were right! It was awesome!

Dek is a younger son of his clan leader, Njohrr, who considers him a runt. Njohrr orders Dek’s brother, Kwei to kill him, but Kwei refuses, and fights Njohrr, shoving Dek into his ship, and triggering the ship to take Dek to Genna, where he can prove himself by hunting the Kalisk, which even Njohrr fears. Trapped in the ship, Dek watches helplessly while Njohrr defeats and then executes Kwei before the rapid departure of the ship incapacitates him.

Dek is rudely awakened when the ship crash lands on Genna and he rapidly loses all his gear as the flora and fauna of Genna trounce him repeatedly and thoroughly. During one battle, Thea, a Weyland-Yutani synth offers to help Dek and proves herself by saving him. Then, they befriend a mischievous young alien they call Bud.

That’s all I’ll say, though I’m sure most of you have caught this one by now. A story about found family, and healing from toxic family dynamics. I’m encourage to check out Prey, which has been similarly praised. Look forward to that in the future.

A note moving forward: I will specify whether the book I finish is a listen (audiobook) or a read (e-book or print book) from here out.

My first listen of February was Tananarive Due’s The Reformatory. This work of historical horror is based on the true story of a relative of Due’s. Twelve-year-old Robert Stevens Jr. is sentenced to six months in the Gracetown School for Boys after kicking the son of a rich, white landowner who was harassing his sister, Gloria. Their mother died years before and their father was forced to flee because he tried to organize a union, leaving Gloria and Robbie in the care of elderly Miss Lottie. Robbie can see haints, a comfort after his mother’s death, and Gloria sometimes sees premotions of people’s futures. When Robbie is sent to the reformatory, the superintendent sees in Robbie’s gift a way to rid himself of the ghosts of the boys he’s killed in the past. Meanwhile, Gloria does everything she can to get her brother released before he suffers the fate of so many Black boys sent to the reformatory before him. Can Robbie survive or will he become another haint bound to the cruelty of the Gracetown School for Boys? Eerie and excellent.

After that, I took a break from audiobooks and caught up on some Audible podcasts, starting with “It’s Storytime with Wil Wheaton.” Some fabulous short fiction, including a number of Canadian authors, all read in Wheaton’s wonderful voice. Since this is an ongoing podcast, I’ll listen to new episodes between future audiobooks.

A note about Audible podcasts: I do not like the default play mode for podcasts. It recycles the same 5 episodes from the current year/season, and I must manually intervene to play episodes in the order they were released. A true pain. Later on in the month, I discovered that listening to the episodes does not necessarily mark them as finished. So, I marked the ones I’d already listened to as finished and listening seemed to progress more easily from there on, though I’d still have to stop the podcast, manually mark the episode I’d already heard as finished AGAIN, and proceed.

Then, I finished reading John Scalzi’s short story (novelette?) 3 Days, 9 Months, 27 Years, his contribution to the Time Travellers Passport collection. The title of the story refers to the resonance intervals at which it’s possible for time travel tourists to return from their journeys. Scalzi’s narrator is the technician operating the time machine, sending people back to significant moments in history, their own pasts, and pre-human eras. What makes this kind of time trave unique is that each trip to the past spawns an alternate reality that will never affect the originating timeline. Of course, there’s a twist, and it’s devastating. Highly recommend!

Next, I read The Autistic’s Guide to Self-Discovery by Sol Stein. While most of the information in this book was not new to me, the context, and Stein’s delivery (read snarky footnotes, of which I’m a fan) was helpful. Stein also offers a process to recognize and address rumination that I really appreciated.

Then, I finished reading Martha Wells’ “Home,” a short story in the Murderbot universe. Told from Mensah’s point of view, the story covers her attempts to resolve the bureaucratic and political fallout of the events of Exit Strategy, when she, Murderbot, and the rest of the team return to Preservation Alliance. One of the bureaucratic hurdles? Murderbot’s status as a sentient being. As good as the rest of the series, despite its brevity.

I also finished reading R.F. Kuang’s Making Space, her contribution to the Time Traveler’s Passport. Jess, once disinterested in having children and then traumatized by years of unsuccessful attempts to conceive with her husband, finds a boy, naked and wounded, in a nearby forest. When the social worker she contacts is overwhelmed and unable to place the boy while she searches for his family, Jess volunteers to foster him. He will not offer his name or any information about himself, and Jess’s husband facetiously calls him Buddy. When Buddy finally reveals his secret, Jess learns just how far she’s willing to go to protect herself and Buddy. A fraught tale about fertility, women’s autonomy, and the burden of choosing to bring a child into a world beset by political turmoil and climate disaster. And time travel, as the series title suggests.

Then, I read Premee Mohamed’s The Butcher of the Forest. When the Tyrant King’s children wander into the Elmever, he summons Veris Thorn, the only woman to have rescued a child from the forest and lived. Being a tyrant, the King commands Veris to retrieve his children — alive — and sends his warriors to guard her home and elderly relatives. If she does not return with the children, not only her family, but her entire village will be put to the flame. Thus begins Veris’s odyssey into the deadly and enchanted Elmever, where nothing is as it seems. But the denizens of the Elmever have long memories. They know Veris and what she has done. It will cost her dearly to escape the forest’s clutches a second time. Eerily fantastic.

The next Audible podcast I listened to was Stephen Fry’s Edwardian Secrets. I’d listened to Secrets of the Roaring 20s a few years ago and enjoyed it. I seem to be listening to them in reverse chronological order (!) Interesting insights into the less well-known aspects of the period from Edward himself, through the suffragette movement, to human sexuality, and more. Very good.

I progressed to Stephen Fry’s Victorian Secrets and learned about women detectives, murder, gay, trans, and lesbian love, spiritualism, and Sherlock Holmes and his creator Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: January 2026 update

February 1, 2026 / Melanie Marttila

A new year, zero resolutions, and striving for balance

Life in general

On the topic of resolutions, I’ve learned not to make them. Not that I could keep resolutions in a year like this. It’s more important for me to let my energy level and executive function, AKA my body and brain, guide my work. It’s just like goals. Failing to achieve a resolution is distressing and makes me feel like a horrible person (enter the self-inflicted rejection-sensitive dysphoria), and I don’t want to do that to myself anymore.

The year started with the usual wishes for a fabulous 2026.

The early days of 2026 were clear in the mornings, but cold. It’s a facet of life in a four-season climate. If it’s sunny in the winter, it’s fucken cold. When the temperature is closer to, but still below, freezing, it snows.

The slow return of the light buoyed my mood, and I think I got my daily dose of vitamin D for those few days.

But then, on the morning of the 3^rd, Trump attacked Caracas, forcibly extradited Maduro, and held him for trial. He then declared that the US would now “run” Venezuela in a violation of international law.

John Scalzi declined initial comment except to say that the US has done the same thing multiple times over the years. Yes, but in each of those past cases, the government attempted to justify their actions to the UN, NATO, and to the worldwide court of public opinion. Trump didn’t bother with any of that, having only the utmost contempt for all three of those institutions.

I won’t comment on this further, because politics is so not my thing, but I will offer a couple of perspectives from more engaged parties.

For the Canadian angle, Charlie Angus.

And for the American angle, Rebecca Solnit.

I was disappointed in Prime Minister Carney’s tacit approval of Trump’s shenanigans, though.

Here’s a more nuanced discussion of the issues from The Walrus.

Then, on the 7^th, Renee Nicole Good, a 37-year-old mother, poet, and community activist, was killed by an ICE agent in Minneapolis. Her death sparked protests across the US on the ongoing brutality waged by ICE agents and the Trump administration’s violent attack on communities. Since, many people have been sharing stories of her life and legacy, including her poem “On Learning to Dissect Fetal Pigs,” which won the 2020 Academy of American Poets Prize.

Even more protests followed, as well they should. I had hope that this would be the first crack in the Trump dam, with many more to follow.

Unfortunately, people are suffering in the meantime. Reports from protestors on the ground in Minneapolis are dire. They can’t keep up with the citizen reporting. They’re overwhelmed with the number of ICE agents, and more are on the way. I can only wish them strength to outlast the oppression.

At work, I started a project for the new intake team. It was a refreshing change, a short-term project with existing content that just had to be converted from an instructor-led format into e-learning. My new team lead is high energy, which my neurology absorbs as nervous energy. I have to make myself sit back and ask — is this a suggestion or an instruction? But I adapted.

Then, on the 21^st, the week of Blue Monday, the day after Prime Minister Carney’s rousing Davos speech (with which his recent actions and public statements have been seriously at odds with casting doubt on his future actions, see The Tyee for more on that), the day of Trump’s renewed threats against Canada, and Bell Let’s Talk Day, our department was advised that job cuts would begin. Meetings would be held the next day for those affected. I received a meeting notification shortly thereafter.

I seriously tried to remain calm.

Processing by doing seems to help me, so I attended the meeting, met with my manager, made an enquiry with the pension unit, made an enquiry with my HR advisor, made a pension estimate that may or may not be accurate, chatted with my sister-in-law, colleagues, and anyone else who reached out.

The 22^nd was exhausting. In the moment, I had to read everything multiple times because I could comprehend nothing. I talked to my manager, I talked to my sister-in-law, I talked to my former team leader, I talked to Phil, I talked to my mom, I talked to a friend, I journalled through it, I RUMINATED.

On the 23^rd, I had a meltdown. I realized I was holding my breath, or that I had stopped breathing (usually on the exhale) because I suddenly felt dizzy (!) Not breathing will do that. Sounds were muffled. My ears weren’t ringing, just not earing properly. I was holding so much tension in my body it was manifesting as physical pain. It took me until 2:30 am to feel right enough in my body to try sleeping, which I was thankfully able to do.

This is what a lifetime of masking taught me to do, hold EVERYTHING in. No amount of stimming or breathing exercises or physical activity or tea (I have a selection of adaptogenic teas I employ to combat stress) or anything else I tried brought me out of it. I just had to ride it out.

Symptoms returned in waves in the following days. It was all I could do to try to stay regulated.

And in the middle of my personal crisis Alex Pretti, a 37-year-old ICU nurse just trying to help another protester, was repeatedly pepper sprayed, beaten by multiple “federal officers,” and then shot multiple times. In Minneapolis. Again.

I’ll defer to Heather Cox Richardson, political historian, on this one:

Meanwhile, Maine was dealing with its own ICE invasion, sheltered from media coverage by the killings in Minnesota.

And as January’s final kick in the teeth, beloved Canadian comedian and actor, Catherine O’Hara died on the 30^th. This is such a loss.

The month in writing

I focused on finishing the short fiction revisions and submitting another review. As the month wore on and shit continued to hit the fan (see Life in general), writing anything beyond updating this post became impossible.

Toward the end of the month, I touched a short story again, but additional hits of dysregulation pulled me away. The anxiety came in waves and I was tumbled.

On the 5^th, my review of Incantations by N. Milanne was published in The Seaboard Review of Books.

On the 14^th, Heidi Ulrichsen published this lovely article on Sudbury.com about Super Canucks, edited by Andy Taylor and Mat Del Papa, coming out from Latitude 46 Publishing on March 21, 2026. My story, “Old Crow,” will be in this anthology (in case you didn’t know)!

In writerly business, the SF Canada board met on the 10^th to assign roles, schedule our meetings, and discuss what we wanted to do this year. I volunteered for the president’s role, and it looks like we have a lot of work ahead of us this year.

On a personal note, I’m glad it’s the last year I can serve on the board. I need a break from board work. It’s time to reevaluate and reallocate my time and energy to my own creative work.

Filling the well

New Year’s Day was quiet, focused on setting up my trackers and documents for the coming year.

Another discovery I’d made in doing that regarded my poetry. I’d written 16 new poems in 2025, and while I had submitted a few to contests and journals, I hadn’t been able to get further publications. Part of my strategy for 2026 will include sending out more of my poetry.

The full spirit moon in Cancer was on the 3^rd. I saw her, late at night while taking Torvi out for finals, with Jupiter alongside. I breathed her in.

The new birch moon in Capricorn was on the 18^th, and by then we were into the thick of Trump’s shenanigans and ICE assassinations, and the typically overcast sky made it hard to see much of anything.

Picture of mallard ducks in a winter creek. — No moon pictures this month, but LOOK at the DUCKS!

On the 8^th, I signed up for North West Passages, a winter online reading series from The Writers’ Union of Canada. It was hosted by Elizabeth Haynes and featured Anna Elgie, Penny Kome, Lise Mayne, and C.L. Polk (!). A lovely evening.

I signed up for The Stoplight Strategy for Revision with Natalie Paulson of Six of Wands on the 13^th. The event was posted on the Canadian Authors Association Circle platform. It was a technique I’d encountered before, but to have the principles behind it explained was interesting.

On the 14^th, I signed up for The Holy Trinity of Fiction: Character, Plot, and Stakes, with Tiffany Yates Martin through Jane Friedman. Fabulous, as always.

The Canadian Artists Network offered a webinar with the Canada Council about their new portal and funding options on the 19^th. Great information for when I’m ready to apply again.

On the 29^th, I signed up for “Enchanted England: Folklore, Literature, and Landscapes” with Dr. Sara Cleto & Dr. Brittany Warman, a Great Courses Tour promotion that was nonetheless entertaining and informative. If you have any interest in folklore, you should check out the Carterhaugh School. They have a great newsletter and a lot of free resources. It’s also an actual school, though, and there are paid courses.

My monthly therapy appointment was on the 15^th. I discussed a few recent issues, and we got through two more values domains, work and education.

My support group met on the 28^th. The topic for January was rejection-sensitive dysphoria and rumination, things I struggle with. I’m beginning to think that I’m outgrowing the support group, though. Most of the participants are significantly younger than I am and their interests do not coincide with my own. Now that I have a neurodivergent-affirming therapist, I’m wondering if I still need a support group, or if I can find something else to support me as an autistic diagnosed in middle age.

What I’m watching and reading

My first watch of 2026 was Down Cemetery Road (Apple TV +). This clever detective story starts with a dinner party held by Sarah Trafford and her husband Mark during which an explosion occurs. Sarah’s neighbour Maddie Singleton is killed in the explosion and Maddie’s daughter Dinah is taken to the hospital. When she is prevented from visiting Dinah at the hospital the next day and notices that Dinah is being erased from the media reporting of the incident, Sarah contacts a detective, Joe Silvermann. Joe digs into the situation and reports that Dinah is being moved in secret. Sarah rushes to the hospital but fails to intercept Dinah. When she returns to Joe, she finds him dead of an apparent suicide. Sarah teams up with Joe’s partner and spouse Zoë Boehm to find Dinah and solve Joe’s murder. Excellent!

Then, I finished watching Lisey’s Story (Apple TV +). This adaptation of Stephen King’s 2006 novel, also written by King, is about trauma, its relation to creativity, and the power of love to heal. It’s also about grief, legacy, and what can happen when stalkery fans take things too far.

Two years after her husband, beloved author Scott Landon, dies, his wife, Lisey is still mired in grief. A professor and fan contacts her to release Scott’s unpublished novels. When she refuses to release them, the professor contacts another fan, Jim Dooley, who agrees to “convince” Lisey to relinquish Scott’s unpublished works. Meanwhile, Lisey is also concerned about her sister, Amanda, whose mental deterioration and self-harm result in her institutionalization. Before his death, Scott sets Lisey a “bool hunt,” a kind of treasure hunt and, as she slowly sorts through his possessions, she finds the clues and follows them.

It’s a weird one, but King, in a bonus interview for Apple, said that it was one of his most personal and beloved stories. Imagination literally bestows the power to travel to another world. Enjoyable, but really creepy and extremely violent.

Next, continuing my Apple TV + trend, I finished Pluribus. Carol Sturka is a science fiction romance author on her latest book tour, when everyone around her, including her partner, Helen, begins to seize. While most people recover and gather around her, smiling and asking in eerie unison, “How can we help?” Helen dies in Carol’s arms, and she commandeers a truck to take her beloved home. What follows is a cosmic virus take on the Invasion of the Body Snatchers but if the aliens were an eternally happy extremely pacifist (can’t pick an apple off the tree but will eat windfalls) hivemind whose only imperative is to spread until literally all sentient beings are one. Since the hivemind is a virus, there are a few, like Carol, who are immune, but they’re working on a way to “fix” Carol and the other immune humans so they can join the hivemind … soon. Most of what I’ve shared is in the trailers, so I haven’t spoiled anything. This is a watch that makes you think and surprises you at every turn. The tag line is this: What if the grumpiest misanthrope on the planet tried to save the world from happiness? SO good!

Then I finished watching the National Geographic limited series, Witches: Truth Behind the Trials (Disney +). Interesting background on trials in Germany, Scotland, England, Sweden, America, and Ireland.

I watched The Holdovers (Netflix). This was a Friendly Space Ninja recommendation. At Barton, an all-boy boarding school in December 1970, unpopular and curmudgeonly teacher, Paul Hunham, is stuck with the responsibility of watching the students who must stay at the school over the holidays. Among the students is Angus Tully, who’s been kicked out of four schools already. His mother and stepfather have threatened military school. After a few days, one of the students convinces his father to take everyone on a ski trip — if their parents give permission. Only Angus’ parents fail to respond. Thus begins Angus and Paul’s journeys of self discovery, accompanied by Mary, the school’s cook, whose son, a Barton student, has recently been killed in the Vietnam war. A lovely movie about outsiders coming together to heal past wounds and the sacrifices they make for each other.

Then, I watched Rye Lane (Disney +), another Friendly Space Ninja recommendation. This sweet romantic comedy follows Dom and Yas through a rambling series of events in South London. Yas finds Dom weeping in the unisex loo and decides to cheer him up, showing up at his post-breakup reconciliation lunch with his ex and her new boo, Dom’s best friend. Yas pretends to be Dom’s new girlfriend and the two spin a meet-cute tale of a rave karaoke performance, which they later, inadvertently make a reality. Yas is coming off her own breakup, but lies to Dom, not wanting to seem as pathetic as he was. Mild spoilers, of course the two get together, but not before Dom catches Yas in her lie and the two go their separate ways.

My first listen of the year was the Saga Double Red Star Hustle, a short novel by Sam J. Miller and Apprehension, a novella by Mary Robinette Kowal. I remember seeing paired novels/novellas in the way back times (80s) displayed on metal carousels in my local convenience store. I think Tor published them. On one side was the first novel’s cover and, flipping it over, the second novel’s cover was on the back. Saga is now apparently trying the practice out to see if readers will be attracted.

Red Star Hustle is about a sex worker named Aran with a traumatic past and a set of addictions he can’t kick, who has a side hustle (as apparently all sex workers do) as an intelligence operative. He’s framed for the murder of a filmmaker client of his and goes on the run through the galaxy-spanning system of stable wormhole gates. Security agent and former mech battle star Imadi has been tasked with hunting Aran down, but she has secrets of her own that she can’t risk getting out. The story focuses on generational trauma, addiction and recovery, and queer messiness to the exclusion of the thriller cat and mouse plot. Like its two point-of-view characters, Red Star Hustle is a bit of a hot mess.

Apprehension, on the other hand, is classic Mary Robinette Kowal, featuring a septuagenarian protagonist, Bonnyjean, a grieving mother, neurosurgeon with a bad hip, and former special forces operative returning to Nahatanau, the world where she was a prisoner of war 40 years ago, with her recently-widowed son-in-law, Jax, a former popstar, and grandson Tristan, for a vacation. Things go sideways when Tristan is abducted, drawing Bonnyjean into an assassination plot, but all she wants to do is get Tristan back, if her hip doesn’t give out before she can. Excellent!

Then, I finished reading Artificial Condition, the second in the Murderbot Diaries series by Martha Wells. After leaving Dr. Mensa and the Preservation Alliance, Murderbot heads to the place where it thinks it might have earned its name. On the way, it’s forced to accept a ride of a research transport, which it calls ART — read the book if you want to find out why! Of course, in order to get to the site of the massacre, Murderbot must masquerade as a human security consultant and accept a job with another hapless group of humans. Things do not go as planned. Loved!

My next listen was The Wisdom of Wolves: Lessons from the Sawtooth Pack by Jim and Jamie Dutcher. Ah, my heart! The Dutchers lived alongside three generations of a wolf pack taking video and audio recordings of them for six years. This audiobook is the collected wisdom the wolves taught them. Adored!

I listened to Malka Older’s The Mimicking of Known Successes. This Sapphic Holmsian mystery set on Jupiter (or Giant as its inhabitants call it) where humans live on platforms set high in the atmosphere of the planet and connected by rings on which railcars run. The story follows Inspector Mossa as she solves the mystery of a man who seems to have fallen, been pushed, or … leapt off a remote platform and into the storms and crushing gravity of Giant. As the missing and presumed dead man worked in the classics department (dedicated to the study of life on Earth and how humanity might be able to return there) of Veldegeld University, Mossa comes into the orbit of her former roommate and lover Pleiti, also a classisist. Mossa is the Holmes of this mystery, ND-coded, intensely bright, often distracted, and focused on the mystery she must solve to the exclusion of — nearly — everything else. Pleiti is, of course, Mossa’s Watson, as clever in her field as Mossa is in hers. Fabulous world and worldbuilding. Fabulous characters, mystery, and romantic subplot. Just fabulous.

Next, I read Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. I nabbed the e-book on the recommendation of Charlie Rewilding, who embarked on a digital cleanse a few years ago. It’s a good book, even if it is a bit dated now, but I realized something in the reading. I am not addicted to social media. I’m already a digital minimalist in my own way. My phone is more of an e-reader and for listening to my audiobooks. It was validating. However, if you do find yourself spending hours on social media or doomscrolling without purpose, you might want to give this book a read.

Then, I finished reading Shani Mootoo’s Starry Starry Night. Six-year-old Anjula Ghoshal lives with Ma and Pa in Trinidad and does not understand why she must go live with strangers she must call Mummy and Daddy, with Tara and Anil, whom she is told are her brother and sister. Mootoo masters the stream of consciousness of Anju, who much prefers Andru, please, as we follow her through personal upheavals against the backdrop of Trinidad’s political evolution toward independence. Each section of the novel is named for the street on which each successive house Anju lives in through the six years covered by the novel. A compelling coming-of-age story of love and loss and disillusionment, which leaves the reader wondering, along with Anju, “If everything dies, why does it have to go through the whole of living to get to dying?” Excellent.

Next, I listened to Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. Yes, I’m trying to backfill my classics reading as I can with audiobooks as I find them in the Audible Plus library. I haven’t seen any of the adaptations of the novel either. I enjoyed the story, overall, though I was put off with the underlying (and sometimes overt — the girls “play” Pilgrim’s Progress) religious thrum throughout.

The four March girls are the eponymous “little women,” something their father, a chaplain in the Union Army during the Civil War, calls them in his letters home. The March family lives in “genteel poverty,” that is, they used to have modest wealth but have lost it all. Meg is the oldest and a completely traditional woman, interested in making a good match and being a good wife and mother like Marmee. Jo is a tomboy, author, and is hot-tempered. Beth is shy and gentle, plays the piano, must be home-schooled, and is of frail health. Amy is materialistic and too easily influenced by what others think is fashionable. The novel follows them through their youth with rich neighbour Theodore “Laurie” Laurence through to young adulthood in which three of the four girls find love, get married, and have children.

Then, I finished reading Cait Gordon’s Speculative Shorts: Stories that Fell Out of My Brain. This lovely suite of inclusive speculative short fiction explores queer life, disability, neurodivergence, romance, power, defiance, and resilience. A great collection. Highly recommend!

Next, I read Exit Strategy, the fourth book in the Murderbot Diaries series by Martha Wells. You may remember I read the third in the series last year (lol).

Just to remind you what happened in Rogue Protocol, Murderbot makes its way to Milu, hoping to gather more evidence against GrayCris and poses as a security consultant. When battle with a combat secunit reveals what Murderbot is (i.e., also secunit), it changes its cover to a secunit remotely supervised by a security consultant and helps the group recover their abducted colleague. Does Murderbot get the evidence against GrayCris it needs? Boy howdy, does it!

In Exist Strategy, Murderbot is drawn to a corporate hub where its owner/friend Dr. Mensah is being held against her will. Pin-Lee, Gurathin, and Ratthi have also arrived at the hub and are trying to raise the funds to pay Mensah’s ransom. Murderbot must extract Mensah from GrayCris and devise an exit strategy that gets them all off the hub safely. As always, things do not go as planned! Another entertaining read!

Then, I listened to The Film Makers, an Audible Original featuring Cameron Crowe (Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous), Natasha Lyonne (Russian Doll, Poker Face), Ron Howard (Apollo 13, A Beautiful Mind), Amy Heckerling (Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Clueless), Richard Linklater (School of Rock, the Before Trilogy), and Chloë Zhao (Nomadland, The Eternals). The revelation (for me) was Natasha Lyonne. Such a fascinating background and story! And I loved how Chloë Zhao considered her movies (Songs My Brothers Taught Me, The Rider, Nomadland, and The Eternals) in the frame of a classical quartet, that is three tragic stories followed by a parody. You really must listen to her explanation to get the picture. But of course, everyone was fabulous. Enlightening!

When I saw that Ken Cuperus had written a spinoff of the Mistletoe Murders series for Audible Originals, I had to listen! In Middlebridge Mysteries, Violet Wilner, Sam’s daughter and Emily Lane’s former favourite employee, is in her first year of her criminology degree at Middlebridge University, her mom’s alma mater. This is her dream, but a hard-partying roommate, an irritating classmate, a demanding professor, a charming football player, and a series of mysteries conspire to distract Violet from her classes, and there’s nothing that distracts her more than a good mystery! Can Violet juggle everything, find justice, and still pass her classes? A charming cozy. Can’t wait for the next instalment!

I finished the month by listening to Richard Wagamese’s One Drum. Though unfinished at the time of his death in 2017, the three Ojibway grandfather teachings he covers in this book really spoke to me in this eventful month of January 2026. If you haven’t read Wagamese, I’ll encourage you to pick this, or really any of his books, up. I have not failed to be moved by his work, whether fiction (Indian Horse, Starlight) or his non-fiction.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: December 2025 update and year-end review

January 4, 2026 / Melanie Marttila

Hi-ho, hi-ho …

Life in general

I returned to work on December 1^st, after a five-week leave. And discovered things were pretty much as I’d left them. Yes, the training for trainers had taken place and everyone was impressed with my reworking and additions to the Nation Learning Roadmap courses for facilitators. Yes, the pilot had taken place and was a little bit of chaos.

But now we had another slate of recommended changes to be made by the 19^th.

I got back to the grind.

Come the 19^th, there were still outstanding courses and modules left to be received from the content writers (or rewriters in this case) but I turned on my out of office notification and logged out of my work computer determined not to think about work for the next nine days.

On the 4^th, I received an email advising that I was eligible for the Early Retirement Initiative, which was part of the recently-passed budget. Immediately, I went into panic mode. WHAT DID THIS MEAN?! I called my team lead, who’d received the same email. We discussed. Then I did the smart thing and contacted my sister-in-law, who’d been looking into the situation for months.

TL;DR: Hold steady. This is just the first volley of the employer trying to get people to leave without availing themselves of the workforce adjustment provisions in our collective agreement.

I later learned that 60,000 emails had been sent in the hope of getting 40,000 employees to opt in. Another article released in Quebec, perpetuated the rumour that the return to 5 days in the office would start in 2026.

Still later, the news and the union started to report that job cuts would begin in the new year. Management indicated that they had no information to report, but they were committed to transparency.

On the 7^th, I slipped and fell while walking Torvi (a combination of unplowed sidewalk and a dancing dog) and sprained the middle finger on my right hand (fuck!). It was purple, swollen, and had limited mobility for the first few days. And boy, did I learn how much I use my right hand to grip, lift, and carry things. A friend suggested that maybe I’d broken it, but I could still move it and didn’t think so.

A picture of a sprained, or possibly broken finger.

Typing wasn’t an issue (thank goodness), but the accident really made me aware of my body, or at least my hand, in a way I hadn’t been for ages.

By the end of the first week, the bruising had worked its way through black to brown to yellow, though it was still painful and swollen. I finally checked Dr. Google, and it is possible that I’ve broken the finger. If I have, it’s a stable fracture (no deformation) and the only thing that might have been done was to splint the finger or buddy-bind it with another finger. Movement would probably still have been advised as a form of physiotherapy. I honestly didn’t think I needed to go to the clinic, though. I would have been waiting for hours in a room with a bunch of people with seasonal viruses I don’t need to catch.

I was still treating my seasonal sinus thing. Once the snow stayed, the allergic triggers shouldn’t have been an issue. At one point, I was feeling well enough to try going without the Ryaltris, but within a few hours, a headache set in, followed by chunks of bloody mucus in my blowings, so I resumed.

It soon became apparent that the bloody snot would continue, regardless. I chalked it up to the dry winter air, inside and out, and let my immune system deal with it as it would with neti-pot and supplemental (Emergen-C and Cold FX) support.

I also deduced that the continued use of the Ryaltris when I no longer needed it may have made my nasal tissues more sensitive. Whatever the cause, the bloody snots slowed down after a couple of days.

Also still dealing with the dregs of the eczema. Though it’s no longer itchy or swollen, eczema’s not really gone until the discoloured, leathery skin returns to normal.

I got the notification on the 9^th that I was not selected for the intake unit. There may be opportunities in the future, as I was advised that they may rotate people through the unit.

Which made the Power BI course I took from the 8^th to the 11^th less relevant/urgent. It’s still an asset, but I might have been able to use the 3 hours of class a day in a more productive manner. Productivity matters at work. A year and ten months until pre-retirement leave. Three years and ten months until retirement. Unless I’m surplussed, and then workforce adjustment provisions should compensate me appropriately.

Then, my team lead advised that, while we still had to fulfill our commitment to the current (albatross) project, we would be the design team attached to the intake unit and would handle any learning materials that did not already have a design team committed to the subject matter. This meant that we would be doing several different short-term projects in the new year.

I was looking forward but still dwelling in the uncertainty of potential lay offs. As a unilingual English employee within five years of retirement, I’ll probably be one of the first to go … after the term employees.

But I was grateful to have the week of Christmas off. After only 3 weeks of work, I needed another break.

The month in writing

After finishing the last cutting pass last month, I took a break from Reality Bomb and let the project simmer in the back of my mind. I’m already mulling over ideas for how to rewrite the first chapter and further tweak the draft.

In the meantime, I’ve turned my attention to working on a couple of short stories for future submissions as well as some poetry.

While I was at my latest appointment with my therapist, I articulated a decision I hadn’t even known I was contemplating. I’m going to put off the cleaning/reorganizing of my office until I have RB in the query pipeline. I’ll have the headspace/spoons to dedicate some time to it without having to worry about a creative project.

Yes, I’ll then have to get back to working on my next creative project, but I figure I can take a week or two to deal with my environment and dive back in refreshed and feeling like I’ve accomplished something. Until then, I’ll just do a few small things. There’s already more candle glass to clean up, more essential oil bottles to clean, plants to repot, a bulletin board and white board I haven’t been using to take down and store, that kind of thing.

On the 4^th, Frances Boyle’s lovely review of The Art of Floating was published in ARC Poetry Magazine online. I’m so grateful that my debut collection is still getting attention more than a year out from publication.

I took part in the open mic reading at the Latitude 46 stop in the Downtown Sudbury Art Crawl on the 6^th. Had a lovely afternoon chatting with writerly friends.

On the 12^th, the revised cover of Super Canucks was released. Apparently, there were problems with the original.

The SF Canada annual general meeting was on the 14^th. And it went swimmingly! We have a complete board, internal auditors, and a few ideas for the coming year!

The year in review

In 2024, I started out in the usual fashion, establishing which projects I would work on and word count goals to achieve, and entering everything into my Excel tracker, but something happened early in the year that made me change course. I realized that having these goals was stressing me out. Because of my uneven productivity, I wouldn’t always (or even often) meet these arbitrary goals and every time I missed one, I’d get distressed.

So, in 2025, I just put in the projects I hoped to work on, but no word count goals. Accordingly, my Excel has become a true tracker of my progress, and I can use the totals page at the end to show me what I accomplished rather than flog myself with all the goals I missed in the year.

It’s been a great boost for my mental health.

A screenshot of my writing and revision totals for 2025.

Here’s how the year broke down:

I wrote 58,075 words. 7,549 of them in creative non-fiction. Mostly these were my book reviews, but there was also a CNF flash piece that I wrote and submitted. The remaining 50,510 words were my newsletters/blog posts.

I revised -7,620 words, subtracting 7,301 words from Reality Bomb and the remaining 319 from a couple of short stories I was revising.

I reviewed my annual writing totals since I started using the tracking Excel. In general terms, from 2014 to 2020, I wrote between 150,000 and 300,000 words a year. In 2021, the year I suffered a crisis of creative confidence and obtained my autism diagnosis, my annual writing total was 68,000 words.

That was the first crack in my writerly façade, and the first year of my latest burnout. In 2022, I felt I had recovered, and my total went up to 100,000 words, but it’s clear that was unsustainable. Since then, I’ve written between 45,000 and 60,000 words a year, most of them on my blog/newsletters. But my focus has also shifted from drafting to revision, with regard to my novels and short fiction.

My word for 2026 is balance. I need to find the balance between creative production and rest and work. My autistic brain needs it.

In terms of reading (paper, e-book, and audiobook), I read 97 books this year! I’d actually set my goal low, at 60 books, raised it twice, and still read more than my goal.

A note about my reading habits. Because I work, I’ve structured my reading time around my lunch and breaks, and I usually have 6 books on the go at any given time. A paper book, a kindle e-book, a Kobo e-book, a pdf e-book (usually a review book these days), another book that could be a reread, and therefore paper, or research, and likely a library e-book loan, and an audiobook that I listen to while I walk Torvi and do random tasks.

This is why I appear to be a fast reader, but am, in fact a very slow reader. Sure, I go through audiobooks at a rapid pace, but reading a paper or e-book takes time. Sometimes a lot of time. This is low-key distressing, because in my youth, I used to read very rapidly. A book a day sometimes. I can’t do that anymore in middle age.

Also, I’ve tried to continue reading when I’m not working but find it’s difficult to fit reading in when I don’t have a designated break or lunch within which to read. I’ll have to figure out a system by the time I retire but, for now, it’s easier to read in short bursts while I’m working than when I’m off.

This year has not been a productive one. Because I’ve been struggling with burnout, I haven’t produced a lot. I only have one publication this year (aside from reviews) and that is a very short poem, “Pocket Dimension,” that was published in Polar Starlight 17 in February.

Still, I’m going to submit it for consideration for the Aurora Awards and to Year’s Best Canadian Fantasy and Science Fiction, Volume 4 for consideration. I had hoped that Super Canucks, and therefore my story “Old Crow,” would have been published in 2025, but due to various factors, it could not be added to Latitude 46’s 2025 release schedule.

With my publications over the past few years (at least one story and several poems) it’s felt weird to have a “fallow year.” But I recognize that I must be gentle with myself. If I push and try to produce while my brain is giving “hard no” vibes, it’s not going to do me or my creative work any favours.

Filling the well

The full freezing moon in Gemini was on the 4^th. Though it was a sunny day, it was dark by the time the moon rose.

A picture of the three quarter waning moon.

The new reed moon in Sagittarius was on the 19^th. It was raining and melty, which was a bit of a downer at this time of year.

And winter arrived on the 21^st with the solstice. After this, the light slowly began to return.

The final class of Unmasking through our writing with Muratroyd Monaghan was on the 4^th. It was a great course, and I would highly recommend it to any ND authors. She’ll be offering it again in 2026. Stay on the look out. The organizer is Off Topic Publishing.

I finished the Christmassing on the 11^th! I’ve been a little slower this year than in the last couple getting the tree and decorations up.

My next therapy appointment was on the 15^th. We chatted about my plans for the holidays and when I outlined my week ahead (three appointments during the week while working, hair appointment and Mom’s birthday dinner on the 20^th, and a cookie exchange on the 21^st), she asked me how I felt about that. In the moment, I’d said that I was trying to spread things out and that the appointments during the week were focused on self-care. Once my very busy week had passed, though, I realized that I hadn’t done myself any favours. I think she was trying to cue me to the fact that I was doing too much. In retrospect, I agree, but hindsight is always clearer, especially when you have trouble living in the moment.

I had another glorious massage on the 17^th.

Also on the 17^th was my support group meeting. The topic this month was family. Good preparation for the holiday season. This time around, I was the odd one out, having a small family and no real family conflicts at this time of the year.

Torvi got her regular touch-up on the 19^th.

On the 20^th, I took my mom out for a pre-holiday trim and then Phil and I took her out to her favourite restaurant to celebrate her birthday.

My sister-in-law hosted a cookie exchange on the 21^st. It started at 1 and Mom and I left at 3:30. It was a very social afternoon with mimosas to start, a buffet-style assortment of finger foods and appetizers, and, of course, cookies.

One thing I realized after the fact, as I was recovering from my “social hangover,” was that these kinds of events are not my cuppa. Too loud, too many people talking all at once. I’ll probably go again, but I may have more of a strategy around it. Prep for a few days before (and clear the decks of all other obligations, appointments, etc., if possible) and make sure I have time and space after to recover.

We celebrated Christmas on Boxing Day, to allow my sister-in-law and mom-in-law to attend their in-law celebrations on Christmas Day. It was a nice, family-focused evening, but stormy weather added to the stress of travelling (even a relatively short distance), and I found myself in recovery mode again, following.

Finally, friends from out of town visited on the 27^th. Unfortunately, because my brain was mush, I wasn’t a particularly good host, but I enjoyed the evening.

What I’m watching and reading

The first series I finished watching in December was the full run of Inu Yasha (Netflix). It’s taken years, y’all! I used to watch episodes on YTV … way back, and when I saw that the whole series was available, I started a rewatch. This is another comfort watch for me. The whole series is too involved to get into any detail. Suffice it to say that Kagome falls through the Well of Bones back in time to feudal-era Japan, where she teams up with a half-dog-demon (Inu Yasha), a fox demon pup (Shippo), a lecherous monk (Miroku), and a demon hunter (Sango) to collect the scattered shards of the Shikon jewel before the half-demon Naraku (with whom everyone has beef) can. There are lots of recurring secondary characters that are as interesting as the main cast. Very fun. All the nostalgic.

Then, I watched Wake Up, Dead Man (Netflix). Rian Johnson’s latest Benoit Blanc mystery is engaging, amusing, and all kinds of awesome. Father Jud, a former boxer from New York, is assigned to the rural parish of Our Lady of Perpetual Fortitude after he punches a deacon. Even the bishop agrees that the deacon was a jerk, but it’s probably a good idea for Jud to get out of the city for a while. Father Jud is immediately at odds with Monsignor Wicks, the parish priest who insists on the title of monsignor. Wicks has driven away almost all his parishioners with his condemning sermons. On Good Friday, Wicks retreats into a closet to “recover” from his homily, and Jud takes over the service only to hear a clatter from the closet. Opening the door, Jud finds Wicks face down and stabbed in the back. Jud is the prime suspect, for reasons (watch the movie, people!).

The ultimate locked room mystery causes the local police to call in the renowned Benoit Blanc, who is as over-the-top and overconfident as ever, to solve the murder. Great performances from a stellar cast, and a twist that will have viewers wondering whether Benoit Blanc has at last met his match. Loved!

After I finished the latest season of Only Murders in the Building last month, Disney + recommended the Only Murders in the Building Official Podcast. It was apparently intended to be viewed as the new episodes were released, but I found the behind-the scenes interviews with the cast, writers, and showrunner interesting and entertaining.

Next, I finished watching The Bad Guys series and seasonal specials (Netflix). I started with Haunted Heist, moved through the Breaking In series, and finished with A Very Bad Holiday. These are all prequels to the first movie and lead up to the Bad Guys becoming the less-Bad Guys – Lol! Mostly, the series focuses on the gang trying to make the list of the baddest of the bad. And failing. But they each have their own journeys preparing them for the first movie switch.

Then, on the recommendation of Friendly Space Ninja, I checked out Kill Boksoon (Netflix). This is a dubbed Korean movie that’s basically John Wick with a single mother as the protagonist and no dead puppies.

Gil Bok-soon is a professional assassin working for the MK company. She has this skill, much like Holmes in Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes movies, where she runs through the possible outcomes of her actions before she decides what to do. Bok-soon tries to be a good mother and protect her daughter, Jae-yeong, from the dark life she leads. She considers leaving the business, but when Jae-yeong stabs a fellow student in the neck (not fatally) and is under threat of expulsion, MK’s director convinces her to take on another contract, or show. In the middle of Bok-soon’s show, Jae-yeong calls her to confess why she stabbed her fellow student and Bok-soon decides not to complete the contract. Things devolve from there, forcing Bok-soon to kill her way free of MK’s current management. A little slower than John Wick, but the fight scenes are excellent, and the story is more compelling.

I watched the first season of The Mighty Nein (Prime). I tried to get Phil interested, but he wasn’t as keen on this Critical Role offering as he was on The Legend of Vox Machina. Most of the season was about the group coming together while the Trent Ikithon stole the Beacon from the Kryn Dynasty. The two storylines are brought together when the Gentleman hires the Mighty Nein to steal the Beacon from Trent. I enjoyed it quite a bit.

Because I’d enjoyed the first The Bad Guys movie, series, and seasonal specials, I decided to watch The Bad Guys 2 on Prime. Picking up after the events of the first movie, the Bad Guys are having a rough go trying to find work with criminal records. After serving their time, they’ve gone straight, but no one is willing to give them a chance. They try to prove themselves by bringing in the Phantom Bandit. Instead, the Phantom Bandit blackmails them into performing one last heist. She has footage that identifies Diane Foxington, now governor, as the Crimson Paw and will release it, ruining Diane’s career, unless the Bad Guys comply. All sorts of call backs and shout outs to various movies and series. It’s a lot of fun.

Then, I saw Hazbin Hotel Live on Broadway was out on Prime (!) and had to watch it. Like the OMitB podcast, it was intended to be viewed before the second season aired. Regardless, it was a beautiful fan-fest with cosplayers and musical performances of songs from the series. I may have to get the soundtrack.

I finished watching season 4 of The Witcher (Netflix). Liam Hemsworth makes a nearly seamless new Geralt (I feel I should not be surprised, but I was). Ciri has relinquished her powers and taken the name of Falka, joining The Rats, a gang of thieves. Thinking that Ciri is in Niflgard, Geralt, Jaskier, and Milva fight their way there. Yennefer gathers the remaining sorcerers and initiates in an attempt to defeat Vilgefortz. The end of the season sees Ciri in the hands of Bonhart, a witcher-killer, Geralt sworn to Queen Neve’s service, and Yennefer off to confront Vilgefortz alone.

Finally, on December 31^st, Phil and I watched the finale of Stranger Things (Netflix). The Duffer brothers managed to bring everything around to a satisfying close. Hawkins is occupied by the military and “rockin’” Robin and Steve take over the local radio station to keep the residents informed and secretly organize Hopper’s “crawls” in the upside down in search of Vecna while El trains to confront him. Then Holly Wheeler is abducted and Vecna’s plot is slowly uncovered. I won’t get into the rest of the season, because it is a worthwhile watch, if you’ve been following the series. Mind you, if you’re a fan, or just a completionist, you’ve probably already seen it.

Yes, there are a fair number of pivotal events that happen off screen. Yes, there are plot holes and unresolved plotlines. But it’s an entertaining and dynamic season of an entertaining and dynamic series with much nostalgia and 80s fan service. The ending is bittersweet, with the older gang members reminiscing and making plans to keep in touch, Hopper proposing to Joyce, and Mike’s post-D&D storytelling making hopeful, if fictional, sense of everything. It was also nice to see the next generation of gamers taking over the table.

My first listen of the month was another Great Courses/Audible original collaboration, Witchcraft in the Western Tradition by Jennifer McNabb. From the witch hunts of early 15^th century Europe through the “satanic panic” of the 80s to the current moment of neo-paganism, McNabb examines not only what happened, but the causes and the sometimes-surprising results of witch hunts through the ages.

Then, I listened to Mistletoe Murders 4 by Ken Cupris. Mild spoilers for MM3 if you haven’t listened yet. After finding the body of her former lover and fellow agent under her Christmas tree, Emily Lane is forced into hiding for 11 months with only a voicemail to Sam, the police officer she’s falling in love with. When she returns to Fletcher’s Grove, the entire town is undergoing a facelift, Sam has a new girlfriend, and Sam’s daughter Violet has left for college. Everything’s changed, except murder. This edition features three new mysteries for Emily to solve. Fun, cozy, and just the thing to put you in the mood for the holidays.

My next listen was Grimm’s Fairy Stories, translated by Margaret Hunt. These are all the traditional tales, Little Snow White, Thumbling and Tom Thumb, Brian Rose, Cinderella, Little Red Cap (with alternate ending), The Frog Prince (which is more bizarre than I remember), and more. 25 tales that will give you all the background on the Disney princesses you’ll ever want. Just kidding. A classic.

I also listened to The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett. Yes, another classic I hadn’t read! I loved this gentle fable about the power of nature to heal. When Mary is the only survivor of a cholera outbreak that sweeps her home in India, she is sent to live at her uncle’s house in Yorkshire. She arrives a thin, jaundiced girl with a sour disposition, having only ever been waited on hand and foot by Indian servants while her parents lived their lives as if she didn’t exist. Her uncle, Archibald Craven, is often away and his housekeeper meets Mary at the train. In her first days, she’s told the tragic tale of how her uncle’s wife fell out of a tree in her favourite garden and died, prompting her uncle to lock the garden and bury the key. She soon becomes obsessed with finding the secret garden. It’s absolutely lovely and I really enjoyed the authentic Yorkshire spoken by the narrator. It added so much to the tale.

Then, I read Incantations by N. (Nicole) Milanne, the first self-published book in her projected Jeannie’s Bottle series. This sweet middle-grade tale follows 12-year-old Jeannie, whose mother Clara, disappeared and is presumed dead. After her father’s dental practice fails, Jeannie, her dad, and her little brother move to Shallow Cove to live with Aunt Marid (in Islamic tradition, a marid is a demon like an ifrit), whose vegan cuisine Jeannie considers a trial. At her new school, Jeannie makes friends with UFO-obsessed Rita but is also harassed by “Glam Girl” Leah, and her English teacher, Mr. Queue, gives her the creeps. While helping at Aunt Marid’s second-hand shop, Mr. Queue shows up with a box of donations and Jeannie finds a brass bottle inside, which she promptly takes when it begins to glow.

Later, when she deciphers the inscription and recites it, Anpudru (Dru) the jinn emerges from the bottle. Bound to the bottle, Dru must obey many rules, like speaking in awkward forced rhyme. He can also grant Jeannie one wish per day. Jeannie’s first wish? That Leah can’t talk anymore. That goes about as well as you might expect. The story follows Jeannie as she learns to use her wishes more responsibly, while trying to solve the mystery of why Mr. Queue seems to have an interest in her. The crisis culminates on Halloween night under a blood moon lunar eclipse, and Jeannie learns who Mr. Queue really is.

I finally finished my reread of C.S. Lewis’ The Horse and His Boy. As lovely as I remember. One of my foundational series that got me into writing fantasy.

Next, I listened to Mur Lafferty’s Station Eternity, the first in her Midsolar Murders series. Mallory Viridian seems to attract murders wherever she goes, and she only failed to solve the first few — including the murder of her mother — because she was too young to put the pieces together. But as she grows up, her talent only seems to put her on the list of suspects, and the authorities actively block her from becoming a police officer or private detective. She can’t go to school or hold down a job because if she’s around people, they eventually get murdered. Stuck volunteering at an animal shelter and writing novels about the mysteries she solves to earn a living, Mallory eventually witnesses one murder too many and appeals to the alien-only sentient space station Eternity. If she can live someplace where there aren’t humans around, maybe she won’t be responsible for any further death. Unfortunately, Eternity subsequently accepts human tourists and before they even arrive, another murder — that of Eternity’s alien symbiont, or host — throws Eternity into chaos and threatens the life of every sentient species aboard. Can Mallory solve the murder before Eternity self-destructs? Awesome in every way. LOVED!

I loved it so much, in fact, that I immediately started in on the next audiobook in the series, Chaos Terminal. Mild spoilers for Station Eternity follow. Mrs. Brown, Eternity’s new human host, must travel to Eternity’s home world to learn how to be a proper host to a sentient space station. She takes Eternity’s daughter, the shuttle Infinity, depriving Xan, a former soldier claiming sanctuary on Eternity, of both his living quarters and his symbiotic partner. She also leaves Mallory in charge because of her symbiotic bond with the wasp-like sundry, who maintain Eternity’s systems. Eternity herself will be dormant for the duration of her host’s absence.

When another shuttle from Earth arrives with the new human ambassador, Mallory is completely blindsided to find the other passengers include the SBI agent who claimed the credit for all of Mallory’s solved murders on Earth, Mallory’s best friend from high school, now a quantum physicist, and her brother, Mallory’s high school crush — who, until the moment she saw him again, she had completely forgotten existed (!) Of course, murder follows on the heels of the shuttle’s arrival, and Mallory must try to solve the murder on a dormant station. Worse, she discovers bodies of hundreds of sundry and loses her connection to their hive mind, the very connection that allowed her to solve murders in the first place. How will she solve the murder during all this chaos? Another amazing listen.

So, of course, I headed right into book three of the Midsolar Murders, Infinite Archive. For a few months, Mallory is blissfully murder-free, but her time is taken up with raising the sentient ship Moebius and trying to reconnect with the sundry hive mind. She’s so absorbed in these tasks that she misses a visit from Queen Tina and Ferdinand, her nice (a rock-like alien species, not the adjective) friends from Bezoar … and a bunch of messages from her agent telling her that he’s coming to Eternity on a murder mystery convention on a giant, one-of-a-kind sentient ship called Metis and wants to talk about her next novel and, oh, and by the way he’s signed her up to be the keynote speaker and participate in a murder mystery LARP. By the time Xan prompts her to check her messages, Metis is already in transit. Never having delivered a keynote, Mallory panics and then enters research mode. When she meets with her agent, he wants her to write a cozy mystery instead of waiting for the next murder to happen, causing her to spin out further.

Then Tina returns with a “new friend,” an unknown alien, from Bezoar, and Moebius goes missing, and Mallory’s agent turns up dead in the ladies restroom where his newest author has also been assaulted, and Metis, who contains a copy of the entire internet in pocket dimensions, starts to malfunction, and things get more chaotic from there. An interesting commentary on the writing life, the publishing industry, and fan fiction. Wild but fun. I hope she continues the series.

I’ve listened to Mur’s podcast, I Should be Writing, for years, and she did a lot of research to learn how to write a mystery, like studying Agatha Christie’s entire oeuvre.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: November 2025 update

December 7, 2025 / Melanie Marttila

Rebooting …

Life in general

What follows may seem like a middle-aged white woman whinging about first world problems, but, you know, I’m learning to listen to my body and honour what it’s telling me. Even small disruptions can dysregulate me, and I hope that sharing my experience will help one of my neurokin validate theirs.

Life isn’t always one crisis after another, even if the world in general seems to be burning down around us.

Now that my travel and writerly events over the last couple of months were over, November started with the return to standard time, which messes me up for a couple of weeks (at least). This happens regardless of whether we “gain” or “lose” an hour.

Occasionally, some politician talks about eliminating the time change, but the various governments and powers that be can never agree on whether to stick with standard time or daylight saving time, and the agreement of one government depends upon the agreement of all the others. So, Ontario won’t repeal DST unless Quebec and the States with which it trades also agree. If one state or province refuses, the proposition is dead.

And now, with Canada’s provincial trade barriers potentially coming down, there may be more domestic players to take into consideration. Even though Saskatchewan has never been on DST. It is to sigh.

Though I’d been using a neti-pot twice a day throughout the year and started taking Ryaltris (also twice a day) since the beginning of September, it became clear in the early days of November that I would be sick for at least part of my month off. I increased the frequency of Cold FX and Emergen-C, planning for the worst but hoping for better.

On the 3^rd, I received an invitation to interview for the new Intake Team our directorate was creating on the 7^th. It was only a half hour, but I did my best, geeking out about learning and development and my passion to align with the new vision for our department. They said they wanted to make decisions fairly quickly, but as of the end of November, I still hadn’t heard.

Nor had I heard whether I would be one of the many employees to be cut, as per the recently passed budget.

Living on tenterhooks about both situations.

No sooner had I started to recover from the time change than I had my double vaccination of flu and COVID shots. Look, I don’t plan these things, and I think it would be difficult to try to predict my reaction to any given set of vaccinations. They change formulation for both every year. Vaccinations were a thing on my to-do list, and I made the earliest convenient appointment the pharmacy had. It just turned out it was on the 12^th.

Besides, other than a day or so of soreness, I’d never had a bad reaction in the past.

Folks, I’ve never had such a bad reaction. This year’s Moderna resulted in two days of Advil-surpassing pain and feeling like utter crap. And, of course, my sinuses ramped up toward infection with the tell-tale post-blow squeal, headaches, and — joy — cough.

I didn’t recover from the soreness and general feeling like crap until the following weekend, though the sinus symptoms persisted throughout the month.

For most of November, daytime temperatures were above zero degrees Celsius, so the various dustings of snow we received melted the next day or were washed away by rain. On the 29^th, however, the daytime temperature remained below zero and so the snow stayed. The dusting we received on the 29^th wasn’t impressive, but the snow that followed on the 30^th required Phil to use the snow blower. And the city ploughs emerged, though they didn’t touch the side streets.

Wonderful things: In the last days of November, I remembered my dreams for almost a week! Nothing story-generating, but weird and fun, nonetheless. And I got a non-dream, super-cool idea for The Fenwoman’s Tale that will make the story SO much better. When I get back to it.

The month in writing

The early days of November were a mess.

Even though I returned from the Writing on the Rocks retreat inspired and ready to devote some time to my writing … I didn’t … (?)

Instead, for some reason, my ND brain decided to start cleaning/reorganizing my office (!) I cleaned out all the candle glass (i.e. the containers candles come in) that had been sitting around my office for a year +, cleaned all the essential oil bottles that had been sitting around for at least as long, cleaned almost all of the glass (hurricane lamps, bowls, jars, etc.) in my office (I always find 1 or two containers I forgot afterward), and removed the prisms from their suction cups in my window and strung them up on a ribbon. I also cut back one of my 2 pothos plants because it was losing leaves at a rapid rate, a sure sign it was pot bound.

My assembly of suncatchers, crystals, and wind chimes.

And then, I realized I was prioritizing the wrong things and returned to writing tasks. This was, in part, why I was late posting about Can-Con, the retreat, and didn’t publish my last update/newsletter until mid-November.

After I took care of those writerly tasks, I finished an overdue review and got back to cutting Reality Bomb down to size.

All of this in the middle of major dysregulation due to the time change and double vaccination and sinusitis. Yay, brain!

By the 23^rd, I finished my second cutting pass. The total word counts currently stands at 115,661. I only managed to cut 2,345 words. But progress is progress.

Then, I returned my attention to my office clean up.

Which … I did not do.

My body and brain demanded REST and I had to obey. I did pull up a couple of older short stories and started to rework them. And I was mulling the next round of RB cuts, including a rewrite of the first chapter, in the back of my mind.

My review of Like Water for Weary Souls by Liisa Kovala came out in The Seaboard Review of Books on the 12^th.

The cover of Like Water for Weary Souls.

My review of Mona Awad’s We Love You, Bunny was released into the wild by The Seaboard Review of Books on the 19^th.

The final SF Canada board meeting of the year (before our AGM) was on the 24^th. We’re a friendly bunch and everything was decided fairly quickly. We’re a go for a December 14^th AGM.

Filling the well

The full freezing moon in Taurus was on the 5^th. It was a rainy day.

I think I’ve finally figured out how to take a good moon photo with my phone! At maximum zoom, this weird grid appears in the corner, and when you focus on the moon, the surrounding sky darkens. When you take the picture, the sky turns black, and the details of the moon come out. Some new feature on my phone. Yay!

After the full, the days alternated. One overcast and possibly raining, the next blue skies filled with sky floof that obscured the waning moon, wherever she was.

The new ivy moon in Scorpio was on the 20^th.

After the new, the sky was consistently cloudy. Also, we were entering the dark times, and my second dog walk of the day was inevitably after sunset.

I attended the virtual launch of The Pollination Field by Kim Fahner on the 5^th. It was a great event co-hosted by Alice Major. Great conversation, great questions, and great poetry. I’m looking forward to the in-person launch in the spring!

Unmasking through our writing with Murgatroyd Monaghan continued Thursday afternoons through November. It’s been a fabulous journey of self-discovery and affirmation. I would highly recommend it to any ND creative folk who want to create/define a process unique to them.

On the 8^th, I attended Books Today: Creativity, Monetization, and the Publishing World with Andrea J. Lee, Sam Hiyate, and Katie Curtin. Interesting, although it ended up being a sales pitch for a course they were offering.

I attended the in-person book launch of Liisa Kovala’s Like Water for Weary Souls on the 9^th. I had a little trouble getting where I needed to go because there was construction at the 2^nd Avenue entrance to Finlandia Koti, and I hadn’t been there since my great aunt was a resident … a long time ago. After being ranted at and threatened by the site foreman (I assumed) he finally told me where I needed to go, and it turns out I arrived just at the interview and reading were getting underway. I love Liisa’s book and wanted to support her. She and Emily De Angelis had a great conversation, and I got to chat with a few friends at the reception. Kahvi oli vahvaa, ja pulla oli hyvää!

The Clarion West workshop Revision: Turning Writing into Art Using Craft Analyses & the Reverse Outline with Naseem Jamnia took place on the 13^th and the 20^th. It was a great session, combining reading like an author with the reverse outline (outlining after first draft completion). Very in my wheelhouse as I tend to be a discovery writer (or pantser) no matter how I try to outline.

I enjoyed a lovely visit with friends from out of town on the 8^th. Our visits always tend to feel short, given we have so much to catch up on, but we had a great time.

I skipped my support group meeting on the 26^th to attend my mother-in-law’s birthday party at a local restaurant. Fabulous food and family festivity! Of course, I had to REST afterward.

My leave with income averaging continued through to the 28^th. I didn’t accomplish much aside from relaxing and resetting.

I had my semi-annual (soon to be tri-annual) dentist’s appointment on the 4^th. My insurance finally approved additional “units” of descaling for me after years of my dentist’s office applying for additional coverage. So now, I have a better chance of staying on top of the staining my teeth are prone to.

On the 10^th, I had my next session with my therapist. Mostly, it was decompressing about the month past, but we’re going to get back to values next time.

On the 12^th, I got my flu and COVID shots. I already told you how that went.

What I’m watching and reading

The first series I finished watching in November was a comfort rewatch of Gargoyles (Disney +). This series was a favourite, and the animation was done by Nelvana, a Canadian company. I watched the whole series when it originally aired (1994 -7). I appreciated the multiple mythologies used to develop the series, and I fell in love with Goliath (I’m definitely not ashamed to say). Keith David has the most amazing voice.

I’ll refer you to the Wikipedia entry, so you can think about whether you’d like to go down the Gargoyles rabbit hole.

I had no idea that Diane Duane and Peter Morwood were on the writing staff in season 2! Now I love the series even more.

Then, I watched the first season of Alien Earth (Disney +). Having finished another Noah Hawley series (Legion) not long ago, I was prepared for some weirdness. Overall, I enjoyed the series, but there are a lot of unanswered questions. FX hasn’t greenlit a second season yet, but Hawley has said that the series is intended to be 5 seasons. It’s supposedly the highest rated offering in the Alien franchise, so we’ll see.

Set after Alien: Romulus but before the events of the original Alien movie, Alien: Earth follows 6 terminally ill children as their consciousnesses are uploaded into synthetic bodies by Boy Kavalier, trillionaire CEO of the Prodigy Corporation. Shortly after their uploading, the “Lost Boys” as the hybrids are known, Wendy, Slightly, Curly, Smee, Nibs, and Toodles are sent to the crash site of the Maginot, a Weyland-Yutani ship. Because of their synthetic bodies, Boy figures they will not be targeted by the alien payload. While they do recover the aliens, including the title creature, Weyland-Yutani wants them back, and shenanigans ensue. As you may have surmised, Peter Pan is the framing metaphor for the series.

Next, I finished the first season of Chief of War (Apple TV +). Jason Momoa executive produced and starred in his latest passion project, relating the struggle to unify Hawai’i under Kamehameha I. Set at the end of the 18^th century when the four major kingdoms of the Hawaiian Islands were in a state of war: Hawaiʻi, Maui, Oʻahu, and Kauaʻi, the series follows Kaʻiana (Momoa), a warrior chief (aliʻi) of Kauaʻi. Picked up by a British ship when he falls off a cliff and is presumed dead, Ka’iana experiences the world outside of Hawai’i and returns with a shipload of guns. They had cultural advisors in every department to ensure authenticity and to present these historical events with as much accuracy as possible. Most of the dialogue is in Hawai’ian, so make sure you have captioning on. An amazing epic about a culture I’ve had the curious for.

Then, I watched Fantastic Four: First Steps (Disney +). I liked it. A friend had just watched it and said it felt like an incomplete story. It wasn’t an origin story (they took care of that in the opening montage), but I also felt it was merely the beginning of a bigger story, which conforms to the subtitle, first steps, and to the postscript advising that the Fantastic Four would return in Avengers: Doomsday. Add to that the post-credit scene in the Thunderbolts*, and it’s very much giving “to be continued …” vibes. For all that, I did enjoy the story and how Sue Storm and Shalla Bal end up being the best characters of the bunch. And the family dynamics were great. The F4 really demonstrate how a healthy family interacts. There are a lot of other reviews and analysis videos out there, so you can peruse those if you wish. For me, Thunderbolts* is still the standout Marvel movie of the last few years, though.

Next, I finished the second season of Hazbin Hotel (Prime). The first season culminated in the ascension of Serpentous/Sir Pentous. In this season, Charlie struggles to spread the good news that redemption is possible while Vox undermines her at every turn and foments war with heaven. Musicals aren’t my favourite, but the songs are bangers (!) And I love the animation style.

I finished watching season five of Only Murders in the Building (Disney +). Lester the doorman was found dead at the end of last season, and then Oliver gets tangled up with a second corpse in the dry cleaner’s next door. The main suspects are four of the richest people in the world, who sabotage the podcast to keep their secrets off air. And one of them buys the Arconia and kicks everyone out to build New York’s first casino (!) It felt for a moment like this would be the final season, but the gang sorted things out. Also, an old frenemy of Mabel’s shows up to complicate things, the board wants to have a robot doorman, and Charles is involved in a drug study. A slightly different tone to the season, but very fun. The murder setting up next season is killer.

Then, because Amazon snagged the rights, I watched both seasons of Helluva Boss (Prime). Blitzo (pronounced Blitz — the O is silent), an imp raised in the circus, goes independent as an adult, after having made a deal with goetia prince Stolas (to whom he was once “sold” as a playmate) to obtain a book that facilitates travel to the mortal realm in return for sexual favours. Yes, this is an adult animated series. Blitzo founds IMP (immediate murder professionals) offering his team’s services to kill mortals at the request of various of hell’s denizens. Blitzo’s team consists of Millie and Moxxie, passionate partners as well as assassins, and Loona, Blitzo’s adopted daughter and hellhound.

This is the background against which the real story — that of love between deeply damaged people — plays out. The main romance is between Blitzo and Stolas. Stolas, trapped in a loveless, arranged marriage, falls deeply for Blitzo. He loves his daughter, Octavia (Via) but, not having had loving parents himself, he cannot show Via affection in a healthy way. Blitzo loves Stolas, too, but feels unworthy of love because of his own upbringing. Other relationships — Millie and Moxxie, Ozzy and Fizzie — compare and contrast, while Blitzo’s relationship with Loona plays against Stolas’ relationship with Via. Amazingly complex for an animated series. Absolutely loved it.

My first listen of the month was Hex Around and Find Out by Molly Harper, the second in her Moonshadow Cove series. This cozy paranormal romance focuses on middle sister Coral (Cora) Seaworth. All three Seaworth sisters have lived in isolation after the deaths of their parents. They’ve had to figure everything out on their own, including that they are fae fin folk as well as witches charged with the tasks of managing the ghosts of Starfall Point and guarding the egg of a kelpie (AKA the Loch Ness Monster AKA a seahorse-dragon). Cora’s the quiet one who’d rather curl up with a book, but when she runs into charming but shiftless Igor (Iggy) Galinsky, it’s not long before irritation turns into infatuation. When Iggy is shot in the ass with a tranquilizer dart, Cora has no choice but to take him to Moonshadow Cove … and keep him there until they can be sure he’s not going to spill the magical beans. Another fun, lighthearted read.

Next, I finished reading Under the Whispering Door by TJ Klune. Wallace is a lawyer and, if we’re being honest, a jerk. When he dies of a heart attack and Mei reaps him at his funeral, he’s desperate to return to the corporate hamster wheel. He has work to do! Instead, he’s taken to the Charron’s Crossing Tea Shop, where Hugo, the owner and ferryman, promises to help him cross over. The ghosts of Nelson, Hugo’s grandfather, and Apollo, Hugo’s dog provide no end of irritation to the newly deceased Wallace. Complicating Wallace’s journey of undead self-discovery are husks (remnants of ghosts who refuse to cross over and wander the world outside the tea shop), charlatan psychics, grieving mothers, and the most terrifying being of all, The Manager. Another lovely, and loving, Klune novel.

So, of course, having read a couple of cozy (or cozy-adjacent), paranormal romances, I headed for the epic grimdark romantasy of Danielle L. Jensen’s The Tempest Blade, the sixth in the Bridge Kingdom series. It’s not out yet in print but Audible released the audiobook early.

This is the second novel of Ahnna’s story. At the end of book five, though Ahnna and James have fallen in love, Ahnna learns that James is part of a plot to claim the Bridge for Harendell, and Ahnna is framed for the brutal murder of King Edward, James’ father. She flees and he pursues her, swearing bloody vengeance. The previous couples — Lara and Aren of Ithicana, and Zarrah and Keris of Valcotta — all have POV chapters in this book. Lara and Keris’ sister Zarhina has ceded to a democracy in Meridrina, but there’s still the rulership/governance of Amarid and Cardiff to settle. Though the ending felt pretty definitive, which may indicate that this 6^th book is the last in the series, I’d think the author would want to ensure all the countries of her world are established with passionate couples that have been through literal hell for one another. Cardiff and Amarid have yet to be explored in detail, and Cardiff has an interesting, witchy culture to delve into. I guess we’ll see when the print book comes out next March.

Then I read Tobias S. Buckell’s The Executioness. Tana’s father is an Executioner, given the task of beheading those who use magic, causing the irrepressible and poisonous bramble to grow. But he’s dying when the call comes from the Jolly Mayor that his services are needed, and because her husband is useless and she needs to feed her family, Tana takes up her father’s axe, dons his hood, and goes to do his duty, in a move reminiscent of Mulan. And like Mulan, Tana is caught up in war when raiders burn her village and abduct her sons. Immediately, she sets out to rescue them. Buckell writes Tana’s grief and rage well.

Next, I finished reading The Book of Life by Deborah Harkness. When Matthew and Diana return to the present, it’s to find that Emily has been murdered. The Congregation’s been up to their old tricks and though the witch responsible is removed, the de Clairmonts still have formidable obstacles to overcome if they want their happily ever after. Like rescinding the Covenant, which prohibits “inter-species” marriage, which Diana and Matthew are in violation of. Like Benjamin, the son Matthew abandoned, who now wants to possess Diana and her children. And like finally finding the Book of Life and restoring its pages so that the riddles of blood rage and weavers can finally be solved. A satisfying conclusion to the All Souls trilogy.

Then, I listened to The Quantum Labyrinth: How Richard Feynman and John Wheeler Revolutionized Time and Reality by Paul Halpern. This fascinating biography documents the development of Feynman and Wheeler’s academic and personal relationship. Over the years, nearly every great mind in physics becomes a part of the story from Einstein and Bohr, through Oppenheimer (both men participated in The Manhattan Project), to Thorne. It’s as much history as it is biography and science book. Fascinating.

I listened to J.M. Barrie’s Peter Pan, having been prompted by Alien: Earth (see above). I hadn’t actually read it before, and it was interesting to compare the ominous narration of Boy Kavalier with the original text. Mother’s “cleaning up” their children’s minds after they’ve fallen asleep. Peter “culling” the lost boys from time to time. More interesting was the narrator’s overt critique of Mrs. Darling as a bad mother because she was kind to her children. Mr. Darling’s outright incompetence is given a pass. There’s a lot in this children’s book that bears examination.

Next, I listened to American Fairy Tales by L. Frank Baum. Originally published in syndication (much like Dickens published much of his fiction) following the publication of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, the twelve stories in this collection include knooks, ryls, and other fairies, how the king of the polar bears loses and then recovers his pelt, a beetle that grants the poor woman who saves him with a pump that produces gold, a storefront mannikin that comes to life, a young cowboy who lassoes Father Time, and other entertaining tales. Many of the stories offer somewhat clumsy morals at their conclusion, however.

Then, I listened to John Wiswell’s Someone You Can Build a Nest In. Sheshesen is a shapeshifting monster just trying to survive and avoid the human monster hunters who killed her mother. When one of those hunters, Catharsis Wolfire, disturbs her hibernation, Shesheshen has no choice but to defend herself. Though she kills Catharsis, the other two monster hunters with him escape. Again, Shesheshen must pursue them if she hopes to protect her home and privacy. They’ll come back and bring even more hunters with them. But Shesheshen is exposed during her investigation in the local town and, like many a monster before her, she is pursued by an angry mob and falls off a cliff, it is thought, to her death.

A kind woman named Homily nurses Shesheshen back to health and the two begin to bond. Distressingly, Shesheshen’s eggs have decided that Homily would make a most suitable nest and Shesheshen is conflicted. Explore the bond they share or implant her eggs and lose Homily forever? Things get even more complicated when Shesheshen learns that Homily is a Wolfire, and her family has dedicated themselves to killing the shapeshifting monster who cursed them years ago, who is apparently Shesheshen, and she has no memory of cursing anyone. A fabulous novel with a series of truly surprising twists. And Shesheshen is autistic-coded! Hear me out. I’ve often felt like and alien or, yes, a monster. I related to Shesheshen HARD.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: October 2025 update

November 12, 2025 / Melanie Marttila

My continuing adventures in caregiving. And buckle up, folks, this is an epic update (!)

Life in general

A picture of a cloudy sky above spruce trees.

It was October 2^nd, and I was cocooned (weighted blanket, weighted eye mask, ear plugs) and sleeping when my phone started ringing around 2 am. I roused and checked the number. No caller ID. From Utah? Who would be calling me from Utah? I ignored it. Then there was a second call.

Later, there were two more from a local number, again, without caller ID. Complex processor me was irritated and perplexed, but I didn’t clue in until my husband woke me up. Emergency services (ambulance and fire truck) were in the driveway (my mom lives next door to us).

The calls were from my mom’s Life Protect service.

When I got dressed and over to mom’s, she was still on the floor, having slipped trying to get out of bed for a midnight bathroom visit. Phil had let the paramedics in, and they got her up, brought her walker, got her to the bathroom and then back into bed. I stood watching and feeling intense shame for not answering my phone. The kind fireman, who probably would have had to break down my mom’s door if Phil hadn’t let them in, tried to reassure me that he would have done the same thing, but I felt judged.

Before they left, the EMTs recommended we get Mom a bed rail.

The rest of the night was sleepless.

The next day, I added both the Utah number, probably a call centre, and the local number, probably emergency services, to my contacts so I wouldn’t make the same mistake in the future. Phil called Silver Cross, who had helped Mom in the past with her walker and chair lift, about a bed rail. They’d have to call him back.

Mom was fine, though sore from her fall.

On Saturday, we had an appointment at the hairdresser, and she suggested that Mom get a keyless lock, so that, if I was away, she could give emergency services the code to get in. We discussed it over supper, and I realized that we needed to get some non-slip furniture pads for her bed feet too. She got rid of the carpet (then a tripping hazard) in her bedroom years ago and had laminate flooring installed. That meant that her bedframe could shift unexpectedly, even though we’d locked the wheels on it. It’s one thing I suspected may have contributed to the fall.

On Sunday, Phil installed the keypad lock. Monday, Silver Cross called and said they had the bed rail in stock, so he got the bed rail, and we installed it. All that was left were the non-slip furniture pads.

Phil found an old silicone cake pan and cut 4 squares. We ensured the wheels were locked and placed the silicone underneath. We both tested the bed for slippage. We thought things were good but waited on Mom’s report. It worked.

The final two weeks of October were a whirlwind.

Off to Can-Con for four days, back for three, then off again to a writing retreat, which was also the start of my LIA.

Good things, fun events, but still dysregulating because of the change to my daily rituals and habits, not sleeping in my own bed, being away from Phil and Torvi, etc.

While I was away in Ottawa, I noticed that my frenemy eczema decided to visit my left ring finger knuckle?! It inevitably pops up in weird places (e.g. my armpits … ?). FYI, it is incredibly difficult to keep the medicated cream on a knuckle.

Random awesomeness: I received a gift package from the Canadian Internet Registration Authority (CIRA). I’m a member and attended their virtual AGM (an event I may have neglected to include … I attend a lot of them!). It was a lovely gift box including:

a dark craft chocolate bar with fleur de sel from The Organic House (delish – all gone – no notes)
pasticinni cookies from Bliss Gourmet Baked Goods (sandwich cookies made with shortbread wafers, buttercream filling, and topped with dark chocolate drizzle – OMG – def all gone)
dark hot chocolate with vegan marshmallows from Peace by Chocolate (love the hot chocolate, never was fond of marshmallows in same)
three sample packs of Cafézia Coffee (light, medium, and dark roast) with cleavers, hyssop, and yerba maté, which I am really enjoying
a can of organic lemon ginger iced tea from the Genuine Tea Co., which I haven’t tried yet (but I’ll let you know when I do)
a jar of cider blueberry reduction from Lupin Pantry, which Phil says he’ll try on chicken some night, and
a package of lemon sorbet cotton candy from flufforia, which I have also not tried yet.

It was like getting an early birthday present!

The month in writing

The second cutting pass on Reality Bomb continued. I’m down to about 116,500 words from 118,000. So progress, but I may have to settle for 115,000 as a goal. Not ideal. More than most publishers and agents would tolerate, even from a science fiction novel.

My review of Kate Blair’s We Bury Nothing came out in the October 1^st edition of The Seaboard Review of Books.

The cover of Kate Blair's We Bury Nothing.

I received my Access Copyright payback payment on the 9^th! It was a pleasant surprise.

My big writerly event of the month was Can-Con in Ottawa from October 17^th to 19^th. I was on two panels, “The Art of Rest” at 8 pm on Friday, October 17, and the second, “The Taste of Sadness: Writing Emotional Dysregulation” at 2:30 pm on Sunday, October 19.

I felt Can-Con deserved its own post.

On the 9^th, there was a meeting of the Wordstock Planning Committee. Though I wouldn’t be present for the festival this year, I wanted to support it as much as possible.

And on the 27^th, there was another meeting of the SF Canada Board. We wanted to get ahead of the holidays this year and prepare for a mid-December AGM.

Filling the well

The full falling leaves super moon in Aries was on the 6^th. As seems to be the usual here in Sudbury, it started raining after noon and continued into the night.

The new vine moon in Libra was on the 21^st.

And the month ended, as it always does, with my beloved Samhain on the 31^st.

As usual, no kids came. I even left the treats out on the stairs while I was at my BD dins at my mom’s. We had souvlaki, lemon potatoes, rice, Greek salad, and pita with tzatziki, and Phil got a small, salted caramel chocolate cake for ‘zert.

On the first, I attended an Access Copyright workshop on Generative AI and Strategic Considerations for Creators and Publishers. It was informative considering the Anthropic Settlement.

I signed up for another Tiffany Yates Martin webinar through Jane Friedman on the 8^th. Mastering Voice in Fiction was, as usual, excellent. Martin does a lot of textual analysis, which helps. Also, she often brings in fun peripheral examples.

On the 15^th there was another Canadian Authors Association and SF Canada webinar presented by Susan Forest. Book Bones was excellent, incorporating multiple story structures. Forest really knows her stuff!

Hole in the Sky: a conversation between Daniel H. Wilson and Nisi Shawl was on the 16^th. A fascinating conversation.

On the 22^nd was Enshittification and the Rot Economy: a conversation between Cory Doctorow and Ed Zitron. Another amazing and topical conversation.

Writing on the Rocks, a Wild Ground Writing Retreat was on the weekend of the 24^th to 26^th. Again, I thought the event was worthy of its own post.

I signed up for another Tiffany Yates Martin webinar through Jane Friedman on the 29^th. The Final Polish was different from her usual offerings. Editing is her wheelhouse, and she provided a lot of concrete examples of how to improve our manuscripts on the line level. There was still textual analysis, but it was applied with an eye to that final polish.

Finally, a friend, Murgatroyd Monaghan, offered a 6-week course, “Unmasking Through Our Writing,” on Thursdays from October 30^th through December 4^th. Of course I signed up for it!

After a summer off family gatherings to accommodate my mom-in-law’s move into my sister-in-law’s house, we got together for Thanksgiving. It was great to see how well my mom-in-law is doing now that she’s settled in. The food was fabulous, and it was wonderful catching up with everyone. We went home with enough leftovers for another meal as well as pumpkin and cherry pies. Of course, I was grateful to have the time to recover after. Even welcome social events drain me.

My next therapy session was on the 14^th, before all my writerly events and travel. We went through various relationships (spouse, friends, colleagues, family, etc.) and chatted about boundaries and whether the relationships in question fed me, drained me, and if the latter, whether it was a required/obligatory energy suck that I’d have to be aware of/account for.

I signed up for a PFLS information session on the new Canadian disability benefit on the 21^st. I don’t qualify, but it was an interesting info session.

Also on the 21^st, I had an appointment with my RMT. As ever, the calming reset I needed.

My support group met on the 22^nd. The topic this month was resilience, which I hope I’m developing.

And on the 24^th, my self-funded leave began!

Finally, on the 30^th, I took Torvi in for her now monthly “touch up” service. Back in August, she reacted poorly to the dryer, and the groomers could therefore no longer bathe her. They converted the rest of the grooming package I had purchased into a gift card. Baths will now be our responsibility. Fortunately, Torvi doesn’t get super dirty until the spring. I’m holding off as long as I can, because I expect she will show aggression to me, as well.

My poor trauma hound.

What I’m watching and reading

Phil and I watched Marvel Zombies (Disney +). This animated series picks up from the “What if … Zombies?!” episode. Kamala Kahn, Riri Williams, and Kate Bishop team up, but are soon tragically separated. Peter Parker recounts how T’Challa defeated zombie Thanos even though he had all the infinity stones. Zemo finally becomes baron … of the Raft. And all may not be what it seems in New Asgard … very fun, but also very dark. We either need another season, or answers in one of the next live action Marvel movies (a possibility, though not confirmed) because the series ends on a crazy cliffhanger.

I finally watched both seasons of Peacemaker (HBO/Crave). I’d avoided it when it first came out, because I didn’t like the character the The Suicide Squad. But eventually, I’d heard enough good about the series that I figured I’d give it a try. I watched the first season in anticipation of the second. And it’s very much an emotional journey for Chris Smith. We get to witness his wound—being forced to fight his brother by their abusive, white supremacist father and accidentally killing him—and how that experience and the need to prove himself to his father shapes him into the man who wants to “make peace, no matter how many people he has to kill to do it.” But a guy that a bald eagle (Eagly) hugs can’t be all bad …

In the first season, Chris, fresh out of a month-long rehabilitation following his apparent death in The Suicide Squad, is recruited to another ARGUS black-ops team seeking to eliminate an alien species, “the butterflies,” who take over peoples’ bodies, killing them in the process. While they defeat the butterflies, it’s belatedly revealed that they were trying to help humanity. Amanda Waller is exposed, and the team breaks up, though they still socialize because they are the definition of a crazy found family.

In the second season, the characters try to make their ways in the world. John Economos is the only one still employed by ARGUS. Emelia Harcourt has been black-listed and resorts to nightly fist fights to feel anything. Leota Adebayo has left her wife to start her own security consulting business, but no one wants to hire her. Adrian Chase/Vigilante carries on in his violent vigilante ways, and Chris can’t find work anywhere. Rick Flagg Sr. is now in charge of ARGUS and wants revenge on Chris (for killing Rick Flagg Jr. in The Suicide Squad), and Chris is in unrequited love with Emelia. In desperation, he enters the quantum unfolding chamber and stumbles into another world where his brother and father (whom he killed in the first season) are alive and are heroes together with his alternate self. Of course, the first thing that happens is that he fights and kills himself. And Eagly gets his own subplot! Honestly, Eagly’s my favourite character. Followed closely by Leota. She’s the heart of the 11^th Street Kids.

It’s a surprisingly heartfelt, if goofy and anime-level bloody, series.

But … if this is not only the second but also the last season of Peacemaker, I confess the finale was unsatisfying. Was it that James Gunn wrote Peacemaker season 2 in the same relatively short period of time during which he was also working on Creature Commandos season 1 and Superman? Was it a matter of too many ideas and not enough figurative time to do them all justice? I personally think that with another two (or possibly more) episodes, all the disparate events (e.g. Eagly’s subplot, love it as I did, could have been eliminated and not affected the main story arc, and what was that with Rick Flagg Sr. uncharacteristically sacrificing his people to explore the worlds in the QUC while laughing it up and doing coke with Lex Luthor’s minions?) could have been better linked and probably made more sense. I also understand that the final scene was not Gunn’s idea, so if it felt weird, there was a reason for it. I won’t spoil the series further, because it is worth watching. Enjoyed immensely, despite the finale-that-didn’t-feel-like-a-finale.

Next, I watched the first season of The PITT (HBO/Crave). Basically, ER meets 24. A shift in the life of a Pittsburgh ER staff with a new class of interns. A lovely, diverse group of doctors and nurses, including at least one neurodivergent character. Everyone got their moment and there was a lot of great character development despite all the medical drama. And drama there was! A mass shooting event at a concert floods the ER with patients. And the acting was superb.

I won’t spoil it, and Tom vander Linden doesn’t either, but I like his analysis of the season:

Then, I finished watching Washington Black (Disney +). This limited series was adapted from the novel of the same name by Esi Edugyan. George Washington “Wash” Black is born to a slave on a Barbadian plantation and is taken as an assistant to the plantation owner’s brother, Christpher “Tich” Wilde. In the process of their scientific investigations, Wash runs afoul of another of Tich’s brothers, who commits suicide, attempting to frame Wash for his murder. Tich flees with Wash and the two have adventures that ultimately result in Wash living in Nova Scotia under an assumed name, because bounty hunters are still after him. A fabulous, touching series told in interwoven timelines (Wash as a child and Wash as an adult) with an amazing ending. Loved! I’ll have to move the book higher up in my TBR pile.

Next, Phil and I watched the second season of Gen V (Prime). Marie escapes Elmira, leaving the rest of the gang behind. Andre pushes his powers too far in an escape attempt and dies (to account for actor Chance Perdomo’s death in a motorcycle accident, RIP). Eventually everyone, including Marie, who is given a mission by Starlight/Annie — discover what Project Odessa is and how to stop it — returns to Godolkin, where the new dean, Cipher, puts them all through extreme training to force their powers to evolve. There are a lot of ties to The Boys, and the ending of the season promises to have the whole gang teaming up with Annie, A-Train, and the resistance for the final season of the main series. There’s a lot more. This season of Gen V was tightly plotted, and they didn’t waste a minute on irrelevant … stuff. I mean, even the guy with a pocket universe in his ass came into play in the climactic scene. Bloody but excellent!

Then, I finished watching the first season of Dept. Q (Netflix). Detective Carl Morck was involved in a shooting that left his partner paralyzed and another officer dead. Now he’s been recruited to solve cold cases, and the first one is a missing prosecutor, Merritt Lingard. It’s a complex and layered series, dealing with Morck’s relationship with his son, PTSD from the shooting, therapy (which he is resistant to) and his antisocial behaviour and anger issues. Though he’s supposed to be working alone, he recruits his partner to help him recover (though Morck realizes he can’t go it alone). He is sent an assistant, Akram Salim, a Syrian police officer who is technically supposed to be a file clerk, but Morck recognizes Salim’s skill and invites him to work the case along with him. Finally, Rose Dickson, a young constable desperate to get out from behind the desk, insinuates herself into the growing team. They mystery is also a complex one and Morck is challenged to save Merritt Lingard before her abductors kill her. Another excellent series.

My first read of October was Like Water for Weary Souls by Liisa Kovala. This historical mystery was set in Sudbury, focusing on the Finnish community in 1932 and 1933, and addressed how the Great Depression affected Sudbury and how “Karelian Fever” affected the Finnish community specifically. Kovala also delved into classism and cultural othering as well as prostitution and women’s reproductive health at the time. Her novel was inspired by real events.

Hanna Kivi and her sister Esteri (Essi) move from their family farm in Wanup into the city. Both find work as domestics but can only afford to take rooms at Rouva Russa’s boarding house in the Donovan, which is also a brothel. When Hanna’s body is found frozen in Nolin Creek, Essi immediately suspects foul play. Hanna would never risk crossing the creek, not after their sister Martta drowned years earlier, but the police want to rule it an accident. Essi’s investigation takes her deep into the city’s underbelly. Was it Pekka Peltonen, the burly drunk Hanna was seen talking to? Was it Matti Korhonen, the Karelian recruiter Hanna was secretly working for? The more Essi learns, the more she worries she didn’t know her sister at all.

Then, I finished reading We Love You, Bunny by Mona Awad. This book and its predecessor, Bunny, are considered dark academia books. I’ve been reading a lot of those, recently. R.F. Kuang’s Katabasis and Charlie Jane Anders’ Lessons in Magic and Disaster both fall into that sub-genre as well.

In Bunny, Samantha Heather Mackie enrolls in the prestigious MFA at New England’s Warren (there are two Warren colleges, one in California and the other in Tennessee, so Awad’s is fictional, and why wouldn’t it be?). She endures the mean girl bullying of the rest of her all-woman cohort until she is inexplicably invited to one of their “slut salons” during which the “Bunnies” take literary creation in a surreal direction, after which Sam goes down a hellish rabbit hole. All puns intended.

In We Love You, Bunny, which serves as both sequel and prequel, Sam has published her debut novel (which, it seems, is Bunny) and returns to Warren on her book tour. Her former cohort has returned as well and kidnaps her after her reading. They tie her up in Kyra, AKA Creepy Doll’s attic, where the aforementioned “slut salons” took place, and take turns holding the axe they used in their rituals to Sam’s neck while they recount their stories, effectively “revising” Sam’s.

Filled with unreliable narrators (really, is there any other kind?), all the snark you can stand (and then some), and even more surreal body horror than the first book, We Love You, Bunny is hilarious and horrific and eerily touching by turns. While it answers some questions raised in Bunny, is asks so many more that you’ll be asking along with several of the characters, “what is real?”

Next, I found a few more non-fiction titles that intrigued me and I listened to The Life and Works of L.M. Montgomery by Kate Scarth. This Great Courses/Audible Original collaboration walks through the life and literary influence of L.M. Montgomery in six lectures on family, place, friendship, creativity, and literature. I enjoyed it quite a bit. I have a confession: though I’ve seen the Megan Follows miniseries and Anne with an E, I’ve never read Anne of Green Gables (!)

So of course, my next read was Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Mongomery. It seems that the Megan Follows adaptation was faithful to the novel. A lovely story, with all the feels. Everyone should read it. Full stop.

Then, I listened to Written on the Dark by Guy Gavriel Kay. It is inspired by 15th century France and the Hundred Years’ War. It depicts versions of the figures Charles VI, Joan of Arc, and Henry V’s campaign in France culminating in the Battle of Agincourt, while the story focuses on the life and deeds of a tavern poet, inspired by François Villon. It is set in Ferrieres, Kay’s analogue of France.

Poet Thierry Villar is about to burgle a sanctuary to pay off a debt on a cold, winter night when the provost of Orane presses him into service as a spy to discover who killed the king’s brother, the Duke de Montereau. Villar’s investigations bring him to the attention of the king and queen of Ferrieres, poet Marina di Seressa, land him in prison, force him to exercise his atrophied skills as a lawyer, and to witness political and military machinations that change the world as he knows it. Villar serves as an everyman, swept up in grander schemes, but in the end, his words, written on the dark, fit the purposes of greater men and women. Justice is meted out, women and queer characters find their places in the world, and love is found and lost, as ever.

The epilogue ties several of the novel’s characters to events in others of his novels (A Brightness Long Ago and The Sarantine Mosaic). Excellent!

Next, I opted for another Great Courses/Audible Original selection, The Power and Persona of Catherine de’ Medici by William Landon. Catherine was seen as a political commodity for most of her childhood and several European royal families vied for her, but France won out. Stuck in a loveless, initially childless marriage, Catherine outlived her husband and all her male children. She was still the power behind the throne not only for her husband, but for the three of her sons who became king of France after him. Fascinating!

Then, I listened to The Downloaded 2: Ghosts in the Machine, by Robert J. Sawyer. The downloaded survivors of the nuclear disaster that left them stranded in The Downloaded have been working diligently to launch two new missions in light of the meteor about to strike Earth in an extinction-level event. The ex-convicts, led my Roscoe Kadoulian will be resettling on Mars, is a secondary colony on the opposite side of the planet from the main Martian colony. The astronauts, led by Captain Letitia Garvey, will upload to the quantum system again and head to Zeta Tucanae to complete their original exploratory mission. A fatal accident means that Roscoe must upload — something he’d sworn never to do again — as well. What he finds in the quantum system is both a miracle and the potential doom of every uploaded consciousness in the system. An excellent, suspenseful story.

Finally, I listened to Margaret Atwood: Modern Myth-Maker, by Jennifer Cognard-Black. In yet another Great Courses/Audible Original collaboration, Cognard-Black positions Atwood as an author who rewrites women’s myths with intention. While most of the short audiobook focuses on The Handmaid’s Tale, many of Atwood’s other works are referenced. Gave me thinky thoughts.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

Life in general

The month in writing

Filling the well

What I’m watching and reading

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Life in general

The month in writing

Filling the well

What I’m watching and reading

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Life in general

The month in writing

Filling the well

What I’m watching and reading

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Life in general

The month in writing

Filling the well

What I’m watching and reading

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Life in general

The month in writing

Filling the well

What I’m watching and reading

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Life in general

The month in writing

Filling the well

What I’m watching and reading

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Life in general

The month in writing

Filling the well

What I’m watching and reading

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Life in general

The month in writing

The year in review

Filling the well

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Filling the well

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Life in general

The month in writing

Filling the well

What I’m watching and reading

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