Sundog Snippet: Uncertainty

English: Circumzenithal arc and sundog over Ci...

English: Circumzenithal arc and sundog over Cirrus clouds (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I just wrote about being a little overwhelmed and stressed recently.  Part of that is my work situation.

Without getting into too many details, I’ll give you the quick picture.

My current acting assignment as regional training coordinator will end August 31, 2013.  I’ve already been extended once, and while there is a possibility that I’d be kept on, I’m not sure if that’s in the cards.

As an actor, I really don’t have the option of applying for a self-funded leave, but I’m really in need of one.  I’m approaching burnout.

My main duties, to manage the regional training plan and budget for my business line are a continual source of stress.  Change is the name of the game, and I try my best to make sure that things work out by redoing several tables and excel worksheets every time there is a change, but it’s a lot of work.

To keep myself motivated, I keep my fingers in the training and training design pots, but that only adds stress (good as that kind may be) because I have to do these extra duties in addition to what I’m supposed to be doing.

I’ve applied for a couple of positions recently with our internal learning college.  One is as an instructional designer, and that’s where I want to be.  The other seems to be a position much like the one I currently occupy.  I haven’t heard anything about either of these processes yet.

We are reaching a point where, after the tumult of business transformation last year, a number of our boomer employees will be retiring.  This will open up another couple of consultant-level opportunities for me, but I don’t know that I’d enjoy either position.  We expect further retirement announcements in the coming months, and some at significantly higher levels.

These executive-level retirements will have a trickle-down effect and as our structure shifts to accommodate these new absences, even more opportunities may become available.  It will also throw us into a new round of chaos.

I’m not looking forward to it.

Part of me hopes that I’ll be back to my substantive position and that I’ll be able to take a break in the fall.  Another part of me is invested in the instructional designer assessment process.  It’s where I think I need to be.

The bottom line is, I don’t know where I’ll be situated in my work world in a few months time.

Writerly GoodnessChange may be the new constant, but I’ve had enough.  I am not agile.  I may rise to the occasion, but not without cost.

This is it for the Learning Mutt this week.

Next week, I’ll blog about my first training for trainers gig.

6 thoughts on “Sundog Snippet: Uncertainty

  1. Some people say a certain amount of stress is good for you but I always think it depends on how much support you have. It doesn’t sound as though you have as much as you should. In that case you could head down the road of too much stress and make yourself ill. Please don’t let that happen. Your readers would miss you, your friends would miss you and so would the job.If you need some leave, take it! Even if it has to be sick leave so that we can keep you with us.
    xx Hugs xx


    • Phil is a great support for me, and the way that he supports me most is to give me the time and space that I need to do the things I want. He also listens when I need to let off steam, and gives me lots of hugs and kisses. He does all the cooking around here because he knows I’m not fond. He also encourages me to pursue my writing. At work, the situation is different. My team is virtual and everyone is experiencing the same kind of stress from uncertainty. We can only commiserate and cheer each other on in this bizarre treading water competition that our collective careers have become. This is why part of me is really hoping that I have some time to return to my sustantive position. The self-funded leave becomes more of a possibility then. If some other indeterminate position comes along, then I have the option of negotiating a reduced work week too, which I’m seriously considering, even though I have many years left in the work world. I shall have to wait and see. It’s the waiting that gives me the wiggins.
      Thanks, David.


  2. Hi Melanie, it’s a draining feeling reaching burnout. I hope that you manage to resolve your work issues – sometimes something comes along at the last minute which is just the thing we were seeking. Fingers crossed this will happen to you x


    • Thanks, Gemma. For a job, I really kind of like what I do. I just wish I could make the same kind of money from my writing. Maybe I can if I do it full time, but for the next four years, I’m kind of stuck on the hamster wheel while we pay off loans and the line of credit. If I get the ID position, it might allow some more flexibility, and impose less stress on me. I won’t feel the need to be doing all the extra things I do now, and I’ll probably have more energy for the creative side of my life.
      I just have an issue with the whole concept of work as it exists in this century. I can’t see how what I spend most of my life doing actually helps anyone, or makes life any better for anyone. It can make for the empty heart sometimes. The writing is different. I still may not change lives, but I’ll certainly be able to entertain people, make them think and feel, and maybe make them happy. That would be the awesomesauce on my sundae 🙂


  3. I hope things get better, Melanie. I can definitely sympathize. My work situation is over-the-top stressful a lot of times (attorney, blech…) and it has a way of bleeding into other parts of my life. I hope that a solution presents itself for you that is better for your peace of mind. 🙂


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