A chaotic month—in good ways and bad
Life in general
After two months of blissful relaxation and recovery, October started off with a bang.
On the 29th of September, the SF Canada board was made aware of an issue requiring immediate action. Unfortunately, an issue with my mom occurred the same day, and that’s where my energy had to go.
I acted as quickly as I was able, but what I thought would be a straightforward situation quickly became fraught.
Welp, I’ll just say that the issue consumed the first two weeks of October and a good portion of my recovered wellbeing.
In the middle of this period, I returned to work for two days and while I didn’t have a lot to do (mostly clearing out documents, email, brief meetings about my impending departure, and things like that), by Thanksgiving weekend, my mental health (level of executive function, anxiety, quality of sleep, frequency of rumination, etc.) was back where it had been at the beginning of August.
Ten weeks of recovery lost.
Fortunately, further rest meant that I recouped that lost recovery faster. Unfortunately, I couldn’t rest as much or as deeply as I needed to.
Because Can-Con! This was my second year as a panellist and even though I was not at my peak, participating in my two panels and hosting the SF Canada Meet-up fed me as much energy as I was expending. I went swimming every morning, fed my body some really good food, and got to sleep earlier in the evenings, all of which helped.
But … I forgot my sleep mask and ear plugs and had to find the nearest Shoppers to buy inadequate replacements. Thankfully, I planned to arrive the day before the convention started and leave the day after it ended. So, I had the time, and I got a nice walk in. Still, I didn’t sleep as well as I could have.
I also picked up or bought a LOT of books. I got many of them signed. It’s my version of retail therapy. Now, I’ll have to rearrange my office shelves to accommodate them all!
Around that time, my Feedly account stopped sharing the blogs I follow to Facebook. I tried for a day or two to share them manually, and it was honestly too much bullshit. I don’t think Facebook was showing my shared blogs to a lot of people anyway, so … I decided to stop. Another small task off my plate!
When I returned from Can-Con, Phil told me my King Charles III Coronation Medal (awarded back in January 2025) had finally arrived … about a half hour after I departed for Kanata.
And the weekend following Can-Con, I went to Writing on the Rocks, again for the second year in a row. I wasn’t going to attend because of all the other things going on in my life, but in August, I said, “what the hell,” and signed up.
While I was there, Phil cancelled our cable. I can watch almost everything I want to on streaming, anyway.
And then, it was back to work for my final four days, full of administrivia.
Folks, those last four days were surreal. Each day, I had a list of tasks to perform or confirm that I had already completed. Each day, I thought I had done everything I needed to. And the next day, another bunch of tasks queued up for my attention.
My last day arrived, and it still didn’t feel real for me.
I arranged to take my work-related tech, ID, and access card back to the local office the next day. I saw some colleagues and chatted, but Phil was circling the block waiting for me (there is no parking downtown on a weekday) so I couldn’t stay long.
On the morning of the 31st, my nervous system crashed again.
More rest was definitely in order, but so too was giving some serious thought to what I wanted to change about my life. Nothing big. Just baby steps.
I had a feeling it was going to be a long haul yet.
The month in writing
Though I’d managed to revise 16 chapters of Reality Bomb in September, as October began, I fell back into the burnout well.
And then, because of Can-Con, I didn’t get a lot of writing done. I copied all my working documents onto my laptop and intended to do something, but I had to count my spoons and manage my energy and executive function.
On the 15th (the day I left for Can-Con) my review of Aamir Hussain’s Under the Full and Crescent Moon was published in The Seaboard Review of Books, under their Throwback Thursday edition.
Then, on the 21st, the episode of Ramblings from the Little Shed podcast when Holly and Rogan interviewed Mat Del Papa and me was released into the wild!
We had a lot of fun during the recording. It turned out great!
The weekend after Can-Con was the Writing on the Rocks retreat, and I had some focused time to get some work done. I started trimming my unwieldy synopsis down to size, cut several hundred words from RB, and finished another review.
My review of Charlie Angus’s Dangerous Memory was published in the Throwback Thursday edition of The Seaboard Review of Books.
After much consideration, I also made the decision to leave formal reviewing after the still-sizable list of books I have yet to review have been read, written up, and submitted. It was another part of redesigning my life to focus on what’s most important and fulfilling for me.
Finally, on the 31st, I revised what had been a piece of flash fiction … and submitted it!
Filling the well
The new vine moon in Libra was on the 10th.
The full falling leaves moon in Taurus was on the 26th.
And the month ended with Samhain (and ma berfday!) on the 31st.
Phil ordered bento boxes from Kinhao—delicious! highly recommend, but honestly, one bento would have fed the both of us—and he’d nabbed a small white raspberry cake while I was out walking Torvi and hid it in the basement until after we’d eaten. After he cleared supper and put away the leftovers, he lit the birthday candles and brought it up, singing happy birthday. Aw!
Torvi made a splash on our walk with her dragon costume.
But the 31st was also a crash day and I confess, for the first time in … years, I did not light up my altar.
In terms of writerly events, I signed up for a Saskatchewan Writers’ Guild workshop with Tanis MacDonald, “Better Together: A Genre Mash-up” on the first. Some great ideas for my own hybrid work.
On the 6th was K.M. Weiland’s “Negative Character Arcs: The Hidden Pattern of Self-Deception.” I had to watch the replay because of other priorities, but Weiland’s whole series has deepened my understanding of character arcs and how they potentially intertwine. Excellent.
Kate Heartfield’s “Playing with Ideas,” hosted by the Ottawa chapter of the Canadian Authors Association, was on the 7th. Some interesting thoughts about generating ideas, including using prompts in creative ways.
On the 13th, Matthew Heiti was supposed to launch his novel, One Soft, Infested Summer (Latitude 46) at Knox Hall in Sudbury, but I arrived to find everyone milling on the sidewalk (!) There had been a gas leak, and the event had to be rescheduled.
I signed up for Tiffany Yates Martin’s “Specificity and Context” webinar offered through Jane Friedman on the 14th. I opted to watch the recording toward the end of the month. Excellent, as always.
Also on the 14th was “Exploring the Liminal space Between the Craft of Writing and the Business of Writing,” another Saskatchewan Writers’ Guild workshop with Chelene Knight. Excellent! Also, attendees were entered into a draw for free, three-month access to Chelene ’s invitation-only coaching space, The Forever Writers Apothecary. And I was invited! I’ve been wanting to work with Chelene ever since I started listening to her podcast (now ceased). I subscribed to her Substack as well. I’m hoping to make use of her guidance and tools in my quest to design a new creative-focused life, post-employment.
My big event of the month was Can-Con in Ottawa. I drove out on the 15th, attended the convention from the 16th to the 18th, and returned on the 19th.
Toxic Writing Relationships with Lance Marwood, Faye Gabriel, and moderated by Avi Silver was on Friday afternoon, right after the opening session. Avi emailed us in advance of the event, and, over the course of a few exchanges, we discovered that we were “a group of traumatized neurospicy creatures”! It was a vulnerable panel, to be sure, and our audience seemed to be into it!
On Saturday morning, I hosted the SF Canada Meet-up. Though I knew there were a few (more than five, less than ten) current SF Canada members at the con, only one of them showed up. The other four attendees were curious writers who wanted to know more about the organization. I hope we get some interest.
In the afternoon was my second panel, Killing/Saving Your Darlings with E.L. Chen, Ada Hoffmann, and moderated by Y.M. Pang. We had a quick-fire round of questions (e.g., have you ever … cut a character, a scene, etc.) that was fun and involved the audience, followed by a series of thought-provoking questions. Another great panel!
And I had a pitch session on Sunday morning. This is the first pitch session I’ve done in YEARS, and it went well!
Then, for the second year in a row, I attended Wild Ground Writers’ Writing on the Rocks Retreat from the 23rd to the 25th.
It was a wonderful, if short, and restorative weekend. We had an all-Sudbury crew this year, and everyone was a dedicated writer, whatever their genre. Again, the food was amazing, the company was excellent, and the environment was blissful. The loons sang to me on the first night! The trumpeter swans came back (and during the day, this time)! The moon was divine. And I got some solid writing and revision done.
I also received a great welcome gift including a selenite crystal, stickers, a fun knit headband that reminded me of Jughead’s crown, and a copy of Sue Monk Kidd’s Writing, Creativity, and Soul. Our host even had a weighted blanket for me!
I couldn’t ask for more.
On the 6th, I received a lovely pre-retirement package from a friend and now I have Derpys! And a lovely Hallowe’enie candle, a new escorpion journal, Kraft caramels (accept no substitutions), almendras fritas (fried almonds), and some nifty ND pins I wore at Can-Con. Several of the gifts came from my friend’s recent trip to Spain.
In health/personal care, I had a doctor’s appointment on the 7th, a follow on from my illness at the end of August/beginning of September, which resulted in a referral.
I had another restorative massage on the 21st. I was holding significantly more tension in my hips, shoulders, and neck thanks to the stressors of early October.
The same day, I received a birthday package from my friend. Another Derpy! Candles, Mackintosh toffee bars, stickers, an Indigo gift card, a raven pin, and moar journals! Mellie was happy.
My next therapy session was on the 22nd. I managed to defrag/process the first two weeks of October in record time, and we continued working with my values. There was a lot of rating involved, which I never know what to do with, but I have a new mindfulness/meditation technique to try out.
My support group met on the 28th. The topic this month was executive function.
What I’m watching and reading
The first film I watched in October was Castle in the Sky (Netflix). Sheeta has been abducted from her village by government agent Muska. The airship they’re in is attacked by Dola and her pirate gang who want the crystal pendant Sheeta wears. In the attack, Sheeta falls off the ship but is saved by the power of her pendant, which glows, gently lowering her into the arms of Pazu, an orphaned boy. Together, Sheeta and Pazu evade both the government and the pirates to find the fabled floating city of Laputa, which is what everyone is really after. Sweet and silly.
And the first series I finished watching was Stranger Things: Tales from ’85, season 2 (Netflix). It continues the story that started in season 1 with the same core characters. Minimal adult interference. Minimal older teen involvement. This season focused on a new, flowery threat that does tie into the Upside Down and the events of the first season and even reveals something about the history of Hawkins. Actually good!
Then, I watched Lanterns (HBO). It’s been described as True Detective with space cops, which is accurate. The core of the series is the mystery of who killed Hal Jordan in Rushville, Indiana in 2026, but most of the action is in Rushville in 2016, when Hal has been asked to train Jon Stewart, his replacement Green Lantern. There are further flashbacks to the childhoods of both lead characters. It’s grittier than you’d expect a DC series to be, but I think that works in its favour. I enjoyed it. It’s worth a watch.
Next, I watched Backrooms (Prime). I have come to realize I am not a horror fan in general, but I thought I’d give this one a try since it is spooky month. Clark owns a furniture store, for which he makes humiliating commercials dressed as a pirate. His wife has left him and he’s in therapy. He’s desperately unhappy because he’s made sacrifices for his wife (the furniture store) and is wondering when he’s going to get his turn to follow his dreams. He’s an asshole. One day, when an electrician comes to the store to investigate flickering lights and unusual power outages, Clark discovers a strange breaker on the panel. It’s just stuck at an angle below the regular breakers and doesn’t seem to do anything when flicked. But soon after, Clark discovers a section of the wall in the basement of his store that he can walk through. It leads to a bizarre, yellow-lit, endless building, kind of like an M.C. Escher painting. After trying to explain what he’s found to his therapist, he tricks his employees into going into the space with him, and horror ensues. He leaves a message for his therapist and tells her that he’s opened the door and he’s not coming back. The therapist, Mary, visits the furniture store, which appears to be abandoned. She finds her way into the backrooms and eventually finds Clark, who knocks her out and ties her up. She wakes up in a kitchen with Clark and three twisted non-people, which Clark says are the place’s attempts to remember the people who’ve visited it. He tries to complete his therapy with Mary, when a twisted pirate version of Clark shows up and starts to eat Clark. Mary tries to escape but ends up being rescued by a group of researchers who are trying to understand the backrooms. As Mary is “debriefed,” a twisted non-Mary appears in the backrooms. I’m glad I watched this in parts. I couldn’t handle more than 10 or 15 minutes at a time. Just freaky.
I finished watching the second season of The Librarians: The Next Chapter (CTV SciFi). The new team of librarians is still learning how to work together through a series of wacky adventures, including visits from original librarians Jacob and Cassandra, and the appearance of a magic-starved Merlin. The team slowly learns more about their individual strengths and weaknesses and begins to gel by the end of the season.
I queued up Get Out (Prime) to continue with the Hallowe’enie/horror theme. You’ve all already seen it (probably) and so I’ll just say that it is an excellent, atmospheric horror that comments on the Black experience in thought-provoking ways. Other movies and series have picked up on these themes, but none have executed them quite as well.
Then, Phil and I finished watching the final season of Bleach: The Thousand-Year Blood War (Disney +). The bankais are even more insane. Ichigo invokes all his hollow/arancar/soul reaper/quincy powers to become a chimera, but it still isn’t enough to defeat Yhwach. It looks like everyone is about to die and Yhwach will succeed in destroying the three worlds (human, soul society, and hecho mundo). Phil lost interest partway through but came back for the finale. The final episode/denouement set up the next series, which I hear they’re already working on.
Next, I watched Disclosure Day (Prime). While the reviews are generally positive, and Emily Blunt’s performance has been praised, some critics have pointed out that the film doesn’t really engage with the current state of the world and relies on a kind of Pollyanna view that human compassion and simply listening are all we need to challenge and defeat the world’s ills. While I tend to agree with the critics, I still enjoyed the film.
Finally, I watched the live action Moana (Disney +). Nothing really new here if you’ve seen the animated original. Yes, there are some new songs, and they’re good. It was nice to see human actors playing the roles. The climactic scene where Moana returns Te Fiti’s heart was well done. Watched it in one sitting on Hallowe’en and enjoyed it very much.
My first listen of the month was The Galaxy, and the Ground Within by Becky Chambers, the fourth in her Wayfarers series. The Five-Hop One-Stop, the spacer equivalent of a truck stop, is on the baren planet of Gora, whose small population lives in a series of domes, and is run by laru Ouloo and her teen child Tupo. Ouloo makes it her business to make everyone who comes to the Five-Hop feel welcome. Three ships arrive to refuel and rest before continuing on to their various destinations. Aeluon Pei is a military cargo runner and is on her way to see her lover Ashby, the human captain of the Wayfarer (the tie-in to the first novel). Speaker and Tracker are Akarak twin sisters and traders who specialize in finding needful things for their far-flung and planetless people. Roveg is a quelin exile and sim creator who is on his way to a very important appointment. When the satellite network around the planet suffers a catastrophic and cascading failure, the travellers are stranded together and forced to face various personal and interpersonal conflicts. Still loving this series!
Then, I listened to A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking by T. Kingfisher. Mona is a baker, and a wizard with a very specific talent: she works with bread. She can encourage dough to rise, keep the scones from burning, and make gingerbread men dance. She has a sourdough starter named Bob, who eats more than flour and water. She was just trying to keep him from dying and ended up imbuing Bob with her magic. Mona walks into her aunt’s bakery early one morning to find the body of a girl about her age. When the inquisitor accuses Mona of the murder and drags her away for trial, Mona’s troubles are only beginning. Brilliant!
I then took my usual audiobook break to catch up on It’s Storytime with Wil Wheaton.
I finished reading Dangerous Memory: Coming of Age in the Decade of Greed by Charlie Angus. I’ve been subscribed to Charlie’s The Resistance Substack since he started publishing it. He’s one of my trusted sources for Canadian political news (along with Rachel Gilmore). For the American perspective, I rely on Heather Cox Richardson, Rebecca Solnit, and, interestingly, author Connie Willis. Wordstock brought Charlie into Sudbury to discuss his book earlier this year. You know I was there and enjoyed the discussion and reading immensely. I also got a signed copy of the book.
In his introduction, Charlie (lets face it, he’s the guy you want to have a beer with, hence Charlie, not Angus, or the author) offers up the genesis of the book’s title: “Theology professor Candace McLean at the University of Portland explains, ‘Dangerous memories … are the subversive memories of the victims of history …. They are dangerous to those in positions of power because they are the seeds of resistance and change … and hope to the marginalized.’” While drawn largely from his own experiences as a punk rock anarchist in the band L’etranger and later co-owner of Angelus House, a Catholic Worker House in the Parkdale area of Toronto, Charlie’s stories interweave with the socio-political shifts of the 80s, shifts that have led us to the current moment. Everyone should read this book. It will change the way you see the world.
Then, I listened to Ancillary Sword by Ann Leckie (Imperial Radch 2) on the way out to Can-Con. At the end of book 1, Breq confronted the Lord of the Radch and discovered that she was at war with herself. The version of the Lord Breq reluctantly helped was at odds with the version of the Lord that ordered the Justice of Toren—the warship that Breq is the only remnant of—to commit genocide and then ordered it to kill its captain and self-destruct when its captain refused to complete the mission.
Now, Breq, newly promoted to fleet captain of the Mercy of Calla, is at Athoek Station, trying to protect the station and planet while the war between the Lords of the Radch rages on, destroying gates and isolating worlds. But Breq has a mission of her own, to make amends to the only living relative of the captain she was forced to kill. Athoek—the station and planet, both—has troubles of its own, though. Breq must address abuse, slavery, and human trafficking. There’s also a ghost gate nearby and the rumours are that an alien threat powerful enough to defeat the Empire lurks on the other side of it. An excellent continuation of the series.
I finished reading The Dragonfly Gambit by A.D. Sui while I was in Kanata. Once, Nez, Kaya, and Shay were inseparable friends (and lovers) recruited from their system into the Imperial military of the Rule. Then, that same empire made them participate in the destruction of their homeworlds. Nez, a brilliant fighter pilot, was critically injured in a battle Kaya survived and now she wastes away, dreaming of revenge. Ennis, Third Daughter of the Rule with only months left to live, pulls Nez from obscurity to help her improve the performance of the remaining fighter pilots and win the Rule’s never-ending war decisively. This novel deals with many of the same themes as Leckie’s Imperial Radch series and adds in queer themes and disability to the mix. I see why this novella was an award-winner.
And, on the way back, I listened to the Audible Original production of Bram Stoker’s Dracula. An interesting adaptation. Van Helsing is a woman! Great voice performances give this classic tale new life.
Finally, I listened to Ancillary Mercy the third in the Imperial Radch series by Ann Leckie. I’d actually purchased this audiobook on sale before I started listening to Ancillary Sword, so that’s why I haven’t returned to my other series before completing this one.
Fleet Captain Breq and the crew of the Mercy of Calla are overseeing repairs to the under garden and the reordering of Athoek Station administration after the events of the last novel. Then, an ancillary of a 3,000-year-old ship hiding on the other side of the ghost gate with a bone to pick with the Lord of the Radch shows up, the replacement of the Presger translator who was killed in the last novel arrives, and Anaander Mianaai, the faction of the Lord of the Radch who destroyed Justice of Toren and now wants to finish the job, gates into the system with multiple Swords under her command. Breq should run, but that would mean leaving the citizens of Athoek—both Station and planet—to the questionable mercies of the tyrant, and that is something Breq cannot abide. A great, but open-ended conclusion to the trilogy.
And that was the month in this writer’s life.
Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!
I acknowledge with respect that I am in Robinson-Huron Treaty territory, that the land from which I write is the traditional territory of the Anishinaabe and home of Atikameksheng Anishnawbek and Wahnapitae First Nation.
