Introvert is me

/ Melanie Marttila

quite-bookI just finished reading Susan Cain’s Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking, and I have to say that it’s changed my life.

I “knew” I was introverted.  I’d seen my results on various Myers-Briggs (and derivative) tests.  I knew I liked to be alone and that I felt really awkward in social settings.  I knew that while I’m a good trainer, that I always felt exhausted afterward.  I just didn’t feel the truth of what being an introvert meant, for me anyway, until I read Cain’s book.

Cain opened my eyes to who and what and introvert is and can be.

When I was a kid, my mom had to stop sending me to my room as a punishment.  I liked it too much 🙂  I’d just get a book, or start playing on my own.  When I was a kid, I compensated for my introversion by being giggly and obnoxious.  Friendships tended to wound rather than comfort.

Now I totally get where I feel my power, why I’m so happy with Phil, and why I’ve been writing since I was seven years old.

Even if you’re not an introvert, if you love someone who is, I’d encourage reading Quiet.  It really is an incredible book.

Writing is the ideal calling for an introvert

A couple of articles for you:

http://theintrinsicwriter.wordpress.com/2013/06/04/are-all-writers-introverts/

http://www.forbes.com/sites/katelee/2012/11/02/susan-cain-on-writing-as-an-introvert/

Just this past week, Porter Anderson posted on Writer Unboxed about the myth of the lonely writer.

http://writerunboxed.com/2013/08/16/are-you-lonesome-tonight-the-dreaded-solitude-of-writing/

Not that all writers have to be introverts.  I’m sure there are many who are not (and I know several of them).  I just think that the writing part of the writing life is easier on us.  It’s the promotional work that’s going to be the killer 😛

In the past few months, I’ve also started following Space 2 Live, a blog on introversion by Brenda Knowles.

Here’s her lovely video: The space we need.

Are you an introvert? An extrovert? Is your partner the same or the opposite?  Do you have introverted children?  The dynamics are potentially endless and every relationship is unique.

I’d love to hear from you.

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14 thoughts on “Introvert is me”

  1. I read Quiet and saw Susan Cain’s TED Talk, both are very insightful. What’s interesting is I have always stated that I’m an introvert and my wife would not believe me. She is definitely and extroverted personality but after reading a few passages from this book, she’s starting to believe me and find some introverted tendencies within herself. It is a great book and a great post!

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  2. I adored that book too Melanie! I’m trying to get my partner to read it so that he won’t be so hurt when I say, “I love you now PLEASE be quiet!!” I’m taking it to my Mom to read this week. And I’ll give her permission to pass it on to Sandy when she’s done.

    Great post.

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    • Thanks, Sue. I married an introvert, but of a decidedly different variety. He’s Mr. Science, and I’m the Artiste 🙂 He still has to come into my office while I’m working periodically to scam a kiss, though. I can’t hold it against him. It’s so sweet 😉

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  3. Thank you for sharing my little introvert film. The introvert experience is getting lots of press and newfound awareness thanks to Susan Cain. Despite our loner stereotype, it’s nice to know we are not alone in our need for low stimulation and quiet.
    Writing is the perfect vocation for introverts. So much observing, analyzing, concentrating and delicious solitude involved.:)
    I’ve always been fascinated by what’s inside people. Learning about the nature of introverts should keep me in awe forever.
    P.S. I also spent hours alone in my room as a child. I wish someone would send me to my room now.;)

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    • I do think your film is lovely. Very straightforward and heartfelt without being maudlin 😉
      Thanks for stopping by, Brenda.
      And my favourite place in my room? My closet! Had a little fort in there under the hanging clothes 🙂

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  4. I’m an introvert all the way but that doesn’t make me a dark character or a dark writer as many people imagine. In my writing and my blogging I’m free to be the complete opposite if I wish, I just don’t have to worry about the proximity to others. I refer to myself as antisocial though I’m really not, it’s a case of being uncomfortable in social situations and wishing myself elsewhere.
    xxx Hugs xxx

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    • The interwebz are great for that 🙂 I’ve always maintained that I come off better in writing than I do in person. That’s changed a bit over the years, as the job has encouraged me to become a good actor (it’s only acting!) but I still recognize that my extroverted side is a mask I wear. I’m happiest at home.

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  6. Glad you enjoyed the book. It’s so refreshing to read something validating like that, isn’t it?

    I’m one of those who, when asked what I’m doing this weekend, will often say ‘nothing’ (aka I’m recharging at home) and it baffles my extroverted counterparts. The few who say “oh, that’s great!” are the ones with whom I’m more likely to connect. 🙂

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    • It really is a revelation, Vikki. And it helped me understand so much about myself, my spouse, and several of my friends. Even if you’re not an innie yourself, the book has lots of insight to offer. Thanks for stopping by, dear 🙂

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