Old Crow

The next chapter: February 2026 update

/ Melanie Marttila / Leave a comment

Thawing out and waking up

A sky with windswept clouds.

Life in general

I started February off with a week of leave, ‘cause I always take the week of Imbolc off. Winter is tough with perma-grey skies and sub-zero temperatures and I’m like that meme asking, “Why do I live in a place where the air hurts my face?” Look it up. Have a chuckle.

This week off in early February is the first of two resets to my system. In February, the light feels like it’s just starting to come back, though it’s been rebounding since the winter solstice. It’s a seasonal need to bring myself out of seasonal affective disorder (SAD) territory.

But I needed it more this year because January was hell in multiple ways and I’m trying to sit in the uncertainty of workforce adjustment (WFA) and not panic and calmly gather the information I need to make a decision. That the decision doesn’t need to be made until March 26th doesn’t really help. It just prolongs the agony.

Part of me wants the time between now and March 26th to collapse, so I can submit my form and find out what happens next. My efforts to get the answers I feel I need to make an informed decision have been met with a wall of “we don’t know.” The closest I’ve been able to learn about how long I will continue to work after making my decision is that management commits to working closely with human resources, the pay centre, and the pension centre to ensure that every employee has “enough” time to make all the necessary arrangements prior to departure. Whatever “enough” means …

Listing some smol victories to help me feel more person-like in this weird and dysregulating moment:

  • I managed to avoid a full case of sinusitis over the fall/winter of 2025!
  • My eczema finally responded to the ointment. Only three months before the last bits of leathery, discoloured skin came away from the knuckle.
  • Coming up on a year after its expiry, I finally got new passport pictures taken so I can submit my passport renewal form (!) Thanks to my friends who agreed to serve as references. Also, mailing the application (thanks to Phil for taking it to the post office for me). I have no imminent travel planned and don’t want to brave the less-than-safe downtown to submit in person.
  • I got a new set of Bluetooth earbuds (Flare Studio Pro), and I figured out how to unpair my old ones (which I’m keeping as a backup set) and paired the new ones. Feeling competent!
  • I got appointments made (see Filling the well for deets)! Appointments were met! Things got done!
  • I’ve been slowly walking back my bedtime to a reasonable hour!
  • I’ve been listening to my body/mind and adjusting accordingly!

Signs of recovery, in my humble opinion.

The hits kept coming, though. On the 10th, a mass shooting incident second only to École Polytechnique occurred in the small community of Tumbler Ridge, BC. The news made waves across Canada and beyond.

Misinformation ran rampant in the following days, right wingnuts glomming onto the fact that the shooter was a trans woman. It was a time for community healing and support, not to spread malicious hate speech on social media.

I’ve been sticking to the coverage of The Walrus, The Tyee, and Rachel Gilmour and avoid inflammatory rhetoric online.

At work, I was assigned a new project, but a week later, the client informed us that internal reorganization meant the project would be shelved. Though I hadn’t done a lot of work, it felt like the work I’d done was wasted. Surprisingly, I was not further dysregulated by this change of priorities. I didn’t really care, which may have something to do with other things happening at work that really put the day-to-day into perspective.

Then I was assigned the task of reviewing a draft e-learning course. It took me two days to get an updated link to the course and just as I was running through the course for the first time, I was asked to observe the pilot delivery of another course in development from 10 to 2 Monday and Tuesday the following week.

So, I cleared the decks of other obligations.

But the 4-hour-a-day for 2 days course turned into 5-hours-a-day for 3 days. I hadn’t planned for that and couldn’t pivot further. I’d forgotten how demanding training was and I was already considering a day off …

When, on the 27th, we had another meeting about the WFA process. There were now tentative timeframes, nothing confirmed, and everything subject to change. The TL;DR of it is, those opting into voluntary departure are to leave as soon as possible, and I now had an idea of the worst case scenario, which will be financially destabilizing, especially considering we’ve already been told transition payments and separation monies may not be issued in a timely manner, depending on how many people are leaving at any given time.

There is a possibility that some of us might be kept on longer, which would be better for me, but it’s dependent on business cases and the approval of our ADM, which again, we have no guarantee of.

So, more information, sure, but a lot more uncertainty, too.

I took that afternoon and the next day off to process, regulate, and try to find away forward. Phil’s still being reassuring, but I am not reassured.

The month in writing

I started the month still in the no-write zone.

But by the end of the second week, I started writing a new flash piece for an upcoming submission call. The deadlines I was working toward with the other two pieces of short fiction flew by, and so I no longer felt the urgency to revise them. I’ll get back to them, though.

I also registered for The Karen Gansel Short Fiction Contest through the Canadian Authors Association. This was a bit of a risk, as the contest involved writing to a prompt issued March 1st and the contest deadline would be March 14th. Check back next month to see how this experiment went.

I also got back to writing some poetry.

Baby steps.

On the 20th, the Sudbury launch of SuperCanucks was announced. It will be on Saturday, March 21, 2026, at the main branch of the Greater Sudbury Public Library (74 Mackenzie St.) from 1 to 3 pm!

Promotional card for the SuperCanucks launch.

On the 23rd, my review of Shani Mootoo’s Starry Starry Night was published in the Seaboard Review of Books!

The cover of Shani Mootoo's Starry Starry Night.

And the month ended back in the no-write zone, as it started, because WFA shenanigans.

Filling the well

The full bear moon in Leo was on Imbolc/February 1st. The generally overcast sky meant no moon pics or sightings, but I lit my altar as I tried to come to terms with the changes entering my life.

The new rowan moon in Aquarius was on the 17th. This was also the start of the Chinese New Year and year of the fire horse. As an earth rooster, I’m going to embrace the energy and change of the year of the horse to try to develop resilience and find balance.

I attended the online launch of Fairylore, by Brittany Warman and Sara Cleto (of the Carterhaugh School) on the 10th. It was fabulous and Terri Windling, who is herself fabulous, sent a pre-recorded message of support. I wouldn’t receive the book, which I pre-ordered, until the 19th. Grrrrr …

On the 11th, Jessica Strawser presented “What Do Your Characters Want?” through Jane Friedman. I watched the replay, because work. Not a lot of new information here, but good reinforcement, nonetheless.

Also on the 11th, I signed up for SFF book recommendations with Elizabth Bear and the Ashland Publish Library. Some of the books, I’ve already read, many I hadn’t, though, and now I have even more fodder for the TBR monster!

Back in October, I had signed up for the League of Canadian Poets Fall Poetry Intensive. Unfortunately, It fell on the same weekend as the Writing on the Rocks retreat and though I could have tried to attend, I decided not to. Recordings were promised. I finally received the recordings on February 17th (!) and am slowly working my way through them.

Finally, on the 25th, I signed up for a free workshop, “Fix Your Novel – The Top 5 Problems and How to Fix Them,” presented by Emily and Rachel of Golden May. I found this through my subscription to Kristen Keiffer’s newsletter. She’s a neurodivergent writer and book coach and it turns out that Rachel is ND too. Again, nothing revelatory, but a good webinar nonetheless.

And that’s it for writerly events.

I had my annual doctor’s checkup by phone on the 4th. Five minutes later, I had my annual referrals for insurance and a requisition for bloodwork.

Also on the 4th, I attended a union information session on the WFA process. No new information, really, but every iteration cements a few more things in my brain.

On the 7th, I took my mom to the hairdresser and she managed the steps! Potential good news: our hairdresser may be moving to a more accessible house later in the year.

On the 13th, I had bloodwork done as requested by my doctor.

The 14th was Torvi’s slightly overdue touch up service at Petsmart. My girl was in her mid-winter coat blow, and I’d been plucking handfuls of hair off her daily for weeks, but she was still a shaggydog. Like SHAGGYDOG! The groomer took Torvi into the back room and used the handheld blow dryer to get the worst of the loose hair off and finished with a brushing on the table. I wish I’d had the foresight to take before and after pictures. The transformation was startling!

My dog Torvi, all curled up on her bed in the living room.
But here’s one of a tuft-free Torvi curled up on her bed after walkies.

On the 19th, I had my next therapy appointment. I had considered booking an extra, emergency session when I was informed of the WFA, but I didn’t feel the legitimate need for emotional support. I got that from Phil, Mom, my coworkers, and my friends. What I needed was more information.

The appointment was incredibly affirming, though, and we even got another values domain conquered. Only two more to go.

Finally, my support group met on the 25th to discuss burnout and energy management. Good session.

Finally, I brought wine and take out to a friend’s and kept her up way too late chatting about all the things.

What I’m watching and reading

Phil and I watched Wonder Man (Disney +). This superpowered bromance between Simon Williams and Trevor Slattery was a fun critique of Hollywood. Simon is comic-accurate in his unlikability, but the show roots that in a deep insecurity and love for the craft of acting. After being cut from American Horror Story for being too “high maintenance,” Simon meets Trevor at a movie and the two bond. Trevor casually drops that he’s auditioning for the Von Kovak remake of Wonder Man, a movie Simon loved as a child. Simon wrangles himself an audition at the last minute. This is the role he was born to play.

Secretly, Trevor has made a deal with Agent Cleary of the Department of Damage Control (DoDC) to obtain evidence of Simon’s dangerous superpowers so he can stay out of prison. The DoDC has prisons to fill and a government to appease and agents are being fired if they fail to “produce.” And Simon, who does have dangerous powers, is desperate to keep them hidden because for the “Doorman Clause,” the explanation of which only enhances the series’ charm. Of course, things do not go as planned (!) One of the best Marvel series to come out since Loki.

Then, we watched the second season of Fallout (Prime). Coop’s backstory continues to trickle through the episodes as he and Lucy make their way to Vegas. Coop just wants to find his family, while Lucy is more interested in bringing her dad, Hank, to justice. When they get there their goals clash and Coop does Lucy dirty. Max tries to reform the Brotherhood of Steel from within, but when that fails, goes on the run with his old squire Thaddeus, now a ghoul, in search of Lucy. And Lucy’s brother Norm, trapped in Vault 31, revives the cryogenically frozen Vault-Tec executives and pretends to be their manager. Tensions between Vaults 32 and 33 rise over a water shortage. Next season promises a battle royale as the Brotherhood, the New California Republic Army, and the Legion converge on Vegas. Stephanie (Hank’s secret wife?!) launches Phase 2, whatever that is. Hank erases his memory, Lucy and Max reunite, and Coop is on his way to Colorado. A wild ride in a fun universe.

Next, I watched The Muppet Show (ABC). This 50th anniversary special is the latest revival of the original sketch comedy and appears to be a one-off, or maybe a proof-of-concept for a true return of the show. Regardless, this was a true return to form and the show was fabulous. I hope they do bring it back. Everyone needs more Muppets in their lives (from a diehard Muppet maniac)!

Interestingly, Wil Wheaton said pretty much the same thing (about needing more Muppets in our lives) on Threads! I’m in amazing company, there!

Then, I watched Predator: Badlands (Disney +). Back in the wayback, I’d watched the first couple of Predator movies but became disenchanted when the Predator vs. Alien movies started. I’d wanted to check this out after hearing good things about it from various people I follow online. They were right! It was awesome!

Dek is a younger son of his clan leader, Njohrr, who considers him a runt. Njohrr orders Dek’s brother, Kwei to kill him, but Kwei refuses, and fights Njohrr, shoving Dek into his ship, and triggering the ship to take Dek to Genna, where he can prove himself by hunting the Kalisk, which even Njohrr fears. Trapped in the ship, Dek watches helplessly while Njohrr defeats and then executes Kwei before the rapid departure of the ship incapacitates him.

Dek is rudely awakened when the ship crash lands on Genna and he rapidly loses all his gear as the flora and fauna of Genna trounce him repeatedly and thoroughly. During one battle, Thea, a Weyland-Yutani synth offers to help Dek and proves herself by saving him. Then, they befriend a mischievous young alien they call Bud.

That’s all I’ll say, though I’m sure most of you have caught this one by now. A story about found family, and healing from toxic family dynamics. I’m encourage to check out Prey, which has been similarly praised. Look forward to that in the future.

A note moving forward: I will specify whether the book I finish is a listen (audiobook) or a read (e-book or print book) from here out.

My first listen of February was Tananarive Due’s The Reformatory. This work of historical horror is based on the true story of a relative of Due’s. Twelve-year-old Robert Stevens Jr. is sentenced to six months in the Gracetown School for Boys after kicking the son of a rich, white landowner who was harassing his sister, Gloria. Their mother died years before and their father was forced to flee because he tried to organize a union, leaving Gloria and Robbie in the care of elderly Miss Lottie. Robbie can see haints, a comfort after his mother’s death, and Gloria sometimes sees premotions of people’s futures. When Robbie is sent to the reformatory, the superintendent sees in Robbie’s gift a way to rid himself of the ghosts of the boys he’s killed in the past. Meanwhile, Gloria does everything she can to get her brother released before he suffers the fate of so many Black boys sent to the reformatory before him. Can Robbie survive or will he become another haint bound to the cruelty of the Gracetown School for Boys? Eerie and excellent.

After that, I took a break from audiobooks and caught up on some Audible podcasts, starting with “It’s Storytime with Wil Wheaton.” Some fabulous short fiction, including a number of Canadian authors, all read in Wheaton’s wonderful voice. Since this is an ongoing podcast, I’ll listen to new episodes between future audiobooks.

A note about Audible podcasts: I do not like the default play mode for podcasts. It recycles the same 5 episodes from the current year/season, and I must manually intervene to play episodes in the order they were released. A true pain. Later on in the month, I discovered that listening to the episodes does not necessarily mark them as finished. So, I marked the ones I’d already listened to as finished and listening seemed to progress more easily from there on, though I’d still have to stop the podcast, manually mark the episode I’d already heard as finished AGAIN, and proceed.

Then, I finished reading John Scalzi’s short story (novelette?) 3 Days, 9 Months, 27 Years, his contribution to the Time Travellers Passport collection. The title of the story refers to the resonance intervals at which it’s possible for time travel tourists to return from their journeys. Scalzi’s narrator is the technician operating the time machine, sending people back to significant moments in history, their own pasts, and pre-human eras. What makes this kind of time trave unique is that each trip to the past spawns an alternate reality that will never affect the originating timeline. Of course, there’s a twist, and it’s devastating. Highly recommend!

Next, I read The Autistic’s Guide to Self-Discovery by Sol Stein. While most of the information in this book was not new to me, the context, and Stein’s delivery (read snarky footnotes, of which I’m a fan) was helpful. Stein also offers a process to recognize and address rumination that I really appreciated.

Then, I finished reading Martha Wells’ “Home,” a short story in the Murderbot universe. Told from Mensah’s point of view, the story covers her attempts to resolve the bureaucratic and political fallout of the events of Exit Strategy, when she, Murderbot, and the rest of the team return to Preservation Alliance. One of the bureaucratic hurdles? Murderbot’s status as a sentient being. As good as the rest of the series, despite its brevity.

I also finished reading R.F. Kuang’s Making Space, her contribution to the Time Traveler’s Passport. Jess, once disinterested in having children and then traumatized by years of unsuccessful attempts to conceive with her husband, finds a boy, naked and wounded, in a nearby forest. When the social worker she contacts is overwhelmed and unable to place the boy while she searches for his family, Jess volunteers to foster him. He will not offer his name or any information about himself, and Jess’s husband facetiously calls him Buddy. When Buddy finally reveals his secret, Jess learns just how far she’s willing to go to protect herself and Buddy. A fraught tale about fertility, women’s autonomy, and the burden of choosing to bring a child into a world beset by political turmoil and climate disaster. And time travel, as the series title suggests.

Then, I read Premee Mohamed’s The Butcher of the Forest. When the Tyrant King’s children wander into the Elmever, he summons Veris Thorn, the only woman to have rescued a child from the forest and lived. Being a tyrant, the King commands Veris to retrieve his children — alive — and sends his warriors to guard her home and elderly relatives. If she does not return with the children, not only her family, but her entire village will be put to the flame. Thus begins Veris’s odyssey into the deadly and enchanted Elmever, where nothing is as it seems. But the denizens of the Elmever have long memories. They know Veris and what she has done. It will cost her dearly to escape the forest’s clutches a second time. Eerily fantastic.

The next Audible podcast I listened to was Stephen Fry’s Edwardian Secrets. I’d listened to Secrets of the Roaring 20s a few years ago and enjoyed it. I seem to be listening to them in reverse chronological order (!) Interesting insights into the less well-known aspects of the period from Edward himself, through the suffragette movement, to human sexuality, and more. Very good.

I progressed to Stephen Fry’s Victorian Secrets and learned about women detectives, murder, gay, trans, and lesbian love, spiritualism, and Sherlock Holmes and his creator Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

I acknowledge with respect that I am in Robinson-Huron Treaty territory, that the land from which I write is the traditional territory of the Anishinaabe and home of Atikameksheng Anishnawbek and Wahnapitae First Nation.

The next chapter: A month in the writerly life. https://melaniemarttila.ca

Can-Con, October 17 to 19, 2025

/ Melanie Marttila / 1 Comment

A post-con report

A stylized C that looks like a planet with a ring with the word Can-Con below.

This year, Can-Con moved to a new venue, the Brookstreet Hotel. It was a beautiful event space and the hotel had all the amenities and then some.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

I booked both Friday the 17th and Monday the 20th off work. In hindsight, I should have booked the Thursday as well and given myself some extra time to drive out, settle in, relax, and prepare. I’ll have to remember to do that, next year. And yes, I’ve already registered for next year’s convention.

Friday morning, my intention was to take off at 10 am, arrive around 4 pm, check in, and then attend the opening session at 5.

Unfortunately, my body decided to delay my departure until 11 am. I also had to top up the gas tank and grab a caramel toffee cold brew from Tim Horton’s before I could zoom.

One thing I finally figured out on my September trip to London was how to properly use Google Maps (!) Fun fact: I am weirdly selective about learning how to use technology.

The journey was uneventful. And beautiful!

There’s this point on Highway 17 between Mattawa and Deux Rivières where the road crests a hill and you get your first site of the Laurentians. It was particularly breathtaking on the 17th. Most of the surface was covered in pine and spruce, but there were vibrant patches of gold (birch and poplar) edged in orange and red (oak and maple). The cloud was low and scudded over the worn tops of the mountains.

I couldn’t stop to take a photo, but I wrote a poem about it afterward.

A picture of the Murderbot? Murderbot! panel.

Because of my delayed start, I didn’t arrive until after 5 pm. I checked into the Brookstreet, parked, resolved an issue with my key card, dropped everything off at my room, and headed down to catch one of the panels before mine.

The Art of Rest panel was a lot of fun. I discovered that one of the other panelists is also from Sudbury (!) Many thanks to moderator Kaitlin (KT) Caul for organizing a great panel experience and to Nina Nesseth for being a great co-panelist. It was among the last panels on Friday night.

After, the lot of us migrated to Options, the hotel’s jazz lounge, and I enjoyed a late supper and their signature cocktail, the paper plane. Lovely. Again, much fun was had.

The cover of Years Best Canadian Fantasy and Science Fiction, Volume 3.

After a morning swim and breakfast, I attended panels all day on Saturday, as well as an unsuccessful pitch session (the publisher and I were hopelessly mismatched), and the launch of Year’s Best Canadian Fantasy and Science Fiction, Volume 3, in which my poem “Vasilisa” was reprinted.

While I was moving between panels, I met several SF Canada members and other friends, including Andy Taylor, who shared some fabulous news. The anthology my next piece of short fiction will be published in, Super Canucks, had a cover! It won’t be published until March 2026, but it’s up on the Latitude 46 site! Pre-orders are open!

SuperCanucks: An anthology of Canadian small-town superheroes

Highlights from Saturday:

After a long day of panels, I treated myself to a solitary supper at the Perspectives restaurant. Compressed melon salad, summer vegetable and truffle risotto, and a limoncello tartufo. Heaven!

On Sunday, I treated myself to another morning swim before breakfast. I attended even more panels, and the launch of Cait Gordon’s Speculative Shorts: Stories That Fell Out of My Brain.

My second panel, “The Taste of Sadness: Writing Emotional Dysregulation” was in the last time slot of the convention and was another great experience. I may have babbled a bit, but everyone else on the panel stepped in and we all made each other look good. Gratitude to moderator Gregory A. Wilson and panelists Deanna Valdez and Sienna Tristen for making my second panel a memorable one.

Highlights from Sunday:

After, I walked the convention space as the panelists and exhibitors packed up and departed.

Then, in a different mood from the night before, I opted for a burger and fries with a caramel apple crisp for dessert at Perspectives. The apple crisp is to die for, folks.

I opted to stay over Sunday night and drive back in the morning after one final swim and a full breakfast.

I’ve attended several Can-Cons over the years, but this was my first as a panellist. It was a fabulous experience and, as I said off the top, I’ve already registered for next year. I hope to get on another panel (or two) and maybe organize an SF Canada meet and greet/networking event/membership drive.

We’ll see what happens.

As ever, I’ll let you know how it all works out.

The next chapter: December 2024 update

/ Melanie Marttila

Settling into recovery mode … (cue olde-timey modem squealing)

Picture of the quarter moon above a tree.

Life in general

The illen settled in, but I hadn’t yet gotten headaches, facial pain, or any of that ilk, so I continued on with the neti-pot, Emergen-C, and Advil Cold & Sinus. If things got worse, I figured I’d go to the clinic as I’d done in the past and see what came of it.

If I made it through to my January doctor’s appointment (not my preference—I really didn’t want to be sick over the holidays) I’d see what he’d say about it.

In the meantime, I’m trying to take care as best I know how. Staying hydrated, eating well, getting as much sleep as I can, though I rarely get the sleep I need during the work week. And that’s the blessing and curse of working from home. I can still work while I’m sick without exposing anyone else to what I’ve caught, but sinus infections aren’t contagious, per se.

There was work to be done, though, and so work I did.

I sought the advice of a pharmacist who recommended Cold FX. So, I tried that out. I thought the illen was too far advanced for it to help but combined with meds to reduce symptoms and the irrigation of the neti-pot, it seemed to help with sleeping through the night. I also added hot toddies in the evening (tea with honey and rum). I’m pulling out all the old home remedies and supports I can.

And…toward the end of the month, after some narsty nights plagued with coughing—more the result of stubborn snot clinging to my airways and turning my throat into some bizarre mucus air harp (wheeze, whistle, gurgle) than anything else—I finally managed to sleep through the night.

Things seemed to be turning the corner in a positive direction.

I’ve discovered that if I have anything other than work scheduled on a weekday evening, be it a critique group meeting, support group meeting, haircut, taking Torvi to get her nails ground—anything, I’m out of spoons for the day.

I’m trying to respect my energy levels, day to day, and I’m learning that my executive function and support needs also vary daily. What I was once able to do easily, I may now struggle with. It’s a difficult lesson to learn.

Thank…whatever, I have some time off over the holidays.

The month in writing

Getting back into writing mode is an iffy proposition. I worked on some edits for a short story early in the month and that seemed to go well.

I wrote a poem. Not sure of its quality, but it felt good in the writing.

But when it came to Reality Bomb, the going was tough. I got back to it on the 9th but managed maybe half a page. Still, I touched it!

The next day, I had an appointment after work and my Dispatches meeting, so I wasn’t able to get to RB.

I did a little more work on it the next evening, but the following two days were challenging at work, and I had no energy to speak of in the evenings. I also had a sneezing fit (one every 10 to 15 seconds for about a half hour) the first night and that took all the fight out of me. The second night it was coughing fits over the course of an hour, which aggravated my GERD. I’m sure both helped to usher out infection (it’s what they do, after all) but both were exhausting and not conducive to trying to write (or do anything else).

But I finally finished rewriting the troublesome chapter I started working on last month and moved on with my re-read. I finished that in a couple of evenings, with minor touch-ups.

When I got back to the drafting of the final two chapters, though, I stalled again, but just for a couple of days while I was focusing on recovery, finishing up the Christmassing, and doing some associated running around.

The going was slow, but I got back to it.

Along with preparing my application to the Banff Centre for Arts & Creativity SFF Program, and some grant applications.

Something I neglected to mention last month was that an old friend of Siobhan Riddell reached out to me and offered to send me one of the sketches she’d done for him. I couldn’t justify accepting one of his remembrances, but I did accept a couple of pictures. They’re lovely.

This has happened periodically over the years, and it gives me all the feels to know that Siobhan’s wondrous work has touched other people as deeply (or deeper, frankly) as it’s touched me.

Then, I received some news about Through the Portal. Apparently, their website was down, but it’s back up and running again.

And they are planning two in-person events for the anthology, both in Toronto. One was on December 28th and the other in February 2025. I can’t participate in either, so I’ve been kept out of the loop on the publicity.

I received an opportunity mid-month to submit my work to the poetry in Canada poetry bookshelf. I’ll let you know when The Art of Floating makes its appearance.

There was an SF Canada board meeting on the 3rd to prepare for the upcoming AGM. It was an efficient meeting, and all the necessary decisions and arrangements were made.

The AGM itself was scheduled for the 28th. There were a few technical issues and delays, but everything worked out in the end.

The year in review

This has been a momentous year for me in terms of writing. My debut poetry collection! All the promo and signings and reviews and events around that! More poetry publications! A cli-fi short story publication! Another acceptance of a poem and a short story for future publication!

Given that I’ve been in burnout since September, that’s not bad!

In terms of words written or revised in the year, I:

  • wrote only 1,553 words of short fiction and revised 187 (that I tracked),
  • wrote 3,232 words of creative non-fiction,
  • wrote 28 new poems, and
  • wrote 39,059 words in this blog/newsletter.

I stopped tracking my revision efforts on Reality Bomb partway through the year. It was getting complicated. But if things progress as they have been, I should finish with a 120k-word draft. I’d wanted to bring it down more than that, but I still have a listening pass to go, and hope to find a few more places to trim then.

In writing-related events, my ongoing, though stalled, work with Suzy Vadori, and the Stillwater Writing Retreat are highlights.

In retrospect, though I took my six-week, self-funded leave as a means to recover from the flurry of activity around the launch of The Art of Floating, I now recognize that I was probably anticipating burnout even then. I could not have anticipated the accidents and illnesses of either my mom or my mom-in-law, but I could probably feel the impending exhaustion.

I’m grateful I took the leave and that my employer offers the work arrangement, but it means that I won’t be able to take another until the latter part of 2025.

At work, I was able to accept an acting position as an instructional designer on a new team, and though the transition has been a bit fraught, things are finally coming together on the one major project.

In terms of reading, I set myself the goal of reading 50 books this year. In fact, I’ve read or listened to 93 books, 186% of my goal. Admittedly, reading several poetry collections, a fair amount of short non-fiction, and listening to audiobooks helped to increase the number of books I read this year, I still outpaced my goal by quite a bit. And I’ve read a bunch of books that I wouldn’t normally.

Filling the well

The new Reed moon in Sagittarius was on December 1st.

The full moon in Gemini was on the 15th.

Winter solstice fell on the 21st. Did my altar thing.

And the new Elder moon in Capricorn was on the 30th. I know the second full moon in a month is referred to as a “blue” moon, but I had no idea that the second new moon in a month is called a “black” moon. It’s not official astronomy terminology, but that’s what’s out there on the interwebz.

I had no writerly events this month, to my great relief. I needed the relax and to focus on getting my words back.

I did meet for a final time this year with my Dispatches critique group on the 10th. It was a relaxed evening.

I had a massage on the 4th. Bliss.

My support group met on the 18th. This month’s topic was shame. And hoo-boy is this a big issue for me.

And I finished the month with some well-earned and desperately needed annual leave. I was off from the 21st through to January 1st, 12 days off for the price of 5.

My bestie and her partner came up for a visit on the 28th. Phil made cookies and apple cake. They went home with the remainders.

What I’m watching and reading

I watched the fourth and final season of Superman & Lois (CTV SciFi). Yeah, they did the death of Superman. Last season, Lex Luthor turned Bizarro into Doomsday by injecting him with a serum that resurrects him and then killing him repeatedly (I know, I know). Doomsday kills Superman in front of his family, ripping out his heart. Jordan gets him to the Fortress and into suspended animation, but he can’t heal without a heart. So, General Lane sacrifices himself after injecting himself with the serum that resurrected Bizarro so that Lois and the boys can use it to heal Clark. But having a human heart is enough to make Clark age and slowly de-power.

Yadda, yadda, yadda. Final showdown with Doomsday (again) and Lex in John Henry’s suped-up suit. Superman saves the day. In the aftermath, Lex goes to jail for good, several couples are united, Jon (who developed powers) and Jordan get married and have a passel of kids. Lois’s cancer returns, she dies, and then Clark’s human heart gives out. Clark and Lois are reunited in the afterlife.

Having said that (and rather snarkily), S&L was one of the best series to emerge from the “Arrowverse” (even though it was supposed to be in a separate timeline). All the other series got old after a few seasons of retreading the same ground, although most were entertaining, initially.

Charlie Jane Anders has an interesting take on why the Arrowverse, as a whole, was the best set of superhero series on TV. I don’t know if I agree with her, but she says that superhero stories, having come from the comics, are inherently episodic and focused not on superheroic antics, but on the emotional entanglements and journeys of the characters. They’re soap operas. I see her point, but I was never fond of soap operas. Maybe that’s why the various Arrowverse series got old for me, real fast, and why S&L, at only four seasons, comes out ahead of the pack.

Then, I watched the first season of Time Bandits (Apple TV +). I watched the original Terry Gilliam movie so long ago that I don’t really remember it, but I enjoyed this new adaptation. History nerd Kevin is bullied, and his family doesn’t understand him. When the self-proclaimed Time Bandits enter his room through a portal in his closet, pursued by the Supreme Being (who wants his map back, thankyouverymuch), Kevin is swept away into time travelling adventure, while the bandits try to steal treasures from everywhen they visit. Fun.

Next, I finished Black Cake (Disney +) based on Charmaine Wilkerson’s novel of the same name. Byron and Benedetta (B&B) are estranged but come together when their mother dies of cancer. In a series of pre-recorded statements, the siblings learn that their mother, who they knew as Eleanor, was actually Coventina. As they slowly learn the truth, they begin to work through their own secrets and trauma. I enjoyed it (especially Nine Night and duppies), and I have the ebook, which I’ll now have to read 🙂

The series ended on a cliffhanger as B&B’s recently revealed half-sister begins to listen to her separately-recorded message from Eleanor/Coventina, but Hulu cancelled it, so the book may be the only place I can find out what happens next (!)

I also finished watching the latest season of Only Murders in the Building (Disney +). The gang is excited because an OMitB movie is being made, but it’s not long before they figure out that Sazz, whose murder was revealed in the last moments of last season, is missing. When they find one of her prosthetics in the apartment’s incinerator, they have their next season of the podcast. Charles’ serial killer ex escapes prison, Oliver and Loretta navigate their long-distance relationship, and poor Mabel ends up squatting in a dead guy’s apartment. And, of course, another murder was revealed in the last minutes of the season. Fun, as always.

Then, I watched The Lost City when it was shown on the CTV Scifi channel. It’s been on my list of fun movies to watch for a while, but I haven’t been able to find it on any of the streaming services. I guess it will be on Crave now, but I was happy to have a relaxing evening of enjoyable and undemanding viewing. Sandra Bullock stars as Loretta Sage, a former archeological researcher and reclusive romance author on a book tour with her cover model Alan played by Channing Tatum. When she’s abducted, Alan ropes in former Navy SEAL and CIA operative Jack Trainer (Brad Pitt) to help him rescue Loretta.

Phil and I watched the Doctor Who Christmas special, Joy to the World (Disney +). It was a lovely, sentimental story, and I loved the idea of the time hotel, but the story could have used more Joy in it 🙂 The character was a bit sidelined in the story, but I guess you only have so much runtime to fill, and you have to make cuts somewhere. Watch it and see what you think.

Finally, Phil and I finished watching the third season of Bleach: The 1,000-Year Blood War (Disney +). Yhwach tricks Ichigo into killing the Soul King, though one of the soul reapers sacrifices himself to become the Soul King’s right hand. Various factions of the soul reapers fight various members of the Stern Ritter. At the end, Uryu’s plan to infiltrate the Stern Ritters and stop Yhwach is revealed. He stays to fight Haschwalth, who is endowed with Yhwach’s Almighty while Yhwach sleeps, and sends Ichigo to kill the sleeping Yhwach. One more season to complete the story arc!

My first listen of the month was the Audible Original Goblin Hero, the second in Jim C. Hines’ Goblin Trilogy. The reputation of “Jig the Dragonslayer” draws a desperate ogre to the goblin caves. Pixies have taken over the ogres, literally, and they need Jig’s help. The goblin leader is all for it, wanting to rid herself of Jig and all the goblins who want him to be leader instead of her. And Jig’s not too sad to go, either. Vika, obsessed with the hero’s journey, has been bothering Jig to teach her magic, but he doesn’t know how.

Things get interesting when Vika decides to embark on her own hero’s journey and follows Jig into the heart of rainbow-coloured, mind-controlling, pixie madness. Fun!

Then, I read Legacy, the second in Lois McMaster Bujold’s The Sharing Knife series. Dag and Fawn return to his home, uneasy with their anticipated reception. Dag warned her that it would be more difficult than sorting things out with her family, but Fawn doesn’t realize how hostile the Lakewalkers are until Dag’s brother Dar refuses to recognize their marriage and insists that Dag turn around and deliver Fawn back into the uncaring arms of her family. Things get complicated when Dag has to lead a rescue mission to a northern town overrun by a Malice and it’s mudmen and mind slaves, leaving Fawn to face the hostility of the Lakewalkers alone. Very good.

Next, I read The Heart Forger, the second book in Rin Chupeco’s The Bone Witch series. It’s the continuing story of Tea, The Bone Witch. Each chapter continues Tea’s past adventures as she relates them to the bard she initially compelled to tell her tale and jumps into the present as the bard witnesses what she does as a result of all she learned. A complex plot and intertwined characters. I loved it.

Then, I finished my reread of C.S. Lewis’ The Magician’s Nephew. There was a time when I used to read the entire Chronicles of Narnia about once a year, sitting at my desk in the evenings, but it’s been decades since I thought to pick up some of my childhood favourites. As good as I remembered it.

I also read The Shadow Glass by Rin Chupeco, the third book in The Bone Witch series. There seemed to be some issues with bringing the story full circle with the dual timelines and some critical events/information were glossed over toward the end, relying on revelations from the beginning of book one and narrative summaries from earlier in the book to fill in the gaps. It was a bit disorienting, but the author ultimately stuck the landing with a bittersweet ending that was worth it.

I read Kelley Armstrong’s Tales of the Otherworld. This collection so shorter tales focuses more on the Cabal than on the werewolves, but vampires make a couple of appearances, and we get the backstory of how Elena and Clay met and fell in love.

Next, I finished That Hideous Strength, the third in C.S. Lewis’ Space Trilogy. Having read the full trilogy now, I’d say they’re more in the way of science fantasy than science fiction.

Unlike the first two books, which focus of the adventures of Ransom as he travels first to Mars and then to Venus to fight the evil spirits of the universe, this novel begins with the tale of Mark and Jane Studdock, as Mark, a sociologist and academic, is seduced into the ranks of the NICE. Jane, lonely and rudderless as she tries to orient herself to married life when her husband is so often absent, begins to have visions, which draw her into the community of St. Anne’s.

NICE aims, through eugenics and fascism, to control humanity. Weston, Ransom’s antagonist in the last two novels, is mentioned as a martyr to their cause and other of Weston’s co-conspirators from the first novel have been given new names as they seek to corrupt the social and intellectual foundations of Britain. At St. Anne’s, Jane meets the director, who is, in fact, Ransom, and who has an odd affinity for animals. In a final battle for free will and humanity, Ransom’s people find Merlinus Ambrosius, whom NICE operatives are also seeking. Merlin is sent into the NICE stronghold to disrupt their plans, free their prisoners and animals, on whom they experiment, and lead the internal revolt.

Perelandra, or Venus, comes to take Ransom to his heavenly reward, Mark is freed from the machinations of NICE, and Jane welcomes her wayward husband home. The characters are mostly passive, with the exception of Merlin, but even he is counselled not to murder anyone, but to let them be hoist by their own petards. Not for everyone, but enjoyable.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: A month in the writerly life https://melaniemarttila.ca

The next chapter: October 2023 update

/ Melanie Marttila

Welcome to November, the month of NaNoWriMo and American Thanksgiving! As a Canadian, I’m legally obligated to specify American Thanksgiving, as Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving the second Monday in October (former American Columbus Day and now Indigenous Peoples’ Day).

Picture of a sunset.

The lovely weather continued through the first two weeks of October—I got out onto the deck again!—but over the Thanksgiving weekend, we had tonnes (again, Canadian, therefore metric) of rain and below seasonal temperatures. But no snow, thanks the powers that be. Well, there was snow, but it melted as soon as it hit the ground.

This was followed by another stretch of above-seasonal temperatures, though with persistent cloud cover and often rain. Phil put away the patio furniture by this time and put the garden to bed for the year.

Life in general

I’ve continued to struggle with dysregulation. I think I’ve been walking on the thin edge of burnout since summer. Also, what I thought were brand new seasonal allergies was, in fact, a persistent sinus infection. It went subclinical over the summer but came back with a vengeance at the end of September.

I was quite sick over the weekend of the 14th and tried to make an appointment with my doctor on Monday, but he was booking in-person into November, so I went to the walk-in clinic and came home with antibiotics and a corticosteroid nasal spray. I may also have brought home another virus from the crowded waiting room.

What followed was a miserable stretch of days while the meds took hold and started to do their thing. I worked (day job and writing), though slowly. The nights were the worst. Gravity works, and infection drains everywhere (ears, bronchus, etc.). I tested for covid twice this time. Both negative, but damn. This was the sickest I’ve been in years.

And then I gave it to Phil 😦 Fortunately, he recovered in a day and a half.

The month in writing

For most of the month, I was once again focused on my new inside outline for Reality Bomb. Having finished writing it out by hand, I then transcribed it. And adjusted the cause-and-effect flow still further, ‘cause I can’t seem to get it nailed down the first (or even fifth) time. Once that was done, I moved onto my next submission.

I’ll have to circle around to do revisions next month (for my NaNo Rebel Combo).

Before the illen truly took hold, I also managed to write 8 poems and 1,392 words on a short story. I’ll take the win!

An Excel spreadsheet showing writing progress for October 2023.

I applied for a mentorship microgrant from The Writers’ Union of Canada (TWUC) and the funds were approved in time for them to be applied to my next six-session package with Suzy. While I’ve paid my next session, I won’t meet with Suzy again until November. This is a good thing. I’ll need the rest of October to get RB reorganized and in shape to resume coaching.

I delivered my fiction writers in the schools visit early in the month. I think it went well. A few students shared their ideas and some of what they’d written. And they asked questions. Mrs. Belanger was helpful and accommodating. I dared to be imperfect, and it paid off.

I submitted some poetry to Polar Starlight and Polar Borealis and two of my new poems were accepted for publication in 2024. Grateful to Graeme and Rhea for their continued dedication to Canadian speculative poetry.

I received edit notes for the short story that was shortlisted. The publisher still has final say, even after I’ve done the requested revisions, so there’s no guarantee, but I’m hopeful.

Filling the well

The vine new moon in Libra was on October 14th and I observed it with a guided meditation. The day was cloudy, so I didn’t get to see the partial eclipse (all of the annular eclipse we’d see up here in northeastern Ontario), but I watched the NASA broadcast.

The full Hunter’s Moon in Taurus fell on October 28th this year. There was also a partial lunar eclipse. Of course, it was overcast again. And I watched the partial lunar eclipse on the Time and Date YouTube channel.

And Samhain (my birthday) was three days after that. It was, as usual, a quiet day. I took it off, Phil made me a full breakfast (pancakes, eggs, and bacon), and we had a Greek feast (souvlaki, lemon potatoes, rice, tzatziki, pita, and salad) in the evening. Phil made me a banoffee pie. We invited my mom.

A picture of a Samhain altar.

As usual, we had no trick or treaters. The are I live in is on the commercial side and kids don’t see it as a viable source of candy. More importantly, their parents don’t see our area as a convenient on to take their kids to. There is a subdivision not far away, and they tend to pack up their kids and go there.

Still, Phil bought a box of chocolate bars “just in case,” and now I’m trying to consume them before he eats too many of them.

Because we received our retro pay, I got myself a new computer. My old one was giving me a CMOS error message every morning on startup. So that’s what I spent the three days leading up to my birthday doing—setting up my computer and making sure all of my documents and pictures and music were transferred over.

Well, the pictures weren’t an issue, because they were backed up on the cloud, but the rest had to be zipped and backed up and copied over. But, in the process, Phil set up a back up server for us. Now, everything’s sorted, and I have a lovely new computer that should last me for a few years.

I started Finnish classes through the Sudbury Finnish School in anticipation of drafting The Fenwoman’s Tale. Eight weeks through October and November. I also returned to the free version of Duolingo to supplement the classes.

I attended the DAW Library Fantasy Book Buzz with Julie Czerneda and Bradley Beaulieu on the 5th. It was a lovely discussion.

The next and final Free Expressions Donald Maass webinar, “Narrative Drive for Sagging Middles and No-plot Novels” also took place on the 5th. Due to timing, I watched the replay. It was a helpful webinar, because my protagonist in my current work-in-progress is trapped in one way or another for a good portion of the book. It’s challenging to maintain agency, but it’s a challenge I set myself.

I registered for a TWUC webinar, “Three Things Agents and Publishers Must See in Your First 30 pages” on October 11th. Barbara Kyle is a great presenter and has a lot of knowledge to impart.

I attended the virtual version of Can-Con from the 13th to the 15th. I didn’t catch all the virtual sessions, but I watched everything I could. An excellent con, as always.

The FOLD Academy offered another webinar on “Writing from Desire and Body” by Linh S. Nguyen on the 14th. Because it was on the same day as Can-Con, I watched the replay once it was posted. It was more of a workshop than a webinar, with practical exercises to encourage you to be present in your body and write what you feel.

I attended Waubgesig Rice’s Sudbury book launch for Moon of the Turning Leaves on the 16th. In person, even! I got a signed copy of the book!

I had registered for the Anne Szumagalski Lecture with Joshua Whitehead back in September, but it was rescheduled to October 20th. A compelling presentation about paranoia as an effect of colonialization and marginalization.

I signed up for “Writing Characters Who Practice Non-Standard Religions” by Nisi Shawl from Writing the Other. The course ran from Oct 28th to Nov 5th. It was a good refresher of being respectful of everyone’s spiritual beliefs.

Thanksgiving was a relaxed affair at my mom’s and the immediate family gathered for ham, scalloped potatoes, turnip puff, jellied salad, and Greek salad. There was apple and blueberry pie for dessert.

I signed up for another Pat Tallman event on mastering motivation. It was mostly practical information and familiar, but it’s always good to refresh and rededicate.

Later in the month, she offered a bonus workshop on forgiveness. Forgiveness is hard, especially forgiving yourself.

What I’m watching and reading

I’ve had a realization. The less I write about something (book, movie, or series) the more I want y’all to experience it for yourselves.

I watched The Whale (Amazon). A lovely, but desperately sad movie that gave me similar feels to Leaving Las Vegas. Charlie is a morbidly obese virtual college instructor who is dying of congestive heart failure (what my father died of, so extra feels there) and refuses to go to the hospital. As the days pass, more and more clues about Charlie’s trauma are revealed. I won’t spoil it. Brendan Fraser earned his awards.

Phil and I finished watching the first season of One Piece (Netflix). Phil says it’s pretty faithful to the manga and anime. It was fun and kind-hearted, which we can all use more of.

We also finished watching the second season of The Wheel of Time (Amazon). They took us on a journey. It was excellent, in my opinion.

The first book I listened to was Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, narrated by Michael York (BBC). The last time I’d read the book was in high school and, to be honest, I didn’t remember much of it. It’s a scathing commentary on a society that is technically utopian but as is usual with utopias, if you scratch the surface, there are flaws. While I appreciated the ending focusing on the tragedy of John Savage, I was left wondering what the ultimate fates of the other two main male characters were. And I was somewhat disappointed that Huxley focused on the dissatisfaction or difference in his male characters only. It seems that there are no alpha females dissatisfied with the utopian world they have been given.

Then, I read A Crown So Cursed, by L. L. McKinney. It’s the third in the Nightmare-Verse series and an urban fantasy retelling of Alice in Wonderland. I really enjoy these books, even if they are young adult. McKinney has made the protagonist’s mother a feature rather than a bug, and in this novel, her grandmother gets in on the action, too.

Next was Tread of Angels by Rebecca Roanhorse. A tragic tale of two sisters in a world shaped by angels and demons. When fallen Mariel is accused of murdering one of the virtues, her sister Celeste becomes her advocatus diaboli to defend her. Celeste sacrifices everything to prove Mariel innocent, even when it becomes apparent that Mariel did everything she is accused of and more.

I read Alaya Dawn Johnson’s Library of Broken Worlds. It was a challenging read (in the best way). A lot of dense ideas and rich world building in this tale of a secondary artificial intelligence created to kill a god.

Finally, I listened to the Audible production of Jim C. Hines’ Terminal Alliance. This one was a lot of fun. In a post-apocalyptic world in which humans have gone feral and have been given a second chance by an alien “cure,” Lieutenant Marion “Mops” Adamopoulos leads a rag-tag team of human janitors to clean up after a nefarious conspiracy leaves them the only crew capable of sorting out the mess.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The Next Chapter: A month in the writerly life. melaniemarttila.ca