The next chapter: January 2026 update

February 1, 2026 / Melanie Marttila / Leave a comment

A new year, zero resolutions, and striving for balance

Life in general

On the topic of resolutions, I’ve learned not to make them. Not that I could keep resolutions in a year like this. It’s more important for me to let my energy level and executive function, AKA my body and brain, guide my work. It’s just like goals. Failing to achieve a resolution is distressing and makes me feel like a horrible person (enter the self-inflicted rejection-sensitive dysphoria), and I don’t want to do that to myself anymore.

The year started with the usual wishes for a fabulous 2026.

The early days of 2026 were clear in the mornings, but cold. It’s a facet of life in a four-season climate. If it’s sunny in the winter, it’s fucken cold. When the temperature is closer to, but still below, freezing, it snows.

The slow return of the light buoyed my mood, and I think I got my daily dose of vitamin D for those few days.

But then, on the morning of the 3^rd, Trump attacked Caracas, forcibly extradited Maduro, and held him for trial. He then declared that the US would now “run” Venezuela in a violation of international law.

John Scalzi declined initial comment except to say that the US has done the same thing multiple times over the years. Yes, but in each of those past cases, the government attempted to justify their actions to the UN, NATO, and to the worldwide court of public opinion. Trump didn’t bother with any of that, having only the utmost contempt for all three of those institutions.

I won’t comment on this further, because politics is so not my thing, but I will offer a couple of perspectives from more engaged parties.

For the Canadian angle, Charlie Angus.

And for the American angle, Rebecca Solnit.

I was disappointed in Prime Minister Carney’s tacit approval of Trump’s shenanigans, though.

Here’s a more nuanced discussion of the issues from The Walrus.

Then, on the 7^th, Renee Nicole Good, a 37-year-old mother, poet, and community activist, was killed by an ICE agent in Minneapolis. Her death sparked protests across the US on the ongoing brutality waged by ICE agents and the Trump administration’s violent attack on communities. Since, many people have been sharing stories of her life and legacy, including her poem “On Learning to Dissect Fetal Pigs,” which won the 2020 Academy of American Poets Prize.

Even more protests followed, as well they should. I had hope that this would be the first crack in the Trump dam, with many more to follow.

Unfortunately, people are suffering in the meantime. Reports from protestors on the ground in Minneapolis are dire. They can’t keep up with the citizen reporting. They’re overwhelmed with the number of ICE agents, and more are on the way. I can only wish them strength to outlast the oppression.

At work, I started a project for the new intake team. It was a refreshing change, a short-term project with existing content that just had to be converted from an instructor-led format into e-learning. My new team lead is high energy, which my neurology absorbs as nervous energy. I have to make myself sit back and ask — is this a suggestion or an instruction? But I adapted.

Then, on the 21^st, the week of Blue Monday, the day after Prime Minister Carney’s rousing Davos speech (with which his recent actions and public statements have been seriously at odds with casting doubt on his future actions, see The Tyee for more on that), the day of Trump’s renewed threats against Canada, and Bell Let’s Talk Day, our department was advised that job cuts would begin. Meetings would be held the next day for those affected. I received a meeting notification shortly thereafter.

I seriously tried to remain calm.

Processing by doing seems to help me, so I attended the meeting, met with my manager, made an enquiry with the pension unit, made an enquiry with my HR advisor, made a pension estimate that may or may not be accurate, chatted with my sister-in-law, colleagues, and anyone else who reached out.

The 22^nd was exhausting. In the moment, I had to read everything multiple times because I could comprehend nothing. I talked to my manager, I talked to my sister-in-law, I talked to my former team leader, I talked to Phil, I talked to my mom, I talked to a friend, I journalled through it, I RUMINATED.

On the 23^rd, I had a meltdown. I realized I was holding my breath, or that I had stopped breathing (usually on the exhale) because I suddenly felt dizzy (!) Not breathing will do that. Sounds were muffled. My ears weren’t ringing, just not earing properly. I was holding so much tension in my body it was manifesting as physical pain. It took me until 2:30 am to feel right enough in my body to try sleeping, which I was thankfully able to do.

This is what a lifetime of masking taught me to do, hold EVERYTHING in. No amount of stimming or breathing exercises or physical activity or tea (I have a selection of adaptogenic teas I employ to combat stress) or anything else I tried brought me out of it. I just had to ride it out.

Symptoms returned in waves in the following days. It was all I could do to try to stay regulated.

And in the middle of my personal crisis Alex Pretti, a 37-year-old ICU nurse just trying to help another protester, was repeatedly pepper sprayed, beaten by multiple “federal officers,” and then shot multiple times. In Minneapolis. Again.

I’ll defer to Heather Cox Richardson, political historian, on this one:

Meanwhile, Maine was dealing with its own ICE invasion, sheltered from media coverage by the killings in Minnesota.

And as January’s final kick in the teeth, beloved Canadian comedian and actor, Catherine O’Hara died on the 30^th. This is such a loss.

The month in writing

I focused on finishing the short fiction revisions and submitting another review. As the month wore on and shit continued to hit the fan (see Life in general), writing anything beyond updating this post became impossible.

Toward the end of the month, I touched a short story again, but additional hits of dysregulation pulled me away. The anxiety came in waves and I was tumbled.

On the 5^th, my review of Incantations by N. Milanne was published in The Seaboard Review of Books.

On the 14^th, Heidi Ulrichsen published this lovely article on Sudbury.com about Super Canucks, edited by Andy Taylor and Mat Del Papa, coming out from Latitude 46 Publishing on March 21, 2026. My story, “Old Crow,” will be in this anthology (in case you didn’t know)!

In writerly business, the SF Canada board met on the 10^th to assign roles, schedule our meetings, and discuss what we wanted to do this year. I volunteered for the president’s role, and it looks like we have a lot of work ahead of us this year.

On a personal note, I’m glad it’s the last year I can serve on the board. I need a break from board work. It’s time to reevaluate and reallocate my time and energy to my own creative work.

Filling the well

New Year’s Day was quiet, focused on setting up my trackers and documents for the coming year.

Another discovery I’d made in doing that regarded my poetry. I’d written 16 new poems in 2025, and while I had submitted a few to contests and journals, I hadn’t been able to get further publications. Part of my strategy for 2026 will include sending out more of my poetry.

The full spirit moon in Cancer was on the 3^rd. I saw her, late at night while taking Torvi out for finals, with Jupiter alongside. I breathed her in.

The new birch moon in Capricorn was on the 18^th, and by then we were into the thick of Trump’s shenanigans and ICE assassinations, and the typically overcast sky made it hard to see much of anything.

Picture of mallard ducks in a winter creek. — No moon pictures this month, but LOOK at the DUCKS!

On the 8^th, I signed up for North West Passages, a winter online reading series from The Writers’ Union of Canada. It was hosted by Elizabeth Haynes and featured Anna Elgie, Penny Kome, Lise Mayne, and C.L. Polk (!). A lovely evening.

I signed up for The Stoplight Strategy for Revision with Natalie Paulson of Six of Wands on the 13^th. The event was posted on the Canadian Authors Association Circle platform. It was a technique I’d encountered before, but to have the principles behind it explained was interesting.

On the 14^th, I signed up for The Holy Trinity of Fiction: Character, Plot, and Stakes, with Tiffany Yates Martin through Jane Friedman. Fabulous, as always.

The Canadian Artists Network offered a webinar with the Canada Council about their new portal and funding options on the 19^th. Great information for when I’m ready to apply again.

On the 29^th, I signed up for “Enchanted England: Folklore, Literature, and Landscapes” with Dr. Sara Cleto & Dr. Brittany Warman, a Great Courses Tour promotion that was nonetheless entertaining and informative. If you have any interest in folklore, you should check out the Carterhaugh School. They have a great newsletter and a lot of free resources. It’s also an actual school, though, and there are paid courses.

My monthly therapy appointment was on the 15^th. I discussed a few recent issues, and we got through two more values domains, work and education.

My support group met on the 28^th. The topic for January was rejection-sensitive dysphoria and rumination, things I struggle with. I’m beginning to think that I’m outgrowing the support group, though. Most of the participants are significantly younger than I am and their interests do not coincide with my own. Now that I have a neurodivergent-affirming therapist, I’m wondering if I still need a support group, or if I can find something else to support me as an autistic diagnosed in middle age.

What I’m watching and reading

My first watch of 2026 was Down Cemetery Road (Apple TV +). This clever detective story starts with a dinner party held by Sarah Trafford and her husband Mark during which an explosion occurs. Sarah’s neighbour Maddie Singleton is killed in the explosion and Maddie’s daughter Dinah is taken to the hospital. When she is prevented from visiting Dinah at the hospital the next day and notices that Dinah is being erased from the media reporting of the incident, Sarah contacts a detective, Joe Silvermann. Joe digs into the situation and reports that Dinah is being moved in secret. Sarah rushes to the hospital but fails to intercept Dinah. When she returns to Joe, she finds him dead of an apparent suicide. Sarah teams up with Joe’s partner and spouse Zoë Boehm to find Dinah and solve Joe’s murder. Excellent!

Then, I finished watching Lisey’s Story (Apple TV +). This adaptation of Stephen King’s 2006 novel, also written by King, is about trauma, its relation to creativity, and the power of love to heal. It’s also about grief, legacy, and what can happen when stalkery fans take things too far.

Two years after her husband, beloved author Scott Landon, dies, his wife, Lisey is still mired in grief. A professor and fan contacts her to release Scott’s unpublished novels. When she refuses to release them, the professor contacts another fan, Jim Dooley, who agrees to “convince” Lisey to relinquish Scott’s unpublished works. Meanwhile, Lisey is also concerned about her sister, Amanda, whose mental deterioration and self-harm result in her institutionalization. Before his death, Scott sets Lisey a “bool hunt,” a kind of treasure hunt and, as she slowly sorts through his possessions, she finds the clues and follows them.

It’s a weird one, but King, in a bonus interview for Apple, said that it was one of his most personal and beloved stories. Imagination literally bestows the power to travel to another world. Enjoyable, but really creepy and extremely violent.

Next, continuing my Apple TV + trend, I finished Pluribus. Carol Sturka is a science fiction romance author on her latest book tour, when everyone around her, including her partner, Helen, begins to seize. While most people recover and gather around her, smiling and asking in eerie unison, “How can we help?” Helen dies in Carol’s arms, and she commandeers a truck to take her beloved home. What follows is a cosmic virus take on the Invasion of the Body Snatchers but if the aliens were an eternally happy extremely pacifist (can’t pick an apple off the tree but will eat windfalls) hivemind whose only imperative is to spread until literally all sentient beings are one. Since the hivemind is a virus, there are a few, like Carol, who are immune, but they’re working on a way to “fix” Carol and the other immune humans so they can join the hivemind … soon. Most of what I’ve shared is in the trailers, so I haven’t spoiled anything. This is a watch that makes you think and surprises you at every turn. The tag line is this: What if the grumpiest misanthrope on the planet tried to save the world from happiness? SO good!

Then I finished watching the National Geographic limited series, Witches: Truth Behind the Trials (Disney +). Interesting background on trials in Germany, Scotland, England, Sweden, America, and Ireland.

I watched The Holdovers (Netflix). This was a Friendly Space Ninja recommendation. At Barton, an all-boy boarding school in December 1970, unpopular and curmudgeonly teacher, Paul Hunham, is stuck with the responsibility of watching the students who must stay at the school over the holidays. Among the students is Angus Tully, who’s been kicked out of four schools already. His mother and stepfather have threatened military school. After a few days, one of the students convinces his father to take everyone on a ski trip — if their parents give permission. Only Angus’ parents fail to respond. Thus begins Angus and Paul’s journeys of self discovery, accompanied by Mary, the school’s cook, whose son, a Barton student, has recently been killed in the Vietnam war. A lovely movie about outsiders coming together to heal past wounds and the sacrifices they make for each other.

Then, I watched Rye Lane (Disney +), another Friendly Space Ninja recommendation. This sweet romantic comedy follows Dom and Yas through a rambling series of events in South London. Yas finds Dom weeping in the unisex loo and decides to cheer him up, showing up at his post-breakup reconciliation lunch with his ex and her new boo, Dom’s best friend. Yas pretends to be Dom’s new girlfriend and the two spin a meet-cute tale of a rave karaoke performance, which they later, inadvertently make a reality. Yas is coming off her own breakup, but lies to Dom, not wanting to seem as pathetic as he was. Mild spoilers, of course the two get together, but not before Dom catches Yas in her lie and the two go their separate ways.

My first listen of the year was the Saga Double Red Star Hustle, a short novel by Sam J. Miller and Apprehension, a novella by Mary Robinette Kowal. I remember seeing paired novels/novellas in the way back times (80s) displayed on metal carousels in my local convenience store. I think Tor published them. On one side was the first novel’s cover and, flipping it over, the second novel’s cover was on the back. Saga is now apparently trying the practice out to see if readers will be attracted.

Red Star Hustle is about a sex worker named Aran with a traumatic past and a set of addictions he can’t kick, who has a side hustle (as apparently all sex workers do) as an intelligence operative. He’s framed for the murder of a filmmaker client of his and goes on the run through the galaxy-spanning system of stable wormhole gates. Security agent and former mech battle star Imadi has been tasked with hunting Aran down, but she has secrets of her own that she can’t risk getting out. The story focuses on generational trauma, addiction and recovery, and queer messiness to the exclusion of the thriller cat and mouse plot. Like its two point-of-view characters, Red Star Hustle is a bit of a hot mess.

Apprehension, on the other hand, is classic Mary Robinette Kowal, featuring a septuagenarian protagonist, Bonnyjean, a grieving mother, neurosurgeon with a bad hip, and former special forces operative returning to Nahatanau, the world where she was a prisoner of war 40 years ago, with her recently-widowed son-in-law, Jax, a former popstar, and grandson Tristan, for a vacation. Things go sideways when Tristan is abducted, drawing Bonnyjean into an assassination plot, but all she wants to do is get Tristan back, if her hip doesn’t give out before she can. Excellent!

Then, I finished reading Artificial Condition, the second in the Murderbot Diaries series by Martha Wells. After leaving Dr. Mensa and the Preservation Alliance, Murderbot heads to the place where it thinks it might have earned its name. On the way, it’s forced to accept a ride of a research transport, which it calls ART — read the book if you want to find out why! Of course, in order to get to the site of the massacre, Murderbot must masquerade as a human security consultant and accept a job with another hapless group of humans. Things do not go as planned. Loved!

My next listen was The Wisdom of Wolves: Lessons from the Sawtooth Pack by Jim and Jamie Dutcher. Ah, my heart! The Dutchers lived alongside three generations of a wolf pack taking video and audio recordings of them for six years. This audiobook is the collected wisdom the wolves taught them. Adored!

I listened to Malka Older’s The Mimicking of Known Successes. This Sapphic Holmsian mystery set on Jupiter (or Giant as its inhabitants call it) where humans live on platforms set high in the atmosphere of the planet and connected by rings on which railcars run. The story follows Inspector Mossa as she solves the mystery of a man who seems to have fallen, been pushed, or … leapt off a remote platform and into the storms and crushing gravity of Giant. As the missing and presumed dead man worked in the classics department (dedicated to the study of life on Earth and how humanity might be able to return there) of Veldegeld University, Mossa comes into the orbit of her former roommate and lover Pleiti, also a classisist. Mossa is the Holmes of this mystery, ND-coded, intensely bright, often distracted, and focused on the mystery she must solve to the exclusion of — nearly — everything else. Pleiti is, of course, Mossa’s Watson, as clever in her field as Mossa is in hers. Fabulous world and worldbuilding. Fabulous characters, mystery, and romantic subplot. Just fabulous.

Next, I read Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. I nabbed the e-book on the recommendation of Charlie Rewilding, who embarked on a digital cleanse a few years ago. It’s a good book, even if it is a bit dated now, but I realized something in the reading. I am not addicted to social media. I’m already a digital minimalist in my own way. My phone is more of an e-reader and for listening to my audiobooks. It was validating. However, if you do find yourself spending hours on social media or doomscrolling without purpose, you might want to give this book a read.

Then, I finished reading Shani Mootoo’s Starry Starry Night. Six-year-old Anjula Ghoshal lives with Ma and Pa in Trinidad and does not understand why she must go live with strangers she must call Mummy and Daddy, with Tara and Anil, whom she is told are her brother and sister. Mootoo masters the stream of consciousness of Anju, who much prefers Andru, please, as we follow her through personal upheavals against the backdrop of Trinidad’s political evolution toward independence. Each section of the novel is named for the street on which each successive house Anju lives in through the six years covered by the novel. A compelling coming-of-age story of love and loss and disillusionment, which leaves the reader wondering, along with Anju, “If everything dies, why does it have to go through the whole of living to get to dying?” Excellent.

Next, I listened to Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. Yes, I’m trying to backfill my classics reading as I can with audiobooks as I find them in the Audible Plus library. I haven’t seen any of the adaptations of the novel either. I enjoyed the story, overall, though I was put off with the underlying (and sometimes overt — the girls “play” Pilgrim’s Progress) religious thrum throughout.

The four March girls are the eponymous “little women,” something their father, a chaplain in the Union Army during the Civil War, calls them in his letters home. The March family lives in “genteel poverty,” that is, they used to have modest wealth but have lost it all. Meg is the oldest and a completely traditional woman, interested in making a good match and being a good wife and mother like Marmee. Jo is a tomboy, author, and is hot-tempered. Beth is shy and gentle, plays the piano, must be home-schooled, and is of frail health. Amy is materialistic and too easily influenced by what others think is fashionable. The novel follows them through their youth with rich neighbour Theodore “Laurie” Laurence through to young adulthood in which three of the four girls find love, get married, and have children.

Then, I finished reading Cait Gordon’s Speculative Shorts: Stories that Fell Out of My Brain. This lovely suite of inclusive speculative short fiction explores queer life, disability, neurodivergence, romance, power, defiance, and resilience. A great collection. Highly recommend!

Next, I read Exit Strategy, the fourth book in the Murderbot Diaries series by Martha Wells. You may remember I read the third in the series last year (lol).

Just to remind you what happened in Rogue Protocol, Murderbot makes its way to Milu, hoping to gather more evidence against GrayCris and poses as a security consultant. When battle with a combat secunit reveals what Murderbot is (i.e., also secunit), it changes its cover to a secunit remotely supervised by a security consultant and helps the group recover their abducted colleague. Does Murderbot get the evidence against GrayCris it needs? Boy howdy, does it!

In Exist Strategy, Murderbot is drawn to a corporate hub where its owner/friend Dr. Mensah is being held against her will. Pin-Lee, Gurathin, and Ratthi have also arrived at the hub and are trying to raise the funds to pay Mensah’s ransom. Murderbot must extract Mensah from GrayCris and devise an exit strategy that gets them all off the hub safely. As always, things do not go as planned! Another entertaining read!

Then, I listened to The Film Makers, an Audible Original featuring Cameron Crowe (Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous), Natasha Lyonne (Russian Doll, Poker Face), Ron Howard (Apollo 13, A Beautiful Mind), Amy Heckerling (Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Clueless), Richard Linklater (School of Rock, the Before Trilogy), and Chloë Zhao (Nomadland, The Eternals). The revelation (for me) was Natasha Lyonne. Such a fascinating background and story! And I loved how Chloë Zhao considered her movies (Songs My Brothers Taught Me, The Rider, Nomadland, and The Eternals) in the frame of a classical quartet, that is three tragic stories followed by a parody. You really must listen to her explanation to get the picture. But of course, everyone was fabulous. Enlightening!

When I saw that Ken Cuperus had written a spinoff of the Mistletoe Murders series for Audible Originals, I had to listen! In Middlebridge Mysteries, Violet Wilner, Sam’s daughter and Emily Lane’s former favourite employee, is in her first year of her criminology degree at Middlebridge University, her mom’s alma mater. This is her dream, but a hard-partying roommate, an irritating classmate, a demanding professor, a charming football player, and a series of mysteries conspire to distract Violet from her classes, and there’s nothing that distracts her more than a good mystery! Can Violet juggle everything, find justice, and still pass her classes? A charming cozy. Can’t wait for the next instalment!

I finished the month by listening to Richard Wagamese’s One Drum. Though unfinished at the time of his death in 2017, the three Ojibway grandfather teachings he covers in this book really spoke to me in this eventful month of January 2026. If you haven’t read Wagamese, I’ll encourage you to pick this, or really any of his books, up. I have not failed to be moved by his work, whether fiction (Indian Horse, Starlight) or his non-fiction.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: A month in the writerly life. https://melaniemarttila.ca

I acknowledge with respect that I am in Robinson-Huron Treaty territory, that the land from which I write is the traditional territory of the Anishinaabe and home of Atikameksheng Anishnawbek and Wahnapitae First Nation.

The next chapter: December 2025 update and year-end review

January 4, 2026 / Melanie Marttila / Leave a comment

Hi-ho, hi-ho …

Life in general

I returned to work on December 1^st, after a five-week leave. And discovered things were pretty much as I’d left them. Yes, the training for trainers had taken place and everyone was impressed with my reworking and additions to the Nation Learning Roadmap courses for facilitators. Yes, the pilot had taken place and was a little bit of chaos.

But now we had another slate of recommended changes to be made by the 19^th.

I got back to the grind.

Come the 19^th, there were still outstanding courses and modules left to be received from the content writers (or rewriters in this case) but I turned on my out of office notification and logged out of my work computer determined not to think about work for the next nine days.

On the 4^th, I received an email advising that I was eligible for the Early Retirement Initiative, which was part of the recently-passed budget. Immediately, I went into panic mode. WHAT DID THIS MEAN?! I called my team lead, who’d received the same email. We discussed. Then I did the smart thing and contacted my sister-in-law, who’d been looking into the situation for months.

TL;DR: Hold steady. This is just the first volley of the employer trying to get people to leave without availing themselves of the workforce adjustment provisions in our collective agreement.

I later learned that 60,000 emails had been sent in the hope of getting 40,000 employees to opt in. Another article released in Quebec, perpetuated the rumour that the return to 5 days in the office would start in 2026.

Still later, the news and the union started to report that job cuts would begin in the new year. Management indicated that they had no information to report, but they were committed to transparency.

On the 7^th, I slipped and fell while walking Torvi (a combination of unplowed sidewalk and a dancing dog) and sprained the middle finger on my right hand (fuck!). It was purple, swollen, and had limited mobility for the first few days. And boy, did I learn how much I use my right hand to grip, lift, and carry things. A friend suggested that maybe I’d broken it, but I could still move it and didn’t think so.

A picture of a sprained, or possibly broken finger.

Typing wasn’t an issue (thank goodness), but the accident really made me aware of my body, or at least my hand, in a way I hadn’t been for ages.

By the end of the first week, the bruising had worked its way through black to brown to yellow, though it was still painful and swollen. I finally checked Dr. Google, and it is possible that I’ve broken the finger. If I have, it’s a stable fracture (no deformation) and the only thing that might have been done was to splint the finger or buddy-bind it with another finger. Movement would probably still have been advised as a form of physiotherapy. I honestly didn’t think I needed to go to the clinic, though. I would have been waiting for hours in a room with a bunch of people with seasonal viruses I don’t need to catch.

I was still treating my seasonal sinus thing. Once the snow stayed, the allergic triggers shouldn’t have been an issue. At one point, I was feeling well enough to try going without the Ryaltris, but within a few hours, a headache set in, followed by chunks of bloody mucus in my blowings, so I resumed.

It soon became apparent that the bloody snot would continue, regardless. I chalked it up to the dry winter air, inside and out, and let my immune system deal with it as it would with neti-pot and supplemental (Emergen-C and Cold FX) support.

I also deduced that the continued use of the Ryaltris when I no longer needed it may have made my nasal tissues more sensitive. Whatever the cause, the bloody snots slowed down after a couple of days.

Also still dealing with the dregs of the eczema. Though it’s no longer itchy or swollen, eczema’s not really gone until the discoloured, leathery skin returns to normal.

I got the notification on the 9^th that I was not selected for the intake unit. There may be opportunities in the future, as I was advised that they may rotate people through the unit.

Which made the Power BI course I took from the 8^th to the 11^th less relevant/urgent. It’s still an asset, but I might have been able to use the 3 hours of class a day in a more productive manner. Productivity matters at work. A year and ten months until pre-retirement leave. Three years and ten months until retirement. Unless I’m surplussed, and then workforce adjustment provisions should compensate me appropriately.

Then, my team lead advised that, while we still had to fulfill our commitment to the current (albatross) project, we would be the design team attached to the intake unit and would handle any learning materials that did not already have a design team committed to the subject matter. This meant that we would be doing several different short-term projects in the new year.

I was looking forward but still dwelling in the uncertainty of potential lay offs. As a unilingual English employee within five years of retirement, I’ll probably be one of the first to go … after the term employees.

But I was grateful to have the week of Christmas off. After only 3 weeks of work, I needed another break.

The month in writing

After finishing the last cutting pass last month, I took a break from Reality Bomb and let the project simmer in the back of my mind. I’m already mulling over ideas for how to rewrite the first chapter and further tweak the draft.

In the meantime, I’ve turned my attention to working on a couple of short stories for future submissions as well as some poetry.

While I was at my latest appointment with my therapist, I articulated a decision I hadn’t even known I was contemplating. I’m going to put off the cleaning/reorganizing of my office until I have RB in the query pipeline. I’ll have the headspace/spoons to dedicate some time to it without having to worry about a creative project.

Yes, I’ll then have to get back to working on my next creative project, but I figure I can take a week or two to deal with my environment and dive back in refreshed and feeling like I’ve accomplished something. Until then, I’ll just do a few small things. There’s already more candle glass to clean up, more essential oil bottles to clean, plants to repot, a bulletin board and white board I haven’t been using to take down and store, that kind of thing.

On the 4^th, Frances Boyle’s lovely review of The Art of Floating was published in ARC Poetry Magazine online. I’m so grateful that my debut collection is still getting attention more than a year out from publication.

I took part in the open mic reading at the Latitude 46 stop in the Downtown Sudbury Art Crawl on the 6^th. Had a lovely afternoon chatting with writerly friends.

On the 12^th, the revised cover of Super Canucks was released. Apparently, there were problems with the original.

The SF Canada annual general meeting was on the 14^th. And it went swimmingly! We have a complete board, internal auditors, and a few ideas for the coming year!

The year in review

In 2024, I started out in the usual fashion, establishing which projects I would work on and word count goals to achieve, and entering everything into my Excel tracker, but something happened early in the year that made me change course. I realized that having these goals was stressing me out. Because of my uneven productivity, I wouldn’t always (or even often) meet these arbitrary goals and every time I missed one, I’d get distressed.

So, in 2025, I just put in the projects I hoped to work on, but no word count goals. Accordingly, my Excel has become a true tracker of my progress, and I can use the totals page at the end to show me what I accomplished rather than flog myself with all the goals I missed in the year.

It’s been a great boost for my mental health.

A screenshot of my writing and revision totals for 2025.

Here’s how the year broke down:

I wrote 58,075 words. 7,549 of them in creative non-fiction. Mostly these were my book reviews, but there was also a CNF flash piece that I wrote and submitted. The remaining 50,510 words were my newsletters/blog posts.

I revised -7,620 words, subtracting 7,301 words from Reality Bomb and the remaining 319 from a couple of short stories I was revising.

I reviewed my annual writing totals since I started using the tracking Excel. In general terms, from 2014 to 2020, I wrote between 150,000 and 300,000 words a year. In 2021, the year I suffered a crisis of creative confidence and obtained my autism diagnosis, my annual writing total was 68,000 words.

That was the first crack in my writerly façade, and the first year of my latest burnout. In 2022, I felt I had recovered, and my total went up to 100,000 words, but it’s clear that was unsustainable. Since then, I’ve written between 45,000 and 60,000 words a year, most of them on my blog/newsletters. But my focus has also shifted from drafting to revision, with regard to my novels and short fiction.

My word for 2026 is balance. I need to find the balance between creative production and rest and work. My autistic brain needs it.

In terms of reading (paper, e-book, and audiobook), I read 97 books this year! I’d actually set my goal low, at 60 books, raised it twice, and still read more than my goal.

A note about my reading habits. Because I work, I’ve structured my reading time around my lunch and breaks, and I usually have 6 books on the go at any given time. A paper book, a kindle e-book, a Kobo e-book, a pdf e-book (usually a review book these days), another book that could be a reread, and therefore paper, or research, and likely a library e-book loan, and an audiobook that I listen to while I walk Torvi and do random tasks.

This is why I appear to be a fast reader, but am, in fact a very slow reader. Sure, I go through audiobooks at a rapid pace, but reading a paper or e-book takes time. Sometimes a lot of time. This is low-key distressing, because in my youth, I used to read very rapidly. A book a day sometimes. I can’t do that anymore in middle age.

Also, I’ve tried to continue reading when I’m not working but find it’s difficult to fit reading in when I don’t have a designated break or lunch within which to read. I’ll have to figure out a system by the time I retire but, for now, it’s easier to read in short bursts while I’m working than when I’m off.

This year has not been a productive one. Because I’ve been struggling with burnout, I haven’t produced a lot. I only have one publication this year (aside from reviews) and that is a very short poem, “Pocket Dimension,” that was published in Polar Starlight 17 in February.

Still, I’m going to submit it for consideration for the Aurora Awards and to Year’s Best Canadian Fantasy and Science Fiction, Volume 4 for consideration. I had hoped that Super Canucks, and therefore my story “Old Crow,” would have been published in 2025, but due to various factors, it could not be added to Latitude 46’s 2025 release schedule.

With my publications over the past few years (at least one story and several poems) it’s felt weird to have a “fallow year.” But I recognize that I must be gentle with myself. If I push and try to produce while my brain is giving “hard no” vibes, it’s not going to do me or my creative work any favours.

Filling the well

The full freezing moon in Gemini was on the 4^th. Though it was a sunny day, it was dark by the time the moon rose.

A picture of the three quarter waning moon.

The new reed moon in Sagittarius was on the 19^th. It was raining and melty, which was a bit of a downer at this time of year.

And winter arrived on the 21^st with the solstice. After this, the light slowly began to return.

The final class of Unmasking through our writing with Muratroyd Monaghan was on the 4^th. It was a great course, and I would highly recommend it to any ND authors. She’ll be offering it again in 2026. Stay on the look out. The organizer is Off Topic Publishing.

I finished the Christmassing on the 11^th! I’ve been a little slower this year than in the last couple getting the tree and decorations up.

My next therapy appointment was on the 15^th. We chatted about my plans for the holidays and when I outlined my week ahead (three appointments during the week while working, hair appointment and Mom’s birthday dinner on the 20^th, and a cookie exchange on the 21^st), she asked me how I felt about that. In the moment, I’d said that I was trying to spread things out and that the appointments during the week were focused on self-care. Once my very busy week had passed, though, I realized that I hadn’t done myself any favours. I think she was trying to cue me to the fact that I was doing too much. In retrospect, I agree, but hindsight is always clearer, especially when you have trouble living in the moment.

I had another glorious massage on the 17^th.

Also on the 17^th was my support group meeting. The topic this month was family. Good preparation for the holiday season. This time around, I was the odd one out, having a small family and no real family conflicts at this time of the year.

Torvi got her regular touch-up on the 19^th.

On the 20^th, I took my mom out for a pre-holiday trim and then Phil and I took her out to her favourite restaurant to celebrate her birthday.

My sister-in-law hosted a cookie exchange on the 21^st. It started at 1 and Mom and I left at 3:30. It was a very social afternoon with mimosas to start, a buffet-style assortment of finger foods and appetizers, and, of course, cookies.

One thing I realized after the fact, as I was recovering from my “social hangover,” was that these kinds of events are not my cuppa. Too loud, too many people talking all at once. I’ll probably go again, but I may have more of a strategy around it. Prep for a few days before (and clear the decks of all other obligations, appointments, etc., if possible) and make sure I have time and space after to recover.

We celebrated Christmas on Boxing Day, to allow my sister-in-law and mom-in-law to attend their in-law celebrations on Christmas Day. It was a nice, family-focused evening, but stormy weather added to the stress of travelling (even a relatively short distance), and I found myself in recovery mode again, following.

Finally, friends from out of town visited on the 27^th. Unfortunately, because my brain was mush, I wasn’t a particularly good host, but I enjoyed the evening.

What I’m watching and reading

The first series I finished watching in December was the full run of Inu Yasha (Netflix). It’s taken years, y’all! I used to watch episodes on YTV … way back, and when I saw that the whole series was available, I started a rewatch. This is another comfort watch for me. The whole series is too involved to get into any detail. Suffice it to say that Kagome falls through the Well of Bones back in time to feudal-era Japan, where she teams up with a half-dog-demon (Inu Yasha), a fox demon pup (Shippo), a lecherous monk (Miroku), and a demon hunter (Sango) to collect the scattered shards of the Shikon jewel before the half-demon Naraku (with whom everyone has beef) can. There are lots of recurring secondary characters that are as interesting as the main cast. Very fun. All the nostalgic.

Then, I watched Wake Up, Dead Man (Netflix). Rian Johnson’s latest Benoit Blanc mystery is engaging, amusing, and all kinds of awesome. Father Jud, a former boxer from New York, is assigned to the rural parish of Our Lady of Perpetual Fortitude after he punches a deacon. Even the bishop agrees that the deacon was a jerk, but it’s probably a good idea for Jud to get out of the city for a while. Father Jud is immediately at odds with Monsignor Wicks, the parish priest who insists on the title of monsignor. Wicks has driven away almost all his parishioners with his condemning sermons. On Good Friday, Wicks retreats into a closet to “recover” from his homily, and Jud takes over the service only to hear a clatter from the closet. Opening the door, Jud finds Wicks face down and stabbed in the back. Jud is the prime suspect, for reasons (watch the movie, people!).

The ultimate locked room mystery causes the local police to call in the renowned Benoit Blanc, who is as over-the-top and overconfident as ever, to solve the murder. Great performances from a stellar cast, and a twist that will have viewers wondering whether Benoit Blanc has at last met his match. Loved!

After I finished the latest season of Only Murders in the Building last month, Disney + recommended the Only Murders in the Building Official Podcast. It was apparently intended to be viewed as the new episodes were released, but I found the behind-the scenes interviews with the cast, writers, and showrunner interesting and entertaining.

Next, I finished watching The Bad Guys series and seasonal specials (Netflix). I started with Haunted Heist, moved through the Breaking In series, and finished with A Very Bad Holiday. These are all prequels to the first movie and lead up to the Bad Guys becoming the less-Bad Guys – Lol! Mostly, the series focuses on the gang trying to make the list of the baddest of the bad. And failing. But they each have their own journeys preparing them for the first movie switch.

Then, on the recommendation of Friendly Space Ninja, I checked out Kill Boksoon (Netflix). This is a dubbed Korean movie that’s basically John Wick with a single mother as the protagonist and no dead puppies.

Gil Bok-soon is a professional assassin working for the MK company. She has this skill, much like Holmes in Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes movies, where she runs through the possible outcomes of her actions before she decides what to do. Bok-soon tries to be a good mother and protect her daughter, Jae-yeong, from the dark life she leads. She considers leaving the business, but when Jae-yeong stabs a fellow student in the neck (not fatally) and is under threat of expulsion, MK’s director convinces her to take on another contract, or show. In the middle of Bok-soon’s show, Jae-yeong calls her to confess why she stabbed her fellow student and Bok-soon decides not to complete the contract. Things devolve from there, forcing Bok-soon to kill her way free of MK’s current management. A little slower than John Wick, but the fight scenes are excellent, and the story is more compelling.

I watched the first season of The Mighty Nein (Prime). I tried to get Phil interested, but he wasn’t as keen on this Critical Role offering as he was on The Legend of Vox Machina. Most of the season was about the group coming together while the Trent Ikithon stole the Beacon from the Kryn Dynasty. The two storylines are brought together when the Gentleman hires the Mighty Nein to steal the Beacon from Trent. I enjoyed it quite a bit.

Because I’d enjoyed the first The Bad Guys movie, series, and seasonal specials, I decided to watch The Bad Guys 2 on Prime. Picking up after the events of the first movie, the Bad Guys are having a rough go trying to find work with criminal records. After serving their time, they’ve gone straight, but no one is willing to give them a chance. They try to prove themselves by bringing in the Phantom Bandit. Instead, the Phantom Bandit blackmails them into performing one last heist. She has footage that identifies Diane Foxington, now governor, as the Crimson Paw and will release it, ruining Diane’s career, unless the Bad Guys comply. All sorts of call backs and shout outs to various movies and series. It’s a lot of fun.

Then, I saw Hazbin Hotel Live on Broadway was out on Prime (!) and had to watch it. Like the OMitB podcast, it was intended to be viewed before the second season aired. Regardless, it was a beautiful fan-fest with cosplayers and musical performances of songs from the series. I may have to get the soundtrack.

I finished watching season 4 of The Witcher (Netflix). Liam Hemsworth makes a nearly seamless new Geralt (I feel I should not be surprised, but I was). Ciri has relinquished her powers and taken the name of Falka, joining The Rats, a gang of thieves. Thinking that Ciri is in Niflgard, Geralt, Jaskier, and Milva fight their way there. Yennefer gathers the remaining sorcerers and initiates in an attempt to defeat Vilgefortz. The end of the season sees Ciri in the hands of Bonhart, a witcher-killer, Geralt sworn to Queen Neve’s service, and Yennefer off to confront Vilgefortz alone.

Finally, on December 31^st, Phil and I watched the finale of Stranger Things (Netflix). The Duffer brothers managed to bring everything around to a satisfying close. Hawkins is occupied by the military and “rockin’” Robin and Steve take over the local radio station to keep the residents informed and secretly organize Hopper’s “crawls” in the upside down in search of Vecna while El trains to confront him. Then Holly Wheeler is abducted and Vecna’s plot is slowly uncovered. I won’t get into the rest of the season, because it is a worthwhile watch, if you’ve been following the series. Mind you, if you’re a fan, or just a completionist, you’ve probably already seen it.

Yes, there are a fair number of pivotal events that happen off screen. Yes, there are plot holes and unresolved plotlines. But it’s an entertaining and dynamic season of an entertaining and dynamic series with much nostalgia and 80s fan service. The ending is bittersweet, with the older gang members reminiscing and making plans to keep in touch, Hopper proposing to Joyce, and Mike’s post-D&D storytelling making hopeful, if fictional, sense of everything. It was also nice to see the next generation of gamers taking over the table.

My first listen of the month was another Great Courses/Audible original collaboration, Witchcraft in the Western Tradition by Jennifer McNabb. From the witch hunts of early 15^th century Europe through the “satanic panic” of the 80s to the current moment of neo-paganism, McNabb examines not only what happened, but the causes and the sometimes-surprising results of witch hunts through the ages.

Then, I listened to Mistletoe Murders 4 by Ken Cupris. Mild spoilers for MM3 if you haven’t listened yet. After finding the body of her former lover and fellow agent under her Christmas tree, Emily Lane is forced into hiding for 11 months with only a voicemail to Sam, the police officer she’s falling in love with. When she returns to Fletcher’s Grove, the entire town is undergoing a facelift, Sam has a new girlfriend, and Sam’s daughter Violet has left for college. Everything’s changed, except murder. This edition features three new mysteries for Emily to solve. Fun, cozy, and just the thing to put you in the mood for the holidays.

My next listen was Grimm’s Fairy Stories, translated by Margaret Hunt. These are all the traditional tales, Little Snow White, Thumbling and Tom Thumb, Brian Rose, Cinderella, Little Red Cap (with alternate ending), The Frog Prince (which is more bizarre than I remember), and more. 25 tales that will give you all the background on the Disney princesses you’ll ever want. Just kidding. A classic.

I also listened to The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett. Yes, another classic I hadn’t read! I loved this gentle fable about the power of nature to heal. When Mary is the only survivor of a cholera outbreak that sweeps her home in India, she is sent to live at her uncle’s house in Yorkshire. She arrives a thin, jaundiced girl with a sour disposition, having only ever been waited on hand and foot by Indian servants while her parents lived their lives as if she didn’t exist. Her uncle, Archibald Craven, is often away and his housekeeper meets Mary at the train. In her first days, she’s told the tragic tale of how her uncle’s wife fell out of a tree in her favourite garden and died, prompting her uncle to lock the garden and bury the key. She soon becomes obsessed with finding the secret garden. It’s absolutely lovely and I really enjoyed the authentic Yorkshire spoken by the narrator. It added so much to the tale.

Then, I read Incantations by N. (Nicole) Milanne, the first self-published book in her projected Jeannie’s Bottle series. This sweet middle-grade tale follows 12-year-old Jeannie, whose mother Clara, disappeared and is presumed dead. After her father’s dental practice fails, Jeannie, her dad, and her little brother move to Shallow Cove to live with Aunt Marid (in Islamic tradition, a marid is a demon like an ifrit), whose vegan cuisine Jeannie considers a trial. At her new school, Jeannie makes friends with UFO-obsessed Rita but is also harassed by “Glam Girl” Leah, and her English teacher, Mr. Queue, gives her the creeps. While helping at Aunt Marid’s second-hand shop, Mr. Queue shows up with a box of donations and Jeannie finds a brass bottle inside, which she promptly takes when it begins to glow.

Later, when she deciphers the inscription and recites it, Anpudru (Dru) the jinn emerges from the bottle. Bound to the bottle, Dru must obey many rules, like speaking in awkward forced rhyme. He can also grant Jeannie one wish per day. Jeannie’s first wish? That Leah can’t talk anymore. That goes about as well as you might expect. The story follows Jeannie as she learns to use her wishes more responsibly, while trying to solve the mystery of why Mr. Queue seems to have an interest in her. The crisis culminates on Halloween night under a blood moon lunar eclipse, and Jeannie learns who Mr. Queue really is.

I finally finished my reread of C.S. Lewis’ The Horse and His Boy. As lovely as I remember. One of my foundational series that got me into writing fantasy.

Next, I listened to Mur Lafferty’s Station Eternity, the first in her Midsolar Murders series. Mallory Viridian seems to attract murders wherever she goes, and she only failed to solve the first few — including the murder of her mother — because she was too young to put the pieces together. But as she grows up, her talent only seems to put her on the list of suspects, and the authorities actively block her from becoming a police officer or private detective. She can’t go to school or hold down a job because if she’s around people, they eventually get murdered. Stuck volunteering at an animal shelter and writing novels about the mysteries she solves to earn a living, Mallory eventually witnesses one murder too many and appeals to the alien-only sentient space station Eternity. If she can live someplace where there aren’t humans around, maybe she won’t be responsible for any further death. Unfortunately, Eternity subsequently accepts human tourists and before they even arrive, another murder — that of Eternity’s alien symbiont, or host — throws Eternity into chaos and threatens the life of every sentient species aboard. Can Mallory solve the murder before Eternity self-destructs? Awesome in every way. LOVED!

I loved it so much, in fact, that I immediately started in on the next audiobook in the series, Chaos Terminal. Mild spoilers for Station Eternity follow. Mrs. Brown, Eternity’s new human host, must travel to Eternity’s home world to learn how to be a proper host to a sentient space station. She takes Eternity’s daughter, the shuttle Infinity, depriving Xan, a former soldier claiming sanctuary on Eternity, of both his living quarters and his symbiotic partner. She also leaves Mallory in charge because of her symbiotic bond with the wasp-like sundry, who maintain Eternity’s systems. Eternity herself will be dormant for the duration of her host’s absence.

When another shuttle from Earth arrives with the new human ambassador, Mallory is completely blindsided to find the other passengers include the SBI agent who claimed the credit for all of Mallory’s solved murders on Earth, Mallory’s best friend from high school, now a quantum physicist, and her brother, Mallory’s high school crush — who, until the moment she saw him again, she had completely forgotten existed (!) Of course, murder follows on the heels of the shuttle’s arrival, and Mallory must try to solve the murder on a dormant station. Worse, she discovers bodies of hundreds of sundry and loses her connection to their hive mind, the very connection that allowed her to solve murders in the first place. How will she solve the murder during all this chaos? Another amazing listen.

So, of course, I headed right into book three of the Midsolar Murders, Infinite Archive. For a few months, Mallory is blissfully murder-free, but her time is taken up with raising the sentient ship Moebius and trying to reconnect with the sundry hive mind. She’s so absorbed in these tasks that she misses a visit from Queen Tina and Ferdinand, her nice (a rock-like alien species, not the adjective) friends from Bezoar … and a bunch of messages from her agent telling her that he’s coming to Eternity on a murder mystery convention on a giant, one-of-a-kind sentient ship called Metis and wants to talk about her next novel and, oh, and by the way he’s signed her up to be the keynote speaker and participate in a murder mystery LARP. By the time Xan prompts her to check her messages, Metis is already in transit. Never having delivered a keynote, Mallory panics and then enters research mode. When she meets with her agent, he wants her to write a cozy mystery instead of waiting for the next murder to happen, causing her to spin out further.

Then Tina returns with a “new friend,” an unknown alien, from Bezoar, and Moebius goes missing, and Mallory’s agent turns up dead in the ladies restroom where his newest author has also been assaulted, and Metis, who contains a copy of the entire internet in pocket dimensions, starts to malfunction, and things get more chaotic from there. An interesting commentary on the writing life, the publishing industry, and fan fiction. Wild but fun. I hope she continues the series.

I’ve listened to Mur’s podcast, I Should be Writing, for years, and she did a lot of research to learn how to write a mystery, like studying Agatha Christie’s entire oeuvre.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: November 2025 update

December 7, 2025 / Melanie Marttila / Leave a comment

Rebooting …

Life in general

What follows may seem like a middle-aged white woman whinging about first world problems, but, you know, I’m learning to listen to my body and honour what it’s telling me. Even small disruptions can dysregulate me, and I hope that sharing my experience will help one of my neurokin validate theirs.

Life isn’t always one crisis after another, even if the world in general seems to be burning down around us.

Now that my travel and writerly events over the last couple of months were over, November started with the return to standard time, which messes me up for a couple of weeks (at least). This happens regardless of whether we “gain” or “lose” an hour.

Occasionally, some politician talks about eliminating the time change, but the various governments and powers that be can never agree on whether to stick with standard time or daylight saving time, and the agreement of one government depends upon the agreement of all the others. So, Ontario won’t repeal DST unless Quebec and the States with which it trades also agree. If one state or province refuses, the proposition is dead.

And now, with Canada’s provincial trade barriers potentially coming down, there may be more domestic players to take into consideration. Even though Saskatchewan has never been on DST. It is to sigh.

Though I’d been using a neti-pot twice a day throughout the year and started taking Ryaltris (also twice a day) since the beginning of September, it became clear in the early days of November that I would be sick for at least part of my month off. I increased the frequency of Cold FX and Emergen-C, planning for the worst but hoping for better.

On the 3^rd, I received an invitation to interview for the new Intake Team our directorate was creating on the 7^th. It was only a half hour, but I did my best, geeking out about learning and development and my passion to align with the new vision for our department. They said they wanted to make decisions fairly quickly, but as of the end of November, I still hadn’t heard.

Nor had I heard whether I would be one of the many employees to be cut, as per the recently passed budget.

Living on tenterhooks about both situations.

No sooner had I started to recover from the time change than I had my double vaccination of flu and COVID shots. Look, I don’t plan these things, and I think it would be difficult to try to predict my reaction to any given set of vaccinations. They change formulation for both every year. Vaccinations were a thing on my to-do list, and I made the earliest convenient appointment the pharmacy had. It just turned out it was on the 12^th.

Besides, other than a day or so of soreness, I’d never had a bad reaction in the past.

Folks, I’ve never had such a bad reaction. This year’s Moderna resulted in two days of Advil-surpassing pain and feeling like utter crap. And, of course, my sinuses ramped up toward infection with the tell-tale post-blow squeal, headaches, and — joy — cough.

I didn’t recover from the soreness and general feeling like crap until the following weekend, though the sinus symptoms persisted throughout the month.

For most of November, daytime temperatures were above zero degrees Celsius, so the various dustings of snow we received melted the next day or were washed away by rain. On the 29^th, however, the daytime temperature remained below zero and so the snow stayed. The dusting we received on the 29^th wasn’t impressive, but the snow that followed on the 30^th required Phil to use the snow blower. And the city ploughs emerged, though they didn’t touch the side streets.

Wonderful things: In the last days of November, I remembered my dreams for almost a week! Nothing story-generating, but weird and fun, nonetheless. And I got a non-dream, super-cool idea for The Fenwoman’s Tale that will make the story SO much better. When I get back to it.

The month in writing

The early days of November were a mess.

Even though I returned from the Writing on the Rocks retreat inspired and ready to devote some time to my writing … I didn’t … (?)

Instead, for some reason, my ND brain decided to start cleaning/reorganizing my office (!) I cleaned out all the candle glass (i.e. the containers candles come in) that had been sitting around my office for a year +, cleaned all the essential oil bottles that had been sitting around for at least as long, cleaned almost all of the glass (hurricane lamps, bowls, jars, etc.) in my office (I always find 1 or two containers I forgot afterward), and removed the prisms from their suction cups in my window and strung them up on a ribbon. I also cut back one of my 2 pothos plants because it was losing leaves at a rapid rate, a sure sign it was pot bound.

My assembly of suncatchers, crystals, and wind chimes.

And then, I realized I was prioritizing the wrong things and returned to writing tasks. This was, in part, why I was late posting about Can-Con, the retreat, and didn’t publish my last update/newsletter until mid-November.

After I took care of those writerly tasks, I finished an overdue review and got back to cutting Reality Bomb down to size.

All of this in the middle of major dysregulation due to the time change and double vaccination and sinusitis. Yay, brain!

By the 23^rd, I finished my second cutting pass. The total word counts currently stands at 115,661. I only managed to cut 2,345 words. But progress is progress.

Then, I returned my attention to my office clean up.

Which … I did not do.

My body and brain demanded REST and I had to obey. I did pull up a couple of older short stories and started to rework them. And I was mulling the next round of RB cuts, including a rewrite of the first chapter, in the back of my mind.

My review of Like Water for Weary Souls by Liisa Kovala came out in The Seaboard Review of Books on the 12^th.

The cover of Like Water for Weary Souls.

My review of Mona Awad’s We Love You, Bunny was released into the wild by The Seaboard Review of Books on the 19^th.

The final SF Canada board meeting of the year (before our AGM) was on the 24^th. We’re a friendly bunch and everything was decided fairly quickly. We’re a go for a December 14^th AGM.

Filling the well

The full freezing moon in Taurus was on the 5^th. It was a rainy day.

I think I’ve finally figured out how to take a good moon photo with my phone! At maximum zoom, this weird grid appears in the corner, and when you focus on the moon, the surrounding sky darkens. When you take the picture, the sky turns black, and the details of the moon come out. Some new feature on my phone. Yay!

After the full, the days alternated. One overcast and possibly raining, the next blue skies filled with sky floof that obscured the waning moon, wherever she was.

The new ivy moon in Scorpio was on the 20^th.

After the new, the sky was consistently cloudy. Also, we were entering the dark times, and my second dog walk of the day was inevitably after sunset.

I attended the virtual launch of The Pollination Field by Kim Fahner on the 5^th. It was a great event co-hosted by Alice Major. Great conversation, great questions, and great poetry. I’m looking forward to the in-person launch in the spring!

Unmasking through our writing with Murgatroyd Monaghan continued Thursday afternoons through November. It’s been a fabulous journey of self-discovery and affirmation. I would highly recommend it to any ND creative folk who want to create/define a process unique to them.

On the 8^th, I attended Books Today: Creativity, Monetization, and the Publishing World with Andrea J. Lee, Sam Hiyate, and Katie Curtin. Interesting, although it ended up being a sales pitch for a course they were offering.

I attended the in-person book launch of Liisa Kovala’s Like Water for Weary Souls on the 9^th. I had a little trouble getting where I needed to go because there was construction at the 2^nd Avenue entrance to Finlandia Koti, and I hadn’t been there since my great aunt was a resident … a long time ago. After being ranted at and threatened by the site foreman (I assumed) he finally told me where I needed to go, and it turns out I arrived just at the interview and reading were getting underway. I love Liisa’s book and wanted to support her. She and Emily De Angelis had a great conversation, and I got to chat with a few friends at the reception. Kahvi oli vahvaa, ja pulla oli hyvää!

The Clarion West workshop Revision: Turning Writing into Art Using Craft Analyses & the Reverse Outline with Naseem Jamnia took place on the 13^th and the 20^th. It was a great session, combining reading like an author with the reverse outline (outlining after first draft completion). Very in my wheelhouse as I tend to be a discovery writer (or pantser) no matter how I try to outline.

I enjoyed a lovely visit with friends from out of town on the 8^th. Our visits always tend to feel short, given we have so much to catch up on, but we had a great time.

I skipped my support group meeting on the 26^th to attend my mother-in-law’s birthday party at a local restaurant. Fabulous food and family festivity! Of course, I had to REST afterward.

My leave with income averaging continued through to the 28^th. I didn’t accomplish much aside from relaxing and resetting.

I had my semi-annual (soon to be tri-annual) dentist’s appointment on the 4^th. My insurance finally approved additional “units” of descaling for me after years of my dentist’s office applying for additional coverage. So now, I have a better chance of staying on top of the staining my teeth are prone to.

On the 10^th, I had my next session with my therapist. Mostly, it was decompressing about the month past, but we’re going to get back to values next time.

On the 12^th, I got my flu and COVID shots. I already told you how that went.

What I’m watching and reading

The first series I finished watching in November was a comfort rewatch of Gargoyles (Disney +). This series was a favourite, and the animation was done by Nelvana, a Canadian company. I watched the whole series when it originally aired (1994 -7). I appreciated the multiple mythologies used to develop the series, and I fell in love with Goliath (I’m definitely not ashamed to say). Keith David has the most amazing voice.

I’ll refer you to the Wikipedia entry, so you can think about whether you’d like to go down the Gargoyles rabbit hole.

I had no idea that Diane Duane and Peter Morwood were on the writing staff in season 2! Now I love the series even more.

Then, I watched the first season of Alien Earth (Disney +). Having finished another Noah Hawley series (Legion) not long ago, I was prepared for some weirdness. Overall, I enjoyed the series, but there are a lot of unanswered questions. FX hasn’t greenlit a second season yet, but Hawley has said that the series is intended to be 5 seasons. It’s supposedly the highest rated offering in the Alien franchise, so we’ll see.

Set after Alien: Romulus but before the events of the original Alien movie, Alien: Earth follows 6 terminally ill children as their consciousnesses are uploaded into synthetic bodies by Boy Kavalier, trillionaire CEO of the Prodigy Corporation. Shortly after their uploading, the “Lost Boys” as the hybrids are known, Wendy, Slightly, Curly, Smee, Nibs, and Toodles are sent to the crash site of the Maginot, a Weyland-Yutani ship. Because of their synthetic bodies, Boy figures they will not be targeted by the alien payload. While they do recover the aliens, including the title creature, Weyland-Yutani wants them back, and shenanigans ensue. As you may have surmised, Peter Pan is the framing metaphor for the series.

Next, I finished the first season of Chief of War (Apple TV +). Jason Momoa executive produced and starred in his latest passion project, relating the struggle to unify Hawai’i under Kamehameha I. Set at the end of the 18^th century when the four major kingdoms of the Hawaiian Islands were in a state of war: Hawaiʻi, Maui, Oʻahu, and Kauaʻi, the series follows Kaʻiana (Momoa), a warrior chief (aliʻi) of Kauaʻi. Picked up by a British ship when he falls off a cliff and is presumed dead, Ka’iana experiences the world outside of Hawai’i and returns with a shipload of guns. They had cultural advisors in every department to ensure authenticity and to present these historical events with as much accuracy as possible. Most of the dialogue is in Hawai’ian, so make sure you have captioning on. An amazing epic about a culture I’ve had the curious for.

Then, I watched Fantastic Four: First Steps (Disney +). I liked it. A friend had just watched it and said it felt like an incomplete story. It wasn’t an origin story (they took care of that in the opening montage), but I also felt it was merely the beginning of a bigger story, which conforms to the subtitle, first steps, and to the postscript advising that the Fantastic Four would return in Avengers: Doomsday. Add to that the post-credit scene in the Thunderbolts*, and it’s very much giving “to be continued …” vibes. For all that, I did enjoy the story and how Sue Storm and Shalla Bal end up being the best characters of the bunch. And the family dynamics were great. The F4 really demonstrate how a healthy family interacts. There are a lot of other reviews and analysis videos out there, so you can peruse those if you wish. For me, Thunderbolts* is still the standout Marvel movie of the last few years, though.

Next, I finished the second season of Hazbin Hotel (Prime). The first season culminated in the ascension of Serpentous/Sir Pentous. In this season, Charlie struggles to spread the good news that redemption is possible while Vox undermines her at every turn and foments war with heaven. Musicals aren’t my favourite, but the songs are bangers (!) And I love the animation style.

I finished watching season five of Only Murders in the Building (Disney +). Lester the doorman was found dead at the end of last season, and then Oliver gets tangled up with a second corpse in the dry cleaner’s next door. The main suspects are four of the richest people in the world, who sabotage the podcast to keep their secrets off air. And one of them buys the Arconia and kicks everyone out to build New York’s first casino (!) It felt for a moment like this would be the final season, but the gang sorted things out. Also, an old frenemy of Mabel’s shows up to complicate things, the board wants to have a robot doorman, and Charles is involved in a drug study. A slightly different tone to the season, but very fun. The murder setting up next season is killer.

Then, because Amazon snagged the rights, I watched both seasons of Helluva Boss (Prime). Blitzo (pronounced Blitz — the O is silent), an imp raised in the circus, goes independent as an adult, after having made a deal with goetia prince Stolas (to whom he was once “sold” as a playmate) to obtain a book that facilitates travel to the mortal realm in return for sexual favours. Yes, this is an adult animated series. Blitzo founds IMP (immediate murder professionals) offering his team’s services to kill mortals at the request of various of hell’s denizens. Blitzo’s team consists of Millie and Moxxie, passionate partners as well as assassins, and Loona, Blitzo’s adopted daughter and hellhound.

This is the background against which the real story — that of love between deeply damaged people — plays out. The main romance is between Blitzo and Stolas. Stolas, trapped in a loveless, arranged marriage, falls deeply for Blitzo. He loves his daughter, Octavia (Via) but, not having had loving parents himself, he cannot show Via affection in a healthy way. Blitzo loves Stolas, too, but feels unworthy of love because of his own upbringing. Other relationships — Millie and Moxxie, Ozzy and Fizzie — compare and contrast, while Blitzo’s relationship with Loona plays against Stolas’ relationship with Via. Amazingly complex for an animated series. Absolutely loved it.

My first listen of the month was Hex Around and Find Out by Molly Harper, the second in her Moonshadow Cove series. This cozy paranormal romance focuses on middle sister Coral (Cora) Seaworth. All three Seaworth sisters have lived in isolation after the deaths of their parents. They’ve had to figure everything out on their own, including that they are fae fin folk as well as witches charged with the tasks of managing the ghosts of Starfall Point and guarding the egg of a kelpie (AKA the Loch Ness Monster AKA a seahorse-dragon). Cora’s the quiet one who’d rather curl up with a book, but when she runs into charming but shiftless Igor (Iggy) Galinsky, it’s not long before irritation turns into infatuation. When Iggy is shot in the ass with a tranquilizer dart, Cora has no choice but to take him to Moonshadow Cove … and keep him there until they can be sure he’s not going to spill the magical beans. Another fun, lighthearted read.

Next, I finished reading Under the Whispering Door by TJ Klune. Wallace is a lawyer and, if we’re being honest, a jerk. When he dies of a heart attack and Mei reaps him at his funeral, he’s desperate to return to the corporate hamster wheel. He has work to do! Instead, he’s taken to the Charron’s Crossing Tea Shop, where Hugo, the owner and ferryman, promises to help him cross over. The ghosts of Nelson, Hugo’s grandfather, and Apollo, Hugo’s dog provide no end of irritation to the newly deceased Wallace. Complicating Wallace’s journey of undead self-discovery are husks (remnants of ghosts who refuse to cross over and wander the world outside the tea shop), charlatan psychics, grieving mothers, and the most terrifying being of all, The Manager. Another lovely, and loving, Klune novel.

So, of course, having read a couple of cozy (or cozy-adjacent), paranormal romances, I headed for the epic grimdark romantasy of Danielle L. Jensen’s The Tempest Blade, the sixth in the Bridge Kingdom series. It’s not out yet in print but Audible released the audiobook early.

This is the second novel of Ahnna’s story. At the end of book five, though Ahnna and James have fallen in love, Ahnna learns that James is part of a plot to claim the Bridge for Harendell, and Ahnna is framed for the brutal murder of King Edward, James’ father. She flees and he pursues her, swearing bloody vengeance. The previous couples — Lara and Aren of Ithicana, and Zarrah and Keris of Valcotta — all have POV chapters in this book. Lara and Keris’ sister Zarhina has ceded to a democracy in Meridrina, but there’s still the rulership/governance of Amarid and Cardiff to settle. Though the ending felt pretty definitive, which may indicate that this 6^th book is the last in the series, I’d think the author would want to ensure all the countries of her world are established with passionate couples that have been through literal hell for one another. Cardiff and Amarid have yet to be explored in detail, and Cardiff has an interesting, witchy culture to delve into. I guess we’ll see when the print book comes out next March.

Then I read Tobias S. Buckell’s The Executioness. Tana’s father is an Executioner, given the task of beheading those who use magic, causing the irrepressible and poisonous bramble to grow. But he’s dying when the call comes from the Jolly Mayor that his services are needed, and because her husband is useless and she needs to feed her family, Tana takes up her father’s axe, dons his hood, and goes to do his duty, in a move reminiscent of Mulan. And like Mulan, Tana is caught up in war when raiders burn her village and abduct her sons. Immediately, she sets out to rescue them. Buckell writes Tana’s grief and rage well.

Next, I finished reading The Book of Life by Deborah Harkness. When Matthew and Diana return to the present, it’s to find that Emily has been murdered. The Congregation’s been up to their old tricks and though the witch responsible is removed, the de Clairmonts still have formidable obstacles to overcome if they want their happily ever after. Like rescinding the Covenant, which prohibits “inter-species” marriage, which Diana and Matthew are in violation of. Like Benjamin, the son Matthew abandoned, who now wants to possess Diana and her children. And like finally finding the Book of Life and restoring its pages so that the riddles of blood rage and weavers can finally be solved. A satisfying conclusion to the All Souls trilogy.

Then, I listened to The Quantum Labyrinth: How Richard Feynman and John Wheeler Revolutionized Time and Reality by Paul Halpern. This fascinating biography documents the development of Feynman and Wheeler’s academic and personal relationship. Over the years, nearly every great mind in physics becomes a part of the story from Einstein and Bohr, through Oppenheimer (both men participated in The Manhattan Project), to Thorne. It’s as much history as it is biography and science book. Fascinating.

I listened to J.M. Barrie’s Peter Pan, having been prompted by Alien: Earth (see above). I hadn’t actually read it before, and it was interesting to compare the ominous narration of Boy Kavalier with the original text. Mother’s “cleaning up” their children’s minds after they’ve fallen asleep. Peter “culling” the lost boys from time to time. More interesting was the narrator’s overt critique of Mrs. Darling as a bad mother because she was kind to her children. Mr. Darling’s outright incompetence is given a pass. There’s a lot in this children’s book that bears examination.

Next, I listened to American Fairy Tales by L. Frank Baum. Originally published in syndication (much like Dickens published much of his fiction) following the publication of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, the twelve stories in this collection include knooks, ryls, and other fairies, how the king of the polar bears loses and then recovers his pelt, a beetle that grants the poor woman who saves him with a pump that produces gold, a storefront mannikin that comes to life, a young cowboy who lassoes Father Time, and other entertaining tales. Many of the stories offer somewhat clumsy morals at their conclusion, however.

Then, I listened to John Wiswell’s Someone You Can Build a Nest In. Sheshesen is a shapeshifting monster just trying to survive and avoid the human monster hunters who killed her mother. When one of those hunters, Catharsis Wolfire, disturbs her hibernation, Shesheshen has no choice but to defend herself. Though she kills Catharsis, the other two monster hunters with him escape. Again, Shesheshen must pursue them if she hopes to protect her home and privacy. They’ll come back and bring even more hunters with them. But Shesheshen is exposed during her investigation in the local town and, like many a monster before her, she is pursued by an angry mob and falls off a cliff, it is thought, to her death.

A kind woman named Homily nurses Shesheshen back to health and the two begin to bond. Distressingly, Shesheshen’s eggs have decided that Homily would make a most suitable nest and Shesheshen is conflicted. Explore the bond they share or implant her eggs and lose Homily forever? Things get even more complicated when Shesheshen learns that Homily is a Wolfire, and her family has dedicated themselves to killing the shapeshifting monster who cursed them years ago, who is apparently Shesheshen, and she has no memory of cursing anyone. A fabulous novel with a series of truly surprising twists. And Shesheshen is autistic-coded! Hear me out. I’ve often felt like and alien or, yes, a monster. I related to Shesheshen HARD.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: October 2025 update

November 12, 2025 / Melanie Marttila

My continuing adventures in caregiving. And buckle up, folks, this is an epic update (!)

Life in general

A picture of a cloudy sky above spruce trees.

It was October 2^nd, and I was cocooned (weighted blanket, weighted eye mask, ear plugs) and sleeping when my phone started ringing around 2 am. I roused and checked the number. No caller ID. From Utah? Who would be calling me from Utah? I ignored it. Then there was a second call.

Later, there were two more from a local number, again, without caller ID. Complex processor me was irritated and perplexed, but I didn’t clue in until my husband woke me up. Emergency services (ambulance and fire truck) were in the driveway (my mom lives next door to us).

The calls were from my mom’s Life Protect service.

When I got dressed and over to mom’s, she was still on the floor, having slipped trying to get out of bed for a midnight bathroom visit. Phil had let the paramedics in, and they got her up, brought her walker, got her to the bathroom and then back into bed. I stood watching and feeling intense shame for not answering my phone. The kind fireman, who probably would have had to break down my mom’s door if Phil hadn’t let them in, tried to reassure me that he would have done the same thing, but I felt judged.

Before they left, the EMTs recommended we get Mom a bed rail.

The rest of the night was sleepless.

The next day, I added both the Utah number, probably a call centre, and the local number, probably emergency services, to my contacts so I wouldn’t make the same mistake in the future. Phil called Silver Cross, who had helped Mom in the past with her walker and chair lift, about a bed rail. They’d have to call him back.

Mom was fine, though sore from her fall.

On Saturday, we had an appointment at the hairdresser, and she suggested that Mom get a keyless lock, so that, if I was away, she could give emergency services the code to get in. We discussed it over supper, and I realized that we needed to get some non-slip furniture pads for her bed feet too. She got rid of the carpet (then a tripping hazard) in her bedroom years ago and had laminate flooring installed. That meant that her bedframe could shift unexpectedly, even though we’d locked the wheels on it. It’s one thing I suspected may have contributed to the fall.

On Sunday, Phil installed the keypad lock. Monday, Silver Cross called and said they had the bed rail in stock, so he got the bed rail, and we installed it. All that was left were the non-slip furniture pads.

Phil found an old silicone cake pan and cut 4 squares. We ensured the wheels were locked and placed the silicone underneath. We both tested the bed for slippage. We thought things were good but waited on Mom’s report. It worked.

The final two weeks of October were a whirlwind.

Off to Can-Con for four days, back for three, then off again to a writing retreat, which was also the start of my LIA.

Good things, fun events, but still dysregulating because of the change to my daily rituals and habits, not sleeping in my own bed, being away from Phil and Torvi, etc.

While I was away in Ottawa, I noticed that my frenemy eczema decided to visit my left ring finger knuckle?! It inevitably pops up in weird places (e.g. my armpits … ?). FYI, it is incredibly difficult to keep the medicated cream on a knuckle.

Random awesomeness: I received a gift package from the Canadian Internet Registration Authority (CIRA). I’m a member and attended their virtual AGM (an event I may have neglected to include … I attend a lot of them!). It was a lovely gift box including:

a dark craft chocolate bar with fleur de sel from The Organic House (delish – all gone – no notes)
pasticinni cookies from Bliss Gourmet Baked Goods (sandwich cookies made with shortbread wafers, buttercream filling, and topped with dark chocolate drizzle – OMG – def all gone)
dark hot chocolate with vegan marshmallows from Peace by Chocolate (love the hot chocolate, never was fond of marshmallows in same)
three sample packs of Cafézia Coffee (light, medium, and dark roast) with cleavers, hyssop, and yerba maté, which I am really enjoying
a can of organic lemon ginger iced tea from the Genuine Tea Co., which I haven’t tried yet (but I’ll let you know when I do)
a jar of cider blueberry reduction from Lupin Pantry, which Phil says he’ll try on chicken some night, and
a package of lemon sorbet cotton candy from flufforia, which I have also not tried yet.

It was like getting an early birthday present!

The month in writing

The second cutting pass on Reality Bomb continued. I’m down to about 116,500 words from 118,000. So progress, but I may have to settle for 115,000 as a goal. Not ideal. More than most publishers and agents would tolerate, even from a science fiction novel.

My review of Kate Blair’s We Bury Nothing came out in the October 1^st edition of The Seaboard Review of Books.

The cover of Kate Blair's We Bury Nothing.

I received my Access Copyright payback payment on the 9^th! It was a pleasant surprise.

My big writerly event of the month was Can-Con in Ottawa from October 17^th to 19^th. I was on two panels, “The Art of Rest” at 8 pm on Friday, October 17, and the second, “The Taste of Sadness: Writing Emotional Dysregulation” at 2:30 pm on Sunday, October 19.

I felt Can-Con deserved its own post.

On the 9^th, there was a meeting of the Wordstock Planning Committee. Though I wouldn’t be present for the festival this year, I wanted to support it as much as possible.

And on the 27^th, there was another meeting of the SF Canada Board. We wanted to get ahead of the holidays this year and prepare for a mid-December AGM.

Filling the well

The full falling leaves super moon in Aries was on the 6^th. As seems to be the usual here in Sudbury, it started raining after noon and continued into the night.

The new vine moon in Libra was on the 21^st.

And the month ended, as it always does, with my beloved Samhain on the 31^st.

As usual, no kids came. I even left the treats out on the stairs while I was at my BD dins at my mom’s. We had souvlaki, lemon potatoes, rice, Greek salad, and pita with tzatziki, and Phil got a small, salted caramel chocolate cake for ‘zert.

On the first, I attended an Access Copyright workshop on Generative AI and Strategic Considerations for Creators and Publishers. It was informative considering the Anthropic Settlement.

I signed up for another Tiffany Yates Martin webinar through Jane Friedman on the 8^th. Mastering Voice in Fiction was, as usual, excellent. Martin does a lot of textual analysis, which helps. Also, she often brings in fun peripheral examples.

On the 15^th there was another Canadian Authors Association and SF Canada webinar presented by Susan Forest. Book Bones was excellent, incorporating multiple story structures. Forest really knows her stuff!

Hole in the Sky: a conversation between Daniel H. Wilson and Nisi Shawl was on the 16^th. A fascinating conversation.

On the 22^nd was Enshittification and the Rot Economy: a conversation between Cory Doctorow and Ed Zitron. Another amazing and topical conversation.

Writing on the Rocks, a Wild Ground Writing Retreat was on the weekend of the 24^th to 26^th. Again, I thought the event was worthy of its own post.

I signed up for another Tiffany Yates Martin webinar through Jane Friedman on the 29^th. The Final Polish was different from her usual offerings. Editing is her wheelhouse, and she provided a lot of concrete examples of how to improve our manuscripts on the line level. There was still textual analysis, but it was applied with an eye to that final polish.

Finally, a friend, Murgatroyd Monaghan, offered a 6-week course, “Unmasking Through Our Writing,” on Thursdays from October 30^th through December 4^th. Of course I signed up for it!

After a summer off family gatherings to accommodate my mom-in-law’s move into my sister-in-law’s house, we got together for Thanksgiving. It was great to see how well my mom-in-law is doing now that she’s settled in. The food was fabulous, and it was wonderful catching up with everyone. We went home with enough leftovers for another meal as well as pumpkin and cherry pies. Of course, I was grateful to have the time to recover after. Even welcome social events drain me.

My next therapy session was on the 14^th, before all my writerly events and travel. We went through various relationships (spouse, friends, colleagues, family, etc.) and chatted about boundaries and whether the relationships in question fed me, drained me, and if the latter, whether it was a required/obligatory energy suck that I’d have to be aware of/account for.

I signed up for a PFLS information session on the new Canadian disability benefit on the 21^st. I don’t qualify, but it was an interesting info session.

Also on the 21^st, I had an appointment with my RMT. As ever, the calming reset I needed.

My support group met on the 22^nd. The topic this month was resilience, which I hope I’m developing.

And on the 24^th, my self-funded leave began!

Finally, on the 30^th, I took Torvi in for her now monthly “touch up” service. Back in August, she reacted poorly to the dryer, and the groomers could therefore no longer bathe her. They converted the rest of the grooming package I had purchased into a gift card. Baths will now be our responsibility. Fortunately, Torvi doesn’t get super dirty until the spring. I’m holding off as long as I can, because I expect she will show aggression to me, as well.

My poor trauma hound.

What I’m watching and reading

Phil and I watched Marvel Zombies (Disney +). This animated series picks up from the “What if … Zombies?!” episode. Kamala Kahn, Riri Williams, and Kate Bishop team up, but are soon tragically separated. Peter Parker recounts how T’Challa defeated zombie Thanos even though he had all the infinity stones. Zemo finally becomes baron … of the Raft. And all may not be what it seems in New Asgard … very fun, but also very dark. We either need another season, or answers in one of the next live action Marvel movies (a possibility, though not confirmed) because the series ends on a crazy cliffhanger.

I finally watched both seasons of Peacemaker (HBO/Crave). I’d avoided it when it first came out, because I didn’t like the character the The Suicide Squad. But eventually, I’d heard enough good about the series that I figured I’d give it a try. I watched the first season in anticipation of the second. And it’s very much an emotional journey for Chris Smith. We get to witness his wound—being forced to fight his brother by their abusive, white supremacist father and accidentally killing him—and how that experience and the need to prove himself to his father shapes him into the man who wants to “make peace, no matter how many people he has to kill to do it.” But a guy that a bald eagle (Eagly) hugs can’t be all bad …

In the first season, Chris, fresh out of a month-long rehabilitation following his apparent death in The Suicide Squad, is recruited to another ARGUS black-ops team seeking to eliminate an alien species, “the butterflies,” who take over peoples’ bodies, killing them in the process. While they defeat the butterflies, it’s belatedly revealed that they were trying to help humanity. Amanda Waller is exposed, and the team breaks up, though they still socialize because they are the definition of a crazy found family.

In the second season, the characters try to make their ways in the world. John Economos is the only one still employed by ARGUS. Emelia Harcourt has been black-listed and resorts to nightly fist fights to feel anything. Leota Adebayo has left her wife to start her own security consulting business, but no one wants to hire her. Adrian Chase/Vigilante carries on in his violent vigilante ways, and Chris can’t find work anywhere. Rick Flagg Sr. is now in charge of ARGUS and wants revenge on Chris (for killing Rick Flagg Jr. in The Suicide Squad), and Chris is in unrequited love with Emelia. In desperation, he enters the quantum unfolding chamber and stumbles into another world where his brother and father (whom he killed in the first season) are alive and are heroes together with his alternate self. Of course, the first thing that happens is that he fights and kills himself. And Eagly gets his own subplot! Honestly, Eagly’s my favourite character. Followed closely by Leota. She’s the heart of the 11^th Street Kids.

It’s a surprisingly heartfelt, if goofy and anime-level bloody, series.

But … if this is not only the second but also the last season of Peacemaker, I confess the finale was unsatisfying. Was it that James Gunn wrote Peacemaker season 2 in the same relatively short period of time during which he was also working on Creature Commandos season 1 and Superman? Was it a matter of too many ideas and not enough figurative time to do them all justice? I personally think that with another two (or possibly more) episodes, all the disparate events (e.g. Eagly’s subplot, love it as I did, could have been eliminated and not affected the main story arc, and what was that with Rick Flagg Sr. uncharacteristically sacrificing his people to explore the worlds in the QUC while laughing it up and doing coke with Lex Luthor’s minions?) could have been better linked and probably made more sense. I also understand that the final scene was not Gunn’s idea, so if it felt weird, there was a reason for it. I won’t spoil the series further, because it is worth watching. Enjoyed immensely, despite the finale-that-didn’t-feel-like-a-finale.

Next, I watched the first season of The PITT (HBO/Crave). Basically, ER meets 24. A shift in the life of a Pittsburgh ER staff with a new class of interns. A lovely, diverse group of doctors and nurses, including at least one neurodivergent character. Everyone got their moment and there was a lot of great character development despite all the medical drama. And drama there was! A mass shooting event at a concert floods the ER with patients. And the acting was superb.

I won’t spoil it, and Tom vander Linden doesn’t either, but I like his analysis of the season:

Then, I finished watching Washington Black (Disney +). This limited series was adapted from the novel of the same name by Esi Edugyan. George Washington “Wash” Black is born to a slave on a Barbadian plantation and is taken as an assistant to the plantation owner’s brother, Christpher “Tich” Wilde. In the process of their scientific investigations, Wash runs afoul of another of Tich’s brothers, who commits suicide, attempting to frame Wash for his murder. Tich flees with Wash and the two have adventures that ultimately result in Wash living in Nova Scotia under an assumed name, because bounty hunters are still after him. A fabulous, touching series told in interwoven timelines (Wash as a child and Wash as an adult) with an amazing ending. Loved! I’ll have to move the book higher up in my TBR pile.

Next, Phil and I watched the second season of Gen V (Prime). Marie escapes Elmira, leaving the rest of the gang behind. Andre pushes his powers too far in an escape attempt and dies (to account for actor Chance Perdomo’s death in a motorcycle accident, RIP). Eventually everyone, including Marie, who is given a mission by Starlight/Annie — discover what Project Odessa is and how to stop it — returns to Godolkin, where the new dean, Cipher, puts them all through extreme training to force their powers to evolve. There are a lot of ties to The Boys, and the ending of the season promises to have the whole gang teaming up with Annie, A-Train, and the resistance for the final season of the main series. There’s a lot more. This season of Gen V was tightly plotted, and they didn’t waste a minute on irrelevant … stuff. I mean, even the guy with a pocket universe in his ass came into play in the climactic scene. Bloody but excellent!

Then, I finished watching the first season of Dept. Q (Netflix). Detective Carl Morck was involved in a shooting that left his partner paralyzed and another officer dead. Now he’s been recruited to solve cold cases, and the first one is a missing prosecutor, Merritt Lingard. It’s a complex and layered series, dealing with Morck’s relationship with his son, PTSD from the shooting, therapy (which he is resistant to) and his antisocial behaviour and anger issues. Though he’s supposed to be working alone, he recruits his partner to help him recover (though Morck realizes he can’t go it alone). He is sent an assistant, Akram Salim, a Syrian police officer who is technically supposed to be a file clerk, but Morck recognizes Salim’s skill and invites him to work the case along with him. Finally, Rose Dickson, a young constable desperate to get out from behind the desk, insinuates herself into the growing team. They mystery is also a complex one and Morck is challenged to save Merritt Lingard before her abductors kill her. Another excellent series.

My first read of October was Like Water for Weary Souls by Liisa Kovala. This historical mystery was set in Sudbury, focusing on the Finnish community in 1932 and 1933, and addressed how the Great Depression affected Sudbury and how “Karelian Fever” affected the Finnish community specifically. Kovala also delved into classism and cultural othering as well as prostitution and women’s reproductive health at the time. Her novel was inspired by real events.

Hanna Kivi and her sister Esteri (Essi) move from their family farm in Wanup into the city. Both find work as domestics but can only afford to take rooms at Rouva Russa’s boarding house in the Donovan, which is also a brothel. When Hanna’s body is found frozen in Nolin Creek, Essi immediately suspects foul play. Hanna would never risk crossing the creek, not after their sister Martta drowned years earlier, but the police want to rule it an accident. Essi’s investigation takes her deep into the city’s underbelly. Was it Pekka Peltonen, the burly drunk Hanna was seen talking to? Was it Matti Korhonen, the Karelian recruiter Hanna was secretly working for? The more Essi learns, the more she worries she didn’t know her sister at all.

Then, I finished reading We Love You, Bunny by Mona Awad. This book and its predecessor, Bunny, are considered dark academia books. I’ve been reading a lot of those, recently. R.F. Kuang’s Katabasis and Charlie Jane Anders’ Lessons in Magic and Disaster both fall into that sub-genre as well.

In Bunny, Samantha Heather Mackie enrolls in the prestigious MFA at New England’s Warren (there are two Warren colleges, one in California and the other in Tennessee, so Awad’s is fictional, and why wouldn’t it be?). She endures the mean girl bullying of the rest of her all-woman cohort until she is inexplicably invited to one of their “slut salons” during which the “Bunnies” take literary creation in a surreal direction, after which Sam goes down a hellish rabbit hole. All puns intended.

In We Love You, Bunny, which serves as both sequel and prequel, Sam has published her debut novel (which, it seems, is Bunny) and returns to Warren on her book tour. Her former cohort has returned as well and kidnaps her after her reading. They tie her up in Kyra, AKA Creepy Doll’s attic, where the aforementioned “slut salons” took place, and take turns holding the axe they used in their rituals to Sam’s neck while they recount their stories, effectively “revising” Sam’s.

Filled with unreliable narrators (really, is there any other kind?), all the snark you can stand (and then some), and even more surreal body horror than the first book, We Love You, Bunny is hilarious and horrific and eerily touching by turns. While it answers some questions raised in Bunny, is asks so many more that you’ll be asking along with several of the characters, “what is real?”

Next, I found a few more non-fiction titles that intrigued me and I listened to The Life and Works of L.M. Montgomery by Kate Scarth. This Great Courses/Audible Original collaboration walks through the life and literary influence of L.M. Montgomery in six lectures on family, place, friendship, creativity, and literature. I enjoyed it quite a bit. I have a confession: though I’ve seen the Megan Follows miniseries and Anne with an E, I’ve never read Anne of Green Gables (!)

So of course, my next read was Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Mongomery. It seems that the Megan Follows adaptation was faithful to the novel. A lovely story, with all the feels. Everyone should read it. Full stop.

Then, I listened to Written on the Dark by Guy Gavriel Kay. It is inspired by 15th century France and the Hundred Years’ War. It depicts versions of the figures Charles VI, Joan of Arc, and Henry V’s campaign in France culminating in the Battle of Agincourt, while the story focuses on the life and deeds of a tavern poet, inspired by François Villon. It is set in Ferrieres, Kay’s analogue of France.

Poet Thierry Villar is about to burgle a sanctuary to pay off a debt on a cold, winter night when the provost of Orane presses him into service as a spy to discover who killed the king’s brother, the Duke de Montereau. Villar’s investigations bring him to the attention of the king and queen of Ferrieres, poet Marina di Seressa, land him in prison, force him to exercise his atrophied skills as a lawyer, and to witness political and military machinations that change the world as he knows it. Villar serves as an everyman, swept up in grander schemes, but in the end, his words, written on the dark, fit the purposes of greater men and women. Justice is meted out, women and queer characters find their places in the world, and love is found and lost, as ever.

The epilogue ties several of the novel’s characters to events in others of his novels (A Brightness Long Ago and The Sarantine Mosaic). Excellent!

Next, I opted for another Great Courses/Audible Original selection, The Power and Persona of Catherine de’ Medici by William Landon. Catherine was seen as a political commodity for most of her childhood and several European royal families vied for her, but France won out. Stuck in a loveless, initially childless marriage, Catherine outlived her husband and all her male children. She was still the power behind the throne not only for her husband, but for the three of her sons who became king of France after him. Fascinating!

Then, I listened to The Downloaded 2: Ghosts in the Machine, by Robert J. Sawyer. The downloaded survivors of the nuclear disaster that left them stranded in The Downloaded have been working diligently to launch two new missions in light of the meteor about to strike Earth in an extinction-level event. The ex-convicts, led my Roscoe Kadoulian will be resettling on Mars, is a secondary colony on the opposite side of the planet from the main Martian colony. The astronauts, led by Captain Letitia Garvey, will upload to the quantum system again and head to Zeta Tucanae to complete their original exploratory mission. A fatal accident means that Roscoe must upload — something he’d sworn never to do again — as well. What he finds in the quantum system is both a miracle and the potential doom of every uploaded consciousness in the system. An excellent, suspenseful story.

Finally, I listened to Margaret Atwood: Modern Myth-Maker, by Jennifer Cognard-Black. In yet another Great Courses/Audible Original collaboration, Cognard-Black positions Atwood as an author who rewrites women’s myths with intention. While most of the short audiobook focuses on The Handmaid’s Tale, many of Atwood’s other works are referenced. Gave me thinky thoughts.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: September 2025 update

October 5, 2025 / Melanie Marttila

Getting back into creative life with an in-person event!

A picture of a dusk sky with dark clouds and a tree silhouetted in the lower left corner.

Life in general

I overdid it, to be honest. Though I’d known about the reading since the end of July and had all the arrangements made for over a month, though I took the two days off so I would have time to drive down and back, though I tried to conserve spoons in the days leading up to my trip to London, I was still wiped afterward. And during, to be honest.

I was frazzled about missing a turn that would have allowed me to bypass Toronto altogether (Google Maps announced that it had lost GPS after Parry Sound). I was distressed about being late for the reading. I was frustrated by the traffic on the 401 that was consistently heavy all the way to London. I was further distressed because I was stuck waiting for a train to pass through London, mere blocks from the hotel because I wanted to check in before heading to Mykonos.

But once I arrived, the Apposite Poetry Series organiser, Roméo, was wonderful and calming and had a cigarette with me before we went in (yes, I’m still smoking). The intimate group was welcoming and supportive and did much to reassure me that my being late was not the disaster I’d convinced myself it was. I listened to some fabulous poetry and fiction excerpts. I found the mic’s sweet spot and rocked my reading. I read from The Art of Floating and shared some of my autistic series. I sold two books and traded two more.

I had a nice, light supper of Greek salad and tzatziki with pita and went back to the hotel to relax. But my brain was in overdrive, and it was a long time before I could get to sleep.

Took an easy morning, had a swim and hot tub, showered, packed, and checked out early so I could meet with a friend before I was on the road again.

The journey home was uneventful, but a burrito I nabbed on the way home may have resulted in food poisoning. I was up vomiting Thursday night and took a sick day Friday.

Though I rested all weekend, I was still dysregulated come Sunday. It was a big week. I should have planned better, but I didn’t have enough leave to take more days off.

I unpacked the trip with my therapist (see below).

The following week at work was rough, complicated by a disappointing visit to the optometrist—the only way to fix the problem with my lenses was to get new ones—and someone sideswiping me and then disappearing on my way home.

Good things came out of the week too, though. I submitted my report, funding request form, and travel claim to the League of Canadian Poets and gratefully received my funding the following week. I responded to an expression of interest to join a new team. And I had an interesting discussion with my team lead about diverting to another project leading up to my next leave with income averaging.

Things were very much changing in a positive direction.

The new project was interesting, though I think that it may be more than I can do between now and the end of October. We’ll see how things play out.

Thing that made me happy: A lovely garter snake serpentined its way across my path on a dog walk. Torvi didn’t notice, which is weird. Normally she leaps after every bird, chipmunk, squirrel, rabbit … etc. she sees. Guess she (the snake) was a gift just for me.

Random thing: A pileated woodpecker crashed into my mom’s picture window while I was visiting her. He was stunned and I was concerned, even called a local wildlife rescue, but after a few minutes, he lifted his head, though he was still sprawled on the driveway. After another ten minutes, he tucked in his wings and got his feet under him. Another ten and he flew away. A good ending to what could have been a sad story.

More things that brought me joy:

The month in writing

I started my second cutting pass of Reality Bomb. Just another 8,000 words …

On the 3^rd, I was advised of the programming for this year’s Can-Con. I’ll be in two panels! The first will be “The Art of Rest” at 8 pm on Friday, October 17, and the second is “The Taste of Sadness: Writing Emotional Dysregulation” at 2:30 pm on Sunday, October 19. Whee! Much excite!

On the 8^th, my review of Thyme Travellers was published in The Seaboard Review.

The cover of Thyme Travellers, edited by Sonia Sulaiman.

My big event of the month was the Apposite Poetry Series open mic on September 10^th. I took the 10^th and 11^th off work, travelled down on the 10^th, checked into my hotel, and made my way to the venue only a little late.

Enjoyed a light supper while I listened to some lovely poems and novel excerpts. Then, I read from The Art of Floating and shared a few poems from my autistic series. After a second round of the open mic, I was happy to sell a couple and trade a couple more copies of my collection.

London has a fabulous literary community, and I was pleased to be among them!

After the reading, I returned to the hotel for a relaxing evening. In the morning, I went for a swim and met a friend for a croffle (croissant waffle with Nutella and bananas) breakfast at a lovely Filipino café called Happiness, before taking my time driving home, returning the rental car, and, again, relaxing.

I have discovered the caramel toffee cold brew with espresso foam from Tim Hortons, and my life has changed forever (!)

Last month’s bit of vague-booking can now be revealed! My poem “Vasilisa,” originally published in Polar Borealis 30, will be included in Year’s Best Canadian Fantasy and Science Fiction Volume 3! The first two volumes were Aurora Award winners, and the rest of the TOC is indeed the best of the best. So, so honoured to be in such illustrious company!

On the 22^nd, my review of Birch and Jay by Allister Thompson was published in The Seaboard Review.

The cover of Birch and Jay by Allister Thompson.

The author reached out to me on Instagram and said I really “got” what he was trying to do with the novel. It’s so gratifying to know that my review made a difference. I sincerely hope it helps bring more readers to the book.

The Wordstock AGM was on the 29^th at the Main Branch of the Greater Sudbury Public Library. The lineup was announced and I’m so sad I’ll miss it (it’s the same weekend as my writing retreat).

Also on the 29^th was our regular, quarterly board meeting for SF Canada, where we, once again, made decisions and got shit done. It was a big day for writerly business.

Filling the well

The full changing colours moon in Pisces was on the 7^th. It was also a lunar eclipse, but not visible in the Americas. Caught the Time and Date replay and did a guided breathwork plus visualization meditation.

The new hazel moon in Virgo was on the 21^st. And there was a partial solar eclipse, again not visible in North America. Time and Date to the rescue. I celebrated with a grounding guided meditation.

And fall arrived on the 22^nd. Rainy day here in Sudbury. Did the altar thing, switched over to fall scents, and brought out the fall door décor.

I’ve started signing up for some online coworking sessions through a couple of groups I’m a part of. It’s nice to have someone, or a group of someones, to body double. It’s motivating and gentle. Demand-free.

On the 9^th, I attended “The future belongs to indie authors: How to stand out in the era of AI” with Kern Carter. Though I know myself well enough that I will probably not be self-publishing anything, it was an interesting session and fed my learning mutt’s appetite.

I signed up for the “Waning Moon Writing Workshop” with Catherine LaSota on the 15^th. It was a lovely, witchy session.

The CAA and SF Canada webinar series on the 17^th was presented by Dr. Melissa Yuan-Innes. “Medical Errors 101” was wonderful! A lot of great insights from a real doctor. Verra cool.

I inadvertently double-booked the 18^th. Fortunately, the webinars followed one another. The first was “Introduction to Structural Editing” presented by Editors Canada. Molly was excellent!

The second workshop on the 18^th was the first session of “Beyond Worldbuilding” with Kate Maruyama, a 2-part Clarion West workshop. The second session was on the 25^th. Maruyama’s approach is a little different from some others I’ve encountered. Everything starts with the characters and spirals outward from there. Very good!

I had an orthotics checkup on the 2^nd. All was well, but my running shoes are starting to wear unevenly. I’ll be getting a new pair for winter and learned that I can donate my “gently used” shoes to my pedorthist to pass along to people who don’t have shoes. I was getting distressed by having to throw out my old shoes. I go through about a pair (or more) a year (!) This is a great solution.

On the 3^rd, I had a phone appointment with my doctor to get a note in support of my accommodation request to continue to work from home. And now that has been settled until the end of fiscal (Mach 31, 2026). It’s a relief.

My next therapy session was on the 15^th. I processed my crazy week, and we talked about the effective deployment of spoons.

My support group resumed after summer break on the 24^th. The topic was life transitions and major changes.

What I’m watching and reading

My first watch of the month was a movie: The Thursday Murder Club (Netflix). Great performances from a fabulous cast and a clever dual mystery. Red herrings abound, and the solve is a satisfying surprise. Very recommend (and no, that’s not a typo).

Then, Phil and I finished watching season 2 of Wednesday (Netflix). I think I liked it better than the first season. Wednesday loses her precognitive abilities and gets a new spirit guide. Aadams family secrets are revealed (and make sense of seemingly senseless events). Wednesday and Enid have friendship growing pains (mostly because Wednesday’s keeping secrets of her own) and Wednesday gets a(nother) stalker. There’s a breakout from the asylum Tyler (the hyde) is being treated. And there are more (moar!) hydes in the world. Grandmama makes a grand entrance. The new principal is evil! Wednesday almost dies twice (to her immense joy). And the new (and some returning) guest stars and cameos are, well, stellar. It was a lot of fun.

Next, I watch The Old Guard 2 (Netflix). In the first film, Andy (Andromache) lost her immortality after finding Nile, the first new immortal to be found in a long time but decided to continue her mercenary missions with the other immortals in her crew. The sequel starts with the recovery of an iron maiden from the depths of the ocean in which Quỳnh, another immortal, has been trapped for centuries. Discord, the first immortal uses Quỳnh to lure Andy, and more importantly Nile, into her clutches. Nile is the last immortal and can stop the healing abilities of other immortals if she wounds them, and Discord wants to use Nile to regain her lost immortality. The movie ends with all the immortals but Andy and Quỳnh abducted by Discord, Andy regaining her immortality and Quỳnh losing hers, and the two of them heading off to rescue the rest of the immortals from Discord. Great fight scenes. An entertaining sequel.

I finished watching the third season of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds (CTV Scifi). It was fun. The final two episodes were heart wrenching. I may have shed a tear at the finale. There was a lot of nostalgic fan service, but there was something bothering me about this third season.

Allow me to elucidate.

In the second season, Una was put on trial for being a member of a genetically engineered species and hiding it from Starfleet. It was an interesting episode that explored Starfleet’s unjust discrimination and Una’s personhood and right to remain in Starfleet. In contrast, this season engaged in a lot of biological essentialism (the idea that biology is destiny), pigeonholing the Gorn as monsters (until the penultimate episode), the Vezda as pure evil, Vulcans as purely logical and unable to lie (even though this is shown to be culturally, but not genetically, true in canon), and Battel, due to becoming a hybrid human/Gorn/Illyrian as the perfect warrior to defeat the Vezda. There is also a lot of juvenile relationship drama, all of it heteronormative. Like I said off the top, I enjoyed the season (and I’m still in love with the modulated theme—so hopeful!), but it has problems, particularly when you think of what Star Trek as a whole has represented over the years. Diversity! Acceptance! A fictional space to wrestle with current issues! Yes, ST: SNW is a prequel series, and Starfleet may not be as utopian/enlightened as it is in other, chronologically later series, but there’s room to be relevant to the times we live in. Even TOS did that.

The recent merge with Skydance may have an influence, but much of season three would have been written/shot/produced before that happened. Unless internal rumours heralded the change.

If you want to explore this topic further, I’ll direct you to Jessie Gender After Dark (she can get a bit ranty, but I agree with her desire for ST to do more/better) and Reactor’s articles on ST: SNW.

Then, I finished watching The Hardy Boys, seasons 2 and 3 (Disney +). I had watched season 1 years ago on Netflix, but then it disappeared. When it showed up on Disney +, I decided to catch up. It’s a bit wild.

In the first season, Frank and Joe are embroiled in a series of mysteries that all eventually lead back to their own family and a secret society called the Circle. They find an artefact called the Eye and the resolution to the main mystery lands their grandmother in prison.

Over the course of season two, Frank, having absorbed the power of the Eye, has a series of visions of the past and his great-grandfather, which lead him and Joe to discovering a crystal, another artefact related to the Eye. This complicates the group’s search for a missing classmate, whose recovery reveals a sinister plot called Project Midnight involving a machine that can send people’s consciousnesses into the crystal. Frank is kidnapped by Adrian Munder, who intends to rescue his brother, who is trapped in the crystal, and transfer his consciousness into Frank’s body, trapping Frank in the crystal. Though Joe and the gang rush to the rescue, they are unaware that the Hardy boys’ great-grandfather George was also trapped in the crystal and now inhabits Frank’s body.

Season three involves a hunt for yet another artefact called the Core, tied to the crystal and the Eye. Before long, Joe realizes that Frank is not himself and recruits the gang to break into Project Midnight and get Frank’s consciousness back in his body. The plot then pulls a 180, introducing a new villain with a plot to use the crystal, Eye, and the Core to plunge the world into VR, ostensibly to save it from climate change and other manmade disasters (whaa?!). Eventually, Frank and Joe share the power of the Eye with the world to stop the simulation.

Like I said, it was wild.

Phil and I watched season three of Foundation (Apple TV +), which keeps getting better and better. Gael has used cryosleep to extend her life and is hurtling toward the next crisis for the Foundation—the Mule, a powerful psychic who has the power to destroy both the Foundation and Empire. The Second Foundation is thriving, but no one outside of the community knows of its existence. The current Dusk basically destroys Empire, including Damerzel, their illicit robot, and decides to rule alone as Darkness. There’s a lot more, but this is a series that I’ll encourage you to watch. It’s fabulous!

Then, I joined a Zoom watch party for Superman (2025). The conflict between Jarhanpur and Boravia seems to be a direct commentary on various current atrocities, most notably Russia’s invasion of Ukraine and Israel’s genocide in Gaza. Krypto is an adorable doggo thug. Guy Gardner/Green Lantern is an unrepentant asshole. I wish they’d given Hawkgirl more to do. Mr. Terrific is just that. And Superman himself? Human to the core and so compassionate he tries to save everyone, even dogs and squirrels, even the kaiju Lex Luthor unleashes on Metropolis. As for Lex, he’s SO over the top. Despite the intellectual differences, he seems to be an analog for a certain despot-in-office. And the supporting cast is awesome too. Loved it!

I’ve seen a bunch of great commentary about the new Superman online, but I’ll direct you to Princess Weekes’ video on the topic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qS2k5ah8WNg It’s full of thinky thoughts.

My first listen of the month was The Wild Robot Escapes by Peter Brown. Our wild robot, Roz is refurbished and sent to work on a farm. As she is wont to do, Roz loves her human family and the dairy cows she tends, but she misses Brightbill and all her animal friends on the island. She doesn’t belong in the human world and when Brightbill and his flock of geese come to visit, the children see her talking to them. They realize all the stories Roz has been telling them are true and decide to help her escape. Another lovely, lovely book.

Then, I read Charlie Jane Anders’ Lessons in Magic and Disaster. Jamie, a trans academic and witch, is trying to finish her PhD, but her mother Serena has never recovered from the death of her partner years ago. In an attempt to bring her mother out of her depression and isolation, Jamie teaches her about magic, but Serena misuses it, to disastrous results (hence the title). It’s a story about love and redemption. Every character is complex and layered. No one is completely innocent, and no one is completely horrible, either. And the ending is equally complex. So sad and yet satisfying! I loved this book SO HARD!

Many of the 18^th Century authors Anders cites as part of Jamie’s research are, in fact, actual authors (though the book, Emily, and the annotated manuscript that becomes the key to Jamie’s dissertation are invented). She’s written about her influences for the novel on her newsletter Happy Dancing. I’ll invite you to subscribe and peruse her archives.

Next, I finally read Audrey Niffenegger’s The Time Traveler’s Wife. I’ve seen both the movie adaptation and the one season of the cancelled series. The book is so much better and so much more devastating than either. And that’s all I’ll say about this book. LOVED!

Then, I finished Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater. Grace was attacked by wolves when she was 11. Now 17, she watches the woods, not in fear, but in longing. There has always been one wolf Grace thinks of as her wolf. But when a boy from her school, Jack, disappears and is suspected to have been killed by wolves, it results in a frenzied hunt by the men of Mercy Falls. Grace’s wolf is shot and turns into a human boy in her arms. Sam is the werewolf who saved Grace when she was 11 and the two share a deep connection that defies the fear and hatred of both humans and wolves.

I finished reading R. F. Kuang’s Katabasis. In classical mythology, katabasis is a descent into the underworld, like Orpheus and Euridice, Persephone, or Dante’s Inferno. In fact, these works are references to the magickal scholars in Katabasis. Alice Law believes she made a mistake that caused the death of her doctoral advisor Jacob Grimes and decides to make the journey to hell to recover his soul for the sake of her academic career. As she is preparing, Peter Murdoch, a fellow Grimes advisee and Alice’s academic rival, discovers what she’s doing and offers to go with her. Like Inanna’s journey into the underworld, Alice and Peter slowly have everything stripped away from them as they traverse the courts of hell. When all their secrets are laid bare, Alice must come to terms with what she really came to hell to do, and whether she really wants to do it anymore. Another amazing read!

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: August 2025 update

September 7, 2025 / Melanie Marttila

If I don’t accept your “gift,” it’s yours to keep.

Life in general

I was introduced to a story about the Buddha. It goeth thusly: a man goes up to the Buddha and calls him a fraud. The Buddha says nothing. The man angrily demands to be acknowledged, to hear the Buddha’s response to his accusation. After a while, the Buddha asks the man, “Who does a gift belong to if it is refused?” “To the person who gives it,” the man replies. “I have refused your anger. You may keep it,” the Buddha says and returns to his meditation.

This story is about not taking on other people’s opinions of you, not taking on unnecessary emotional (or other) labour, and about maintaining healthy boundaries. This is my current challenge.

Things were going well, but by the middle of second week of full-time work, I could feel the tired creeping up on me again. I could feel my level of meh and frustration with the ongoing project rise. It didn’t help that the goalposts were moved again. I wondered if I’d ever get out of the seemingly endless cycle of eternally revised content.

I tried some additional accommodations in the interest of conserving spoons during day job hours to devote them to my creative work. I have a new kitchen timer, so I can put it on for 20 minutes to give myself a reminder to step away from my desk when I need to. I don’t even mind the ticking, because it keeps me from going down the hyperfocus rabbit hole.

It works well … if I remember to use it, which is the problem.

I started standing for my workday. I have an adjustable desk at home and can raise and lower it as needed. Again, it helps keep me present … but my feet, knees, and lower back don’t enjoy it.

I use the fitness ball to balance and bounce around during meetings, but there haven’t been many of those this month with summer holidays and all.

It’s a work in progress. I’ll keep trying things until I find a system/structure that works.

Another lovely bit of good news, though. I was able to apply for another self-funded leave from the last week of October to the end of November. It’ll be another stretch off for self-care and maintenance. Recovery is all, folks!

In other wellness news, I’ve been swimming once a week since July 1^st, building up my stamina and refamiliarizing myself with the strokes. It’s been lovely getting into the water again. I paused in the second last week of August when the weather went from sweltering to below seasonal. Call me a chickenshit, but I’m getting too old to swim when it’s chilly. I know that, technically, the water should feel warmer when the air is cool, but I’m considering my sensory capacity and relative comfort.

I think I’m done lake swimming for the year, though.

The month in writing

After finishing the first cutting pass of Reality Bomb, I took a break to finish up some reviews, a creative non-fiction flash piece, and some poetry (I have a looooong backlog of ideas yet to be committed to the page).

I wrote 6 poems and finished drafting my CNF flash piece.

In late July, I was presented with the possibility of a September poetry reading through the Apposite Poetry Series in London, Ontario. I didn’t announce anything at the time because the organizers were still trying to confirm another poet. They’d let me know once they heard back from the other poet.

Not wanting to miss the LCP poetry reading series funding deadline on August 1^st, I applied. I could always withdraw after if the opportunity didn’t pan out.

But on the 4^th, I received the confirmation! I would be the featured reader on September 10^th! And on the 15^th, I was advised that my reading funding had been granted! Leave from work granted. Hotel and rental car booked. I’m all set.

Apposite Poetry Reading Series open mic featuring Melanie Marttila. Wednesday, September 10th at 6:30 pm. 572 Adelaide St. N.

Also on the 10^th, this lovely review came out in On Creative Writing: Neurodivergent author Melanie Marttila on the power of reclaiming your authentic voice. It’s de-gorgeous, and I’m so happy.

On the 9^th, I received an invitation for one of my poems published in 2024 to be included in a year’s best anthology! Eeeeeee! Contract is signed, but I will have to wait on announcing anything further until the publisher begins formal promotion.

The SF Canada financial review meeting was on the 8^th. Just preparing all the financial materials for our auditors and addressing a couple of bits and bobs.

On the 30^th, I put my name in for the Wordstock festival planning committee. I don’t know how much I’ll be able to help, but I’ll do what I can.

Filling the well

August 1^st was Lughnassadh. It happened to be the last day of a break in the heat. It was a lovely first harvest and I thought about all the things I’ve done for myself, my mental health, and my creative life in the last couple of months, lit my altar, and focused on gratitude.

The full ricing moon in Aquarius was on the 9^th. Super hot. Did a guided “Lion’s Gate” meditation.

The news holly moon in Virgo was on the 23^rd. Things were cooling down. Did another guided meditation.

I registered for the League of Canadian Poets open mic night on the 6^th. It was lovely to read and to hear all the wonderful poetry on my fellow LCP members.

On the 15^th, I attended Practical Tools to Help You Write Layered Stories, Not Stereotypes with Ángela Álvarez Vélez, an Authors Publish webinar. It was an excellent presentation.

I signed up for the Worldshift Speculative Fiction Writers’ Summit from the 20^th to the 23^rd. A lot of my favourite writing craft experts were speaking, and I watched everything on replay because work.

My first in-person appointment with my new therapist was on the 7^th. Mostly, it was me, talking her ear off, but I did receive a handy guide called the ND polyvagal ladder. I’m to monitor where I am on the ladder daily as a form of mindfulness and to check in with myself so I can hopefully detect and deescalate meltdowns, shutdowns, and burnouts in the future.

I had a massage on the 13^th. Ahhhh! Rest and digest, baby! Parasympathetic nervous system win!

My last appointment with my EAP therapist was on the 20^th. It was a lovely farewell to a therapist who helped me a fair amount in a short period of time.

Then, I signed up for The Force of Choice: Mastering Your Emotional Reactors with Pat Tallman on the 30^th.

What I’m watching and reading

Phil and I watched the final season of The Sandman (Netflix).

I debated whether I’d even mention this because of the substantiated accusations of SA against the author and the possible complicity of his then partner. It is deeply disappointing to me that a person capable of writing such beautiful stories could also be capable of such abuse … and that he attempted to use his neurodivergence as an excuse for said abuse. ND people are, first and foremost, people, and everyone has the potential for evil within them. I believe the women who have come forward. Phil is still in denial. It’s a difficult circle to square. In the end, I’ve decided to try appreciating the art of this problematic man separate from him, but also to attempt to see if I can find signs of the truth in his work.

Morpheus/Dream creates both beauty (dreams) and terror (nightmares). In retaliation for his decades-long imprisonment, Dream traps his captor’s son in an eternal dream. That he later, at Death’s prompting, releases the young man several decades later, doesn’t erase the lost years of life the now-octogenarian must contend with in the time he has left. Dream creates the Corinthian, a nightmare who becomes a serial killer. That he eventually destroys his nightmare and later recreates a moral version of him to help Joanna Constantine find and protect Daniel (Dream’s successor) doesn’t erase the deaths the Corinthian caused or Dream’s responsibility for letting them happen. And having the reformed Corinthian and Joanna get together in the denouement is all kinds of ick. Dream sentences the woman he supposedly loves to hell for 10,000 years because she rejected him. That he later attempts to free her (only to discover that Lucifer has abandoned hell and by default released her before Dream got there) is a totally insufficient act that he only takes because Death (again) nudges him. He declines to help his son, Orpheus, resulting in the events of Orpheus and Euridice, and Orpheus’ living for 2,000 years as an immortal, disembodied head. That he, (again) at Death’s urging, decides to grant his son’s wish and kill him … too little, too late, really. Even though it results in his death—suicide by Fury for the crime of shedding family blood—which he first avoids, nearly resulting in the destruction of his realm and all its dreams, and then neatly sidesteps by voluntarily giving himself into his sister’s care, really falls short of true repentance or change. When the new version of Daniel/Dream attempts to recreate Fiddler’s Green as he has with several other dreams destroyed by Lyta Hall, the Furies’ catspaw, the dream declines. Dream will have to get along without Fiddler’s Green and his sage advice. There must be consequences. In all, Dream perpetrates all kinds of evil and though a Big Deal is made about how much he’s changed, he hasn’t learned a thing by the time he takes Death’s hand. His siblings and subjects tolerate his abandonment and abuse and continue to advise and love him. This is the author’s wish fulfillment coming through. Newsflash: no one gets away with abuse forever.

This is just my opinion, at first blush, within a couple of days of finishing the series.

Then, I finished watching the first season of The Librarians: The Next Chapter (CTV Sci-fi). It wasn’t bad. A new librarian displaced in time who wants nothing more than to return to his beloved Anya 200 years in the past. A new guardian-in-training, desperate to prove herself, and two new sidekicks, one of whom owns the castle the current annex is in, and a former university professor kicked out of academia because of his social media influencer/conspiracy theorist obsession with the library. Stone even returns to bookend the series. They neatly tied off the time issue and storyline at the end of the 12-episode run, which was a smart move in case they weren’t renewed, but reports are that filming of season 2 began in May. Goofy shenanigans abound. I’ll watch season 2.

Next, I watched K-Pop Demon-Hunters (Netflix). I saw an interview with the Huntr/x voice cast on New Rockstars. Arden Cho (voice of “Rumi”), May Hong (voice of “Mira”) and Ji-young Yoo (voice of “Zoey”) were absolutely lovely! Zoey is the most clearly autistic-coded. But Mira has a flat affect and shows signs of rejection-sensitive dysphoria. And Rumi’s secret, half-demon nature is something she’s had to mask her whole life. The tiger demon, Derpy, is OCD. I’m obsessed.

The story is all about overcoming shame and learning to love yourself. That’s all I’ll say. Cause this one’s a feel-good banger and so is the soundtrack.

Then, I finished watching the first season of Revival (CTV Sci-fi). It’s based on a comic I haven’t read. In the small town of Wausau, Wisconsin, recently deceased people resurrect. Police officer Dana Cypress learns that her little sister Martha (Em) is a Reviver, and they try to find out who killed Em and how Revival Day happened. There’s a lot more to the series, but it was good enough to withhold the details and invite you to watch. This is not your typical zombie story.

I finished watching the Disney + limited series Eyes of Wakanda. The animation was great, and so was the story about the War Dogs and the recovery of vibranium artefacts through the ages. And an Iron Fist! And a time travelling Black Panther queen! And a fabulous tie-in to the first Black Panther movie! They packed a lot of lore into these four half-hour episodes.

Finally, I watched Thunderbolts* (Disney +). This is the best Marvel movie I’ve seen in years. It’s the perfect exploration of what it means to be a hero. It’s not about the fight scenes, though there are those. It’s about helping each other weather turbulent times and the mental health challenges that inevitably come with them. No notes (from me … others have done their analyses—look ‘em up if you’re so inclined).

My first listen of the month was The Bridge Kingdom, the first in the Bridge Kingdom series by Danielle L. Jensen. I read the 5^th book in the series back in May and decided to catch up. In this book, Princess Lara and her 12 half-sisters have been indoctrinated into a deep hatred of Ithicana through a regimen of torture over the course of 15 years. One of them will be chosen to become the wife of the new king of Ithicana, Aren, and deliver the Bridge into their father’s hands. But when Lara overhears her “mentor” discussing how everyone but the chosen bride will be killed to prevent word of the plot from getting out of their isolated desert compound, she concocts a scheme of her own to spare her sisters’ lives and sacrifice herself to the mission.

When she arrives in Ithicana, though, Lara learns that everything she was taught about Ithicana is wrong, but not before she inadvertently sends her father the key to Ithicana’s destruction. As I observed back in May, the series is written in a series of duologies. The first book brings the protagonist and their budding romantic relationship to the breaking point before resolving it in the second book. An enjoyable, but dark series.

I decided to finish the Bridge Kingdom series (whatever was available on Audible, anyway) and continued with The Traitor Queen. Lara is the eponymous queen, living in exile after she handed her father the key to possessing the bridge. Ithicana still fights, but when Lara learns that her father has taken Aren captive, she braves the Tempest Seas to return to Ithicana. She has a plan to free Aren and defeat her father, and no expectation of redemption.

I kept rolling with Audible into book 3, The Inadequate Heir. This one dials back the timeline to the onset of Maridrina’s attack on Ithicana, which started when crown prince Keris made an agreement with King Aren to use the bridge to travel to university in Harendell. It was a ruse and Keris an unknowing dupe. His escort viciously murders their Ithicanian guards and begins the invasion, Keris bound to prevent his interference. Keris has a reputation for being bookish (the worst insult in a kingdom of warriors) and of spending his nights drinking, gambling, and womanizing. The only reason he is heir is because all his older brothers have either died in the war against Valcotta or have been killed, often by one another, in their attempts to win their father’s favour. But after this incident, Keris, never his father’s greatest supporter, decides to actively work against him.

Zarrah has been chosen by her aunt, the Empress of Valcotta to be her heir over her cousin Berman. King Silas of Maridrina murdered her mother and bound Zarrah, then a child, beneath her mother’s crucified body, her mother’s head in her lap. Now she wants to kill every Maridinian, starting with the crown prince.

Both Keris and Zarrah are inadequate heirs in this enemies-to-lovers romantasy.

Next, because I’m also reading print and e-books, just at a slower rate, I finished Birch and Jay by Allister Thompson. This post-apocalyptic novel is framed in a fictive future present in which a new group of Seekers is graduating in the community of Norbay decades after climate crisis has left the world in ruins. Jay and his partner Birch, elders of the community, tell the tale of his first mission to the graduates. Jay is sent to Queen’s University but is captured by the militia of Great Toronto—a newly-risen fascist state ruled by The Six—and tried as a spy. Birch, though not a Seeker, follows Jay and runs into troubles of her own.

The worldbuilding in this novel is great. Norbay (North Bay) was founded by women and like-minded men who wanted to learn from the mistakes of the past and rebuild human society in a sustainable way. But they need information to do that. Hence the Seekers, who go out into the ravaged world, by bicycle, and travel to former cities and universities in search of knowledge.

Though secondary characters, the elder women of the novel, Cedar, an elder of Norbay, Elm, a rogue Seeker, and Ning, a toughened lone survivor who saves Birch from a gang of young men, are the real stars of the novel. It’s their hard-won wisdom and tenacity that help Birch save Jay from Great Toronto.

Then, I finished reading Paris 1919 by Margaret MacMillan. This was part of my research for my alternate history solarpunk, which is set in 1936, in between the two world wars. I wanted to find out how the political stage was set at the end of WWI. And boy howdy was this book informative. The decisions taken in Paris in 1919 would not only set WWII in motion, but we are still dealing with the fallout of some of them, like giving Palestine to Israel. It was a difficult read, but I’m glad I persisted.

It’s time to return to Narnia, though. I need a palate-cleanser.

Next, I finished reading Zachary Ying and the Dragon Emperor by Xiran Jay Zhao. Zachary Ying is just trying to survive school and not stress out his mom too much. And play Mythrealm, an AR game. Simon Li is the new Chinese kid at school—of course, the Chinese kids would become friends, eye roll—and it’s not long before Zach learns that he’s the reincarnation of Qin Shi Huang, the first emperor of China, who really needs him to seal the portal to the Chinese underworld before all the spirits escape and wreak havoc on the world. When demons steal Zack’s mom’s soul, he has no choice but to agree because the place he has to go to get his mom’s souls back is—you guessed it—the Chinese underworld. Simon is the reincarnation of Tang Taizong and the third member of their team Melissa Wu, is the reincarnation of Wu Zetien. Together, they travel across China, heist magical artefacts, and defeat figures of myth and history to achieve their goal. A great, fun read!

Back with Danielle L. Jensen’s The Bridge Kingdom series, I finished The Endless War. When I read The Inadequate Heir, I felt Jensen took a slightly different tack with the relationship. Unlike Aren and Lara or later, Ahnna and James, Zarrah and Keris did not overtly or purposely betray one another. They didn’t even appear to betray each other. They met anonymously, though it was clear that she was Valcottan and he was Maridrinian. They bonded over their shared dream of peace between their countries, and when they’re identities were revealed, they initially presented a united front against his father, King Silas Veliant and her aunt, Empress Petra, who are the real perpetrators of the endless war.

Unfortunately, in book 4, Keris becomes king of Maridrina, and his father’s spy master sends evidence to Petra of his relationship with Zarrah, and Petra sends Zarrah to Devil’s Island, a nigh on inescapable prison where the inmates have divided into factions that are continuously fighting one another, and the desperate have resorted to cannibalism to stay alive. So, despite the passionate devotion Zarrah and Keris show one another, this, too, is a grimdark book. The climax and denouement are pretty clever, though.

Finally, I finished the month with The Wild Robot by Peter Brown. Yes, this is a MG book, but it’s so wonderful. Roz wakes up on an island, surrounded by the parts of her (Brown himself characterizes Roz as female) fellow robots. She explores the island, learns the animal speech, and fosters a gosling whose family is killed in an accident.

There are distinctions between the book and the movie (that I watched last year), but they both stand on their own. Lovely, gentle, and life-affirming.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: July 2025 update

August 3, 2025 / Melanie Marttila

A gradual return to work and change of schedule seem to have made all the difference.

Life in general

I made some decisions while I was off.

First, I wasn’t going to return to work full bore. It’s what I’d done in the past, and within days of my return, I was teetering on the edge of burnout again. I didn’t want that to happen this time. Or ever again, frankly.

When I spoke to my doctor last month, I asked for a gradual return to work 3 days per week for 2 weeks and 4 days per week for 2 weeks. The week of my return was 3 days, anyway, so I didn’t have to do any juggling there, but I opted to work Monday through Wednesday the week after, Monday to Thursday the week after that, and Monday to Wednesday plus Friday for the final week of my gradual return to work. My days off would be covered by sick leave.

Interestingly, I’d already asked for July 31^st and August 1^st off, which meant that I’d have 2 additional part weeks before finally returning to full time work the week of August 11^th.

Second, I changed my daily schedule from 8:30 to 4:30 to 9:30 to 5:30. I need more time in the morning to get my shit together.

It worked out well the first couple of days, but I had to go into the office on July 4^th and exchange my work laptop. The exchange itself was fine, but I wasn’t advised to bring my authentication key with me. It was okay, I was assured, I could log in from home, authenticate, and that would complete the process of transferring my profile from my old computer to my new computer.

Except, when I got home, I couldn’t log into the VPN. After a frustrating hour with the National Service Desk and an escalation to level 2, I confirmed with my team that the VPN was down. There was nothing I could do. I’d have to keep trying to log in throughout the day. Which I did.

I finally managed to get online after 5 pm and sort a few things out. A wasted day, but I survived it without melting down.

Other than that, I prioritized regulation and trying to manage my spoons. It quickly became apparent that I returned to a work situation and project that was both completely changed and not changed at all from the time that I left.

I was looking for another assignment, but that wouldn’t become possible until after the current project was put to bed, for better or worse.

But the change in schedule and gradual return to work were, for lack of a better term, working 🙂

The month in writing

The cutting pass for Reality Bomb continued and, as I predicted, I started cutting more in the second half of the novel. In fact, I cut almost as much in one day as I had in the previous two months combined.

Then, I hit a point where I had to completely rewrite/revise whole chapters. This was the place where I had, in my last draft, started writing from scratch because the specifics had changed so much. So, this wasn’t surprising, but it was disappointing. I keep expecting to write better first draft material. I must temper expectations.

By the end of the month (and this pass) I’d cut 3,612 words. In total, I cut 5,056 words for the whole pass. Not nearly enough, but it was a good start.

I let the draft sit before going back at it.

I finished and submitted another review and started working on a couple more. In the meantime, one of the reviews I had submitted to a journal was returned and I had to select a new market.

My review of Christie Climenhage’s The Midnight Project was published in The Seaboard Review on the 21^st.

Then two more reviews were accepted, so it’s all working out in a round about way. Submitting reviews, it turns out, is just like submitting anything else. Sometimes you get an acceptance, and sometimes you don’t.

At the end of the month, I renewed my writerly PO Box and the PO Box for SF Canada.

Filling the well

Canada Day (July 1^st) was the last day of my sick leave. I went for a swim and was gentle with myself in preparation for my return to work on the 2^nd.

The full buck or raspberry moon in Capricorn was on the 10^th. Shortly after, forest fire smoke returned, obscuring the moon.

The new oak moon in Leo was on the 24^th.

The second part of Janice Hardy’s “Tricking your brain into plotting” was on the 3^rd. This one focused more on the application of the tips and tricks presented in part 1.

I signed up for a Tiffany Yates Martin webinar through Jane Friedman. “Mastering Character Inner Life” was on the 9^th. Excellent, as always.

I attended “AI for Artists,” a webinar promoted by the League of Canadian Poets and presented by the Canadian Artists Network, on the 22^nd. Good information, but I may watch the replay.

Finally, I signed up for a Clarion event, the “Summer of Science Fiction & Fantasy: Martha Wells in conversation with Kate Elliott” on the 30^th. It was a great conversation between two great women of SFF.

My next EAP appointment was on the 3^rd. Nervous system regulation and stim toys remained a hot topic. It was also recommended that I get a fitness ball to sit on, as well. Unfortunately, I was up against demand avoidance or maybe autistic inertia (or both?). I did not want to go shopping. But I finally did on the 24^th (new moon day) and got a bunch of cheap-o stim toys at Dollarama, a fitness ball, and some fairy lights to pretty up my office when I finally get around to finishing cleaning and reorganizing it. It’s not going to be a big rearrangement, like I was envisioning last year. The length of power cables and the like will not permit it 😦 But I’ll make a few changes to make the space a happier one to exist in.

We met again on the 15^th. It was another good session, but I get the feeling she wants to yank the apron strings out of my hands (!) EAP does limit the sessions we can have, but I like the accountability.

In the wake of that appointment, I decided to search for ND-affirming therapists in Sudbury … and I found one! We had a brief, “getting to know you” session on the 29^th, and I start in-person sessions on August 7^th.

On the 21^st, my support group facilitator held an impromptu summer social. It was good to stay in touch because we usually take the summer months off. Everyone started sharing their special interest collections. It was great fun.

What I’m watching and reading

Phil and I watched Murderbot (Apple TV +) and we both loved it. A great adaptation of a fabulous novella. Murderbot has disturbing memories of … it (possibly) murdering a bunch of humans, hence its chosen (and private) name. It’s also hacked its governor module, something it must hide from the corporation that owns it. It’s then assigned to a research team from Preservation Alliance, who do not support slavery. They want to make friends with it and—horrors!—eye contact. But missing sections of their survey map and dangerous, and more importantly, undocumented lifeforms, cause the research team to reach out to another nearby team … who do not respond. Despite its desire to watch quality streaming entertainment, Murderbot must save the PresAux team repeatedly.

I finished watching both seasons of Pantheon (Netflix). The AMC animated series, based on the stories of Ken Liu, explores the effect of uploaded intelligence (UI) on the world. Maddie’s father, David, who was dying of cancer, volunteered to have his consciousness uploaded in an experimental trial. Maddie and her mother are told the trial fails, but years later, Maddie starts to get mysterious messages in a chat room. Eventually, she learns that her father is still alive and he’s not the first or only UI in existence. Complicated by clones, a sentient anti-UI virus, and the scheming of a dying tech billionaire to extend his life, Pantheon examines the meaning of personhood, the right to exist, and the survival of humanity, post UI. The ending is ultimately hopeful, but I have a feeling that there was more to the story. The final episode crams in A LOT. Still, loved!

Then, I watched Ironheart (Disney +). Riri Williams gets herself kicked out of MIT and heads home to Chicago. In need of large sums of money to rebuild her suit, which was destroyed in transit, she is tempted by Parker Robbins, AKA the Hood, into participating in a series of heists. Something isn’t quite right about Parker and his cloak, though, and Riri wants to get her money and get out before she gets caught. Only six episodes, Riri’s story felt shortchanged (like Echo’s before it), but it was an interesting meditation on trauma and love and perseverance. Enjoyed considerably.

I watched Sinners (Crave). I’ve heard so much prise for this movie and it’s all true! That’s all I’m going to say because y’all need to watch this movie.

My first listen of July 2025 was Bury Our Bones in the Midnight Soil by V.E. Schwab. Three women’s lives and deaths intertwine through the centuries.

In 1532 (Spain), María hungers for independence, but the only avenue open to her is to marry well and have children, which she does not want. Though she marries, her every attempt to gain independence is foiled by her husband and his mother, and she goes to great lengths to avoid pregnancy. It’s only when she meets the Widow that her life changes … forever.

In 1827 (England), Charlotte’s forbidden desires result in her being shipped off to a strict aunt who will see her introduced to society and properly married. When Sabine offers her freedom, Charlotte can’t resist, nor can she imagine the terrible price she will pay.

In 2019 (America), Alice has travelled halfway around the world from her home in Scotland, seeking to start fresh in college after a personal tragedy. An uncharacteristic one-night stand transforms her in ways she never wanted, and she sets out to solve the mystery, and get revenge.

This novel asks tough questions. How much will you sacrifice to get what you want? How far will you go to justify the poor decisions of your past? When revenge fails to make things right, how will you go on? As excellent as Addie, but completely different.

Then, I listened to the Audible Original/Great Courses collaboration Slow Down: How doing nothing makes us better humans by Constance Kassor. Each of these nine lectures, based on a course Kassor and her colleagues designed for Lawrence University, focuses on an area in which you can learn how to form better habits, striking a balance between what needs to be done and what you need to thrive. These areas include getting better sleep, cultivating relationships, engaging in creative tasks, incorporating mindfulness into your day, and more. Brief but impactful lessons in how to live a better life.

Next, I finished reading Thyme Travellers: An Anthology of Palestinian Speculative Fiction edited by Sonia Sulaiman (coming September 5, 2025). Full disclosure: I met Sonia through a Writing the Other workshop, and we were part of a Discord for a while. When I saw that she edited this anthology, I requested it for review.

It’s fabulous. Sonia collected stories from across the Palestinian diaspora, from speculative fiction veterans and emerging writers from Australia to Egypt, Lebanon to Canada and I think the timing of this anthology is perfect. Anyone who cares about the genocide currently being persecuted in Gaza should read this book.

The story that stayed with me the longest was “Down Under” by Jumaana Abdu. Nouran tries to dig her way to Palestine from Australia. After two abortive attempts, a young boy takes her to his sister’s bedroom where, under the bed, is a tunnel. Eventually, Nouran catches up to Haya, the boy’s sister, and the two of them work together until soldiers stop them. It’s a harrowing tale about what it takes to reach home.

I listened to The Wrong Witch to Hex With by Molly Harper. I listened to the first in the Starfall Point series, Witches Get Stuff Done a couple years ago and enjoyed it. Starfall Point is unusually full of ghosts and it’s the responsibility of witches to deal with them. The Wrong Witch to Hex With is the first in the Moonshadow Cove series, and centres on the Seaworth sisters, finfolk, far from their ancestral Scotland and charged with the protection of a precious egg, though Starfall Point’s ghosts are their day-to-day responsibility. Their magic is waning and with both parents dead, there’s no one to guide them in their task. Linney, the youngest Seaworth, is bored with her sheltered life and fond of escaping to Starfall Point. Trying to hide from her older sister, Linney ends up in a ghost tour, and the ghosts are begging her to correct the guide, who can’t seem to keep his facts straight. That guide is Grayson Brockhurst, who inherited the business from his grandfather. He’s about to learn that ghosts are very real, and they’re not the worst thing he has to fear.

Then, I listened to The Second Summoning by Tanya Huff, the second (duh) book in the Keeper’s Chronicles. After closing the portal to hell in the furnace room of the Elysian Fields Guesthouse at the end of the first book, Claire gets used to having Dean, the guesthouse’s dogsbody, around. When the two finally consummate their relationship, the possibilities blow wide open, bringing an angel and a demon into the world. But neither being is quite what they’re supposed to be, leading Claire, Dean, her cat Austin, and her sister Diana on a merry chase across southern Ontario. Claire’s out to return the angel and demon to their respective domains, but Diana has other plans, as do the angel and the demon. A fun, light novel.

Next, I shifted back to non-fiction/self-help with How to Stop People-Pleasing by Wind Goodfriend, another Great Courses/Audible Original audiobook. Short, but full of good information and practical exercises to get to the heart of the reasons (there are probably more than one) you choose to people-please. Very helpful in my own journey from burnout to contentment.

Then, I did a more thorough search of the Audible Plus catalogue and discovered the remaining two audiobooks in the Starfall Point series by Molly Harper. I continued with Big Witch Energy. Witches Get Stuff Done was Riley’s story. Big Witch Energy is Caroline’s. Caroline Wilton would love to leave Starfall Point, but every member of her family who has ends up dead. So, when her high school sweetheart, Ben left to attend medical school, she let him go. Years later, he returns, divorced and with two children in tow. Caroline still loves him, but there are some unresolved tensions—not to mention ghosts—in the way, and when Ben’s children both exhibit supernatural abilities, it makes everything more complicated. When the ghost haunting the Wilted Rose, the Wilton family’s bar, literally brings the house down, Caroline must gather her coven, not just Riley and Alice, but also their two new members, Ben’s children, to deal with the threat. Except that the ghost has a human partner who wants Caroline dead. Light and fun.

Next, I listened to the Audible Original, Alanis Morrisette: Words and Music. I’ve always enjoyed Alanis’ music, and now I have some background to go with. Very enjoyable.

Then I finished the Starfall Point series with Never Been Witched by Molly Harper. Alice Seastairs led a quiet life managing her grandparents’ antiques shop and dating a local lawyer, but when Riley Denton came to town, Alice’s life changed, she dumped the lawyer, who turned out to be a dark and shifty dude, and she became part of a found family of witches. Collin Bancroft has bought the Duchess Hotel and wants Alice to source antiques as he restores the hotel to its former glory, but there are ghosts to contend with, ghosts that may be tied to the secrets of Shaddow House and the Welling locks that keep the ghosts trapped there.

Poor Alice suffers verbal abuse and gaslighting from her grandparents and her former boyfriend. It was wonderful to see her finally stand up for herself and set firm boundaries. A solid conclusion to an enjoyable paranormal romance series.

I dipped into non-fiction again with From The Wiz to Wakanda: Afrofuturism in Pop Culture, a Great Courses and Audible collaboration, by Grace D. Gipson of Virginia Commonwealth University. In six lessons, Gipson covers authors, movies and series, comics, art, fashion, and architecture. Informative and entertaining.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: June 2025 update

July 6, 2025 / Melanie Marttila

My ongoing burnout journey and the desire for definitive change.

This is a loooong post (mostly because of the media I consumed). You have been warned.

Life in general

I held off writing anything in this section until mid-June because not much was happening. I was trying to regulate and improve my sleep hygiene and just feel my feelings.

I thought that my seasonal allergies had peaked on June 1^st, but after a few days of feeling okay, forest fire smoke encroached, and my sinuses started socking in. I’ve been fighting off the sinusitis again. This has meant that my sleep has suffered. So, my rest has not been restful.

My main revelation in June was that I have been experiencing my emotions, but due to various stresses, I’ve been ignoring them. Alexithymia and proprioception issues predominate when my sympathetic nervous system is engaged, and mine has been for much of the past two years.

I’ve been people pleasing too much and need to let others manage their own emotions and their own work. Moving into caregiver territory with my mom means that can be complicated, because there are some forms of emotional (and other) labour I need to take on, but I can take a step back and ask myself if a particular task is something I absolutely must do.

I got an interim medical note at the beginning of the month but, as of the end of the month approached, I was still waiting on the formal medical to be completed and returned. I called the week after my phone appointment with my doctor and was told that I would be called when the medical was ready for pick up. On the 25^th, I called again, and the receptionist advised that the form had been completed on the 5^th (!) and that I would have been called. No one called me. I checked my call log. So, I went in and picked it up and tried not to have a complete meltdown.

Something else I noticed when I logged on to submit my note to my team lead and manager was that deductions for last year’s leave with income averaging continued to be deducted from my pay. The deductions started one or two pays before I went on my leave and should have stopped. I wasn’t in any rush to fix this as I wasn’t suffering financially, and the longer I let things go, the more money I’d get back when the issue was fixed.

My work laptop was also due for replacement. That, too, I was in no rush to deal with.

With the solstice, the heat arrived. We went from relatively mild spring weather to full on heatwave. With only a portable AC unit for the bedroom, all we could do was close all the windows in the house during the day, set the furnace fan to circulate, and turn on every ceiling fan in the house. Still, it was sweat-while-you’re-sitting weather. Enter heat edema and rashes.

We got a lovely respite toward the end of the month before the heat began to ramp up again.

The month in writing

My cutting pass of Reality Bomb continued. Around mid-month, I passed -1,000 words. By month’s end, I’d managed -1,444 words. I have a feeling (a hope?) that there will be much more cutting in the second half of the novel.

I also finished reading a few review books and started on their reviews. I decided that I’d finish the reviews before getting back to RB. Of course, I wrote short reviews for my What I’m watching and reading section, but I hope to place longer reviews in journals.

I also started writing a creative non-fiction piece, wrote another poem, and made a couple of poetry submissions.

In writing business, I attended the Wordstock Special Virtual meeting on the 4^th. This was the festival in jeopardy I mentioned last month. The membership voted to save the organization and rebuild the festival, but whether a festival will happen this year is up in the air. Though a call for volunteers went out, I was not able to contribute.

The Canadian Authors Association annual general meeting (AGM) was on the 21^st. Everyone is feeling the impact of funding cuts and memberships are demanding in-person events that may be beyond their organization’s capacity.

The League of Canadian Poets AGM was on the 24^th. More of the same, but in this case, the membership voted in favour of an in-person event with hybrid options in 2027. We’ll see how things go.

And the SF Canada Board had an ad-hoc meeting on the 30^th to clear up some bits and bobs.

Filling the well

The full strawberry moon in Sagittarius was on the 11^th. I took some lovely pics leading up to the full. The forest fire smoke really made the moon look pink.

Speaking of strawberries …

Summer arrived on the 20^th. Did my altar thing, switched over my seasonal scents, and generally tried to focus on recovery.

The new hawthorn moon in Cancer was on the 25^th. Overcast skies meant pics were hard to come by, though I got a couple, later in the month.

In writing-related events, the monthly virtual TWUC Ontario Open Mic was on the 10^th. I was happy to sit in and listen to some fellow members read from their work.

On Friday the 13^th, I watched an Authors Publish webinar with Cat Rambo, “How to Write Captivating Side Characters.” Cat’s always a fun and informative presenter.

I attended the Canadian Authors Association and SF Canada webinar Playing the Short Game with Douglas Smith. I’m not a prolific short fiction writer, but the information was excellent.

There was another Authors Publish webinar on the 25^th. Erin Swann presented “How to Create and Maintain Authentic Connections with Your Readers.” It was principally about showing and telling, which is something I still struggle with.

And, on a whim, I signed up for a two-part webinar from Free Expressions. The first session of “Tricking your brain into plotting” with Janice Hardy was on the 26^th. Hardy introduced cause and effect question chains, idea baiting, conflict loops, flaw mining, and moral mirrors. In July, we’ll delve deeper into the techniques. I think I’ll like these techniques in action as a pantser/plantser.

I had a phone appointment with my doctor on the 4^th and got an interim medical note for my leave as well as a referral for therapy. I have a feeling I’ll still need support after my sessions through EAP run out.

I had an appointment with my RMT on the 11^th. Though I still reached rest and digest mode, I was in pain for weeks afterward. I’ve been holding a lot of tension in my body.

My next appointment with my EAP therapist was on the 16^th. This time, my assignment was nervous system regulation, specifically stim toys. I’m not eager to go shopping. It’s exhausting. But I have found an old necklace that works as a stim toy. I’ll see what I can figure out on my own before I spend money.

I booked Torvi for her next Furminator on the 19^th. With the hot weather, her shedding was in overdrive, and she was shaggy pants doggo.

I attended another in the PFLS sleep series webinars on the 24^th. This one was about daylight saving time, its myths and health risks. It was a good session with lots of research on the harmful effects of DST. Unfortunately, politicians do not want to stop DST because of business and shipping issues.

My support group met on the 25^th and the topic this month was work life balance, another thing I struggle with.

What I’m watching and reading

During my leave, I’ve been indulging in movies. Brace yourselves. There are a lot of them!

I watched Captain America: Brave New World (Disney +). It wasn’t a bad movie. It wasn’t even a bad Marval movie, but Harrison Ford’s President Ross/Red Hulk stole some of the attention away from Sam and Isaiah’s stories. Joaquin Torres, the new Falcon, was sidelined partway through the movie, and though there were some solid fight scenes, the climactic moment is a quiet one and therefore … anticlimactic. I was also a little put off by the decision to rewrite Sabra, who was an Israeli agent in the comics, as a former widow. There were other changes to casting and scripting that resulted in a movie that, in my opinion, felt scattered. If you try to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one.

Then, I watched Moana 2 (Disney +). The “I want” song, “To Go Beyond,” made me weepy, which made me happy, because it’s been a long time since I’ve felt that. And the story was lovely. Moana is made a tautai, or master wayfinder, and she receives a vision from her ancestor tautai Vasa that she must find the island of Motufetu and restore the ocean currents to reunite all the island peoples, because alone, Moana’s people will die. So, Moana embarks of a risky adventure. It’s all about persistence and the power of community. Enjoyed immensely.

Then, I watched Dead Like Me: Life after Death (Prime). Phil and I had watched and enjoyed the series in the way back and I knew the movie existed, but I hadn’t actually watched it until now. In the opening scene, George and the other reapers stand outside Der Waffle Haus as it burns. Soon, they are summoned by their new head reaper, Cameron, who tells them that Rube finally “got his lights.” George suspect there’s something wrong when she can’t reap her first assignment. Chaos ensues. A fun bit of nostalgia.

I watched the documentary Brats (Disney +). Andrew McCarthy, seeking some meaning or closure decades after the “Brat Pack” achieved notoriety, interviews many of the members of, and actors peripheral to, the pack. McCarthy and Emilio Estevez still share resentment about being called brats that even an interview with David Blum, the entertainment journalist who coined the term Brat Pack couldn’t dispel. Demi Moore, Ally Sheedy, and Lea Thompson are more measured in their responses, as are Timothy Hutton and Jon Cryer, all of whom have had successes beyond the Brat Pack era. It’s Rob Lowe who sheds the most light on the issue and provides a positive spin. They were the new wave of cinema and informed many of the movies in following decades. The documentary ends with McCarthy finally getting a call back from Judd Nelson, paying off the running gag throughout the film that Nelson was purposely making himself unavailable. Nelson never appears. A thought-provoking and nostalgic film.

Next, I finished watching Beef (Netflix). Two characters enter each others’ orbits through an incident of road rage. A massive number of poor decisions on both their parts ends with one of them shot and in intensive care in the hospital and the other recovering by his side. Maybe life goes on?

Then, I watched The Residence (Netflix). This little gem is Knives Out meets Scandal meets The Extraordinary Birder. The Head Usher of the White House is murdered, and Cordelia Cupp, the world’s best detective and avid birder, is brought in to find out whodunnit. In a second timeline, a future congress hearing tries to get to the root of the mystery. There are loads of red herrings, but all the clues are presented as each suspect is investigated. The final meeting in which Cupp unveils the murderer is a bit unusual in that Cupp announces that she has no idea who the culprit is, but as she works through the events of the night of the murder, she zeroes in on the guilty party. Very entertaining. I hope they continue the series.

I watched They Cloned Tyrone (Netflix). This movie is classified as an SF comedy mystery. I’d replace mystery with horror myself. Fontaine is a drug dealer and is shot by a rival while collecting payment from client, friend, and pimp, Slick. When Fontaine shows up the next day looking for his payment, Slick and one of his girls, YoYo, know something’s wrong. Together, the three uncover a secret underground compound that reminds me of the facility in Supacell (which came out a year later), where experiments are being conducted on clearly unwilling Black subjects. The reveal of the purpose of this secret project is combined with an interesting twist that speaks to internalized racism. The ending promises that the trio’s adventures will continue.

I checked out the live action remake of Snow White (Disney +). Everyone should know the story, so I’m not worrying about spoilers. There were a few new songs that I wasn’t sure were needed, though Gal Godot isn’t horrible (?) as the evil queen, and they changed up the story. Instead of a prince, we have Jonathan, a Robin Hood-esque leader of a band of freedom fighters. There is a little more attention paid to the dwarves, which I liked, and Snow has more agency. She confronts the evil queen/stepmother, who ends up being consumed by her own magic mirror. Apples are more symbolically present as well, as a symbol of the healthy, happy, communal kingdom, as well as the evil queen’s assassination method.

Then, I watched Okja (Netflix). Oh, my god, y’all. It was devastating. Yes, it’s another Bong Joon Ho jam and has his signature surreal social commentary. Tilda Swinton (in her dual role as twins) and Jake Gyllenhaal chew up every scene they’re in, but damn this one’s sad.

Lucy Mirando becomes CEO of the Mirando Corp and presents herself as an environmentalist. 26 “super pigs”—a genetically engineered species that looks like a hippo—have been placed with farmers around the world. They consume less, produce less greenhouse gas, and, as Mirando says, they taste good. At maturity, the best super pig will be selected, and then . . . the livestock will go into production.

Mija has raised Okja from a piglet in South Korea. When Dr. Johnny Wilcox declares Okja the best super pig, the Mirando team ship her to Seoul (en route to New York). A heartbroken Mija follows. As Mija finds the truck Okja is in and dangles from the back of it, a group of animal liberation front (ALF) activists free Okja. They replace the black box that has recorded Okja’s biological data with a recording device and intend to send her back to Mirando to record the atrocities committed against the super pigs after which they will break her out again. Mija wants to go back to the mountains with Okja, but the ALF translator says she agrees. A note here: the ALF members are little better than Mirando and are totally complicit in what happens to Okja and the other super pigs.

Things go horribly wrong for Okja after that and though Mija manages to save Okja in the end, hundreds of other super pigs are still sent to processing. An excellent movie but brace yourselves.

Next, I finished watching the first season of Super Team Canada (Crave). This silly and self-deprecating (i.e., thoroughly Canadian) animated series from Atomic Cartoons is … okay? I wanted to check it out because of the voice talent—Cobie Smulders, Will Arnett, and Kevin McDonald, in particular. Also, Bryan Adams wrote the theme song.

I didn’t appreciate the animation style, and the team itself caters to stereotypes. Niagara Falls (Smulders) controls water and is an environmental crusader. Breakaway (Arnett) is a hometown hockey player with explosive pucks. Chinook is an Inuit hero who generates ice. Her shamanic aunties make appearances. Poutine … blasts his namesake and is obsessed with sex/himself. Ew? RCM-PC is a robotic mailbox. Sasquatchewan is their tank. And the PM (McDonald) looks like John A. McDonald and presents as a harried white-collar worker. The stories are nonsensical (I know that’s the point).

It feels like this series was thrown together last year when it became apparent that Trump was going to win again, even though the President looks like Bush (Jr). Essentially, the team can’t work together and lucks out more often than not. A solid meh.

As a departure from the heartbreak of Okja, my next movie was Renfield (Netflix). I knew it would be total camp and that’s what I was looking for. Robert Montague Renfield is Dracula’s familiar (read bug-eater) and in the modern day, he’s still tasked with finding his master victims. In search of people no one will miss, Renfield attends a support group for people in codependent and abusive relationships and grabs horrible people for his master. One of these missions goes horribly wrong when a mob executioner comes to kill one of Renfield’s chosen victims. Renfield ends up killing the executioner and gets entangled in the ensuing police investigation. Of course, Renfield also takes the advice of his support group and tries to escape his abusive relationship while the mob boss encounters Dracula and makes a deal with the vampire. Light and fun. Totally illogical climax and denouement, but it was the palate cleanser I needed.

Then, I finished the full run of Legion (Disney +). Because David Haller (Legion) is the son of Charles Xavier and an omega-level mutant, this series constantly asks you to question reality and rationality. Is what you’re seeing in David’s head, the astral plane, or is it the real (and surreal) world? Is David a powerful mutant or is he truly mentally ill? Maybe he’s both.

David is adopted and when his powers manifest, he’s diagnosed with schizophrenia and institutionalized. Years later, he escapes with the help of another inmate (Sydney) who can switch consciousnesses with anyone she touches. David and Syd are picked up by Summerland operatives and eventually, it becomes apparent that David has a dark passenger, Amahl Farouk, the Shadow King, who has been manipulating him throughout his life. Dark and often confusing, Legion nonetheless has a compelling story. David is an (extremely) unreliable narrator and does some truly despicable things during his journey. Thought-provoking.

Next, I watched Argylle (Apple TV +). This fun but over-the-top spy comedy was directed by Matthew Vaughan of Kingsman fame. Having watched all three Kingsman movies (The Secret Service was fun, The Golden Circle too convoluted to be truly enjoyable, and the third, The King’s Man, such a departure in tone from the previous two I wasn’t sure what to make of it), I was expecting wacky. What I got was a movie that overwhelmed my ability to suspend my disbelief. I’mma just spoil it. It won’t affect your viewing if you still want to watch it.

Elly Conway is a spy thriller novelist who’s trying to finish her latest novel. After her mother offers a critique, she finds herself blocked. On the train to visit her mother, Elly is attacked and then saved by Aiden Wilde, an actual spy. Wilde tells Elly that her books reflect real events and that she must finish her novel to help Wilde and his superior, Alfie (also the name of Elly’s Scottish fold cat who experiences some serious abuse in the movie) take down the bad guys. When they reach Alfie (the spy, not the cat), he reveals that Elly is agent R. Kylle (which she transformed into Argylle) and that she is the spy she’s been writing about the whole time (the whole time!).

Things get surreal from there. Elly’s parents aren’t her parents! She remembers who she is! Elly’s one of the bad guys! But no, she’s not; she was just acting! Then she’s triggered ala Winter Soldier! It culminates in this LSD-fuelled final battle in which agents Kylle and Wilde dance/fight amid multi-coloured smoke bombs and then Elly drives knives into her boot soles, skates on spilled oil, and stabs the rest of the baddies. At the very end, as Elly is launching her final Argylle novel, the “real” Argylle identifies himself in the audience. A mid-credit scene shows a young Argylle to be one of the Kingsmen.

Wha?

I also decided to keep up with my reading while I was off and so there are a lot of books I read in June! Sorry, not sorry!

I read Swordheart by T. Kingfisher (Ursula Vernon). The more T. Kingfisher books I read, the more I want to read. Halla is a widow who’s become housekeeper for her uncle-by-marriage. When he dies and leaves everything to her, the rest of his family imprisons Halla until she agrees to marry a sweaty-palmed cousin, after which Halla is certain they will kill her to get her inheritance themselves. In desperation, Halla determines to un-alive herself so that her remaining blood relatives might benefit from the inheritance, but when she draws a sword to do the deed, Sarkis, the immortal warrior bound to the sword and whomever wields it, appears.

Halla is adorable and babbles in a very ND manner. Sarkis is largely confused but determined to do his best. As with other Kingfisher novels, they end up saving each other. LOVED!

Then, I listened to Summon the Keeper by Tanya Huff. This is the first book in the Keeper Chronicles, the third of which I read a year or so ago. Keeper Claire Hansen is summoned to the Elysian Fields Guesthouse where the owner absconds and leaves her holding the deed, and the responsibility for a portal to hell in the furnace room, a sleeping keeper-gone-evil, the ghost of a French sailor, and an elevator that takes its passengers to other worlds. Will Claire, her cat Austin, and the guesthouse’s cook Dean be able to sort it all out before Claire is permanently bound to the site? Claire’s sister and Mom make appearances as well. A lovely start to an enjoyable series.

I finished reading Beneath the Rising by Premee Mohamed. Described as Lovecraft Country meets All the Birds in the Sky, this novel combines cosmic horror with the story of two childhood friends who may (or may not) love one another as they travel the world to stop Them from breaking through. Sounds improbable you say? It does, until you realize that one of the two teen protagonists is a wunderkind who has single-handedly cured disease, helped stop plastic pollution and runaway climate change, and practically put an end to poverty. Johnny (Joanna) is all that and a bag of chips, but she’s got secrets. When her latest invention, a functioning fusion reactor that promises to provide the world’s energy needs, “calls” to Them, Johnny destroys her invention and all its blueprints, sends her friend Nick’s family into hiding, and sets off on a journey with Nick to close the gate between this world and Theirs.

As Johnny’s secrets come to light, Nick questions everything and must confront the person he thought was his best friend. Even victory is a tragedy in this one, folks.

Next, I listened to The Witches of Moonshyne Manor by Bianca Marais. Moonshyne Manor is a distillery and the hereditary home of the Sisterhood—six octogenarian witches, one of whom has been in prison for 33 years for a heist that resulted in the death of another of their number, who lingers as a ghost, communicating through her familiar, a crow named Widget. A mob of angry men want to demolish the manor and build a men’s fantasy retreat. Another man, a relative of Ivy, who inherited the manor, wants what he believes was stolen from him. Behind on their mortgage payments—the reason the mob is using to validate their destructive scheme—Queenie, has made a dire deal with Charon. The fates of the manor and the Sisterhood hang on the release of Ruby, who knows where the stolen goods are hidden, but when she returns to the manor, she is not the woman she used to be. Enter Persephone, a young feminist who wants to save the manor and the Sisterhood, if she could just understand the web of relationships and betrayals that binds the sisterhood together. Excellent!

Then, I finished reading Christy Climenhage’s The Midnight Project. Raina and Cedric are disgraced genetic engineers who run a bespoke reproduction assistance clinic in Long Harbour, Labrador, during what we might describe as the pre-apocalypse. They admit to being idealistic/naïve in failing to ensure their last contract included a clause to prevent the use of their gene editing method in ways which would result in destruction to ecosystems. Because that’s exactly what happened. The company they worked for used their gene editing technique to produce insect-resistant crops (Monsanto, anyone?). When bees and other beneficial pollinators began to die, the company blamed Raina and Cedric, fired them, and bound them with non-disclosure agreements so that they couldn’t even defend themselves.

As more and more species go extinct, climate change threatens coastal cities, and gangs of hoppers—rogue genetic modification attempts gone horribly wrong and released into an unsuspecting world—hunt humans, Raina and Cedric are barely getting by. Enter billionaire Burton Sykes, who says he wants them to create a viable—and more importantly ethical, even noble—human hybrid capable of riding out the coming global destruction in the depths of the ocean. While they are savvier in their contract negotiations this time, when they see signs that Sykes is not abiding by the terms of that contract, Raina and Cedric must take action to protect themselves and the nascent Ceph they’ve come to love. A thought-provoking and entertaining read.

Next, I finished We Bury Nothing by Kate Blair (coming Oct 2025). This engaging young adult mystery is written in dual timelines. While I think the first chapter would have worked better as a prologue, I understand that most editors and publishers aren’t fond of them. The chapter stands out because it’s not explicitly part of either timeline and is written from a point of view that doesn’t return in any other part of the novel. Prologues are okay when they serve a purpose, and chapter 1 works better as a prologue, in my opinion.

But I digress. Chapter 1 is from the point of view of George, a young guard at a German POW camp in the fictitious town of Westonville during WWII. He discovers the body of Erich Stein, one of the prisoners in the camp. There’s no indication of how he escaped, only that a wound on his head was the likely cause of his death. George knows Erich and weeps over the waste of a young life.

The first timeline tells Erich’s story, from the long train ride to Camp 43 to his untimely death.

In the present day, Keira has come to Westonville as one of several high school graduates to work at the Heritage Site that Camp 43 has become. She, Asha, Ephram, and Ruth submitted proposals for projects to work on over the summer all related to Camp 43. They’re all trying to get the Hopper Scholarship, which will pay for a full university degree. Keira’s project is to solve the mystery of Erich Stein’s death, and the scholarship is her only hope of attending university.

But when Ruth is found drowned after a local party, Keira finds herself trying to solve two mysteries and as the clues come together, she realizes the deaths—no, murders—are related. A fascinating and well-written novel. Loved!

I raced through Maggie Stiefvater’s The Listeners. This one’s a Mary Poppins read—practically perfect in every way! The Listeners is Stiefvater’s debut adult novel, and it was one of those reads that, while I almost couldn’t put it down, I was also already mourning the end of a story and world I wanted to stay in. And the characters! I subscribe to her Substack (surprise, surprise!) and in a recent post, Stiefvater said she stives to create reading experiences that invite return and study. She’s done that in spades. Adored!

June Porter Hudson is the general manager of the Avallon Hotel in West Virginia when the US enters WWII and is blindsided by the owner’s decision to offer the hotel to the government as a place to house foreign nationals (read Axis diplomats and their families) until they can safely return them to their home countries. Tucker Minnick is an FBI agent on a quest for redemption. This diplomatic mission may be his last. Complicating matters is the hotel’s sweetwater, which bubbles up in hot and cold springs and is pumped throughout the hotel. It takes on the emotions of the hotel’s patrons, which is why June strives to ensure everyone’s happiness. But with the Avallon’s current occupants, the sweetwater is taking on a lot of negativity. And when the sweetwater is unhappy, bad things happen.

June is the Avallon. Tucker is the Agency. Can they come together to save what they love?

Then, I read Tom Leduc’s Palpitations. This is Tom’s second poetry collection published by Latitude 46. The poet states that each poem in this collection represents a “spark that can burn out in the dark or set the world on fire.” Divided into five sections, Leduc recounts the palpitations that have shaped his life. He admits that some poems may be made up but cannily declines to say which ones.

The first section, Freefall, addresses the palpitations of high school, sexual awakening, fumbling first love, and the legacy of familial wounds. Opposing Influences dances between youth and age, family life and relationships never realized, spirituality and religion. These palpitations are full of reflection, realization, and regret. The Night We Burned the Dragon’s Head is about rites of passage, revisiting the past, speculating about the future, and settling into the mindful present. The fourth section, Murmuration of Covid, may be self-explanatory, but the moments of the pandemic, a Christmas without family, queuing for vaccinations, the fifty-seventh covid test, physical distancing, and Zoom meetings are all worth revisiting. We were all there. The Marble King is populated with favourite places, things, people, and body parts, moments of crisis, and moments of dissolution.

Palpitations is a worthwhile read. You will resonate with each moment.

I gave the audiobooks a break toward the end of the month and listened to Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History: The Supernova in the East parts 1 through 6. Each episode of the podcast was about 4 hours long (!) It happened to dovetail with some of the other historical reading/research I was doing.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: May 2025 update

June 1, 2025 / Melanie Marttila

My little love got sick, and I realized I’m not out of the burnout woods yet.

Life in general

Content warning for the generalized ick of pet parenthood. Much discussion of poop.

Torvi gave us a scare at the beginning of the month. On the night of the 2^nd, after some “soft serve” poops during the day, she was up all night with vomiting and diarrhea. Phil, as usual, shouldered the bulk of the work, staying up, or getting up to let Torvi out so she could relieve herself. I cleaned up the vomit in the house and took her out a couple of times. We did not feed her until supper the following day hoping her system would benefit from the “rest,” but she wasn’t interested in partaking when we put her kibbles out on Sunday. We tried to encourage her to drink so she wouldn’t get dehydrated.

If she didn’t improve by Monday, we’d call the vet. Fortunately, the continual stream of liqui-poop calmed down on Sunday and Torvi started to show interest in food again.

This was only one of several events/days that made what should have been a restorative 4-day weekend dysregulating.

I’d taken May 1^st and 2^nd off—‘cause I always take the quarter and cross-quarter observances off—and though the pressure seemed to be off on the big project at work, things still needed to get done, so I was still in a place where I had minimal/no spoons after work. I engaged in a little bedtime revenge procrastination on Wednesday night anticipating being able to sleep in the next day.

But Thursday started out with Phil’s cell phone ringing—since our mom health challenges last year, we both keep our phones on all the time, just in case. He hung up. Moments later, my phone rang. It was the furnace technician announcing his imminent arrival. I told Phil I was going back to sleep and he got up to deal with the tech. It was around 7:40 am.

Torvi set up a-barking when the tech arrived, and Phil locked her in the bedroom with me to keep her out of the tech’s way. It was a choice. She whined the whole time, and I did not get any more sleep.

The tech’s visit was blessedly short, but then Mom called wanting to go to the bank. She had to pay her taxes. Phil agreed to take her.

And that was it for me trying to sleep. I got up, already dysregulated out of the gate. So, I took my time with my morning ritual and felt a little calmer.

Returning from my walk with Torvi, I noticed a car in the driveway. I went to Mom’s, as I do every day, and when I got home, I saw that a friend was visiting, out of the blue. A pleasant surprise, but another disruption to my day’s plans. I had wanted to go shopping for another friend’s birthday present. I had my route and tasks all lined up but had to defer departure.

I’d also wanted to see if I could stop off at my publisher to pick up some books for review.

I set off on my planned shopping trip—and I should note here that I hate shopping—and got home just after 5. Unfortunately, I also forgot my Flare Calmer and was a bit buzzy. The publisher emailed that she was out of town, and I’d have to pick up the books the next week. Because I had taken off so late, I didn’t have a chance to deal with my email or read blog posts or anything. Supper arrived and then Torvi’s evening walk and by the time I finished clearing the daily slate it was after 11 pm.

I ended up revenge procrastinating until almost 3 am in a vain attempt to regulate before I got to bed. Surely, I could sleep in on Friday . . . Alas, no. I could not. The day was better, but when I went to ship my friend’s birthday package, the post office’s computer was down. So, no shipping and further disruption to my plans. That was the day Torvi started to have her difficulties. Though I got to bed at a reasonable time, there was little sleep Friday night.

Saturday, I managed to get the package shipped, but Mom was sick, Torvi was still sick, and Phil and I were heading to a family combo birthday celebration. The celebration itself was lovely, and the food was great, but I was masking my worry over both Mom and Torvi. Torvi slept through the night, and I slept through the night and Sunday seemed to be salvaged.

But Torvi’s health did not stabilize. Despite hand feeding and special dinners of rice, veggies and chicken, the diarrhea did not stop. We made an appointment with the vet.

It was likely Torvi had giardia, also called “beaver fever,” which is transmissible to humans.

I brought a ploop sample and came away with seven days worth of meds and a package of canine probiotics for her food. They couldn’t confirm giardia until the test results came back but were willing to treat the situation as if it was giardia and proceed with next steps when the results were returned.

As of the 9^th, Torvi was eating her medicated food and the diarrhea had stopped, but we were still waiting on an even half-formed stool. Which she had on the 10^th, much to our relief. She started consistently sleeping through the night, which allowed Phil and I to sleep. Things were improving.

The test results came back on the 12^th, and I received a follow up call from Torvi’s vet. No parasites were found, which surprised me. We were to finish the course of antibiotics and continue the probiotics to support Torvi’s return to “normal.”

And then came the realization, thanks to Torvi’s health issues, that I had not processed or taken care of myself through the family health trials of the past couple of years. I persisted in working throughout. Though I was getting back to my creative pursuits, I was still burned out, and it was time to do something about it.

So, I made an appointment with my doctor, reached out to EAP, and started on my road. I had my first appointment on Friday, May 16^th. She assigned me some reading/research on Internal Family Systems, I ordered some books and found some YouTube videos to watch.

At an ND coffee chat at work, someone shared this Substack: https://drdevonprice.substack.com/p/you-might-not-recover-from-burnout

Not gonna lie. It hit hard.

On May 20^th, the Tuesday following the Victoria Day long weekend, I started a sick leave that will carry me through to the end of June. Putting my own mask on first.

On the 27^th, I had my second session with EAP. Still getting stuff off my chest. My assignment before next session: get in touch with my emotions, ‘cause I’ve been repressing them too frickin’ long.

And now it’s time to move onto more pleasant topics, like the weird but ultimately lovely spring we’ve been having.

The weird part is that, despite the climate change thing, we actually had a winter this year and it held on long into spring. It’s really just been in the last couple of weeks that the plant world seems to have woken up. And now it’s playing catchup. HARD.

Usually, by the Victoria Day long weekend, the pin cherries and crab apples are in bloom, with lilacs in bud. We were about a week late this year, but in the last week of May, I gloried in the smells of the blossoms, and now that the lilacs were coming out, I celebrated by cutting a couple branches from the lilacs in my back yard and brought them in so I could revel in the smell even more.

I caught a spectacular halo around the sun while looking for the first sliver of the moon after the new.

The Canada goslings are out! I walked a stretch of Lily/Junction Creek, and the families were everywhere. Every couple of metres, there was another gaggle, and because I was with Torvi, mom and dad swiftly ushered their goslings into the creek. But I caught one proud papa posturing before mama could do her duty.

Urban wildlife makes me furiously happy.

The month in writing

I finally finished revisions on the final chapter of Reality Bomb on May 4^th (may the 4^th be with you!), but now the draft had ballooned to 123,077 words (!)

It was time to start my cutting pass.

At the end of the month, I’d gone through 12 and a half chapters and cut 692 words. At this rate, I’ll have to get more severe if I want to get even close to a 110k draft.

I wrote a poem and made a couple of poetry submissions before the end of the month. I also started work on a CNF flash piece that I hope to submit somewhere as well.

I received some disappointing news on the 21^st. My application to the Banff Science Fiction program was not successful. This is particularly sad given that I’d withdrawn or chosen not to apply for various opportunities to make financial room for this program. I do have some available spending room for other stuff, now, but I’m not jumping in immediately. I think a low-spending year might be a good change.

In writing business, the Writers’ Union of Canada’ pre-AGM meeting fell on the 22^nd and the AGM itself on the 29^th.

There was an SF Canada board meeting on the 26^th. Efficient, friendly. Stuff got done.

Also on the 26^th, I was advised of another literary festival’s impending demise. As the special virtual meeting for this won’t be held until June, I’ll wait to disclose details.

Filling the well

The month began with Beltaine (I spell it the way I spell it). I lit up my altar and thought about growing things.

The full flower moon in Scorpio was on the 12^th.

The new willow moon in Gemini was on the 26^th.

The orchid I thought would never recover bloomed!

In terms of writing-related events, I attended “Writing the World We Need” with Dani Abernathy on the 2^nd. Good affirmation of the need to embrace diversity in all its forms in our work.

On the 10^th, Vera Constantineau and I gave our Mothers Day poetry reading at the Copper Cliff branch of the Greater Sudbury Public Library. It was a lovely, intimate affair.

I signed up for a Bianca Marais webinar, “Circling the Building of Your Work” on the 13^th. An interesting approach.

The final Finnish class of the spring session was on the 5^th. Feeling accomplished and improved. I continued to practice with Duolingo, Inside Finnish Life, and a handful of YouTube channels. A classmate offered the link to an app, which I haven’t tried yet.

On the 3^rd, I attended a combined family birthday party. We hadn’t managed to get together for Easter, so it was a nice, relaxed night out at a favourite local restaurant, Ali Baba’s.

The May Good Company meeting was on the 28^th. The topic this month was about co-occurring conditions. I didn’t think I had many of these, but I have insomnia, GERD, eczema, restless legs, and I had menorrhagia and dysmenorrhea, and anemia. Just because I haven’t had EDS, MCAS, ME/CFS, IBS, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, or other significant issues doesn’t mean I’ve escaped co-occurring conditions altogether.

I had two days off work at the beginning of the month and Victoria Day long weekend, both of which were much-needed though only somewhat restorative (see above). Then, I started my sick leave after the May long weekend.

What I’m watching and reading

My first watch of May was The Book Thief (Disney +). It’s the sweet but harrowing tale of Liesel, whose Communist mother, after the death of her husband and son, gives her daughter up for adoption. Death, the narrator of the tale, takes an interest in the illiterate girl who will become the book thief.

I finished watching the first season of Daredevil: Born Again (Disney +). I like that it’s more or less a continuation of the Netflix series. The same darkness, the same Catholic self-flagellation, and the same bloody violence. I wasn’t as impressed by all the decisions made. To tell you which ones would be spoilers. All this to say that this was a solid entry in Marvel Television. They’ve finally found their footing after a couple of years of WTF series (Secret Invasion, anyone?).

Then, I finished watching the first season of Watson (CBS). A year after Holmes and Moriarty seemingly die by plunging off Reichenback Falls, Dr. John Watson returns to Philadelphia with a traumatic brain injury (TBI) that he’s still recovering from to open the Holmes Clinic. He’s a geneticist and has assembled a team of highly skilled young doctors to help him solve impossible medical mysteries using the deductive reasoning techniques he learned from Holmes. He’s also attempting to reconnect to his estranged wife Mary even as she asks for a divorce. And before the first episode ends, there’s evidence that Moriarty did not die and has nefarious plans for Watson, his team, and their clinic. The first episode was a bit of a fire hose, but the series settled into a pattern after that and resolved Watson’s relationship woes after a couple more episodes, streamlining the season’s throughline. Medical mystery of the week complicated by Moriarty’s machinations. It’s been renewed for a second season. I’ll watch it.

Next was the third season of Will Trent (ABC). Everyone’s dealing with the fall out from last season. You know, Will arresting Angie? No sooner is that sorted out, when Will is traumatized by accidentally shooting a kid, “saves” Faith’s son, Jeremy, from a drug bust by saying he’s a confidential informant, which he must then become, and Ormewood finds out he has a brain tumour. Add to that a fraudulent and murderous cult, a childhood friend of Will’s who’s now a gang leader (and technically Jeremy’s “boss”), and you have a wild and entertaining season. There’s more, but this series is one of the best to come out of network TV. You should catch it.

I also finished the latest season (six, I think?) of The Rookie (ABC). Bailey is hunted by her recently-escaped criminal ex. Nyla and James are trying to balance her police work with his community activism. Tim and Lucy are trying to figure out what they are. There are two new rookies, one of whom is a problem. The usual assortment of crises abounds, and a few old enemies show up to make things interesting. I’ll keep watching.

Then, I finished watching the latest season of Grey’s Anatomy (ABC). Yes, I’m still watching 20 seasons on. The usual soap opera, ending with a literal blast.

Next, I watched the first season of X-Men ’97 (Disney +). The animation is a significant improvement over the original series, and I liked the stories better. I won’t say more, but if you’re a fan of the original or the comics, you’ll probably love X-Men ’97.

I finished season two of The Last of Us (HBO). This one’s rough. If you’ve played the game, you know what happens, and though I haven’t played the game, I had some spoilery insight from New Rockstars. Still, episode two hit hard, and the rest of the season dealt with the emotional fallout of those events. Bella Ramsey is STELLAR. The final episode ends on a cliffhanger before restarting the Seattle timeline, this time, from Abby’s perspective.

Next up was the final season of The Handmaid’s Tale (CTV Drama). I’m just going to spoil it all. You have been warned. June and Serena have a moment on a train, which June then shoves Serena and her baby Noah off, albeit to save their lives. June and Nicole reunite with June’s mother in Alaska. Serena, after a brief respite with a commune, is taken to New Jerusalem. June leaves Nicole in Alaska and hurls herself back into the fight. Their first target, Jezebel’s – to kill the commanders and free the former handmaids – is foiled by a weak-willed Nick, admittedly in a tough spot, who gives away the plot to save his own skin, resulting in the mass murder of all the girls but Janine at Jezebel’s. Reeling from the betrayal, June despairs, then rallies, deciding to infiltrate Serena’s upcoming wedding to kill the commanders and free the handmaids there. While this plot is more successful, the high commanders survive and June and Moira are caught with their group of handmaids, including Janine. They’re about to be executed when Luke and a bunch of Mayday resistance fighters open fire and American troops arrive. Serena, captured in the chaos, reveals where the high commanders plan to meet. June convinces Lawrence to plant a bomb on the high commander’s plane, but the other commanders arrive, and he must board. At the last minute, Nick arrives and boards the plane too. June watches as the plane ascends and then explodes. The last episode is slow and reflective. Janine is reunited with her daughter, Charlotte, Serena is sent to a refugee camp, June’s mom arrives with Nicole, and June and Luke go their separate ways, each determined to destroy what remains of Gilead and find Hannah. They promise to reunite in Colorado, where Hannah lives. There’s some Aunt Lydia action, and Emily returns in the final episode, so we get an update on her, too. And . . . of course, June begins to write a book about her experiences. I would have liked to see more of Moira, but the focus of the last episode was firmly on the white women. Here endeth the spoilers.

I watched Mickey 17 (Crave) over several sittings. Loved this absurdist sci-fi and its message that kindness and love will overcome fascism and cruelty every time.

Finally, I watched the latest series of Doctor Who (Disney +). Phil started watching it with me, but lost interest. Ncuti Gatwa hasn’t captured him, I guess. I thought the season was interesting and, in Russel T. Davies fashion, many of the disparate episodal stories all came together in the finale. The only spoiler I’ll offer: the next Doctor is being played by Billie Piper?!

My first listen of the month was Japanese Fairy Tales, by Yei Theodora Ozaki. While there are some similarities to European fairy tales, most notably the tale of a princess, or hime, whose stepmother wishes to kill her (like Snow White), the tales are not often as cruel or bloody. Several of the villains renounce their evil ways. Many of the tales focus on animals as helpers, and some of the tales are bittersweet.

Then, I listened to Mary Robinette Kowal’s The Martian Contingency. I love these books so hard! The last novel in the series followed Nicole Wargin on the moon while Elma York, the Lady Astronaut, was on her way to Mars. Now, we return to Elma’s story on a second Mars mission where she and her fellow colo—sorry, inhabitants—are busy paving the way for the next wave of families from Earth. She had to stay in orbit with Stetson Parker on that first mission. This time, she gets to land and work with her husband, Nathaniel (!) Seriously, stable, loving relationships are at the heart of these books. And Kowal writes them so well! But soon, gaps in the first mission logs become apparent, and as Elma investigates, the mystery deepens until an equipment failure puts future landings in jeopardy. As the truth is unearthed, Elma learns the terrible secret of the first Mars mission and must bring her crew together as Martians to get Bradbury Base back on track before Mission Control pulls the plug on Mars altogether.

Next was Traditional Irish Fairy Tales by James Stephens. These are tales from the Fenian Cycle of Irish mythology framed by an attempt by Finnian, the Abbott of Moville, to convert Tuan mac Cairill to Christianity. Tuan recounts his origins and then launches into the tales of the Fenian Cycle. Very different from the other cultural tales I’ve read recently and very good.

Then, I finished the Tensorate Series by Neon Yang. This is a collection of Yang’s three novellas, The Black Tides of Heaven, The Red Threads of Fortune, and The Descent of Monsters, which focus on Akeha and Mokoya, the twin children of the Protector. The first novella is Akeha’s story, following them and their sibling Mokoya as they are sold to a monastery as part of a deal made before they were born, from childhood to adulthood, when Akeha makes the decision to support the Machinist rebels.

The second novella follows Mokoya, grievously injured in the climactic events of the first novella and still grieving the loss of her child. She was a prophet and lost that ability, as well. She runs from her grief by hunting naga (dragons) until she is forced to face it, and a huge naga that can tens.

The third novella is an epistolary one, told through journal entries and reports, redacted and whole. It covers an investigation into atrocities committed at a classified research facility that threaten to expose secrets the Protectorate wants to remain hidden.

While I enjoyed the first two novellas, the third was a little tedious, especially when it came to the redacted reports. I loved Yang’s worldbuilding, though. Every child gets to choose their own gender and is offered state-sponsored reassignment surgery provided by tensors. Magic is called tensing, its practitioners, tensors. And they have raptors as mounts and animal companions. Very cool.

I listened to a short audiobook, Listening to the Big Bang by Brian Greene. He covers the history of the big bang theory and all the physicists who contributed to it, opposed it, and where the theory stands today.

Next, I finished the romantasy The Twisted Throne by Danielle L. Jensen, book 5 in The Bridge Kingdom series. What is it with me and reading things out of order? Because Jensen focuses on a different character’s journey every couple books (so, it’s more like a series of interconnected duologies), I started at a good time.

Book 5 tells Ahnna’a story. She’s not only a princess of Ithacana and twin sister to it’s king, Ahren, but a soldier who put her life on the line for her people. The war left Ithacana impoverished, though, and Ahnna blames herself, so she willingly goes to Harendell when its king calls in the terms of a long-held agreement between the two kingdoms. Ahnna will be wed to King Edward’s son, William, who is an irresponsible spendthrift. Still, Ahnna needs Harendell’s wealth to feed her starving people. But the longer she stays in Harendell, the more political intrigue she uncovers, and the closer she gets to the wrong prince.

Then, I listened to Great Heroes and Heroines of Hawaiian Heritage by Leilani Basham, another Great Courses and Audible Originals collaboration. Basham covers some of the key figures, men and women, of Hawaiian history from the 19^th and 20^th centuries and how the colonization of Hawaii was and is still being resisted and shaped by its Indigenous people. This tragically familiar history hits all the marks, from cultural genocide to the recovery of the Hawaiian language and culture. Existence is resistance.

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

The next chapter: April 2025 update

May 4, 2025 / Melanie Marttila

My brain, she does not brain. Oh! And … May the fourth be with you. See what I mean? My priorities are all messed up.

A picture of the almost-full moon through birch branches.

Life in general

With the political pandemonium and continuing chaos at work, it was all I could do to manage my spoons day-to-day.

April started with a dysregulating week at work. My project co-lead (really, the project lead—I was more of an assistant) went on holidays and I and another instructional designer attached to the project tried to divide up her duties between us.

I could not deal, people, especially when I discovered something that would make the lot of us look incompetent in courses that had already been uploaded to the learning management system. Add to that two incomplete translations (we risk-managed due to time constraints) coming back at the same time as client content reviews with additional changes (that were also not included in the translation), and I had a shutdown.

My brain refused to process any of it, but I did what I’ve done for the 20 years of my career prior to diagnosis and kept working on other parts of the project. You can imagine how well all that went.

This resulted in my usual case of Sunday scaries transforming into full-on weekend scaries. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights, I woke up at 2 or 3 or 4 am and ruminated in overdrive. Friday night, my heart was bounding out of my chest. It felt like a panic attack. I did work out part of a solution, though.

Saturday, part 2 of the solution came through. And Sunday, I rehearsed the plan, ‘cause it involved a discussion with my team leader, and I had to feel confident in what I had to say.

But all 3 nights, I was sleeping with my weighted blanket and my weighted sleeping mask and my ear plugs. Sensory input minimized (to the max)! I shouldn’t have had an internal meltdown like this if my shutdown was due to sensory overwhelm.

That leaves the disruption to my routine and sudden demands. Autistic inertia and demand avoidance for the win!

I was exhausted. And vibrating. I hadn’t had a shutdown/meltdown this bad since August of 2021.

Fortunately, my plan resulted in a validating meeting with my TL and actionable steps to delegate some work, defer other work, and make space for my brain to process. Also reassuring: there will be a full content review conducted by our client’s Executive Head. Any changes identified/required by this review will mean amendment to the e-learning and reuploading to the LMS anyway. So, the problem I identified would not really be a problem.

I slept through the night on Monday and felt more level on Tuesday. Still a little dopey, but also calmer. I delegated work and accomplished a satisfying amount of work myself.

In the health arena, I’ve survived the change of seasons without an outbreak or blepharitis. As soon as the weather rose above freezing, I added the Ryaltris nasal spray to my regime of twice-daily neti-pots, Emergen-C, and ColdFX. So far, so good (she says, knocking on every available wooden surface).

I forgot to mention it last month, but I got Torvi in for her annual checkup. This year, she was due for her vaccines, which expired at the end of January, but post-pandemic, my vet has experienced some challenges. Last year, Torvi’s annual exam was pushed into March and though I booked this year’s at that time, they didn’t have an opening until May 1^st. Torvi was unprotected, in the middle of her mid-winter shed, and groomers require a vaccination certificate.

So, I called, and the receptionist suggested a virtual exam. I jumped at the opportunity. The technicians conducted the physical exam and vaccinations with a vet supervising over zoom. A friend was offered a virtual exam for her dog but felt that paying full price for half an appointment was a bit of a cheat. I’d rather have my grrl protected.

Voted in the federal election on April 18, 2025, in the advance voting period with Phil and Mom. There were lineups! And initial numbers indicated that people voted early in record numbers. As of the end of the month, the Liberals have a minority government, but there are several outstanding polling stations where validation is still in progress.

And I haven’t even mentioned the shit show that was RFK Jr.’s autism registry. Mutant registry, anyone? Even though it was in the US, when the initiative was announced, the Canadian federal election hadn’t yet been decided, and the possibility of a maple MAGA government was real. Fortunately, the NIH walked things back thanks to the focus efforts of the autistic community, but the fight isn’t over.

Strength to your sword arms, my American ND friends!

The month in writing

Reader, it was not good. At least at first. The above-mentioned difficulties at work meant that I had few, if any spoons in the evenings to devote to my creative work.

But I persevered. Writing is, if nothing else, one of my special interests. I created a rough query last month and finished the synopsis early in April and, as I’d hoped, creating these two documents allowed me to see in a bird’s eye sense where I could focus my trimming efforts.

Then, I moved onto fixing my final chapter. I struggled initially, not having the brain power to sort out the way forward ‘cause no spoons = no brain power.

But with the respite of the Easter long weekend, I rallied and made some headway.

On the 12^th, as I publicized last month, I joined the lovely Vera Constantineau for a spring/National Poetry Month reading at the South End branch of the Sudbury Public Library. It was an intimate event, with 3 friends from the Sudbury Writers’ Guild and two of my former high school teachers. Vera and I read and went a little overtime with the Q&A.

We’re going to do it all over again on May 10^th, at the Copper Cliff branch of the GSPL, just in time for Mothers’ Day.

Then, on the 21^st, I recorded an episode of Show Don’t Tell Writing with Suzy Vadori! We had a fabulous time.

And in a super quick turnaround, it was released on the 22^nd! It turned out great! Have a listen here and consider subscribing to Suzy’s podcast.

Show don't tell writing podcast, episode 42: Writing as a neurodivergent author with Melanie Marttila.

In a lovely surprise, periodicity journal’s virtual reading series #33 featuring me, Kate Cayley, Mahaila Smith, Susan Gevirtz, and Noah Berlatsky was posted on the 28^th. So grateful to rob mclennan for all he does for Canadian poetry and poets.

Filling the well

The full sugaring moon in Libra was on the 12^th. The night before, the almost-full moon was a delightful pink. I honoured the night with a guided meditation.

The new alder moon in Taurus was on the 27^th. A truly lovely day. Sunny, warm, and low-key. Did another guided meditation.

In writerly events, the last session of Starting it Right with Cece Lyra was on the 3^rd. This session, she critiqued submissions. Useful analysis. And food for thought.

I attended the launch of A Thousand Tiny Awakenings at Laurentian University’s Indigenous Learning Centre on the 5^th. It was lovely to hear Connor Lafortune, Lindsay Mayhew, and Blaine Thornton read in person and enjoy several audio or video recordings from other anthology authors. And there was cake (!)

The 12^th, when my poetry reading with Vera at the GSPL was scheduled, was also the day of Can-Con Virtual—oops! But I caught the sessions I wanted to, before and after the reading and a couple days later, I was able to catch the sessions I missed with replay links.

Finally, The FOLD started on April 27^th. I watched most of it in replay, because working.

Finnish classes continued throughout the month on Monday nights.

I had a lovely massage on the 9^th. Have I mentioned how much I love my RMT?

My semi-annual dentist appointment was on the 23^rd.

My support group also met on the evening of the 23^rd. The topic this month was meltdowns and shutdowns.

And I enjoyed the long Easter weekend rest.

What I’m watching and reading

I finished watching the whole run of the original X-Men (Disney +). I remember seeing a few episodes, here and there, but I was mostly past my cartoon-watching phase by the time the show ran. And yes, I’m that old. Enjoyable, but the animation does not age well. I wanted to watch the series mostly as a background for X-Men ’97, which is what I’m watching now.

Then, I finished watching the second season of Severance (Apple TV +). Just, OMG, so good! I can’t really say anything about this series without spoiling it. Several major reveals. Mark S and Mark Scout have a conversation. How many severed personalities does Gemma have? And is she safe now? What do Mark S and Helly R intend to do? And yeah, it’s all vague-booking. But it is one of the, if not the, best series on streaming today.

Next, Phil and I watched the third season of Wheel of Time (Prime). Everyone (almost) levels up. Perrin becomes Lord Perrin Goldeneyes after his defense of Two Rivers from the Trolloc hoards, but Loial sacrifices himself to close the Waygate and Perrin hands himself over to the Whitecloaks. Rand travels to the Aiel Waste and enters Rhuidean where he undergoes a trial. He finally sheds Lanfear’s influence and becomes the Ca’ra’carn while Morgaine defeats Lanfear. Nyneave finally overcomes her block when Leandrin tries to kill her. Mat reunites with Min and encounters an Eelfinn who grants him three wishes. Though he gets rid of the memories haunting him since he blew the Horn of Valere, the Eelfinn hangs him as part of the “price.” A lot (and I mean a LOT) more happens, but that’s all I’ll say here. It’s worth watching.

Then I watched Flow (Crave). A-MA-zing! I can see why this movie won a Golden Globe and Academy Award. This is a movie that will stick with me for a while, and it may take some time and potentially additional viewings to tease out all the implications. No humans, no dialogue, and no narrative or voiceover. Just animals, the sounds of nature, and story. First impressions though . . . a fable about climate change; a non-human version of the flood myth; a post-human (post-apocalyptic?) world; an affirmation of animal intelligence and emotion; a bittersweet tale of found family and unavoidable loss; a secretary bird as Christ figure. Like I said, I’m going to be thinking about Flow for a while. Loved this movie SO HARD.

I also watched The Electric State (Netflix). This movie was a little different from the other robot-related media I’ve been taking in recently (The Wild Robot, A Psalm for the Wild-Built). Definitely not as cozy. In this world, Robots and humans went to war in the 90s. Protagonist Michelle is the only survivor of a car crash that happened as her family tried to escape the conflict. Shortly thereafter, Sentre CEO Ethan Skate invents neurocaster technology, allowing humans to remotely control drone robots and win the war. Neurocaster technology becomes universal after that. Everyone works, learns, and plays using their neurocasters. Everyone, that is, except Michelle, who is traumatized by losing her family and years of trying to survive foster care. Until a robot shows up that she figures out is her brother and she sets off to rescue his body from Sentre.

This movie was adapted from the graphic novel of the same name and has been largely panned, despite being written by the McFeelys, produced by the Russos, and having a star-studded cast. It’s also one of the most expensive movies ever produced, which may have something to do with the critical response. I didn’t think it was that bad. Yes, there were a lot of missed opportunities, but it was a perfectly enjoyable post-apocalyptic action movie. You can’t really go all in on the action movie vibe and have a deep philosophical conversation about technology, humanity, and whether the kid in Omelas needs to be freed at the expense of the society their suffering made possible. That’s one of the missed opportunities I was talking about.

My first read of April (April!) 2025 was Somewhere Beyond the Sea by TJ Klune, the second of the Cerulean Chronicles. This novel continues the tale begun in The House on the Cerulean Sea, in which Linus Baker, a hapless drone in the Department in Charge of Magical Youth (DiCoMY), finds his life upended in the most pleasant way when he is assigned to assess the conditions in one of DiCoMY’s orphanages for magical children.

This novel is told from Arthur Parnassus’s perspective. He’s worked hard to make a good life on the ashes of his old one. Literally. Abused as a child in the same orphanage he returned to run, Arthur still hasn’t overcome the trauma of his past. Though he now has a loving partner in Linus and six wonderful magical children, the Department in Charge of Magical Adults (DiCoMA) and DiCoMY have it out for him, calling him to testify in a thinly veiled attempt to discredit him and take the children he has applied to adopt.

Somewhere Beyond the Sea is a story of resistance, lovingly told, about the daunting experience of fighting for the life you want to live and doing the work to keep it. Loved!

Then, I read A Thousand Tiny Awakenings, an anthology edited by Connor Lafortune and Lindsay Mayhew. This elegant, slim anthology features the poetry and prose of 15 dynamic young voices. Every piece in the anthology is a wakeup call.

I listened to English Fairly Tales by Flora Annie Steel. A lot of familiar material in this collection of tales, and a lot of surprising intersections with the Norwegian Folktales I read last month.

Next, I read Heavenly Tyrant by Xiran Jay Zhao, the second in her Iron Widow series. At the end of the first novel, Zetien had just revived Emperor Qin Zheng and lost Shimin when the gods took the wreckage of the Vermilion Bird to the Heavenly Court. Now she and Qin Zheng are reluctantly thrust together as Emperess and Emperor and Zetien must play the part perfectly. The gods are watching. Qin Zheng sets off a Communist revolution and Zetien uses her influence to improve the lives of women. Secretly, Qin Zheng trains Zetien so they’ll be ready to attack the Heavenly Court and kill the gods. Excellent!

And I caught the place where Zhao wanted to include “The Peggy Hill Amendment.” IYKYK. LMAO.

Then, I read Indian Fairy Tales, collected and edited by Joseph Jacobs. The more folk and fairy tales I read from different cultures, the more similarities I find. It’s interesting to get this taste of another culture’s tales. Very good.

I finished reading A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers. Gave me the same vibes as The Wild Robot. It’s set in a post-industrial world in which robots decided they would no longer work in factories for humans. Centuries after the robots wandered into the wilderness, society has settled into a kind of ecological utopia. Small, self-sustaining communities, green energy, but there is still technology. In this world, the best tea monk (read therapist) in Panga finds themselves dissatisfied with their life. They set out to find an ancient hermitage. And then, a robot walks out of the wilderness. Truly lovely.

Next, I listened to Zen Cho’s short fiction collection Spirits Abroad. These ten speculative stories weave together Malaysian myth and folklore with everyday life. A Datin recalls her romance with an orang bunian; a teenage pontianak struggles to balance homework, bossy aunties, first love, and eating people; an earth spirit gets entangled in protracted negotiations with an annoying landlord; we watch Chang E evolve over the course of four generations; an imugi is foiled in its ascent to dragonhood, but when it seeks revenge on the human responsible, it falls in love with her instead (such a lovely story!); and a timid second wife tries to escape her life in hell. When these stories are brought to life by a narrator who knows the language and idiomatic speech of the characters, it’s even better. Loved!

Then, I finished reading Linghun by Ai Jiang. This Nebula-Award-winning novella is a modern gothic. Set in the mysterious town of Home, a place where people who can’t release their beloved dead move to reunite with them, Linghun tells the story of Wenqi, Liam, and Mrs. Wenqi’s family has moved from Toronto into one of Home’s haunted houses to summon the ghost of her brother, who died when he was a child. Wenqi barely remembers him and wants to go back to Toronto and live an actual life. Liam and his family are “lingerers,” people who can’t afford a haunted house and engage in blood-sport auctions when one becomes available. Liam has been assigned the task of making Wenqi and her family give up their house, but Liam has other ideas. Mrs. lives and dies in the house where her deceased husband refuses to apparate, but she has a strange connection to both Wenqi and Liam. Great, creepy read!

And that was the month in this writer’s life.

Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!

Life in general

The month in writing

Filling the well

What I’m watching and reading

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