This year, Can-Con moved to a new venue, the Brookstreet Hotel. It was a beautiful event space and the hotel had all the amenities and then some.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
I booked both Friday the 17th and Monday the 20th off work. In hindsight, I should have booked the Thursday as well and given myself some extra time to drive out, settle in, relax, and prepare. I’ll have to remember to do that, next year. And yes, I’ve already registered for next year’s convention.
Friday morning, my intention was to take off at 10 am, arrive around 4 pm, check in, and then attend the opening session at 5.
Unfortunately, my body decided to delay my departure until 11 am. I also had to top up the gas tank and grab a caramel toffee cold brew from Tim Horton’s before I could zoom.
One thing I finally figured out on my September trip to London was how to properly use Google Maps (!) Fun fact: I am weirdly selective about learning how to use technology.
The journey was uneventful. And beautiful!
There’s this point on Highway 17 between Mattawa and Deux Rivières where the road crests a hill and you get your first site of the Laurentians. It was particularly breathtaking on the 17th. Most of the surface was covered in pine and spruce, but there were vibrant patches of gold (birch and poplar) edged in orange and red (oak and maple). The cloud was low and scudded over the worn tops of the mountains.
I couldn’t stop to take a photo, but I wrote a poem about it afterward.
Because of my delayed start, I didn’t arrive until after 5 pm. I checked into the Brookstreet, parked, resolved an issue with my key card, dropped everything off at my room, and headed down to catch one of the panels before mine.
The Art of Rest panel was a lot of fun. I discovered that one of the other panelists is also from Sudbury (!) Many thanks to moderator Kaitlin (KT) Caul for organizing a great panel experience and to Nina Nesseth for being a great co-panelist. It was among the last panels on Friday night.
After, the lot of us migrated to Options, the hotel’s jazz lounge, and I enjoyed a late supper and their signature cocktail, the paper plane. Lovely. Again, much fun was had.
After a morning swim and breakfast, I attended panels all day on Saturday, as well as an unsuccessful pitch session (the publisher and I were hopelessly mismatched), and the launch of Year’s Best Canadian Fantasy and Science Fiction, Volume 3, in which my poem “Vasilisa” was reprinted.
While I was moving between panels, I met several SF Canada members and other friends, including Andy Taylor, who shared some fabulous news. The anthology my next piece of short fiction will be published in, Super Canucks, had a cover! It won’t be published until March 2026, but it’s up on the Latitude 46 site! Pre-orders are open!
After a long day of panels, I treated myself to a solitary supper at the Perspectives restaurant. Compressed melon salad, summer vegetable and truffle risotto, and a limoncello tartufo. Heaven!
On Sunday, I treated myself to another morning swim before breakfast. I attended even more panels, and the launch of Cait Gordon’s Speculative Shorts: Stories That Fell Out of My Brain.
My second panel, “The Taste of Sadness: Writing Emotional Dysregulation” was in the last time slot of the convention and was another great experience. I may have babbled a bit, but everyone else on the panel stepped in and we all made each other look good. Gratitude to moderator Gregory A. Wilson and panelists Deanna Valdez and Sienna Tristen for making my second panel a memorable one.
Highlights from Sunday:
After, I walked the convention space as the panelists and exhibitors packed up and departed.
Then, in a different mood from the night before, I opted for a burger and fries with a caramel apple crisp for dessert at Perspectives. The apple crisp is to die for, folks.
I opted to stay over Sunday night and drive back in the morning after one final swim and a full breakfast.
I’ve attended several Can-Cons over the years, but this was my first as a panellist. It was a fabulous experience and, as I said off the top, I’ve already registered for next year. I hope to get on another panel (or two) and maybe organize an SF Canada meet and greet/networking event/membership drive.
My little love got sick, and I realized I’m not out of the burnout woods yet.
Life in general
Content warning for the generalized ick of pet parenthood. Much discussion of poop.
Torvi gave us a scare at the beginning of the month. On the night of the 2nd, after some “soft serve” poops during the day, she was up all night with vomiting and diarrhea. Phil, as usual, shouldered the bulk of the work, staying up, or getting up to let Torvi out so she could relieve herself. I cleaned up the vomit in the house and took her out a couple of times. We did not feed her until supper the following day hoping her system would benefit from the “rest,” but she wasn’t interested in partaking when we put her kibbles out on Sunday. We tried to encourage her to drink so she wouldn’t get dehydrated.
If she didn’t improve by Monday, we’d call the vet. Fortunately, the continual stream of liqui-poop calmed down on Sunday and Torvi started to show interest in food again.
This was only one of several events/days that made what should have been a restorative 4-day weekend dysregulating.
I’d taken May 1st and 2nd off—‘cause I always take the quarter and cross-quarter observances off—and though the pressure seemed to be off on the big project at work, things still needed to get done, so I was still in a place where I had minimal/no spoons after work. I engaged in a little bedtime revenge procrastination on Wednesday night anticipating being able to sleep in the next day.
But Thursday started out with Phil’s cell phone ringing—since our mom health challenges last year, we both keep our phones on all the time, just in case. He hung up. Moments later, my phone rang. It was the furnace technician announcing his imminent arrival. I told Phil I was going back to sleep and he got up to deal with the tech. It was around 7:40 am.
Torvi set up a-barking when the tech arrived, and Phil locked her in the bedroom with me to keep her out of the tech’s way. It was a choice. She whined the whole time, and I did not get any more sleep.
The tech’s visit was blessedly short, but then Mom called wanting to go to the bank. She had to pay her taxes. Phil agreed to take her.
And that was it for me trying to sleep. I got up, already dysregulated out of the gate. So, I took my time with my morning ritual and felt a little calmer.
Returning from my walk with Torvi, I noticed a car in the driveway. I went to Mom’s, as I do every day, and when I got home, I saw that a friend was visiting, out of the blue. A pleasant surprise, but another disruption to my day’s plans. I had wanted to go shopping for another friend’s birthday present. I had my route and tasks all lined up but had to defer departure.
I’d also wanted to see if I could stop off at my publisher to pick up some books for review.
I set off on my planned shopping trip—and I should note here that I hate shopping—and got home just after 5. Unfortunately, I also forgot my Flare Calmer and was a bit buzzy. The publisher emailed that she was out of town, and I’d have to pick up the books the next week. Because I had taken off so late, I didn’t have a chance to deal with my email or read blog posts or anything. Supper arrived and then Torvi’s evening walk and by the time I finished clearing the daily slate it was after 11 pm.
I ended up revenge procrastinating until almost 3 am in a vain attempt to regulate before I got to bed. Surely, I could sleep in on Friday . . . Alas, no. I could not. The day was better, but when I went to ship my friend’s birthday package, the post office’s computer was down. So, no shipping and further disruption to my plans. That was the day Torvi started to have her difficulties. Though I got to bed at a reasonable time, there was little sleep Friday night.
Saturday, I managed to get the package shipped, but Mom was sick, Torvi was still sick, and Phil and I were heading to a family combo birthday celebration. The celebration itself was lovely, and the food was great, but I was masking my worry over both Mom and Torvi. Torvi slept through the night, and I slept through the night and Sunday seemed to be salvaged.
But Torvi’s health did not stabilize. Despite hand feeding and special dinners of rice, veggies and chicken, the diarrhea did not stop. We made an appointment with the vet.
It was likely Torvi had giardia, also called “beaver fever,” which is transmissible to humans.
I brought a ploop sample and came away with seven days worth of meds and a package of canine probiotics for her food. They couldn’t confirm giardia until the test results came back but were willing to treat the situation as if it was giardia and proceed with next steps when the results were returned.
As of the 9th, Torvi was eating her medicated food and the diarrhea had stopped, but we were still waiting on an even half-formed stool. Which she had on the 10th, much to our relief. She started consistently sleeping through the night, which allowed Phil and I to sleep. Things were improving.
The test results came back on the 12th, and I received a follow up call from Torvi’s vet. No parasites were found, which surprised me. We were to finish the course of antibiotics and continue the probiotics to support Torvi’s return to “normal.”
And then came the realization, thanks to Torvi’s health issues, that I had not processed or taken care of myself through the family health trials of the past couple of years. I persisted in working throughout. Though I was getting back to my creative pursuits, I was still burned out, and it was time to do something about it.
So, I made an appointment with my doctor, reached out to EAP, and started on my road. I had my first appointment on Friday, May 16th. She assigned me some reading/research on Internal Family Systems, I ordered some books and found some YouTube videos to watch.
On May 20th, the Tuesday following the Victoria Day long weekend, I started a sick leave that will carry me through to the end of June. Putting my own mask on first.
On the 27th, I had my second session with EAP. Still getting stuff off my chest. My assignment before next session: get in touch with my emotions, ‘cause I’ve been repressing them too frickin’ long.
And now it’s time to move onto more pleasant topics, like the weird but ultimately lovely spring we’ve been having.
The weird part is that, despite the climate change thing, we actually had a winter this year and it held on long into spring. It’s really just been in the last couple of weeks that the plant world seems to have woken up. And now it’s playing catchup. HARD.
Usually, by the Victoria Day long weekend, the pin cherries and crab apples are in bloom, with lilacs in bud. We were about a week late this year, but in the last week of May, I gloried in the smells of the blossoms, and now that the lilacs were coming out, I celebrated by cutting a couple branches from the lilacs in my back yard and brought them in so I could revel in the smell even more.
I caught a spectacular halo around the sun while looking for the first sliver of the moon after the new.
The Canada goslings are out! I walked a stretch of Lily/Junction Creek, and the families were everywhere. Every couple of metres, there was another gaggle, and because I was with Torvi, mom and dad swiftly ushered their goslings into the creek. But I caught one proud papa posturing before mama could do her duty.
Urban wildlife makes me furiously happy.
The month in writing
I finally finished revisions on the final chapter of Reality Bomb on May 4th (may the 4th be with you!), but now the draft had ballooned to 123,077 words (!)
It was time to start my cutting pass.
At the end of the month, I’d gone through 12 and a half chapters and cut 692 words. At this rate, I’ll have to get more severe if I want to get even close to a 110k draft.
I wrote a poem and made a couple of poetry submissions before the end of the month. I also started work on a CNF flash piece that I hope to submit somewhere as well.
I received some disappointing news on the 21st. My application to the Banff Science Fiction program was not successful. This is particularly sad given that I’d withdrawn or chosen not to apply for various opportunities to make financial room for this program. I do have some available spending room for other stuff, now, but I’m not jumping in immediately. I think a low-spending year might be a good change.
In writing business, the Writers’ Union of Canada’ pre-AGM meeting fell on the 22nd and the AGM itself on the 29th.
There was an SF Canada board meeting on the 26th. Efficient, friendly. Stuff got done.
Also on the 26th, I was advised of another literary festival’s impending demise. As the special virtual meeting for this won’t be held until June, I’ll wait to disclose details.
Filling the well
The month began with Beltaine (I spell it the way I spell it). I lit up my altar and thought about growing things.
The full flower moon in Scorpio was on the 12th.
The new willow moon in Gemini was on the 26th.
The orchid I thought would never recover bloomed!
In terms of writing-related events, I attended “Writing the World We Need” with Dani Abernathy on the 2nd. Good affirmation of the need to embrace diversity in all its forms in our work.
On the 10th, Vera Constantineau and I gave our Mothers Day poetry reading at the Copper Cliff branch of the Greater Sudbury Public Library. It was a lovely, intimate affair.
I signed up for a Bianca Marais webinar, “Circling the Building of Your Work” on the 13th. An interesting approach.
The final Finnish class of the spring session was on the 5th. Feeling accomplished and improved. I continued to practice with Duolingo, Inside Finnish Life, and a handful of YouTube channels. A classmate offered the link to an app, which I haven’t tried yet.
On the 3rd, I attended a combined family birthday party. We hadn’t managed to get together for Easter, so it was a nice, relaxed night out at a favourite local restaurant, Ali Baba’s.
The May Good Company meeting was on the 28th. The topic this month was about co-occurring conditions. I didn’t think I had many of these, but I have insomnia, GERD, eczema, restless legs, and I had menorrhagia and dysmenorrhea, and anemia. Just because I haven’t had EDS, MCAS, ME/CFS, IBS, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, or other significant issues doesn’t mean I’ve escaped co-occurring conditions altogether.
I had two days off work at the beginning of the month and Victoria Day long weekend, both of which were much-needed though only somewhat restorative (see above). Then, I started my sick leave after the May long weekend.
What I’m watching and reading
My first watch of May was The Book Thief (Disney +). It’s the sweet but harrowing tale of Liesel, whose Communist mother, after the death of her husband and son, gives her daughter up for adoption. Death, the narrator of the tale, takes an interest in the illiterate girl who will become the book thief.
I finished watching the first season of Daredevil: Born Again (Disney +). I like that it’s more or less a continuation of the Netflix series. The same darkness, the same Catholic self-flagellation, and the same bloody violence. I wasn’t as impressed by all the decisions made. To tell you which ones would be spoilers. All this to say that this was a solid entry in Marvel Television. They’ve finally found their footing after a couple of years of WTF series (Secret Invasion, anyone?).
Then, I finished watching the first season of Watson (CBS). A year after Holmes and Moriarty seemingly die by plunging off Reichenback Falls, Dr. John Watson returns to Philadelphia with a traumatic brain injury (TBI) that he’s still recovering from to open the Holmes Clinic. He’s a geneticist and has assembled a team of highly skilled young doctors to help him solve impossible medical mysteries using the deductive reasoning techniques he learned from Holmes. He’s also attempting to reconnect to his estranged wife Mary even as she asks for a divorce. And before the first episode ends, there’s evidence that Moriarty did not die and has nefarious plans for Watson, his team, and their clinic. The first episode was a bit of a fire hose, but the series settled into a pattern after that and resolved Watson’s relationship woes after a couple more episodes, streamlining the season’s throughline. Medical mystery of the week complicated by Moriarty’s machinations. It’s been renewed for a second season. I’ll watch it.
Next was the third season of Will Trent (ABC). Everyone’s dealing with the fall out from last season. You know, Will arresting Angie? No sooner is that sorted out, when Will is traumatized by accidentally shooting a kid, “saves” Faith’s son, Jeremy, from a drug bust by saying he’s a confidential informant, which he must then become, and Ormewood finds out he has a brain tumour. Add to that a fraudulent and murderous cult, a childhood friend of Will’s who’s now a gang leader (and technically Jeremy’s “boss”), and you have a wild and entertaining season. There’s more, but this series is one of the best to come out of network TV. You should catch it.
I also finished the latest season (six, I think?) of The Rookie (ABC). Bailey is hunted by her recently-escaped criminal ex. Nyla and James are trying to balance her police work with his community activism. Tim and Lucy are trying to figure out what they are. There are two new rookies, one of whom is a problem. The usual assortment of crises abounds, and a few old enemies show up to make things interesting. I’ll keep watching.
Then, I finished watching the latest season of Grey’s Anatomy (ABC). Yes, I’m still watching 20 seasons on. The usual soap opera, ending with a literal blast.
Next, I watched the first season of X-Men ’97 (Disney +). The animation is a significant improvement over the original series, and I liked the stories better. I won’t say more, but if you’re a fan of the original or the comics, you’ll probably love X-Men ’97.
I finished season two of The Last of Us (HBO). This one’s rough. If you’ve played the game, you know what happens, and though I haven’t played the game, I had some spoilery insight from New Rockstars. Still, episode two hit hard, and the rest of the season dealt with the emotional fallout of those events. Bella Ramsey is STELLAR. The final episode ends on a cliffhanger before restarting the Seattle timeline, this time, from Abby’s perspective.
Next up was the final season of The Handmaid’s Tale (CTV Drama). I’m just going to spoil it all. You have been warned. June and Serena have a moment on a train, which June then shoves Serena and her baby Noah off, albeit to save their lives. June and Nicole reunite with June’s mother in Alaska. Serena, after a brief respite with a commune, is taken to New Jerusalem. June leaves Nicole in Alaska and hurls herself back into the fight. Their first target, Jezebel’s – to kill the commanders and free the former handmaids – is foiled by a weak-willed Nick, admittedly in a tough spot, who gives away the plot to save his own skin, resulting in the mass murder of all the girls but Janine at Jezebel’s. Reeling from the betrayal, June despairs, then rallies, deciding to infiltrate Serena’s upcoming wedding to kill the commanders and free the handmaids there. While this plot is more successful, the high commanders survive and June and Moira are caught with their group of handmaids, including Janine. They’re about to be executed when Luke and a bunch of Mayday resistance fighters open fire and American troops arrive. Serena, captured in the chaos, reveals where the high commanders plan to meet. June convinces Lawrence to plant a bomb on the high commander’s plane, but the other commanders arrive, and he must board. At the last minute, Nick arrives and boards the plane too. June watches as the plane ascends and then explodes. The last episode is slow and reflective. Janine is reunited with her daughter, Charlotte, Serena is sent to a refugee camp, June’s mom arrives with Nicole, and June and Luke go their separate ways, each determined to destroy what remains of Gilead and find Hannah. They promise to reunite in Colorado, where Hannah lives. There’s some Aunt Lydia action, and Emily returns in the final episode, so we get an update on her, too. And . . . of course, June begins to write a book about her experiences. I would have liked to see more of Moira, but the focus of the last episode was firmly on the white women. Here endeth the spoilers.
I watched Mickey 17 (Crave) over several sittings. Loved this absurdist sci-fi and its message that kindness and love will overcome fascism and cruelty every time.
Finally, I watched the latest series of Doctor Who (Disney +). Phil started watching it with me, but lost interest. Ncuti Gatwa hasn’t captured him, I guess. I thought the season was interesting and, in Russel T. Davies fashion, many of the disparate episodal stories all came together in the finale. The only spoiler I’ll offer: the next Doctor is being played by Billie Piper?!
My first listen of the month was Japanese Fairy Tales, by Yei Theodora Ozaki. While there are some similarities to European fairy tales, most notably the tale of a princess, or hime, whose stepmother wishes to kill her (like Snow White), the tales are not often as cruel or bloody. Several of the villains renounce their evil ways. Many of the tales focus on animals as helpers, and some of the tales are bittersweet.
Then, I listened to Mary Robinette Kowal’s The Martian Contingency. I love these books so hard! The last novel in the series followed Nicole Wargin on the moon while Elma York, the Lady Astronaut, was on her way to Mars. Now, we return to Elma’s story on a second Mars mission where she and her fellow colo—sorry, inhabitants—are busy paving the way for the next wave of families from Earth. She had to stay in orbit with Stetson Parker on that first mission. This time, she gets to land and work with her husband, Nathaniel (!) Seriously, stable, loving relationships are at the heart of these books. And Kowal writes them so well! But soon, gaps in the first mission logs become apparent, and as Elma investigates, the mystery deepens until an equipment failure puts future landings in jeopardy. As the truth is unearthed, Elma learns the terrible secret of the first Mars mission and must bring her crew together as Martians to get Bradbury Base back on track before Mission Control pulls the plug on Mars altogether.
Next was Traditional Irish Fairy Tales by James Stephens. These are tales from the Fenian Cycle of Irish mythology framed by an attempt by Finnian, the Abbott of Moville, to convert Tuan mac Cairill to Christianity. Tuan recounts his origins and then launches into the tales of the Fenian Cycle. Very different from the other cultural tales I’ve read recently and very good.
Then, I finished the Tensorate Series by Neon Yang. This is a collection of Yang’s three novellas, The Black Tides of Heaven, The Red Threads of Fortune, and The Descent of Monsters, which focus on Akeha and Mokoya, the twin children of the Protector. The first novella is Akeha’s story, following them and their sibling Mokoya as they are sold to a monastery as part of a deal made before they were born, from childhood to adulthood, when Akeha makes the decision to support the Machinist rebels.
The second novella follows Mokoya, grievously injured in the climactic events of the first novella and still grieving the loss of her child. She was a prophet and lost that ability, as well. She runs from her grief by hunting naga (dragons) until she is forced to face it, and a huge naga that can tens.
The third novella is an epistolary one, told through journal entries and reports, redacted and whole. It covers an investigation into atrocities committed at a classified research facility that threaten to expose secrets the Protectorate wants to remain hidden.
While I enjoyed the first two novellas, the third was a little tedious, especially when it came to the redacted reports. I loved Yang’s worldbuilding, though. Every child gets to choose their own gender and is offered state-sponsored reassignment surgery provided by tensors. Magic is called tensing, its practitioners, tensors. And they have raptors as mounts and animal companions. Very cool.
I listened to a short audiobook, Listening to the Big Bang by Brian Greene. He covers the history of the big bang theory and all the physicists who contributed to it, opposed it, and where the theory stands today.
Next, I finished the romantasy The Twisted Throne by Danielle L. Jensen, book 5 in The Bridge Kingdom series. What is it with me and reading things out of order? Because Jensen focuses on a different character’s journey every couple books (so, it’s more like a series of interconnected duologies), I started at a good time.
Book 5 tells Ahnna’a story. She’s not only a princess of Ithacana and twin sister to it’s king, Ahren, but a soldier who put her life on the line for her people. The war left Ithacana impoverished, though, and Ahnna blames herself, so she willingly goes to Harendell when its king calls in the terms of a long-held agreement between the two kingdoms. Ahnna will be wed to King Edward’s son, William, who is an irresponsible spendthrift. Still, Ahnna needs Harendell’s wealth to feed her starving people. But the longer she stays in Harendell, the more political intrigue she uncovers, and the closer she gets to the wrong prince.
Then, I listened to Great Heroes and Heroines of Hawaiian Heritage by Leilani Basham, another Great Courses and Audible Originals collaboration. Basham covers some of the key figures, men and women, of Hawaiian history from the 19th and 20th centuries and how the colonization of Hawaii was and is still being resisted and shaped by its Indigenous people. This tragically familiar history hits all the marks, from cultural genocide to the recovery of the Hawaiian language and culture. Existence is resistance.
And that was the month in this writer’s life.
Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!
I acknowledge with respect that I am in Robinson-Huron Treaty territory, that the land from which I write is the traditional territory of the Anishinaabe and home of Atikameksheng Anishnawbek and Wahnapitae First Nation.
My brain, she does not brain. Oh! And … May the fourth be with you. See what I mean? My priorities are all messed up.
Life in general
With the political pandemonium and continuing chaos at work, it was all I could do to manage my spoons day-to-day.
April started with a dysregulating week at work. My project co-lead (really, the project lead—I was more of an assistant) went on holidays and I and another instructional designer attached to the project tried to divide up her duties between us.
I could not deal, people, especially when I discovered something that would make the lot of us look incompetent in courses that had already been uploaded to the learning management system. Add to that two incomplete translations (we risk-managed due to time constraints) coming back at the same time as client content reviews with additional changes (that were also not included in the translation), and I had a shutdown.
My brain refused to process any of it, but I did what I’ve done for the 20 years of my career prior to diagnosis and kept working on other parts of the project. You can imagine how well all that went.
This resulted in my usual case of Sunday scaries transforming into full-on weekend scaries. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights, I woke up at 2 or 3 or 4 am and ruminated in overdrive. Friday night, my heart was bounding out of my chest. It felt like a panic attack. I did work out part of a solution, though.
Saturday, part 2 of the solution came through. And Sunday, I rehearsed the plan, ‘cause it involved a discussion with my team leader, and I had to feel confident in what I had to say.
But all 3 nights, I was sleeping with my weighted blanket and my weighted sleeping mask and my ear plugs. Sensory input minimized (to the max)! I shouldn’t have had an internal meltdown like this if my shutdown was due to sensory overwhelm.
That leaves the disruption to my routine and sudden demands. Autistic inertia and demand avoidance for the win!
I was exhausted. And vibrating. I hadn’t had a shutdown/meltdown this bad since August of 2021.
Fortunately, my plan resulted in a validating meeting with my TL and actionable steps to delegate some work, defer other work, and make space for my brain to process. Also reassuring: there will be a full content review conducted by our client’s Executive Head. Any changes identified/required by this review will mean amendment to the e-learning and reuploading to the LMS anyway. So, the problem I identified would not really be a problem.
I slept through the night on Monday and felt more level on Tuesday. Still a little dopey, but also calmer. I delegated work and accomplished a satisfying amount of work myself.
In the health arena, I’ve survived the change of seasons without an outbreak or blepharitis. As soon as the weather rose above freezing, I added the Ryaltris nasal spray to my regime of twice-daily neti-pots, Emergen-C, and ColdFX. So far, so good (she says, knocking on every available wooden surface).
I forgot to mention it last month, but I got Torvi in for her annual checkup. This year, she was due for her vaccines, which expired at the end of January, but post-pandemic, my vet has experienced some challenges. Last year, Torvi’s annual exam was pushed into March and though I booked this year’s at that time, they didn’t have an opening until May 1st. Torvi was unprotected, in the middle of her mid-winter shed, and groomers require a vaccination certificate.
So, I called, and the receptionist suggested a virtual exam. I jumped at the opportunity. The technicians conducted the physical exam and vaccinations with a vet supervising over zoom. A friend was offered a virtual exam for her dog but felt that paying full price for half an appointment was a bit of a cheat. I’d rather have my grrl protected.
Voted in the federal election on April 18, 2025, in the advance voting period with Phil and Mom. There were lineups! And initial numbers indicated that people voted early in record numbers. As of the end of the month, the Liberals have a minority government, but there are several outstanding polling stations where validation is still in progress.
And I haven’t even mentioned the shit show that was RFK Jr.’s autism registry. Mutant registry, anyone? Even though it was in the US, when the initiative was announced, the Canadian federal election hadn’t yet been decided, and the possibility of a maple MAGA government was real. Fortunately, the NIH walked things back thanks to the focus efforts of the autistic community, but the fight isn’t over.
Strength to your sword arms, my American ND friends!
The month in writing
Reader, it was not good. At least at first. The above-mentioned difficulties at work meant that I had few, if any spoons in the evenings to devote to my creative work.
But I persevered. Writing is, if nothing else, one of my special interests. I created a rough query last month and finished the synopsis early in April and, as I’d hoped, creating these two documents allowed me to see in a bird’s eye sense where I could focus my trimming efforts.
Then, I moved onto fixing my final chapter. I struggled initially, not having the brain power to sort out the way forward ‘cause no spoons = no brain power.
But with the respite of the Easter long weekend, I rallied and made some headway.
On the 12th, as I publicized last month, I joined the lovely Vera Constantineau for a spring/National Poetry Month reading at the South End branch of the Sudbury Public Library. It was an intimate event, with 3 friends from the Sudbury Writers’ Guild and two of my former high school teachers. Vera and I read and went a little overtime with the Q&A.
We’re going to do it all over again on May 10th, at the Copper Cliff branch of the GSPL, just in time for Mothers’ Day.
Then, on the 21st, I recorded an episode of Show Don’t Tell Writing with Suzy Vadori! We had a fabulous time.
And in a super quick turnaround, it was released on the 22nd! It turned out great! Have a listen here and consider subscribing to Suzy’s podcast.
In a lovely surprise, periodicity journal’s virtual reading series #33 featuring me, Kate Cayley, Mahaila Smith, Susan Gevirtz, and Noah Berlatsky was posted on the 28th. So grateful to rob mclennan for all he does for Canadian poetry and poets.
Filling the well
The full sugaring moon in Libra was on the 12th. The night before, the almost-full moon was a delightful pink. I honoured the night with a guided meditation.
The new alder moon in Taurus was on the 27th. A truly lovely day. Sunny, warm, and low-key. Did another guided meditation.
In writerly events, the last session of Starting it Right with Cece Lyra was on the 3rd. This session, she critiqued submissions. Useful analysis. And food for thought.
I attended the launch of A Thousand Tiny Awakenings at Laurentian University’s Indigenous Learning Centre on the 5th. It was lovely to hear Connor Lafortune, Lindsay Mayhew, and Blaine Thornton read in person and enjoy several audio or video recordings from other anthology authors. And there was cake (!)
The 12th, when my poetry reading with Vera at the GSPL was scheduled, was also the day of Can-Con Virtual—oops! But I caught the sessions I wanted to, before and after the reading and a couple days later, I was able to catch the sessions I missed with replay links.
Finally, The FOLD started on April 27th. I watched most of it in replay, because working.
Finnish classes continued throughout the month on Monday nights.
I had a lovely massage on the 9th. Have I mentioned how much I love my RMT?
My semi-annual dentist appointment was on the 23rd.
My support group also met on the evening of the 23rd. The topic this month was meltdowns and shutdowns.
And I enjoyed the long Easter weekend rest.
What I’m watching and reading
I finished watching the whole run of the original X-Men (Disney +). I remember seeing a few episodes, here and there, but I was mostly past my cartoon-watching phase by the time the show ran. And yes, I’m that old. Enjoyable, but the animation does not age well. I wanted to watch the series mostly as a background for X-Men ’97, which is what I’m watching now.
Then, I finished watching the second season of Severance (Apple TV +). Just, OMG, so good! I can’t really say anything about this series without spoiling it. Several major reveals. Mark S and Mark Scout have a conversation. How many severed personalities does Gemma have? And is she safe now? What do Mark S and Helly R intend to do? And yeah, it’s all vague-booking. But it is one of the, if not the, best series on streaming today.
Next, Phil and I watched the third season of Wheel of Time (Prime). Everyone (almost) levels up. Perrin becomes Lord Perrin Goldeneyes after his defense of Two Rivers from the Trolloc hoards, but Loial sacrifices himself to close the Waygate and Perrin hands himself over to the Whitecloaks. Rand travels to the Aiel Waste and enters Rhuidean where he undergoes a trial. He finally sheds Lanfear’s influence and becomes the Ca’ra’carn while Morgaine defeats Lanfear. Nyneave finally overcomes her block when Leandrin tries to kill her. Mat reunites with Min and encounters an Eelfinn who grants him three wishes. Though he gets rid of the memories haunting him since he blew the Horn of Valere, the Eelfinn hangs him as part of the “price.” A lot (and I mean a LOT) more happens, but that’s all I’ll say here. It’s worth watching.
Then I watched Flow (Crave). A-MA-zing! I can see why this movie won a Golden Globe and Academy Award. This is a movie that will stick with me for a while, and it may take some time and potentially additional viewings to tease out all the implications. No humans, no dialogue, and no narrative or voiceover. Just animals, the sounds of nature, and story. First impressions though . . . a fable about climate change; a non-human version of the flood myth; a post-human (post-apocalyptic?) world; an affirmation of animal intelligence and emotion; a bittersweet tale of found family and unavoidable loss; a secretary bird as Christ figure. Like I said, I’m going to be thinking about Flow for a while. Loved this movie SO HARD.
I also watched The Electric State (Netflix). This movie was a little different from the other robot-related media I’ve been taking in recently (The Wild Robot, A Psalm for the Wild-Built). Definitely not as cozy. In this world, Robots and humans went to war in the 90s. Protagonist Michelle is the only survivor of a car crash that happened as her family tried to escape the conflict. Shortly thereafter, Sentre CEO Ethan Skate invents neurocaster technology, allowing humans to remotely control drone robots and win the war. Neurocaster technology becomes universal after that. Everyone works, learns, and plays using their neurocasters. Everyone, that is, except Michelle, who is traumatized by losing her family and years of trying to survive foster care. Until a robot shows up that she figures out is her brother and she sets off to rescue his body from Sentre.
This movie was adapted from the graphic novel of the same name and has been largely panned, despite being written by the McFeelys, produced by the Russos, and having a star-studded cast. It’s also one of the most expensive movies ever produced, which may have something to do with the critical response. I didn’t think it was that bad. Yes, there were a lot of missed opportunities, but it was a perfectly enjoyable post-apocalyptic action movie. You can’t really go all in on the action movie vibe and have a deep philosophical conversation about technology, humanity, and whether the kid in Omelas needs to be freed at the expense of the society their suffering made possible. That’s one of the missed opportunities I was talking about.
My first read of April (April!) 2025 was Somewhere Beyond the Sea by TJ Klune, the second of the Cerulean Chronicles. This novel continues the tale begun in The House on the Cerulean Sea, in which Linus Baker, a hapless drone in the Department in Charge of Magical Youth (DiCoMY), finds his life upended in the most pleasant way when he is assigned to assess the conditions in one of DiCoMY’s orphanages for magical children.
This novel is told from Arthur Parnassus’s perspective. He’s worked hard to make a good life on the ashes of his old one. Literally. Abused as a child in the same orphanage he returned to run, Arthur still hasn’t overcome the trauma of his past. Though he now has a loving partner in Linus and six wonderful magical children, the Department in Charge of Magical Adults (DiCoMA) and DiCoMY have it out for him, calling him to testify in a thinly veiled attempt to discredit him and take the children he has applied to adopt.
Somewhere Beyond the Sea is a story of resistance, lovingly told, about the daunting experience of fighting for the life you want to live and doing the work to keep it. Loved!
Then, I read A Thousand Tiny Awakenings, an anthology edited by Connor Lafortune and Lindsay Mayhew. This elegant, slim anthology features the poetry and prose of 15 dynamic young voices. Every piece in the anthology is a wakeup call.
I listened to English Fairly Tales by Flora Annie Steel. A lot of familiar material in this collection of tales, and a lot of surprising intersections with the Norwegian Folktales I read last month.
Next, I read Heavenly Tyrant by Xiran Jay Zhao, the second in her Iron Widow series. At the end of the first novel, Zetien had just revived Emperor Qin Zheng and lost Shimin when the gods took the wreckage of the Vermilion Bird to the Heavenly Court. Now she and Qin Zheng are reluctantly thrust together as Emperess and Emperor and Zetien must play the part perfectly. The gods are watching. Qin Zheng sets off a Communist revolution and Zetien uses her influence to improve the lives of women. Secretly, Qin Zheng trains Zetien so they’ll be ready to attack the Heavenly Court and kill the gods. Excellent!
And I caught the place where Zhao wanted to include “The Peggy Hill Amendment.” IYKYK. LMAO.
Then, I read Indian Fairy Tales, collected and edited by Joseph Jacobs. The more folk and fairy tales I read from different cultures, the more similarities I find. It’s interesting to get this taste of another culture’s tales. Very good.
I finished reading A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers. Gave me the same vibes as The Wild Robot. It’s set in a post-industrial world in which robots decided they would no longer work in factories for humans. Centuries after the robots wandered into the wilderness, society has settled into a kind of ecological utopia. Small, self-sustaining communities, green energy, but there is still technology. In this world, the best tea monk (read therapist) in Panga finds themselves dissatisfied with their life. They set out to find an ancient hermitage. And then, a robot walks out of the wilderness. Truly lovely.
Next, I listened to Zen Cho’s short fiction collection Spirits Abroad. These ten speculative stories weave together Malaysian myth and folklore with everyday life. A Datin recalls her romance with an orang bunian; a teenage pontianak struggles to balance homework, bossy aunties, first love, and eating people; an earth spirit gets entangled in protracted negotiations with an annoying landlord; we watch Chang E evolve over the course of four generations; an imugi is foiled in its ascent to dragonhood, but when it seeks revenge on the human responsible, it falls in love with her instead (such a lovely story!); and a timid second wife tries to escape her life in hell. When these stories are brought to life by a narrator who knows the language and idiomatic speech of the characters, it’s even better. Loved!
Then, I finished reading Linghun by Ai Jiang. This Nebula-Award-winning novella is a modern gothic. Set in the mysterious town of Home, a place where people who can’t release their beloved dead move to reunite with them, Linghun tells the story of Wenqi, Liam, and Mrs. Wenqi’s family has moved from Toronto into one of Home’s haunted houses to summon the ghost of her brother, who died when he was a child. Wenqi barely remembers him and wants to go back to Toronto and live an actual life. Liam and his family are “lingerers,” people who can’t afford a haunted house and engage in blood-sport auctions when one becomes available. Liam has been assigned the task of making Wenqi and her family give up their house, but Liam has other ideas. Mrs. lives and dies in the house where her deceased husband refuses to apparate, but she has a strange connection to both Wenqi and Liam. Great, creepy read!
And that was the month in this writer’s life.
Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!
I acknowledge with respect that I am in Robinson-Huron Treaty territory, that the land from which I write is the traditional territory of the Anishinaabe and home of Atikameksheng Anishnawbek and Wahnapitae First Nation.
Tariffs in March! And now April! 25%! Make that 50%! No! 250%! I’m trying not to get drawn into the black hole-like news cycle, but it’s hard. It’s everywhere on every social media feed, on the radio, on the television. I’m trying to engage selectively and still respect my need not to be completely dysregulated by trashfire 2025. It’s a challenging balance to strike.
Interestingly Premiere Ford got Trump to back down after imposing counter tariffs on energy supply. I can’t keep up. Then again, I really don’t want to.
But Phil keeps me informed.
There are signs things might be imploding, thanks to brave journalists and grass-roots resistance, and interesting statements coming from behind party lines saying the Orange Menace is “off book.”
The Canadian armed forces are running exercises and one of Trudeau’s last acts as Prime Minister was to commission new warships to be built, providing a domestic market for our steel. Will it be enough to replace what will be lost to the tariff war? Probably not, but it will be enough to keep people working.
Mark Carney became our new Prime Minister on the 14th and immediately repealed the carbon tax, essentially removing Pollievre’s main campaign platform. He’s also strengthening ties with the EU.
And now a federal election is being called. Things are moving so fast.
Daylight saving time arrived and, as per usual, my body’s still living on standard time. I’m messed up for at least 2 weeks. EVERY. GD. TIME.
My favourite DST/Princess Bride meme.
But shit at work is getting done. I’m just trying to get one thing done at a time, move onto the next thing, and not freak out. This too, is hard.
The month in writing
I finished this draft of Reality Bomb on March 2nd! Cue the Snoopy happy dance/flailing Kermit arms/what have you. But the draft now stands at 122,616 words. It’s a step up (or down, depending on your perspective) from the 124,527 words the last draft was, but it’s still too big. So, there’s more work in my future. There always is.
My final meeting with Suzy was on the 6th. I’d had a dysregulating day at work and was open about it. Still the meeting got me focusing on my work-in-progress and not the umpteen-million things waiting to be done at work. So, it was good.
Now to take a break from RB proper, I’m turning to my query and synopsis. I’ll use those to guide my next passes. I want to cut back to 110k, if not 100k, though I doubt I’ll be able to manage the latter. We’ll see.
I’m writing poetry here and there as well.
Definitely emerging from my winter cave.
Got a poetry reading together with another local poet, Vera Constantineau at the South End branch of the Greater Sudbury Public Library on April 12th at 2 pm.
Reached out to another local author about informal mentoring. Will connect with her sometime in April as well.
Finally, I’m starting to write reviews. My first one, on Lisa Timpf’s Cats and Dogs in Space, went up on Amazing Stories online on March 24th.
In writerly business, the first SF Canada quarterly board meeting of 2025 was on the 31st.
Filling the well
The full suckerfish moon in Virgo and blood moon eclipse was on the 14th. I didn’t stay up late enough to see the eclipse but did a guided meditation.
Spring arrived on the 20th. Lit up my altar and thought about the snow melting.
And the new ash moon and partial solar eclipse in Aries was on the 29th. Did another short, guided meditation.
I’ve been playing hide and seek with the moon, lately. If it hasn’t been completely overcast, what clouds there are make the lady hard to find. Often, I can’t get a good view until after dark and I still can’t take a decent nighttime photo with my phone to save my life. I hope things will improve now that the season is changing.
In writerly events, I attended Navigating Publishing Today with Mark Leslie Lefebvre and Suzy Vadori on the 7th. It was a fabulous session that became a fabulous Show, Don’t Tell podcast episode!
Later that same day, I attended a Canada Council for the Arts information session about updates to their programming and submissions system. The changes won’t be taking place until the summer, but things look promising.
The Canada Council annual public meeting was on the 19th.
The first three of four webinars in Cece Lyra’s Starting it Right series were on the 20th, the 27th, and the 30th. If you’ve ever signed up for a Cece Lyra webinar, you know it’s going long. She’s so passionate about writing.
Spring Finnish classes started up on the 17th and will continue for 8 weeks, as per usual. Again, I’m showing improvement.
On the 21st, I attended an Authors Publish webinar on how to get your manuscript submission-ready with Alexandra Leggat.
I attended an information session of the Canada Council’s new Artistic Creation grants on the 26th.
My support group met on the 26th to discuss work-specific accommodations.
I had another blissful week off work from the 17th to the 21st.
What I’m watching and reading
I watched the first season of Cross (Prime). A compelling arc in which Alex Cross deals with the trauma of his wife’s death, tries to protect his family from a stalker, and hunts down a serial killer who modifies his victims to look like famous serial killers of the past. It’s all kinds of creepy, but very good.
Then, I finished watching before (Apple TV +). This psychological horror wasn’t really my cuppa. Billy Crystal plays a child psychologist about to retire after his wife commits suicide (before cancer can do the job). A young boy inexplicably wanders into his house, and he feels an immediate connection. When he later meets the boy at the hospital, he decides to take on one last case. It could be a complex case of transference and countertransference, or there could be something supernatural happening. The ending is ambiguous.
Phil and I finished watching the latest season of Invincible (Prime). Mark deals with having a little brother, but unlike Dawn in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Oliver has superpowers too, and they manifest while he’s still a kid. It makes things challenging for Debbie, who’s trying to move on from Nolan. Speaking of whom, Allen finally convinces Nolan to break out of the Viltrumite gulag he’s in, but that’s the last we see of him for the season, though he drops a juicy bomb on Allen before their last scene ends. Mark is also trying to deal with the fallout from Angstrom Leavy, whom he thinks he killed. A whole passel of Invincibles from other worlds invade, and then Conquest arrives from Viltrum and kills . . . lots of people. There’s more, but I’ll just leave you with that taste. It’s as bloody as ever, and the last episode sets up at least four major threats for season four.
Next, I watched The Wild Robot (Prime). I laughed. I cried. I did not pee my pants. I swear. A service robot ends up on an uninhabited (by humans) island and tries to fulfill its mission. Seriously, my heart, y’all. Now I shall have to read the book. Watch it! It’s awesome! And just what you need to defrag your hard drive of all the bullshittery happening in the world.
Then, Phil and I watched the end of Silo, season two (Apple TV +). Phil didn’t watch season one with me, and I found it kind of weird when he decided he liked the series partway through season two. It was so good, though. Juliette survives cleaning thanks to her friends in supply and makes her way through a field of corpses to the next silo, which appears to be abandoned and flooded. Back at the original silo, Bernard prepares for the inevitable crisis that follows a survived cleaning. Juliette solves mysteries at the new silo while Bernard recruits Kyle to solve mysteries in the old, while mechanical foments rebellion. The final flashback scene is cryptic, but I’m looking forward to what the next season brings. I’ve only read the first book in the series, so I have some catching up to do.
I also finished the first season of Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man (Disney +). Love the opening with the updated version of the classic 70s Spiderman theme. Almost every character has comics significance and the potential to become a superhero in their own rights. Dr. Connor’s is a woman of colour! It’s also, clearly, a multiverse story. *Mild Spoilers* Ben is not dead, but in prison. There is no Mary-Jane Watson (yet?). Peter’s origin story is original and circular (the events of the first and last episodes converge). So much fun!
Next, I finished watching Interior Chinatown (Disney +). Based on the novel of the same name by Charles Yu. It’s better if you think of it as INT. CHINATOWN. Like a screenplay because that’s very much the way this series is presented. Very meta. Willis Wu works as a waiter in his family’s restaurant, but years ago, his brother disappeared, and he’s been worrying at the mystery ever since. He inserts himself into the police department by delivering takeout, moves through tech guy and translator roles until he’s a detective and reopens his brother’s cold case.
Phil caught part of a few episodes and asked, “Is it intentional, or is this show badly written?” And I forgave him because he didn’t get the premise. I can’t explain things more here without getting all kinds of spoilery. The concept is that intertwined with the story. But the show is worth the initial confusion and clichéd dialogue. Trust me. There’s a moment when you say to yourself, oh . . . so that’s what he’s doing. I recently listened to an interview with Yu on the Our Opinions Are Correct podcast. That’s worth a listen, too.
Then, I finished watching season 2 of The Irrational (CityTV). It remains an interesting twist on the police procedural, focusing on psychologist Alex Mercer and his team of graduate assistants. Sometimes they help the police. Often, they help the FBI or rely on their resources because Alex has an in through his ex-wife Marissa. This season, they were even called in to help NASA. And Alex’s new girlfriend, Rose, is former MI-6 and a professional “fixer.” It’s an intriguing mix of characters and relationships that keeps the mysteries they solve feeling fresh.
Finally, I watched Wicked (Prime) over two nights for spoons reasons. Not having read the book (though I have it . . . somewhere in my TBR pile) or seen the play, I had nothing to compare it to and thoroughly enjoyed it, despite not being terribly fond of musicals. I loved the animal justice subplot. And I will now have to find the novel and move it up in the pile.
My first read of March 2025 was Zen Cho’s Sorcerer to the Crown. This was a delightful alternate historical fantasy. It feels regency, but there are mentions of Napoleon still being in power in France, so Napoleonic? Zacharias Wythe is the new Sorcerer Royal, after his guardian, the previous Sorcerer Royal, dies under mysterious circumstances. Because he’s also an emancipated slave and person of colour, the rest of the Society of Unnatural Philosophers want to find a way to oust him, but Zacharias’ position is dependent upon the acceptance of the previous Sorcerer Royal’s staff and familiar, both of which he has, though no one can claim to have seen the latter . . .
But Zacharias has a mystery to solve, that of Britain’s decreased magic levels, and he is inveighed upon by a friend to deliver a tedious lecture to a witch’s school on the way. At the school, Zacharias sees the horrid way in which women with magical ability are treated, and he meets Prunella Gentleman, a young woman of colour and of most startling ability. Together, they embark upon a mission to change magical education in Britain—and the rest of the world—forever. Chef’s kiss!
Then, I read The Complete and Original Norwegian Folktales of Asbjørnsen and Moe, translated by Tiina Nunnally. Yes, there’s a forward by a certain fantasy author, currently accused of SA, but I glossed over that, disinterested in finding anything useful or clever there. The translator included Asbjørnsen and Moe’s notes, and they were far more entertaining.
These folktales unsurprisingly feature trolls as the main antagonists, often with multiple (5, 10, 15 or 3, 6, 9) heads. Ashlad is frequently the clever young hero, but young girls are also clever heroines. There are talking animals who often beg to be killed (beheaded, these tales are fond of beheading) and assist the protagonist beyond their apparent deaths and sometimes transform into princes after the fact. There are several tales in which the protagonist is forbidden to look into rooms in their guardians’ homes, but that’s where the similarly to Bluebeard ends. Enjoyed this collection quite a bit.
Next, I read Rogue Protocol by Martha Wells, the third Murderbot novella. Murderbot is on its own and gets roped into protecting another band of hapless humans from GrayCris Corp. And they have their own bot, Miki, who is irritating to no end. Murderbot just wants to watch some quality series . . . Excellent!
Then, I read the follow-up to Sorcerer to the Crown, The True Queen by Zen Cho. Muna and Sakti awaken in the surf of Janda Baik, Malaysia with no memory of who they are except that they must be sisters. But they have been cursed and must travel to distant Britain, where Crown Sorceress (minor spoilers for book 1—sorry, not sorry) Prunella Wythe has established a school for young sorceresses. When Sakti is abducted on their way to Britain through the unseen world, though, Muna must try to rescue her sister even though she has no magic. Queer romance abounds. Loved, if possible, even more than book 1!
Then, I listened to the very short audiobook of Cajun Folklore by J.J. Reneaux. Lots of clever characters in these tales. Enjoyed.
I listened to Cat o’ Nine Tales: The Jane Yellowrock Stories by Faith Hunter. It was my first dip into Jane Yellowrock, though these novels have been on my radar for years . . . I’m kind of embarrassed. Jane is a Cherokee woman and skinwalker, bonded to the spirit of Beast, a mountain lion, after an accident involving black magic when she was a child. She’s primarily a vampire hunter but branches out to any supernatural threat. These stories fit in between Hunter’s novels and provide an entertaining and bloody overview of Jane’s adventures and entanglements. Thoroughly enjoyed.
Next, I listened (can you tell most of this was during my week off when listening is the most I can be arsed to do) to the super-short, incredibly hilarious, but still informative Audible Original How to Survive Menopause by Samantha Bee. Basically, a stand-up set, but everything you need to hear if you have ovaries.
Then, I listened to Amal El-Mohtar’s The River Has Roots. This retelling of the Bonny Swans has it all. Grammar as music as magic. A sentient river. Two ancient willows at the edge of the fairy realm. Two sisters whose love defies death. There are several significant departures from the folktale/song it’s based on, but to explain more than I already have will spoil this truly lovely story. It is gentle and kind and everything we need right now. Amazing. LOVED!
My last listen during my week off was The Abolitionists, an Audible Original/The Great Courses collaboration with Professor Kellie Carter Jackson. She covers the origins of the movement, Harper’s Ferry, the civil war, and the underground railroad. Excellent.
Finally, I finished On Writing and Worldbuilding, Volume 1 by Tim Hickson. I’ve been a fan of his YouTube channel, Hello, Future Me for years now, and finally bought all three of his W&W books (to date). They’re based on the craft advice he shares on his channel. I like his philosophy of writing, and I enjoyed the book. It’s now on my craft writing shelf.
And that was the month in this writer’s life.
Until next month, be well and stay safe; be kind and stay strong. The world needs your stories!
I acknowledge with respect that I am in Robinson-Huron Treaty territory, that the land from which I write is the traditional territory of the Anishinaabe and home of Atikameksheng Anishnawbek and Wahnapitae First Nation.
The complex problems with mental illness in fiction. *Please be aware that this video essay discusses suicide, self-harm, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and other mental health issues. While it’s very well done (in my opinion), the video offers no solutions. If you prefer not to watch, do not click through on this one.* Hello Future Me
I must say that June was a blockbuster month for me.
It started with the publication of my science fiction short story “The Broken Places” being published in Bastion Science Fiction Magazine. Still so excited about that.
I attended June’s @M2the5th Twitter chat with Roz Morris, focusing on her Nail Your Novel series. I’m learning quite a bit from these, and though we cancelled July’s because, Independence Day, we’ll be getting back to our monthly schedule in August.
A comment on last month’s update had me a little concerned about what my readers might be taking away from these posts. It seems May’s update was taken as a warning about social media. If the warning was timely and helpful, great, but it’s not the message I hoped to convey.
The adjustable desk is working out very well, and I’m now standing for longer between rests. At work, I read a post from a learning and development blogger in which he discussed his experience with his standing desk, which he described as continual fidgeting.
He uses a kitchen stool to take a periodic break from standing and has discovered that he can’t write while standing (!) Thankfully, that hasn’t been my experience.
CanWrite! 2014 was a great time, as usual. I’ve been blogging the panels, sessions, and workshops I’ve attended on a weekly basis.
Another piece of exciting writerly news arrived when I returned home from the conference: another speculative short story, “On the Ferry,” made it into the top ten in the When Words Collide writing contest.
This means I’ll appear in their chapbook anthology, In Places Between, though I’ll have to wait until the conference to find out if I’ve placed. Still. Squee-worthy.
Last month, I had a blogging disruption around the arrival of my desk and spent most of my non-blogging writing time working through Initiate of Stone, all of that work in long hand. Though I completed a lot of work on IoS, I wasn’t able to capture a word count from it.
In last month’s update, I mentioned I would be getting back to countable writing.
June’s total word count: 18,471!!!!!
13,425 of those words were on my blog, but 5,046 were written in Gerod and the Lions. I set myself a goal of 5k for the month on that project, and I made it. The draft is now just over 10k words and I’ll have a workable draft by the end of the year 😀
I only just started working on Figments (my NaNo project from last year) as I had worked on IoS last month. In all fairness, I have a little more to do with Figments than I had to do on IoS.
First, I’m mapping it. This is something I picked up from reading Donald Maass’s The Breakout Novelist. For each chapter, I list the title, page count, word count, the first and last lines (both hooks, one to draw the reader into the chapter and the other to propel the reader onward), the purpose of the chapter, in story terms, the internal and external conflicts, and finally, what changes for the story, and for the POV character as a result of the chapter.
These are actually from several separate exercises in Maass’s workbook, but I’ve cobbled them together to create my map. These are like index cards and I can rearrange them as needed when I work on the structure of the story. I can see where I might have to divide longer chapters, and fairly easily pick out plot points, pinch points, reversals, etc.
Once I get the mapping done, I’ll fiddle with Figments’s structure and tighten things up, work through a beat sheet ala Roz Morris, and finally reverse engineer the plot with Victoria Mixon’s holographic structure.
June has taught me that I can’t draft one project and then work by hand on another project simultaneously. I’m going to try alternating and see how that goes.
And that is all the Writerly Goodness I have for you tonight.
How are your works-in-progress coming, my friends?
Coming up this month: An interview with author and editor Mat Del Papa on his new anthology Creepy Capreol, I take another shot at the writing process blog hop, the review of Katie’s book, more CanWrite! reportage, and a couple of poems with creation stories.
I posted my wee interview with John back in November.
He’s kept in touch with me through Facebook and let me know when his signings were. Though I had to miss his Coles appearance, I wanted to get out a meet John face-to-face at some point.
I’ve never understood why it’s become common practice to write the author bio in the 3rd person. John R. Cameron lives in Sudbury, Ontario. If you’re taking the time to read my bio, isn’t it because you’re essentially interviewing me for a chance to be a part of your life for a short while?
Hi. I’m John.
I have a wife and a kid. They often drive me to the brink of madness; not a difficult thing to do, considering how close to the edge I already am. My daughter is a hellion. At the age of six, she’s both bright and bold, obstinate, and pushes every button I have. My wife blames my genetics: “I was never like that,” she claims. I deny it, despite knowing that I was also an uncontrollable child.
I’m thirty, and a teacher. I’m very worried about the current state of education. I’m concerned about the future, in general. I don’t think we all necessarily need to be alarmists, though I do believe that if you look at the world around you and aren’t a little worried, you and I probably aren’t going to agree on much. (Don’t worry, I’ll pretend not to look while you navigate elsewhere. There’s plenty of other entertainment online. Crushing Candy, and so forth…)
WG: When did writing first come into your life (or vice versa)? Give us the origin story of John Cameron, Superhero Writer.
JRC: I’ve been an avid reader my entire life. I was one of those people who sat around saying, “I’m going to write a book one day,” but just never got around to it. I can’t claim that I couldn’t have found the time. I’d be lying if I did. I’ve pissed away a solid three decades of my life. Over the past few years, it’s like the thoughts running through my mind have turned into a constant third person narrative. We’ll call it the ‘itch’, I suppose. I realized the day was coming when I’d open a Word file, and start typing. I just didn’t know when that day would come, or what I’d be writing about. Until this past winter, I’d never made any attempt at a serious literary endeavour.
WG: What was the idea that became The Second Lives of Honest Men and how did it occur to you?
JRC: In December of 2011, I walked away from a terrible car crash. This was only because of blind luck, or fate, or whatever you’d like to call it. I slammed into a guard rail doing 100 kilometres an hour, backwards. I was pushing it – trying to get home on the first snowy day of winter, before the roads got worse. I rounded a bend, and low and behold, that stretch of road was worse. I fishtailed back and forth over the slush, trying to correct my course. It was a hopeless effort, and I quickly lost control. I clutched the steering wheel and braced myself against the seat, preparing for the inevitable. I blew out seven posts of the short, twenty post rail, coming to a dead stop in the middle of the highway. It was the only guard rail on that side of the kilometre long stretch.
I could have hit one of the many rock cuts, or been flung into the deep, stony valley between the East and Westbound lanes. Instead, I momentarily laughed off my good fortune while I waited for a tow truck. I even went bowling that night. When you walk away from an accident like that, the implications of ‘what if?’ begin encroaching on your soul. The harder you try not to think about it, the more the darkness grips you. I eventually came to terms with what mortality really is, and what it really means. I spent the better part of 2012 in a deep apathy, as I began seeing a lot of things in an entirely new light. I questioned how I’d been interpreting the world around me, and what my role was in it. In October of 2012, I was watching television with a good friend while we discussed the problems of society; how the moral compass seemed to be broken. An advertisement for Spielberg’s Lincoln came on during a commercial break. I made an off-hand remark, something to the effect of, “Maybe that’s what we need – Honest Abe to travel through time, and come fix things.” The idea was one I simply couldn’t shake. A premise, characters, and a rough plot formed in my head over the next few weeks. When I had enough pieces of the puzzle, I opened up the Word file and set to work.
WG: How long has it taken to take The Second Lives of Honest Men from idea to finished manuscript? Can you give us some idea of your drafting or revision process in your response?
JRC: My first draft took me seven weeks, working on it 8-10 hours a day, often more. I think the word is ‘obsessed.’ Once I felt that it was reasonably polished, I printed ten copies, and brought it to my first group of beta-readers. A month later, I met with each of the readers, gathering honest, critical feedback. After this process, I had a pretty good feel for what the book was lacking, and had some ideas how to improve it. I made several major changes to a couple of characters, altered some aspects of the plot, and narrative… It was a fairly extensive edit, that added about 6,000 words to the manuscript. I brought the second draft to a Philosophy professor and a History professor, both of whom were very encouraging, and willing to offer more great feedback. The third draft was a less exhausting revision than my second one was, and it saw its way to several more professors (three English professors and another History professor), and to many other people in my life. Again, all the feedback was extremely positive, and the additional advice was also great. One of the English professors convinced me to do two things: Write a fourth draft to fix a few lingering problems, and hire a professional editor. I’d hoped to avoid the latter. He made the case that no matter how good the book was, ‘Even Stephen King has an editor.’ That’s a rather humbling statement if ever there was one. So, I wrote the fourth draft, and had it professionally edited.
WG: When you mentioned your genre to me, you admitted that it sounded convoluted.
Writerly Goodness challenge time!
Imagine I am a high-powered literary agent, like Kristin Nelson, Janet Reid, or Donald Maass. If I told you I could negotiate you a six-figure advance if you could nail down your genre, what would you say?
JRC: I always try to explain it like this: If you asked George Orwell what genre 1984 fell into, I seriously doubt the answer he would have given is “Science Fiction.” (Or, like me, he simply cringed whenever he was asked the question.) That’s the genre we typically associate with his novel, however; that is, the genre that our culture has branded it with through the passing of time. My book (should anyone ever care enough to define it) will undoubtedly be classified as science fiction. Like 1984, it’s set in an urban dystopia. I tried to use only as much science fiction as necessary to carry the plot, and have been relentless in making that aspect of the book accessible to readers of all genres. Personally? I think of The Second Lives of Honest Men as a character driven, philosophical odyssey that touches on technology, truth, freedom, hope, and redemption.
*Sigh.* I’m not getting that advance, am I?
WG: All kidding aside, you’ve opted for self-publishing over a traditional publishing deal. Why have you chosen that route?
JRC: Several reasons. I feel that my book is very relevant to today’s world, and the problems which we’re facing as a society. I’ve seen so many authors who try to go the traditional route, and they often end up disappointed, jaded with the system, and their hard work sits on a shelf (or in a file) for years. Eventually, they simply give up on it, the moment of ‘now’ having passed them by. I can only imagine how many great books have been written by authors who never saw their work get published. I don’t want to be one of them.
Over the past five years, the traditional publishing model has been flipped upside down. E-book sales represent about 30% of the market, a number that’s sure to climb as people continue to shun paper, using digital formats instead. The big traditional publishers won’t look at newcomers, and the small ones often don’t have the push to establish a new author. Big or small, traditional publishers expect authors to do most of their own promoting, then thank you for your hard work by taking the lion’s share of the profit. I don’t blame them for the business model: Most books don’t do well, and they ride out the losers by standing on the backs of their best authors. By self publishing a well crafted e-book at a modest price on all the major e-sellers, and having Print on Demand paperbacks available through Amazon, I can access a world-wide market. There are many successful authors using this business platform, bypassing traditional publishing routes to put food on their tables. Being able to take care of my family while I do what I love – I think that’s the dream of every author, no?
WG: What’s next for you and The Second Lives of Honest Men?
JRC: I’ve heard people say something to the effect of, “Writing the book is easy. The hard part comes after.” Let me tell you something: Writing the book wasn’t easy. My first draft may have only taken two months to complete, but they were also two of the most emotionally draining months I’ve ever been through. Still, the parable isn’t wrong in the sense that the harder part does come after. The editing process required a vast amount of work. The biggest obstacle was learning to put my faith in other people’s opinions. I only gave the book to people that I trusted to tell me the things I didn’t want to hear. And they did. It was always painful, as I listened to their advice over a hot drink (or a cold beer.) I’d scowl, counter-argue, and on some points I’d simply hold my tongue. After a number of days, (or weeks), a smattering of what they’d said would start sinking in. I’d be haunted by their voices as I tried, in vain, to sleep. I worked hard on the manuscript, mollifying the voices one by one, and repeating this process through each new draft (and each new round of well meant criticism), until I could finally rest. I passed the manuscript off to my editor the next day, and sent her a cheque. I struggled with the decision of what to write in the memo field. I finally settled on, ‘In Editor We Trust.’
Navigating the world of self-publishing has been an ordeal of its own. The Internet brings you a lot of information, but almost all of it conflicts. I made mistakes along the way – none fatal, but some costly. The good thing is that while I was waiting for my different rounds of beta readers to give me feedback, it left me plenty of time to prepare the other aspects of the book that a publisher normally takes care of: conceptualizing the cover, finding an artist, an editor, the best places to list the e-book, to promote the e-book, hiring (and working with) a website designer, finding a company to convert the book into slick, multi device / multi client formatted .epub, .mobi , and Print on Demand files…
Anyway, long story short… It’s finally all come together. The book is now for sale on all major e-sellers, and available in paperback through Amazon.
The Second Lives of Honest Men – cover
The website is up, and I’ll be using it as a platform to coordinate my Facebook, Goodreads, and Twitter accounts. You can visit at www.johnrcameron.com , www.thesecondlivesofhonestmen.com , or www.embracetheirony.com. (All three domains lead to the same website.) I have a well crafted, fun short story that I’ve made available on the website for free: Moonshine Perfume. I’ll also be writing short essays (I think they call them blogs, now) to accompany any more short stories that I find the time to write.
I’ll have a table at the Paranormal Show in Sudbury, Ontario, on November 30th, where I’ll be premiering the book and signing copies. The Paranormal Show itself is “a spectacular assortment of Supernatural feats that will make you question everything you thought you understood about REALITY.” – For more info, check out the Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/events/590105517693380/
Come for the stage show, stay to check out the great work of local artists and authors.
I’ll be having signings at some of the more traditional outlets early in the new year: dates to be announced.
Always Looking Up 