Alison Flood reports that after a year inside, novelists are struggling to write. Some have been struggling all along. Others havenāt. Still others have noticed a distinct lack in the quality of the work they manage to produce. The Guardian
As ever, thank you for taking the time to visit. I hope you took away something to support your current work in progress.
Until Thursday, be well and stay safe, my writerly friends!
Hanna Beech reports that Daw Aung Sun Suu Kyi is detained amid coup. Several countries have already spoken out against the move despite Myanmarās problematic human rights record (read Rohinga genocide). The New York Times
I hope everyone had a good January (after the 6th) and that the slowly lengthening days are infusing you with new energy.
Iāve felt better in recent weeks myself and am taking steps to lose the ācovid 19ā I put on since March. Iāve recruited Phil, who does the shopping and cooking, my mom, and a friend as a support group. Iām already measuring progress.
While the numbers of covid infections have been dropping due to provincial lockdowns and curfews, I think talk of reopening is premature. We need to stay on track long enough for the vaccination supply, distribution, and scheduling gets back on track. Once the manufacturing issues have been resolved, we should be good.
If we can get daily infection numbers to less than 1000 in the worst-affected provinces (Ontario, Quebec, Alberta, and BC) on a stable basis and have our most vulnerable populations (front-line health care workers, seniors, Indigenous peoples, and other POC) vaccinated, we can reconsider. Yes, itās inconvenient. Yes, the economy is suffering. But I think public health is more important than the economy at the moment. Weāll recover. Weāll survive. The economy will, too.
Locally, weāve had outbreaks (defined as two or more cases) in several public and high schools, seniorsā residences and nursing homes, a group home, and the hospital. Weāve even identified cases of the āvariants of concern.ā Again, cases are going down, overall. All sites report that people are self-isolating, getting tested, and that all outbreaks are considered to be under control at this time.
The month in writing
There wasnāt a lot of writing this month. As I mentioned in my last update, Iāve decided not to dive into another novel right away. I want to give myself time to recover from 2020, solidify learning, and prepare to apply lessons learned to existing and new projects. More on this in a bit.
I wrote eight new poems. Iād planned to write seven, and so achieved 114% of my goal. I also submitted two batches of poems, both of which were not accepted, and I sent a proposal for my poetry collection to another small press.
I revised one short story, which was my goal. Iād allotted 1,500 words but ended up deleting more than I wrote. I wrote 187 new words, or only 12% of my goal. Just now, I realized that I forgot to update the word count on the story before I submitted it, but I did submit it. Iāll call it a win.
I also wrote my latest Speculations column for DIY MFA, which was published last week. The column came in at 768 words, or 77% of my 1,000-word goal.
And I blogged 4,532 words, or 129% of my 3,500-word goal.
Overall, I wrote 107% of my goal and revised 12%.
Other than those projects, I have a number of things Iām working on that Iām not tracking. Iām making revision notes for various pieces of short fiction, continuing work on the Ascension series guide, and making some revision notes for Marushka.
Iām also slowly updating this site and other social media images. Nothing major.
A vulnerable time
Three members of my critique group paused and submitted what theyād reviewed to date and asked me if they wanted me to continue. I completely misunderstood one of these messages, thinking that critique partner had chosen to stop altogether at that point.
I was thrown. I sorted out the misunderstanding and asked them all to continue but had to wonder if Iād given everyone the impression that I was especially fragile.
In reviewing the feedback, however, I felt reactive. I didnāt want to be, though. Maybe I am fragile. How can I learn to improve if I donāt know what the problems are? Itās a battle Iāll have to fight with myself.
Last year, Iād rewritten Reality Bomb, not referring to the earlier draft and then I gave it two passes to cut the word count down. I was trying a new approach to revising, because I have a habit on not making substantial revisions if Iām working in the same document. I may cut too much, though, or the wrong things. I may have focused on all the wrong things in the rewrite. Whatever the situation is, there are still significant problems with the draft.
Maybe Iām too much in my head. I approached the whole rewrite and revision too cerebrally. I canāt seem to get the emotion on the page. But Iām very closed down emotionally, in general. I donāt seem to respond to people like they expect. Maybe Iām neurodiverse. I just paused to take a self-assessment and scored high. Maybe I should get formally assessed.
Ultimately, Iāll need this month to develop my approach to reviewing the feedback and the next round of revisions on my novel. It was my hope to address the revisions in the month of March, but there may be so much to improve that I wonāt be able to do that. I have to set that worry aside, though. Until I review all the feedback, I wonāt have an idea of how much work there is to be done or how Iāll have to adjust my yearās writing plan and goals.
Add to that the fact that Iām in learning mode at work for the first time in 12 years. Iām feeling stupid and wrong and that this acting wonāt be extended because I wonāt be able to prove myself or be accepted as a member of my new team (cause Iām socially awkward). Iām doubting myself on all fronts.
I know that they way Iām feeling isnāt based in truth. Iāve won contests. Iāve been published in paying markets. Iāve been validated. Iāve had a successful 20-year career in the public service. When I was offered this acting position, my old team offered me an equivalent promotional position to stay. I do not, objectively, suck.
Iām just struggling at a point in my life when I think I shouldnāt be. Itās a massive case of imposter syndrome.
Iāll let you know how it goes, as always.
Filling the well
With the continuing lockdown, there hasnāt been any getting together with friends or family and, for the first time since I started to work from home in March, Iām feeling the lack of community. I have our household: me and Phil and Mom and Torvi. And Iām with them every day.
And thatās it.
I attended four virtual events in January, two workshops, and two readings. I also attended two board meetings for the Canadian Authors Association.
And thatās it. There are a lot of MS Teams meetings for work and Iām still at my peak zoom saturation level.
Iāve just been walking Torvi twice a day (which I must pause to do right now) and living in my own little world. I have to reach out to some friends ā¦
What Iām watching and reading
The most recent season of His Dark Materials finished in January. Iām quite enjoying the series, particularly the chemistry between the actors who play Lyra and Will. There are some distinct differences between the series and the books, but I appreciate the choices made. For example, introducing Willās plot in the first season.
Discovery also wrapped up its season in January. Though I like the series overall, this season seemed to find its stride better than some of the others. One reason may be because Michael and the Discovery are now in the distant future. They can, for the first time, write their own stories free of the legacies of other ST series.
I finished watching Warrior Nun on Netflix. It was okay. Confusing. And it took the protagonist seven episodes to get over herself and commit to her role as the halo-bearer. The last three episodes were the best of the season, but they shouldnāt have taken half as long to get there.
Also on Netflix was the first season of Snowpiercer just in time to start season two. Iād seen the movie but hadnāt read the graphic novels and liked that they chose not to do (another) reboot.
Finally, Phil and I caught up on the first half of Supernatural, season 15. We just needed to fill in a few gaps (How did Rowena become the queen of hell? How did Jack come back from the divine dead?) and now we have the full picture.
In January, I read/listened to seven books. The first was an Audible Original, Tanya Talagaās Seven Truths. Loved it. Seven Indigenous teachings. Seven stories told with an emphasis on reconciliation and what it could be if we open ourselves to the possibility.
Louise Erdrichās Future Home of the Living God is a dark, post-apocalyptic novel with an unreliable narrator and a disturbing end. Itās a great book and Erdrich is a master of deep POV. It just leaves you thinking about how horrible people can be and how easily the world could turn into literal hell.
Then, I read Rivers Solomonās The Deep. Itās the story of how the slaves thrown overboard on Atlantic crossings spawned a race of merpeople whose collective trauma is so deep that they decide to entrust it to one of their number. Itās the story of what happens when that one decides to share the burden.
The next book I listened to was Kazuo Ishiguroās The Remains of the Day. The narrator has striven for most of his life to be a āgood butlerā but, in the process, has remained uncritical of his employerās shortcomings, and of the feelings (his and hers) developing between himself and the housekeeper. The series of the butlerās reminiscences are framed by a road trip to see that housekeeper. In the end, he chooses wilful blindness. Itās the easier path.
Then, I read L.L. McKinneyās A Blade So Black. Loved. A retelling of Alice in Wonderland with several twists. Iāve already picked up the second in series.
I finished off the month with another Audible Original (it was a freebie), Mel Robbinsā Take Control of You Life. Itās about listening to your fear and learning how to move past it. Youād think Iād have learned something from this one, eh? Itās probably one of the reasons Iāve come down with this case of imposter syndrome. Iām facing my fear. Maybe I should listen to it again š
And that was the revelatory month in this writerās life.
Until tipsday, be well and stay safe, be kind, and stay strong. The world needs your stories!
Welcome to February! Winter is progressing, the light is returning, and weāre beginning to see signs that the lockdown is once again flattening the curve. Yes, there have been problems with the vaccines, but we will see a resolution, sooner rather than later.
Youāve been so good, wearing your mask, maintaining physical distance, washing your hands. Keep it up! This is the way we beat covid-19. Reward yourself for all your good work with some informal writerly learnings š
This time, I’m exploring Gail Carriger’s The Heroine’s Journey and what it taught me about the stories I write.
While you’re there, you may want to check out some of the other awesome columnists or look into Gabriela’s writers’ resources, courses, or the Word Nerd community.